Chapter 33: Tasteless as Chewing Wax

The morning meeting ended in heavy silence.

“Do you regret saving those people on the beach back then?” Feng Liancheng asked her with a grin at lunch, “If you’d just stood by, maybe none of this would’ve happened today—I know your biggest dream was to rent land in the mountains and raise pigs and grow flowers… hahaha… you even downloaded ‘Raising and Managing Wild Pigs.’ Do you have any idea how hard I laughed when I checked your browsing history back then? I nearly died laughing. Everyone else who awakened wanted to cause trouble or secure benefits, but you? You wanted to raise wild pigs…”

Perhaps because their relationship had grown closer, Feng Liancheng now understood Yang Yi wasn’t the type to hold grudges, and his boldness had increased—he even dared to tease her openly about her past internet searches and downloads.

Yang Yi let out a cold snort. “Do you think I’m easygoing and don’t care that you snooped through my files? Let me tell you, that thorn’s been stuck in my heart all along!”

“Pfft—” Feng Liancheng waved his hand dismissively. “If you feel wronged, I’ll send you my entire life history and every download and browsing record—people have all kinds of weird thoughts, right? When I’m down, I even fantasize about destroying Earth and wiping out humanity. Does that make me irredeemably evil? Thinking about something and actually doing it are two completely different things! I’m not afraid of social death—even if you publish all my browsing history, I don’t care… If you want to know my kinks, I’ll tell you straight: I’m obsessed with Tifa from the 3D section…”

Before he finished, Director Zhou slapped him hard on the back of the head. “Do you even know where you are? What are you babbling about?”

Feng Liancheng didn’t shut up—he brightened even more. “Director, you know Tifa too? Otherwise how’d you know I was talking nonsense?”

Director Zhou cleared his throat twice, ignoring him, then turned to Yang Yi. “Tomorrow there’s a nationwide online meeting of awakened representatives. After it ends, you’ll give a speech as the national representative. Don’t forget to write your speech tonight.”

Yang Yi looked troubled.

Director Zhou cleared his throat again, hinting: “If you really don’t know how to write it, you could ask one of our in-house writers… you know the routine—increasing threats from alien lifeforms, awakened individuals should lead by example, protect the people’s lives and property…”

This was a clear signal she could hire someone to ghostwrite for her. Yang Yi immediately caught on and thanked Director Zhou.

“I’m starving. Let’s try the imperial chef’s cooking today—this isn’t something just anyone gets to experience…” The group arrived at the cafeteria. Feng Liancheng sat down and patted his rumbling stomach.

Hearing this, Yang Yi suddenly remembered: since returning from Mist Village, she hadn’t eaten or drunk a single thing—and yet, even now, she felt neither hunger nor thirst.

Nearly twenty hours had passed. The only thing she’d consumed—was Life Source.

A nameless panic surged through her. Her thoughts seemed to freeze; every voice around her sounded muffled, as if heard through glass.

“Yang Yi? Yang Yi?” Feng Liancheng nudged her. “What are you thinking about? You haven’t eaten since yesterday, have you? Try this braised lion’s head!” He used the serving chopsticks to place a meatball on her plate.

This was, after all, the pinnacle of Xia’s political center—even the work meals were prepared by imperial chefs. Lion’s head, Buddha Jumps Over the Wall, braised duck in clay pot, garlic-simmered fish fin, saffron-flavored shark fin rice, sturgeon egg soup—all dishes were perfectly seasoned, aromatic, and visually stunning. Yet Yang Yi felt no appetite whatsoever.

She could smell the food’s fragrance, but it no longer triggered her saliva as it once had.

“Eat up, what are you staring at?” Feng Liancheng stood up and ladled her a bowl of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall. “Try it—the ingredients and heat control out there just don’t compare!”

Yang Yi slowly picked up her spoon, scooped a portion of the soup, and slowly placed it in her mouth.

The texture was smooth, thick. She tasted salt, a faint sweetness, perhaps other umami notes. She could still perceive flavor—but these flavors no longer brought pleasure or satisfaction. Instead, they tasted of decay and death, like rotten fish and spoiled shrimp.

A wave of nausea rose to her throat. She gripped the spoon tightly, forcing it down, swallowing the half-chewed meat and broth whole.

She glanced at the others at the table—Director Zhou, Feng Liancheng, several colleagues—all eating normally. Clearly, after the long morning meeting, they were ravenous and ate quickly.

These dishes, which yesterday had made her mouth water, now looked like decaying animal carcasses.

After tasting the vibrant, pure energy of Life Source, after experiencing that ultimate pleasure and fulfillment—how could she possibly care about the corpses of dead animals?

Her subconscious must have known this all along: she would never again find joy in life’s most accessible pleasures. Like a sword hanging above her head, it constantly reminded her of what had happened.

You saw this coming, didn’t you? So why are you struggling to accept it? Yang Yi asked herself.

This is His goal—to make you unable to feel any joy in the world, then force you to actively consume others’ Life Source, turn you into a murderer, turn you into an addict who can’t break free. Is this enough to scare you? This is only the beginning! He’s barely lifted a finger—does this really stop you? Is your resolve this fragile?

No! No! Come on, come on! So it’s rotten fish and spoiled meat? So I have to swallow these decaying carcasses? I won’t just eat—I’ll eat them for the rest of my life! I’ll eat them forever!

I’m a normal person. Normal people eat. These things are delicious! Yes, delicious—made by imperial chefs!

Suddenly, Yang Yi poured the entire bowl of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall down her throat, then shoved the lion’s head Feng Liancheng had given her into her mouth, chewed it roughly, and swallowed it whole. She even stood up and ladled herself another bowl.

“Wow, you really are starving!” Feng Liancheng quickly grabbed the serving chopsticks and piled more dishes onto her plate. “Here, braised duck in clay pot, garlic-simmered fish fin, another bowl of shark fin rice… slow down, slow down, no one’s going to steal your food. If you like it, you can come back anytime—you won’t run out…”

She wolfed it all down. Her stomach was stuffed with moldy, rotting animal mush. A wave of deathly energy surged from her gut up her esophagus. Uncontrollable nausea rose. Her stomach churned, desperate to expel everything she’d just swallowed.

Yang Yi wiped her mouth, stood, and smiled. “I’m full. You all eat slowly.” She walked quickly toward the restroom.

Along the way, people recognized her and greeted her. She even stopped to chat with two groups about Mist Village, discussing its similarities and differences with the zombie incidents in Xia’s mountain villages.

Her stomach churned. Her body protested. Her stomach lining screamed to expel every last bit of rotten fish and spoiled meat she’d swallowed.

But Yang Yi, as if deliberately defying someone, didn’t just rely on willpower—she used her mental force to seal her esophagus shut.

In her mind, she sneered—as if taunting some unseen entity, or perhaps speaking to herself: “You want me to humiliate myself? To become a pathetic clown? You’ll be bitterly disappointed. I won’t be defeated by you! Just some rotting meat? I’ve eaten worse. I’ve even fought dogs for stinking leftovers… You think you can break me? Dream on!”

After bidding farewell to the two groups, she reached the restroom. She didn’t rush to vomit. Instead, she savored the dull, persistent cramps in her stomach—the pain that came from food unable to leave. It made her feel human.

Why do you insist on “being” human? You are human! Or do you believe you’ve already walked onto a path no longer human?

The thought struck her suddenly, like a punch to the face. She stood before the sink, her reflection pale as death.

‘Ha ha, a monster who can only feed on others’ lives, unable to digest human food—you still think you’re normal? The moment you consumed Life Source, you began to transform…’

‘Since returning from Mist Village, you’ve grown more cruel and bitter,’ Yang Yi said.

‘When you speak of me, you’re speaking of yourself—I am you, and you are me.’ It wasn’t angry. When Yang Yi grew furious, it usually delighted—it was delighted now.

Yang Yi ignored it. She had no energy for banter. She entered the restroom and vomited until her stomach stopped aching.

As she rinsed her mouth, she studied her reflection. Her sclera were bloodshot, her eyelids swollen. Her skin, slightly tanned from the beach in Haibei City, now looked puffy and lifeless.

She rubbed her face, trying to restore some color—but it did no good.

Her mental sense swept the room—no one else was there. She stared hard at her reflection: Snap out of it! Be normal! Who are you trying to impress with this look? You’re the number one awakened. Everyone’s watching you. Every strand of your hair, every expression becomes a focal point! Be normal! If you don’t want to become an outcast!

The restroom was utterly silent. Water dripped from the tap that hadn’t been fully closed—plink, plink, plink—like taps on her heart. Jasmine and lemon air freshener lingered in the air—not unpleasant—but she still felt suffocated, as if oxygen levels were slowly draining.

She was standing, yet her body grew heavier, as if an invisible mountain pressed down, crushing her breath.

The figure in the mirror stared lifelessly back at her.

Suddenly, Yang Yi raised her right hand and slapped herself hard. Half her face instantly flushed red, regaining some color. Then she raised her left hand and slapped again, balancing the redness on both cheeks.

That was better.

She even smiled gently at the mirror.

‘Oh wow~~ Our T-Rex is returning to her beloved flock, pretending to be a gentle, adorable little lamb~~ Don’t be afraid of me, I’m kind and harmless~~ Look, I’ve even clipped my claws and plucked off my scales. I’ve wrapped myself in soft, white wool. I’m one of you. Let’s play together… Even though I’ve eaten over four thousand lambs, I didn’t mean to~~~’ It mimicked a childish voice, then burst into wild laughter: ‘Hahahaha… You look ridiculous—I’m going to die laughing!’

Yang Yi took a deep breath, ignored it, and walked straight out of the restroom.

‘Let’s see… when you’re starving, will you eat these sweet little lambs? When they discover your true nature… will they still see you as one of them? Hehe…’

There was still time before the afternoon meeting. She went straight to the lounge, found a secluded corner, sat down, and closed her eyes to rest. Everyone here, except her—an unexpected guest—was sharp-eyed, so no one disturbed her. Even the surrounding conversations lowered their volume.

Just as her mind drifted, half-asleep, her phone rang. Yang Yi jolted awake. Returning abruptly to reality, she felt disoriented. She frowned deeply, irritably pulling out her phone.

Oh, it’s Chris.

The moment the name appeared, memories of last night flooded her mind like a burst dam. A wave of indescribable shame spread through her body. She wanted to travel back to before it all happened and beat herself up—or delete yesterday like a corrupted video file and erase it forever.

Ashamed of her confession? No. Young girls falling for handsome men wasn’t wrong. She was ashamed she’d tried to use romance to escape reality—weak, stupid. It was the dumbest thought she’d ever had in her life—even though she’d quickly decided to face the unknown head-on.

She hated her own weakness most of all.

The ringing continued. Yang Yi wiped her face, sighed, and tapped reject.

Then she opened her message app and typed: ‘Sorry, I’m in a meeting.’

Ha. A meeting. What a perfect excuse.

So, how had she answered Chris last night? Now, recalling that moment, she still felt a pang of regret.

Perhaps it was an accident. A mistake. A foolish decision made in a moment of emotional turmoil!

Why had she said that?

She tried to recall the scene, to analyze her state of mind—but all she remembered was the cold, white glow of the LED ceiling lights and the pale blue dawn outside the window.

What had she said then?

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘From now on, you’re my boyfriend.’