Chapter 200: Grandfather's Advanced Lung Cancer

"Don't look at me like that; I'm not a saint," Yang Yi smiled. "Once the situation turns unfavorable, I will strike back."

"And before that? Keep retreating?" Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"... You know, they fear me," Yang Yi said calmly.

The air suddenly fell silent, save for the chaotic chirping of birds outside the window, which made one's heart restless.

After a long pause, Thomas said, "Anyone feels fear toward power they do not understand and cannot control."

"What about you?"

"What?"

"Are you afraid of me?" Yang Yi asked with a smile.

Thomas pondered, the scene of her before she lost consciousness that day surfacing in his mind; the image of her shouting at the sky was like a painting engraved on the wall of his heart, never fading.

"As for you, I am not afraid. But if you become someone who is no longer you, I might be."

Yang Yi's heart skipped a beat, and she suddenly turned her head to look at him.

Thomas's expression remained calm, as if he was unaware of the hidden meaning in his words.

Under her burning gaze, Thomas licked his dry lips; this was not due to her identity or the pressure of her immense power, but because of her... a woman, a woman whom, even though he had always refused to admit, he now had to admit, he felt something beyond friendship toward.

He felt ashamed and annoyed at his own nervousness; this was an emotion he rarely experienced in his life, and he never expected to feel something akin to "cowardice."

"Didn't you say you had a beloved? What, you went to see a strip show, and he had no objection?" Somehow, this sentence suddenly popped out of him.

This sentence was not what he had expected; rather, it seemed to have burst out on its own, and the moment it left his lips, he became even more annoyed with himself.

"Maybe..." Yang Yi spoke vaguely.

She did not like to broadcast her love life; romance is a private emotion that need not be judged by anyone outside the two involved.

This perfunctory remark only made Thomas feel even more stifled.

Why was her tone so uncertain? Did she not care about that person's feelings? Had she not explained it to him? Or did she simply not care about him?

This speculation secretly pleased him.

He wanted to ask again, but a vague worry arose, fearing that some of his obscure emotions would be discovered by others, so he held back.

After admiring the paintings for a while, Yang Yi went on her own to the vegetable garden to check on the crops she had planted earlier.

Thomas remained in the studio, but he could no longer focus on his creation as he had before Yang Yi arrived; he could only lean gloomily by the window drinking tea, looking down at the vegetable garden through the window.

Yang Yi spent a rare leisurely time in Thomas's country courtyard, even having dinner with Thomas and Miranda before slowly returning to her own dormitory.

Her mood had originally been quite good, until Feng Liancheng brought news that left her at a loss.

While speaking, Feng Liancheng glanced at her expression: "Your grandfather has lung cancer; the doctors have determined he has only three or four months left. The Yang family called this morning, wanting you to return to see him."

An old face, often blurred by smoke, floated up in her mind, and a wave of irritation rose in her heart.

"Is there no possibility of a cure?" She knew she was asking a pointless question; if there were a possibility of a cure, Feng Liancheng would not have said it this way. She simply did not want to hear any news about the Yang family; everything there made her loathe.

"According to the data we found in the hospital, it is advanced lung cancer; there is no need for treatment," Feng Liancheng said dryly, looking at the tablet.

"What is my work today? These major matters are far more important than the life of a selfish, vain old man who is just wasting grain, right?" Yang Yi sneered coldly.

This harsh tone was the first time Feng Liancheng had heard from her; she had always been calm and gentle.

"That's true!" Feng Liancheng, as if not hearing the harshness in her tone, nodded flatly. "The Interstellar Immigration Bureau is still waiting for your assistance, the altar research in the Evil God Research Institute has encountered difficulties and needs you, and the Alien Environment Development Agency..."

"Do you think I should go back?" Yang Yi interrupted him.

Feng Liancheng paused. "As a friend, or as a colleague?"

"Say both."

"As a friend, I hope you go back. As a colleague, I do not hope you go back."

"?" Yang Yi raised an eyebrow.

"As a friend, I want to tell you that the past is past; it is better to face those unpleasant past events directly so they can never affect you again. As for why I do not advise you to go back," Feng Liancheng paused, "your recent methods of dealing with alien creatures have been so explosive; if you encounter those people and things that make you unhappy again, I worry you..."

"Worry about what? Going on a killing spree?" Yang Yi found it both amusing and ridiculous. "Do I look that violent?"

"That is not quite it. But a string stretched for too long may break. You are very tense."

Yang Yi fell silent and asked softly, "Is it that obvious?"

"Anyone who has been in contact with you for a long time can easily see it."

Yang Yi said self-mockingly, "I wish I could be a bit more relaxed."

Feng Liancheng patted her shoulder, not knowing what to say.

Yang Yi did not go back; she followed her original schedule and went to the Interstellar Immigration Bureau and the Evil God Research Institute.

These past few days, she kept herself so busy that she had no leisure to think about those things she did not wish to recall.

But this matter was like a ghost, popping up from her heart from time to time, disturbing her and making her heart restless.

That night, she called Thomas and remained silent for a long while until Thomas said sarcastically, "If you want to confess your love to me, come over in person."

Yang Yi couldn't help but smile. "Alright, I just want to consult you on a question. Suppose a person's family once abused him, and later his family contracted a terminal illness with little time left; should he, in the spirit of humanitarianism, return to see him off for the last time?"

Thomas sneered coldly, did not answer, and instead began talking about some irrelevant history.

"Do you know what Alexander did when he conquered cities like Thebes and Tyre?"

"What?" Yang Yi was somewhat confused.

"Because they encountered resistance, Alexander the Great ordered the cities to be massacred, sold a large number of residents into slavery, and even killed children."

"So?"

"Emperor Caesar carried out mass slaughter during his conquest of Gaul, killing at least 400,000 people. When he raided Germanic tribes near the Rhine, he ordered his cavalry to slaughter women and children; this war killed at least 150,000 to 200,000 people."

"Oh..."

"Napoleon once massacred as many as 100,000 innocent slaves in the Caribbean region at one time, ordering the French army to eliminate every black slave over the age of 12 living on the island, using methods including shooting, drowning, tearing apart with wild dogs, and even locking thousands of slaves in sealed ship holds to be poisoned to death alive."

"Hmm..."

"Do you understand?"

"Let me learn a thing or two?" Yang Yi couldn't help but laugh.

"FXXK his humanitarianism." Thomas's tone was cool. "If you climbed to this position step by step on your own, you wouldn't give a damn about any so-called humanitarianism.

"But you were struck here by a lucky lottery ticket. You still carry the moral standards of an ordinary person — even a good one. But can you use an ordinary person's moral standards to bind Alexander, Caesar, Napoleon?

"Since you've already taken this position, don't hold yourself to a saint's standards. Tell your superego cop to get lost! Go learn to be a little bad, do a little bad.

"No matter what you do — even if you destroy some country, kill hundreds of millions — those who worship you will still defend you, and those who despise you will still despise you. You'll still go down in history. Later generations won't condemn you for killing so many people for no reason; they'll only remember your great achievements."

Yang Yi laughed and nodded: "Mm… a very useful method — using the grand sweep of history to wash away an individual's predicament. Indeed, from a historian's perspective, an individual's meaning is worth nothing before the wheels of history; only heroes and overlords are worth mentioning. And from a cosmic perspective, even the survival of the entire Earth is worth nothing.

"But if you look at everything through a macro lens, you'll either fall into nihilism or into Übermensch philosophy — leading either to emptiness or to arrogance. I'm already empty enough, and I have to keep this bit of arrogance in check.

"And… compared to the macro cosmos, I care more about the patterns and spots on a single leaf."

Before her words had even fallen, Thomas's heart had already begun to pound violently, as if it would leap right out of his chest. An unprecedented surge of passionate warmth welled up from deep within him, and the feelings he'd held tightly back nearly burst out. But at the last moment he pressed them down again.

He licked his dry lips and said hoarsely: "Precisely because you're not Alexander, Napoleon, I give this advice. A real Napoleon wouldn't lose sleep over a question like this."

"I know."

Separated by ten thousand miles, the two each held their phones and smiled, sharing a tacit understanding where everything was conveyed without words.

"But I still suggest — that person you just mentioned, he doesn't have much time left anyway. Why not go kill him, help him get to hell early." Thomas offered the suggestion in a tone that wasn't entirely serious. "Anyone else you don't like, kill them too."

Yang Yi, half-laughing and half-serious: "Do you know what you're saying?"

"I'm inciting a moral saint who boasts of never killing anyone to kill people, to do bad things." Thomas said indifferently: "That's exactly what it is."

"I've never once boasted of being a moral saint. I don't even know where that rumor started."

"Whoever started it, it was to bind you."

"You're encouraging me to become a bad person?" Yang Yi laughed.

"No. I just hope you'll be a little happier."

On the phone, the two fell silent for a moment.

"Thank you for the advice. It's been very useful to me. Good night."

"Good night."