Chapter 46

The editor messaged me this morning saying it would be released early this morning.

It's time for another release.

So fast.

It feels like it was only yesterday that I uploaded the new book—no, I should say, it feels like it was only yesterday that I finished the last one... That state of vibrant vitality and all things contending for growth is still before my eyes; how, in the blink of an eye, has it turned into the place of my release?

Someone must have sped up my time flow; I hope they step forward and confess quickly. Don't let me catch them, or they'll have a hard time.

Of course, it could also be because happy times are always short... right?

But I don't seem to have been very happy!

Facts prove that this damn life just passes this quickly, regardless of whether you are happy or not; only when you are suffering does a day feel like a year. For example—writer's block, writer's block, and writer's block.

It's strange; when I haven't uploaded, I can write thousands or tens of thousands of words a day, and the stockpile grows rapidly, but once I open a new book, life just isn't good anymore.

A small block every three days, a big block every five days; blocking back and forth, blocking away the old times, blocking little Duoduo bald. Every day I am trembling, walking on thin ice, just wanting to post on Moments to ask myself if I can reach the other shore.

God knows if I can; I don't even know!

So I look ahead and behind, so I hesitate, so when a day feels like a year, I feel like I've wasted my time. But when I look back, I find that the days were actually too full, so full that sometimes I find it hard to believe.

I often look back at what I have written, and most of the time I feel that what I wrote was so damn good, how could I write such amazing things? And then more often I will roll around and howl, feeling that I can never write such amazing things again.

Sometimes, I will focus on watching some plots I like, because I still remember how happy those days were when I wrote this part. There are also some plots that I subconsciously skip and ignore, because those days were not very smooth or were very bad.

I haven't written a diary since I graduated from elementary school, but now when I look back at those stories, I feel that my unremarkable past has appeared before my eyes again.

Updates are like turpentine; when they fall from the branches, they wrap around the me of the past. After a period of time, the memories of the past will appear in the update list, like neatly arranged amber.

When writing this chapter, Bai Ze had a birthday; when writing that chapter, Duoduo was sick; I remember being very sad when this plot was updated; that plot was really difficult to write, I stayed up very late, but now it seems the effect is really good... Those miscellaneous trivial past events are sandwiched in the gaps after the plot, hidden in corners I haven't noticed. When I look back, they suddenly jump out and appear before my eyes when I'm not paying attention.

Such distant things, you still remember them for me.

Really amazing.

This job still has some benefits, right?

Since I started writing full-time, my life has become monotonous and boring.

After opening my eyes every day, I spend most of my time in front of the computer. After finishing writing, I collapse on the chair, unable to move. I gave up socializing and going out, no longer in contact with others, and don't talk to other people much. After a long time, I became unwilling to take the initiative to send messages to people, immersed in my own world every day, and over time, I seemed to become transparent.

Looking back now, while feeling a sense of loss, I also feel...

It's fucking great!

How can there be such a good thing in the world?!

What was I doing earlier? Oh, it seems I started writing earlier.

Thinking about it this way, it's even more refreshing.

When I was young, I often thought, this world is so dark, I'm going to fight and overturn everything! After I was no longer young, I felt that although this world is not very good, at least I found the place where I can be most at ease.

As long as I can write something, I will feel happy.

If readers can like it, then I feel it's worth gritting my teeth.

Of course, if I didn't have to update every day, it would be even better. This life is like a kingdom of heaven with milk and honey flowing in the river and figs full of trees.

If I could write a book that readers would remember for a lifetime, then my life wouldn't have been in vain, right?

So, work harder, grit my teeth, and endure it; it doesn't seem like much.

When I was fourteen, I imagined that after leaving my hometown and going to places I had never been, I could live a life of accomplishment. At that time, I didn't know what a life of accomplishment was, but if possible, I would try to achieve at least a little bit of results.

Looking back now, I find that in fifty years of life, being able to do one thing well is already very remarkable.

If I can do a few more things well, that would be too amazing.

Looking at it this way, I don't seem to be as unsuccessful as I thought. At the very least, I can support my family, take care of Bai Ze and Duoduo, and at least let Duoduo live a life of free dog food. Well, actually, Bai Ze and Duoduo are taking care of me... But I also have contributions! At least as the person being taken care of, I provided a lot of valuable emotional value, okay!

If life is a battle, then let's kill together; I'll be responsible for the "ga-ga" because I have a loud voice!

But besides nagging about life, there is only work left.

Writing, updating, writer's block, it's about to start again.

It is foreseeable that the future will be such a cycle, year after year, month after month. I hope that one day I can live a beautiful life of writing smoothly every day without writer's block, but that is too far away.

If there is writer's block, let it be; I have to write even if there is a block.

If there is no inspiration, go find it. Wherever it is, go there, search the sky and the yellow springs. If both places are vast and nothing is seen, then I will change to another place.

Whether big or small, I can always find it.

If I can't find it, look again, pretend I found it, and bite the bullet and continue writing.

Now, "Above Destiny" is about to be released. Even if the stockpile is scarce and the future is unknown and uneasy, after being anxious for so many days, I actually feel a trace of relief, a kind of refreshing feeling of finally being sent to the guillotine after dragging it out for too long.

No need to hesitate anymore, the plan is set.

The trek without an end has begun again. No matter if you are ready or not, you have to keep moving forward.

I hope luck and creativity will continue to favor me as always.

I also hope you will like my small achievements.

After a long time, we meet again at the starting point of the journey. Now, this Sky Track Flight: Doomsday Train is about to depart. Train Captain Ji Jue has been waiting for a long time. Please passengers hold your tickets and board the train in an orderly manner.

I sincerely hope everyone has a pleasant journey.

I also hope that in the future, we can meet again at the finish line.

Thank you all!

Thank you!

Duoduo and I both love you, really!