Chapter 46

The editor sent me a message this morning saying it launches early this morning.

It's launching again.

So fast.

It feels like I uploaded the new book just yesterday; no, I should say, the last time I finished a book feels like it was just yesterday... That state of vigorous vitality and all things competing is still before my eyes; how did it turn into my launch day in the blink of an eye?

Someone must have sped up my time flow; I hope they stand up and confess quickly. Don't let me catch them, or they'll have a hard time.

Of course, it could also be because happy times are always short... right?

But I don't seem to have been very happy!

Facts prove that this damn life passes just this fast; no matter whether you are happy or not, only when you are suffering does a day feel like a year. For example—writer's block, writer's block, and writer's block.

It's strange; when I wasn't uploading, I could easily write thousands or tens of thousands a day, and the stockpile grew fast, but once I started a new book, life wasn't good anymore.

A small block every three days, a big block every five days; blocking back and forth, blocking away the old times, blocking little Duoduo bald. Every day I'm trembling, walking on thin ice, just wanting to post on Moments to ask if I can reach the other side.

Who the hell knows if I can, I don't even know!

So I'm hesitant, so I'm indecisive, so when it feels like a day is a year, I feel like I'm wasting my time. But when I look back, I find that the days were actually too fulfilling, so fulfilling that sometimes I can't even believe it.

I often look back at what I've written, and most of the time I feel like it was written damn well; how could I write such amazing things? And more often, I'll roll around and howl, feeling like I can never write such amazing things again.

Sometimes, I will focus on watching some plots I like, because I still remember how happy those days were when I wrote that part. And there are some plots I will subconsciously skip and ignore, because those days weren't very smooth or were very bad.

I haven't written a diary since I graduated from elementary school, but now when I look back at those stories, I feel like my unremarkable past is appearing before my eyes again.

Updates are like turpentine; when they fall from the branches, they wrap around the past me, and after a period of time, the memories of the past will appear in the update list, like neatly arranged amber.

When I wrote this chapter, Bai Ze celebrated my birthday; when I wrote that chapter, Duoduo was sick; I remember I was very sad when this plot was updated; that plot was really difficult to write, I stayed up very late, but now it seems the effect is really good... Those trivial past events are tucked into the gaps after the plot, hidden in corners I didn't notice. When I look back, they suddenly jump out and appear before my eyes when I'm not paying attention.

Such distant things, you guys still remember them for me.

Really amazing.

This job still has some benefits, right?

Since I started writing full-time, my life has become monotonous and boring.

Most of the time after opening my eyes every day is spent in front of the computer; after finishing writing, I collapse on the chair, unable to move. I gave up socializing and going out, no longer contacting others, and don't talk much to other people. After a long time, I became unwilling to take the initiative to send messages to people, immersed in my own little world every day, and over time, I seemed to become transparent.

Looking back now, while feeling a sense of loss, I also feel...

It's damn awesome!

How can there be such a good thing in the world?!

What was I doing earlier? Oh, I think I started writing earlier.

Thinking about it this way, it's even more awesome.

When I was young, I often thought, this world is so dark, I'm going to fight, fight, fight and overturn everything! After I was no longer young, I felt that although this world is a mess, at least I found the place where I can be most at ease.

As long as I can write something, I feel happy.

If readers can like it, then I feel it's worth gritting my teeth.

Of course, if I didn't have to update every day, it would be even better; this life would be like a paradise with milk and honey flowing in the river and figs growing on the trees.

If I could write a book that readers would remember for a lifetime, then my life wouldn't have been spent in vain, right?

So, work harder, grit my teeth a bit more, and endure it; it doesn't seem like anything.

When I was fourteen, I imagined that after leaving my hometown and going to places I had never been, I could live a life of accomplishment. I didn't know what a life of accomplishment was at the time, but if possible, at least try to achieve a little more.

Looking back now, I find that in fifty years of life, being able to do one thing well is already very remarkable.

If I could do a few more things well, that would be really amazing.

Looking at it this way, I don't seem as unsuccessful as I thought; at the very least, I can support my family, take good care of Bai Ze and Duoduo, and at least let Duoduo live a life of free dog food. Well, actually, Bai Ze and Duoduo are taking care of me... But I also contribute; at least as the person being taken care of, I provide a lot of valuable emotional value, okay!

If life is a battle, then let's go kill together; I'll be responsible for the "ga-ga," because I have a loud voice!

But besides nagging about life, there's only work left.

Writing, updating, writer's block, it's starting again.

It is foreseeable that the future will be such a cycle, year after year, month after month. I hope one day I can live a beautiful life of writing smoothly every day without writer's block, but that is too far away.

If there's writer's block, then block; I have to write even if I'm blocked.

If there's no inspiration, go find it; wherever it is, go to the ends of the earth, and if it's not found in either place, then I'll change to another place.

Big or small, I can always find it.

If I can't find it, I'll look again, pretend I found it, and grit my teeth to continue writing.

Now, "Above Destiny" is about to launch; even though the stockpile is sparse and the future is unknown and uneasy, after being anxious for so many days, I actually feel a hint of relief, a kind of refreshing feeling of finally being sent to the guillotine after dragging it out for too long.

No need to hesitate anymore, the plan is set.

The endless trek has begun again; no matter if you are prepared or not, you have to keep moving forward.

I hope luck and creativity can still favor me as always.

I also hope you can like my small achievements.

After a long time, we meet again at the starting point of the journey; now, this Heavenly Track Flight · Doomsday Train is about to depart, Train Captain Ji Jue has been waiting for a long time, please passengers hold your tickets and board in an orderly manner.

I sincerely hope everyone has a pleasant journey.

I also hope that in the future, we can meet again at the destination.

Thank you all!

Thank you!

Duoduo and I love you, really!