Chapter 36: Suffocation

In the afternoon, Yang Yi went to the Institute for Exotic Organism Prevention and Control.

The institute was located even farther from the capital than before, housed within an extremely solemn building; before departing, she had informed Director Zeng Ceng Guosheng.

Liu Liu Siyuan drove Yang Yi there, undergoing three consecutive security checks at separate gates before finally reaching the reception area.

As soon as she stepped out of the car, before Yang Yi could speak, Deputy Director Wang Xinmin rushed forward, apologizing repeatedly: "Captain Yang, I'm truly sorry; these checks are all mandatory. We have to go through them several times a day just to get to work... It's mainly because the things researched inside are far too important."

Yang Yi found nothing wrong with the strict inspections; on the contrary, she felt slightly uncomfortable with Deputy Director Wang's apparent fear that she might take offense. She waved her hand, maintaining a calm expression on her face: "It's just standard procedure; I understand, I understand."

Having said that, she went straight to the point: "Director Zeng mentioned that the Fire Demon's corpse and that large blade are being studied here? What are the research results so far?"

It turned out that after resolving the Fire Demon incident, following "negotiations" with the Arcan Kingdom, the rights to conduct the first study of this giant blade were still granted to the Xia Kingdom, a outcome largely attributable to Yang Yi's efforts.

To investigate the exact relationship between the voice inside her body and the Evil God mentioned by Vede, she could only seek out either Vede or the Fire Demon. Since Vede's whereabouts were currently completely unknown, she had no choice but to start with the Fire Demon.

Filled with doubt and urgency, Yang Yi finally met with Director Zeng.

"This large blade should be called a field amplifier rather than a blade," he said. They stood beside the black giant blade, their bodies not even as long as its hilt.

Director Zeng was an academician holding multiple positions, serving as one of the principal leaders of several research projects at the Institute for Exotic Organism Prevention and Control; this time, he was leading the study of the Fire Demon's corpse.

Other experts in humanities, social sciences, and linguistics were jointly analyzing the inscriptions and engravings on the Fire Demon's armor, attempting to identify patterns and meanings within them, and thereby infer the level of civilization and environmental conditions of the world where the Fire Demon originated.

Due to the extremely small number of samples and the scarcity of reference data, this work was proceeding with extreme difficulty; the project's methodology relied almost entirely on speculation.

"A field amplifier?" A thought stirred in Yang Yi's mind. "Does that mean this blade also has an amplifying effect on an Awakened individual's control field?"

"Yes. Based on our analysis of the footage from your battle with the Fire Demon, when the Fire Demon was pushed to its limit, it tapped into its own potential and utilized the amplification effect of this blade." Director Zeng looked up at her closely, his eyes full of probing intent: "Although it ultimately proved useless."

Yang Yi maintained a polite smile, revealing nothing.

"Not only that, it can also purify dark matter energy and accelerate an Awakened individual's absorption and conversion of dark matter. If we can locate the source that produces this substance and obtain more of it, then our applications regarding dark matter—such as dark matter weapons, dark matter power sources, and aspects of both military and civilian life—could all see leapfrog advancements... Even our entire human technological civilization could take a giant step forward, making space colonization no longer a dream..." As Director Zeng spoke, he became increasingly excited; Yang Yi noticed the surrounding fellow researchers paying no attention to this, taking it for granted, suggesting such rhetoric was nothing new to them.

"The arrival of dark matter might be a disaster for ordinary people, but for us, for all of humanity, it is an opportunity! Do you understand? It could even trigger the Fourth Technological Revolution!

"Think about it: the First Technological Revolution was the invention and use of the steam engine, which made the Britannia Kingdom a world-class power;

"the Second Technological Revolution was the discovery and use of electricity, ushering the entire West into the capitalist era, while our Xia Kingdom fell completely behind, suffered beatings, and even nearly faced national extinction;

"The Third involved emerging technologies like computers, energy, new materials, space, and biology; although we have gone all out to catch up, we are only roughly on par with Western nations; but what about the Fourth?"

Director Zeng's eyes shone alarmingly bright. "It is dark matter! Whoever seizes this opportunity will become the new hegemon of Earth!"

He suddenly grabbed Yang Yi's shoulders: "Yang Yi, do you understand? We must be the first to find the Fire Demon's native world! We must be the first to obtain these new materials! This is too important for us! If you truly understand the significance of these new materials to us..."

His face flushed red, and the hand gripping Yang Yi's trembled; he wished he could directly pour the thoughts from his brain into hers so she would understand the significance of this matter.

Yang Yi slowly removed Director Zeng's hand and said with exceptional seriousness: "I understand. I will definitely do my best."

The reason Director Zeng spoke these words to her with such solemnity was perhaps because she had defeated the Fire Demon and had reached another world via the Mist Town; currently, with her capabilities, she was the person most likely to reach the Fire Demon's world and return safely.

Invisibly, she felt another Dashan pressing down on her shoulders, while her small wish grew increasingly remote; her back nearly hunched under the weight.

Next, she listened to a barrage of research regarding the Fire Demon and its world from various experts—or perhaps "speculation" would be a more appropriate term. The level of civilization of the Fire Demon species was not high, possibly only reaching that of a primitive tribal civilization; they possessed a unique language and culture, and they worshipped a god similar to an ancestor, believing this deity was the embodiment of their spirit and the source of their power...

Asathard, the God of the Fire Demons.

Yang Yi murmured silently.

The results of these experts' research shocked her; merely through the patterns and decorations on the Fire Demon's armor and the combat footage from that day, they had deduced so much information, even more than what she had inexplicably gained by understanding the Fire Demon's language.

Although this information contained no small amount of errors and some wild conjectures, it largely aligned with her own deductions.

Once again, she felt the power brought by scientific civilization and perceived the advantage of the collective.

Even though she possessed the strongest Awakened power in the world, in front of these knowledgeable scientists, professors, and researchers, she still felt her own insignificance and superficiality.

She had come with the intention of finding clues, yet she left with a heavy heart.

Outside the car window, traffic flowed endlessly; she once again raised the thought: Should she reveal the existence of that "Him" inside her body? Perhaps so many experts, scholars, and professors could solve this problem? And she suspected that His existence might be closely linked to the arrival of dark matter...

'Heh!' It sneered coldly. 'Why are you always so naive? If you truly believed in them, why didn't you say it out loud just now? What are you hesitating about?

'Because you know that once you speak it out, you will no longer be an individual, a free person, but an anomaly—just like those exotic organisms lying on operating tables being dissected, to be studied, dismembered, and turned into their materials and papers for understanding dark matter and the new world!

'Do you really think you have status and prestige? That they respect you? Are grateful to you? So they will help you? No! Once they discover aspects of you that differ from ordinary people, discover your weaknesses, discover your abnormality—think about it, you once ate over four thousand people, hahaha! They will fear you, they will dread you, and then they will think about how to eliminate you, how to destroy you; they will swarm over and tear you to pieces! Even if you once saved them!'

Yang Yi did not refute; she remained silent.

Its arrogance grew even more rampant: 'Why do you want to do things for them? Is this really what you want to do? Why bear responsibilities that don't belong to you at all? You know you don't like any of this. Oh~ what is your dream? To be a salted fish? Thinking of nothing, doing nothing? What a ridiculous self-consolation! Why do you want to go into the mountains to keep company with wild boars? Why do you always stay alone in a secret base? Why do you always hide in the sea?

'Admit it, you simply don't like people! Only when staying with unfeeling animals do you feel relaxed! Why not admit that you hate people! You want to leave them forever; you would rather live in seclusion, be a savage, be a vagrant, be a beast holed up in a cave!'

Yang Yi remained silent, but her breathing became heavy and coarse compared to before.

'You try every possible means to prove you are human; you go to school and work like an ordinary person, yet you never establish closer relationships with others; you even fall in love like an ordinary girl, but you are always ready to pull away at any moment; you have been pushed onto the high position of the number one Awakened individual, enjoying people's respect and bearing responsibilities never before seen; do you truly feel satisfied? Have these things given you any damn sense of mission other than adding a bit of pleasure to your vanity? Have you ever valued anything? Have you ever loved anything? Is there anyone around you who makes you feel this world is worth staying in? No! You only feel disgust; admit it, why be so dishonest even with yourself? When self-deception becomes a habit, do you even believe yourself to be human anymore?'

'Shut up!' Yang Yi said. 'I am of course human; I voluntarily took on so many responsibilities because I am a member of humanity, a member of the Xia Kingdom; if I can make my motherland more...'

'Stop spouting these grand but empty words; it's simply extremely hypocritical! A hypocrite, a coward, a coward who dares not admit the true thoughts within their own heart!'

Yang Yi fell silent; regardless of whether it incited, instigated, tempted, scolded, or insulted, she remained silent.

Returning to the office, her mood still had not lightened, and some of it showed on her face.

"What's wrong? Did it not go smoothly?" Feng Liancheng asked. "I heard the research results over there were quite abundant."

"They were quite abundant," Yang Yi replied perfunctorily.

"By the way, we depart tonight to attend a meeting at the United Nations tomorrow. After Daniel Davis and Jane York returned to the United Nations, they reported the events of the Mist Town incident, causing a huge uproar; this might be humanity's first formal contact with an extraterrestrial civilization, and moreover, a hostile one; the United Nations attaches great importance to it..." Feng Liancheng added.

The United Nations? The Arcan Kingdom?

Feng Liancheng's voice gradually faded from her ears; the first person Yang Yi thought of was actually Chris; this time, she might encounter him again.

Like encountering a ray of sunlight amidst heavy, gloomy weather, she felt a little lighter.

That evening, as usual, she intended to go to the cafeteria to get a meal to take back and "eat," but Feng Liancheng stopped her: "Come on, let's eat together!"

"Look, you've been here for so long, yet you're always alone; don't always be so aloof; occasionally, try being a bit more approachable!" Feng Liancheng persuaded with a smile.

Yang Yi paused for a moment, then smiled: "Alright!"

Holding her food tray, she served herself some white porridge, braised pork, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and a leafy green vegetable; the cafeteria auntie recognized her and was extremely enthusiastic, serving her larger portions than others; she could only accept with a smile and follow Feng Liancheng to find a seat.

"Yang Yi, Liancheng! Over here!" Wei Chang'an waved to them from not far away; Chen Chen Yushu was sitting beside him.

"The United Nations is holding a meeting tomorrow; were you notified to attend?" Feng Liancheng asked as he sat down.

Wei Chang'an and Chen Chen Yushu nodded: "We originally planned to go support our comrades in the Fujian branch; their abnormal creature activity has been rampant lately, and we heard several new types of abnormal creatures have appeared..."

"I'll go too!" Yang Yi said.

She swallowed the sour, sweet, salty, and fishy rotting tomatoes and stinky eggs in her mouth, then stuffed another piece of greasy, foul-smelling braised pork into her mouth. She felt her entire mouth filled with a heavy, decaying death qi. Unhurriedly, she drank a mouthful of thick, moldy white porridge to wash it down.

Her stomach began to cramp again, but her expression remained as usual, even overly calm.

How to prove one is a normal person? Naturally, by doing normal things.

Eat normally, live normally, work normally; indeed, not even that was enough. She also had to do things beneficial to the public, proving she was a person with conscience, correct cognition, a responsible person, a trustworthy person! In this way, even if she exposed some of her own problems, others would speak up for her and find reasons for her.

A person who sits upright and whose actions benefit the public, even if not well-liked, would never be considered abnormal.

Very good, this strategy is not bad, Yang Yi thought.

It let out a cold sneer, but Yang Yi ignored it.

"That's wonderful; with you here, it will be absolutely foolproof!" Wei Chang'an happily clapped his hands, then pushed Chen Chen Yushu.

Chen Chen Yushu said nothing, merely nodding.

Back in the dormitory, she went to the bathroom as usual to empty her stomach of food, brushed her teeth, washed her face, leaned half-reclined on the sofa, turned on the television, and made the empty living room feel less silent.

Too many things had happened during this period; working non-stop, one thing after another, overwhelming the eyes, leaving almost no time for her to settle down and think.

She felt increasingly lonely.

Before, after finishing her daily work, she could go to the seaside secret base, cruise underwater, to dispel this unresolvable loneliness and depression. Since coming to Kyoto, she could only be trapped in this two-bedroom, one-living-room apartment, her thoughts trapped as well.

She tried hard to integrate into the circle of colleagues, yet there was always a layer separating them.

This layer was not erected by others; if she wanted, almost anyone would welcome her joining, but no, whether due to her own psychological reasons or the changes forced upon her after absorbing the Life Source, she felt increasingly out of place among the surrounding people.

It was like being locked inside a glass bottle with the cap screwed tight; light was everywhere, yet she felt only suffocation.