Chapter 165: Pain Cannot Be Compared

In fact, Chris took more than ten minutes.

Yang Yi grew increasingly tormented waiting outside; the splashing water in the bathroom masked certain sounds, making her feel as if she were sitting on pins and needles.

She felt both awkward and guilty, wanting to leave yet worrying that Chris would be anxious if he came out and couldn't find her, so she could only pace back and forth by the window to ease her restlessness.

But it was precisely this restlessness that masked some previous unpleasantness.

At the window, the evening breeze of a summer night blew gently, warm yet slightly cool, carrying the scent of the sea breeze, dispelling the stagnant atmosphere indoors and making her feel as if she had suddenly returned to the secret base in Haibei City.

She seemed to hear the sound of ocean waves, and a faint smell of seaweed reached her nose; gradually, even the scents of osmanthus and Chinese privet seemed to drift over...

She stood quietly by the window when a embrace filled with a fresh citrus scent wrapped around her from behind; Chris said nothing, simply holding her gently, following her gaze to look out at the dark night.

"What are you thinking?" After a long while, he asked in a low voice.

"My secret base," Yang Yi's voice seemed to come from a very distant place. "It is a cliff by the sea; because the terrain is steep, ordinary people find it hard to climb up, so I selfishly claimed it as my secret base."

There was a hint of laughter in her tone, and Chris heard it.

"What does it look like? How far is it from the sea? Can the waves crash up there? What plants are there? Or is it just jagged rocks? Can you tell me about it?" Chris rested his head on her shoulder and asked gently.

"Well, at first it was a huge mess of chaotic woods and strange rocks, so I tidied it up, cleared away the withered branches and fallen leaves, and chopped down the vines tangled everywhere to make a rattan chair. When Haibei City was cleaning up the cityscape, they discarded a large pile of osmanthus trees and oleanders with poor quality, so I dragged them to the cliff and planted them in the empty spaces; gradually, my secret base became more and more beautiful..." Her tone became a bit more cheerful, as if these seemingly boring little things gave her a greater sense of accomplishment than saving the world.

"It must be very beautiful there, after all, it was built by you bit by bit, right?" Chris's voice also carried a hint of laughter.

"Yes, I even made a small table by hand; my craftsmanship was too poor, it was all crooked and could never sit flat. I had no choice but to fix it into the soil, and unexpectedly, it actually took root!" Yang Yi's tone was surprised and proud, as if marveling at this tiny miracle of life. "Every few days I have to trim its branches, otherwise I won't even have a table to use... However, it's growing more and more abstract—I haven't been back for two months, it's probably gone completely wild by now..."

"That's good too; there is an artist who specializes in making this kind of furniture, starting from a small sapling, using wire to dictate its growth path, and then letting it grow into a piece of furniture. Darling, you have the talent of an artist!" He teased and kissed her hair.

"Of course," Yang Yi agreed with a beaming smile. "When I have some free time, I'll take you to visit my secret base so you can appreciate my work."

A faint sense of joy welled up in Chris's heart. It was like his childhood, when he stayed up all night in the garden just waiting for that one little purple flower to bloom; by dawn, he was tired and sleepy from waiting, and when he rubbed his eyes, that little flower finally quietly opened a slit, releasing a faint, almost imperceptible fragrance.

"Okay, then it's settled!" His tone was very light, as if afraid of startling this newly blooming little flower, yet the lingering sound was heavy, as if fearing she might change her mind.

"Actually, because the terrain is so high, there are often fierce winds there, especially during typhoon season. If it's night, with a tsunami plus thunder and lightning, looking out at the sea from the cliff, it's just like the end of the world... At such times, a feeling arises, as if between heaven and earth, one is as small as a mayfly..." Yang Yi's voice grew low.

Chris said nothing, simply holding her a little tighter.

"Actually, I'm very afraid of lightning and thunder... When I was young, I didn't dare go back, so I hid in a concrete pipe left behind by road construction in the fields. That night, the rain fell particularly hard, the wind was particularly strong, thunder kept rumbling, boom-boom-boom, and lightning flashed incessantly... The sky was especially dark, especially cold..." She suddenly shivered very slightly, instinctively leaning into Chris's embrace; Chris tightened his long arms, instantly wrapping her completely in his hold.

"... It seems it was a Saturday; the next day was a holiday, so I worked late in the secret base. I dragged over many osmanthus trees and oleanders that the sanitation workers had discarded, preparing to work overtime and plant them all... At that time, I had only recently arrived in Haibei City and hadn't experienced the power of a typhoon... I was busy planting trees with a flashlight when suddenly a fierce wind howled; the sea breeze, carrying rain and waves, crashed up the cliff, the entire earth shook, thunder roared, and lightning flashed... At that time, I hadn't awakened my telekinesis yet, so I was terrified and tried to run back, but the wind was too strong, almost blowing me off the cliff... I could only hug a tree and held on like that all night... After returning, I fell seriously ill, but from then on I was no longer afraid of thunder and lightning... After all, there are many things in this world far more terrifying than thunder and lightning..."

Chris dared not imagine what she had experienced during that night of fierce wind, rain, lightning, and thunder. In the terror of nature wielding the might of heaven and earth, she could only rely on a single tree, waiting for dawn alone and in fear; what kind of feeling was that?

He wanted to ask her what she was thinking then; was she cold then? Hungry? Lonely? Yet he merely rubbed his forehead affectionately against her hair a few times and asked nothing.

She stopped speaking, as if lost in thought.

After a while, she and Chris lay half-reclined on the bed, finding a comfortable position in his arms, listening to his steady, powerful heartbeat. She liked this, enjoying this rare quiet time; even without saying a word, it was good.

"Have you seen a movie I acted in? 'Blue Street'?" Suddenly, Chris asked.

Yang Yi came back to her senses. "Yes, an art film..."

"You think I acted terribly, right?" Chris asked with a smile.

"Uh..." Yang Yi hesitated a bit. "Actually, it wasn't that bad..."

"No need to make excuses for me; it was terrible." Chris couldn't help but find her hesitation amusing. "... On the second day I arrived in Hollywood, I found work. While other new actors who came with me were still working part-time jobs to support their dreams, I had already filmed several youth movies and was considered somewhat famous... At that time, newspapers were full of praise; film critics praised my natural acting, saying I lacked the awkwardness of a newcomer, and I won several awards like the 'Teen Choice Award' and 'Most Popular Young Male Actor', gaining the affection of some fans..." He raised an eyebrow and said self-mockingly.

Yang Yi turned her head to look at him; the corners of her mouth curled up, and her eyes lifted; her eyes glowed slightly, anticipating what he would say next.

This expression added a touch of vividness to her usually calm, almost blank expression, making her appear lively. Chris simply couldn't resist and gave her lips a light peck.

"... At that time, I was ambitious, thinking I would become the second Lewis or the second De Niro... Ignoring my agent's advice, I accepted an art film—well, that one, 'Blue Street', preparing to show my true skills and take the first step in my quest for a major acting award... I even went to a Hollywood acting workshop to study for a period... The result—you already know..."

"...'He didn't know what he was doing the whole time,' 'His acting was pretentious, losing his most precious naturalness,' 'Except for his face attracting fans who contributed to the box office, he contributed nothing to this film,' 'The story was overly sentimental and cloying, and the actors' confused acting brought this rotten film to a new low'... These were their reviews."

Chris's tone was humorous and relieved; if he hadn't already stopped caring, he could never have spoken of the blow he suffered back then so wittily, to the point that Yang Yi couldn't help but let out a little giggle.

"... At that time I thought, well, maybe the script of this movie wasn't great, and the director's level was poor—perhaps my acting had problems too... But I still had a chance to prove myself, so I accepted another movie, 'Tomorrow Never Comes'... Look, you're laughing again..."

Yang Yi finally couldn't hold back and laughed out loud; this 'Tomorrow Never Comes' was rated a low 5.9 on Green Bean Movie Network. The director seemed to want to use black humor to express a sense of absurdity in daily life, but Chris failed to grasp it, and his acting was somewhat exaggerated.

Moreover, this was a work by the famous director Frank attempting a new style; after the movie came out, this famous director said Chris had ruined his film and that he would never hire a new-generation young male actor to act in his works again.

But in Yang Yi's objective view, this movie wasn't just Chris's problem; the script and the director had problems everywhere; the plot was just one person meeting another person, and that other person meeting yet another person; they ate, talked, went to work, got off work, and slept—it was a tedious chronicle that made people drowsy.

"After this absolutely rotten masterpiece, my career stalled for a while; because of Director Frank's words, many producers and directors stopped using me, I lost many job opportunities, and I had fewer friends around me... It was like suddenly falling from the clouds, returning from a bustling dream... I also began to doubt my acting, doubt whether I possessed talent, and doubt whether my previous success was just some kind of luck..." Chris's voice gradually grew lower.

Yang Yi raised her hand to stroke his head; his hair was slightly damp, fluffy, and felt very good.

Outside the window, tall oak trees swayed in the evening breeze, their broad leaves making a rustling sound; the evening breeze blew against her, carrying coolness and dampness. Dark night shadows shrouded the villa, with only the light shining from the windows offering a touch of warmth.

"To be honest, at that time I was still unconvinced," Chris continued. "Although I studied business, I was interested in movies since childhood; I audited directing courses and observed the director's work while filming—it wasn't that hard! That's what I thought back then. Just then, Frank's words provoked me; at that time, almost no good roles were looking for me, so I decided to invest myself, be the director myself, and be the lead myself..."

"Actually, 'Afternoon' was filmed quite well," Yang Yi said quickly. "I watched it carefully; you acted well, the story was told very completely, and the plot was good too... I think the score they gave it was too low!"

Chris helplessly shook his head and rubbed her head. "They aren't my fans; they won't treat me differently! Sometimes 'quite well' means mediocre, right? Mediocrity means dispensable; such works cannot be sold in Hollywood, where good films gather, and even the qualification for a limited screening was something I fought for everywhere—as long as you aren't outstanding, you are mediocre."

"This is your first directorial work; they should be a bit more tolerant!" Yang Yi said in a low voice.

In her eyes, Chris should have been born a favored son of heaven; he should have been naturally so dazzling; he should have been able to obtain everything effortlessly—just like when she first met him, he was already a superstar watched by the masses, living under the spotlight, living on the screen, living in a semi-mountain villa in Beverly Hills worth hundreds of millions of dollars, living a rich and wonderful life.

"After finishing that movie, I was lost and depressed for a long time; I began to doubt whether I possessed talent in this area, whether I should continue, and the meaning of doing all this; I suddenly lost my direction in life... I lived a life of self-abandonment, frequenting bars and nightclubs, attending parties all night, drinking heavily... In short, it was utterly absurd, and my life was a mess!"

"Oh~~" Yang Yi drew out her tone. "You didn't linger among different women? Your gossip news during that period flew all over the sky, supporting a huge number of paparazzi and tabloids!"

Chris let out a low, muffled laugh, his chest vibrating continuously. "Darling, if life could be edited as freely as a movie, I would hand over the final cut of the movie 'My Life' to you; you could edit it into any shape you like."

Considering this love talk was truly moving, she forgave him.

"Actually, these experiences are hardly worth mentioning, right? After all, I wasn't at a dead end back then; when I was popular before, I earned a sum of money, used it for investment, and earned another sum; even if I never acted again, I could live quite well... Do you think I'm putting on an act and whining without cause?" Chris asked a bit uncertainly, his hand nervously stroking her arm.

"No, I have always believed that pain cannot be compared. Everyone is the protagonist of their own life; even if others objectively suffered things more painful than mine, we cannot truly empathize. People can only feel their own pain." Her tone was gentle yet very calm; this calmness gave Chris a sense of certainty at this moment, as if a small boat in a storm saw the green light of a distant lighthouse. "So this also means that the pain of a sensitive heart at the passing of autumn leaves is equal to another person's pain at losing a loved one."

At this very moment, Chris was certain that he had found the one in his life; in his movie 'My Life', she would be the only female lead.

He tightened his hold on the slender body in his arms and let out a long sigh; this sigh was filled with indescribable regret and remorse: "God, I am willing to give everything, just to exchange for one chance to meet you earlier..."