Chapter 31: Confession

This time she woke up quickly, still drenched in cold sweat, unable to distinguish whether she was in reality or a dream.

The panic from the dream still clung to her heart; she stretched out her hands, her gaze lingering on them for a long time—no black mud, no fresh blood.

The light from the lamp was chillingly white, radiating coldness that left her heart feeling empty. The window was half-open; the early morning wind blew against the linen curtains, making them sway as if something were hiding behind them.

When you cannot distinguish reality from dreams, what can serve as an anchor to confirm reality?

Everything in reality can be replicated in a dream; when you carefully confirm this is reality, yet the illogical and bizarre strike again, your muddled brain suffers another heavy blow.

The small purple flowers on the ceiling light remain unchanged; are they truly real, or just another dream?

Yang Yi thought drowsily, her thoughts interrupting and reconnecting intermittently; after a while with no strange events occurring, she finally confirmed this was reality.

She picked up her phone to check the time; if there was still some time before dawn, she would play games or read web novels to pass this long night and get through this moment of lingering terror.

The figure on the screen saver relaxed her mood a bit; it was the photo Chris had sent, with greenery in the background, his smile truly charming. It was a charming smile that required no deep thought or recollection, producing joy the instant it was seen, striking straight at the soul; usually, only those favored by heaven, who were the focus of everyone since childhood, naturally handsome and compelling, and aware of their own advantages, could possess such a confident, cheerful, and charming smile.

What made her even more joyful was Chris's text message; oh, he had sent a message. Getting to know him was probably the only thing worth being happy about since her superpower was discovered.

She finally grasped a sense of reality, pulling herself out of loneliness; she was simply eager to open the message.

"I saw you on the news. How are you? Are you okay?" The sending time was 9:45 PM; at that time she was still in a meeting, while on the other side of the Pacific in the country of Aka, it was approximately 5 AM.

Oh, Misty Town; he had seen it on the news.

As soon as this fact appeared in her mind, cracks, altars, corpses, the Life Source, and the voice inside her body—various images swept through her brain like a kaleidoscope.

To dispel these disturbing emotions, she subconsciously dialed the number, her movements even somewhat desperate and hurried.

The moment the call connected, she realized she had not prepared what to say.

"It should be past 4 AM on your side now, right? Why are you up so early?" Chris took his phone and walked to a quiet place. This was the first time she had called him; he was somewhat surprised, a smile he couldn't hold back on his face.

"I'm a bit..." She was about to say her mood was terrible, but a strong, unprovoked sense of pride surged up: Why reveal your emotions? To gain his sympathy? Pity? Show your vulnerability like a little girl, begging for others' affection? Just like when you were... So she paused, then immediately changed her words: "... Uh... miss you..."

Only after the words left her lips did she realize what she had said; but once spoken, the words could not be taken back, so she could only smile at herself in silent self-mockery.

Since it was already said, she might as well throw caution to the wind. She urgently needed an accident to break the darkness and suffocation about to swallow her, to release her from this situation. The inexplicable voice inside her body, the unknown and ominous future it foreshadowed, the curse of the Fire Demon before death, the apocalyptic scene displayed by Wade—all kept her nerves taut, like a rubber band stretched to its limit, ready to snap at any moment.

If a romantic encounter could relax her tense nerves right now, that wouldn't be bad. After all, she had desired him for a long time; if there was such an opportunity, why not try?

Chris's heart jumped suddenly; ignoring the director approaching, he waved his hand to signal he was on a call and walked to a place even further from the crowd. They were filming a chase scene in the western Gobi Desert; it was mid-afternoon, and the scorching weather and the smoothness of the shoot made everyone extremely anxious.

"You know... I am your... loyal fan... Just like all fans wanting to get closer to their idol, I want to understand you more deeply, get closer to you, touch you..."

The girl's voice on the other end was a bit stuttering at first, as if she was desperately organizing her words, thinking as she spoke, but later became increasingly fluent. Her trailing tone gradually lowered, and the unspoken words in the lingering sound seemed greater than what was actually said.

Chris felt as if his heart had been lightly pricked by the tip of a feather, itchy. He immediately realized the other party was issuing a further invitation. For a man who already had feelings for her, this was truly a good signal.

He had a vague premonition about the direction their relationship was heading, but he didn't expect it to be so fast, and especially that the other party would initiate it. Her impression on him was of a reserved, steady person, possessing a calmness rare in girls of her age.

Moreover, the day before yesterday, their text exchanges were still at the level of ordinary friends, such as harmless jokes, mutual encouragement, etc., with at most a tiny bit of ambiguity, which could be diluted by "maybe I'm overthinking it." Today she suddenly made such a direct move, which was somewhat strange.

If an ordinary female fan suddenly confessed to him like this, he wouldn't feel anything, and might even politely thank her and keep his distance. But now, he only felt an uncontrollable joy and satisfaction; a surge of power seemed to flow through his body, and the scorching Gobi Desert suddenly felt cool.

This is the God of Humanity! The only "Superman" in reality! And he had once saved his life. The other party's abilities, identity, status, appearance, and that special attitude towards him distinct from everyone else at the banquet that day undoubtedly greatly satisfied a man's vanity.

Moreover, he was not without feelings for her.

When he asked for her contact information, didn't he subconsciously think something might happen? When they parted at the banquet, when he deliberately said "next time it will be orange-flavored," didn't he have the intention to seduce? When he actively and diligently sent text messages, was it just simply wanting to make a friend? Come on! Would you show your best side to a girl you are not interested in at all? Would you deliberately pose and take a perfect photo to send to an ordinary friend?

In this moment when Chris's emotions were surging, a short silence occurred between the two; it was only a few seconds, but in these few short seconds, it seemed an unpredictable change happened on the other end.

"It was too sudden, right? Sorry, I feel that way too. Don't worry, although I can fly, I won't fly over to beat up a man who has no interest in me... If you are busy, I'll hang up first..." Yang Yi suddenly changed her tone, speaking quickly, and even without waiting for Chris's response, she hung up the phone decisively.

Yang Yi's sudden words left Chris in surprise and unease; he even suspected she made this call to deliberately tease him.

What am I doing?! Yang Yi slumped on the sofa; the ceiling light above her head, radiating coldness, seemed to mock her: Playing a boring love game to avoid the impending crisis? Are you an idiot? A fool! Bai Chi! A jerk! Even if you are a schizophrenic neurotic, you are not mentally retarded; where did your rationality and logic go?

Facing unknown difficulties, facing the impending crisis, the only solution is to face it actively, not to hide in a stupid love game, deceiving yourself that nothing is happening!

Weakness! Cowardice! Why choose to escape? I hate your weakness the most! You were like this when you were young, and you are still like this when you are grown! You coward! Didn't you once swear never to be weak again?!

It must be the nightmare just now that affected me; it must be the other personality that made me do such an incredibly foolish act! Emotions! Discard negative emotions! Don't let those negative emotions dominate anymore! Enough for these years!

Go do it! Go fight! Go die! All the demons and monsters, if you want to come, come! Make every effort to explore the truth! To resist! If you want to destroy humanity, then destroy it! It's just dying along with humanity! Nothingness! Nothingness! Everything ultimately returns to nothingness! Humanity, past, future, civilization, everything and anything, what does it matter in the dimension of the universe? Even the universe will eventually perish!

If I am not even afraid of death, what am I afraid of? Pain? Torture? Endless hell? Endless hunger? Let me see them all! I might be tortured into a hungry ghost in hell, an uncontrollable addict, a scum who has lost all conscience, but before that, you must fight! Fight with the last bit of strength! If you really cannot fight back... at least there is one last path to take...

Yang Yi gritted her teeth; a surge of angry passion in her chest made her unable to sit on the sofa; her whole body seemed to be burning, her blood boiling, forcing her to pace around the living room to relieve it. The thought of "using love to escape reality" in that instant made her furious with herself, filled her with shame and anger, and made her despise herself from one minute ago.

What Fire Demon God Asarade, let's fight! What Celestial Clan, what Vortex Mites, or Laplace, and all sorts of things that can't even be named, if you want to come, just come! If Earth is on your menu, just come eat! I will fulfill my last duty; even if the only fate is death, I will open my arms to welcome it!

Resistance or death; everything is just that simple.

That voice! That voice that declared my fate! Whoever you are, come! I am not afraid of you! How could I be afraid of you? Yes, you announced the "inevitable path" of my fate! You used the Life Source to tempt me, wanting me to become an addict, wanting me to become a scum who eats my own kind, wanting me to become a gambler betting with fate; I know all your sinister intentions! I am ready! Come! Come—

At this very moment, she wished an enemy, a monster, would appear before her eyes immediately; she would fight the other party with all her might, using all her strength and anger, using her hands to grab, her feet to kick, her teeth to tear, and her entire skeleton to stab the enemy.

She vainly clenched her fists, staring at the empty air, her face flushed red with excitement, as if she saw the mortal enemy of her life.

Suddenly, like a flash of lightning in the dark night, a blinding white light illuminated the night sky; a thought suddenly appeared in her mind: Who says that inexplicably appearing voice is real? Who can be sure it is real?

Haven't you often talked to another personality that doesn't really exist before? How can you be sure this time is real? Maybe it's another auditory hallucination?

This thought immediately made her ecstatic; anger turned to excitement, and she tried her best to find evidence for this thought.

Except for me, no one heard that voice! Except for me, no one saw any trace of its existence! And self-awareness is the least trustworthy.

Even the stone chair on the altar might not exist; after all, Daniel and the others only saw the altar, Wade could see the Life Source, and only she, only she could see that detestable chair. Maybe this is an illusion?

That voice spoke the name of the Fire Demon God "Asarade"; this is a secret currently known only to Wade's group and her. She can be sure this voice could not be Wade's doing; it must be her own consciousness, definitely, her detestable auditory hallucinations have worsened again!

Yes, I have a little bit—some minor mental problems; isn't auditory hallucination quite normal?

No, I am normal; I don't have a mental illness, I don't have schizophrenia; I am normal! I am a normal person; I can work; my logical thinking is smooth! I can support myself independently!

I am just more introverted, don't like socializing, only like staying alone, only like communicating with myself! Anyone talks to themselves in their mind; anyone fantasizes; I just fantasize a bit more!

Is it really so? Another thought quietly crept into her mind: Isn't this your self-deception? Isn't this an excuse you fabricated to escape the impending ominous future? How pathetic, using an illness you have always been unwilling to admit and face as evidence!

No! She suddenly calmed down; I said, I will do my utmost, to fight! To act! To resist! As for that so-called "inevitable fate," if I ultimately cannot escape it, then my resistance must also be part of fate.

Fate itself is meant to be resisted.

Yang Yi sat back on the sofa again, staring at the small flowers on the lamp, lost in thought.

At this moment, the phone rang. It was Chris.

She only then remembered that hanging up the phone abruptly without waiting for the other party's response was undoubtedly extremely impolite.

How should she explain her behavior just now? She gazed at the ringing phone, her emotions complex.

If he asks about what happened just now, how should I answer? Say it was just a joke? However, that is not funny at all, and only serves to draw more attention to the matter.

The ringing continued for a long time; Yang Yi stared at the phone as if it were a time bomb.

Finally, the ringing stopped, and the phone screen went dark.

Just as she was about to sigh in relief, the phone rang again.

Alright, it seems I have no choice but to answer. Then I'll answer and see what he has to say. If he asks what happened just now, I'll tell him I was just bored and wanted to play a joke.

"I hope what I just heard was not a joke!" Chris's tone was somewhat urgent. "Although it was indeed a bit sudden, I am very happy—very, very happy! Moreover, I am not busy at all right now and have plenty of time to talk properly. Also, if you really fly over right now to punch me, I would be even happier... I mean, I really want to see you immediately..."