Chapter 83: Tranquility

When Yang Yi was still in the sky, she had imagined what his "letting you know how intense my longing is through action" would look like, but...

She was held tightly in Chris's arms, almost unable to breathe—fortunately, not breathing for a long time posed no problem for her now—she was a full head shorter than him; he was so tall, a full 188, reaching only to her chin, so when embraced, she had to bury her face in his pectoral muscles, her entire mind going blank.

Her nose was filled with the citrus scent of a fresh shower—he was still so considerate; this feeling of having her preferences catered to delighted Yang Yi immensely, her heart beating so fast it seemed ready to burst from her throat, and her blood boiling throughout her body, hotter than lava.

Joy, pleasure, and excitement mixed together, surging through her heart like a torrent; she couldn't help but wrap her arms around his waist—ah, compared to those broad, sturdy shoulders, his waist was even more lean and powerful...

Suddenly, an absurd thought intruded at an inappropriate moment: If Zhang Zhang Ningning could be held like this by him, she would probably faint from excitement...

Damn, what am I thinking? Shouldn't I be enjoying this moment properly?

But her mind felt as if it didn't belong to her, completely beyond her control; chaotic thoughts and images forcibly inserted themselves: the altar, the secret base, corpses, oleander, the Fire Demon, the sea, the mound, the ranch... they kept switching, like an obsession.

Oh, intrusive thoughts. She thought coldly.

At this moment, the emotions that should have been in charge suddenly retreated to the background, while reason, which should not have been present, took control of her thoughts.

Her hand holding Chris's waist loosened; she calmly analyzed herself in her mind: these uncontrollable intrusive thoughts were meant to pull me out of this moment of pleasant emotion; my subconscious believes I am unworthy, unqualified to enjoy happiness and pleasure.

The subconscious is trying to save itself, because past experiences tell it that whenever something happy happens, disaster and pain inevitably follow; so to avoid the coming pain, it simply refuses happiness...

But at the same time, it also deprives her of pleasant emotions, robbing her of the ability to be happy.

It is like a black dog that has always followed her, biting and holding on whenever it gets the chance, constantly hiding in the dark shadows around; when her emotions rise, when there is something worth being happy about, it suddenly jumps out and bites her.

Thus, through day after day, year after year of self-suppression, she seemed to have completely lost the ability to be happy.

"Yang Yi..." Chris released her, calling her name in a low voice; these two words were pronounced perfectly yet tender and lingering, as if practiced thousands upon thousands of times in his heart and on his tongue. His right hand slowly stroked her face, as if touching the most precious treasure in the world.

Yang Yi just came to her senses, only to sink again into those charming blue oceans.

His voice gradually grew hoarse, "Mayi?" He leaned closer and closer to her, his deep azure eyes gazing at her, like a silent question.

Yang Yi's face instantly turned red; she fell once again into the same dilemma as on the terrace: Should I close my eyes or not...

But the blush on her cheeks was already a silent consent; at the moment Chris kissed her lips, she finally chose to close her eyes.

In an instant, fireworks exploded in the night sky, flowers of all four seasons bloomed simultaneously, the ice of harsh winter melted in the warmth, grass sprouted in the spring rain, a beam of sunlight pierced through the dense forest into a dark clearing, lightning split through layers of dark clouds...

She felt dizzy as if dreaming, no, even more dizzying than a dream.

Before things went too far, Chris used the greatest self-control of his life to let her go. He had never realized that simply pulling his lips away from hers was so difficult.

Yang Yi's lips were red, her eyes hazy as she gazed at him.

Chris felt hot all over; he felt he needed a cold shower to cool down.

Now is not the right time; the timing is wrong; if things go too far, she won't like it... While convincing himself, he took her hand and kissed her knuckles with deep care, "Last time I promised to take you to see my current home; are you still interested?"

"Of course," Yang Yi said dazedly.

Having toured most of the mansion while holding his hand, she could only say, "This is damn luxurious!"

Just the huge cinema, the audio-visual effects, the holographic projections, the comfortable massage chairs, the leather sofa that could roll several times, the bar lined with a dazzling array of liquors—left her awestruck, let alone everything else.

And outside, that vast lawn, the forest halfway up the mountain, and an entire lake.

They walked and looked; Chris introduced the scenery while telling her what interesting things had happened there.

His life was truly rich and interesting, just like him.

It was noon, the sun hung high, and the air grew warm; together, they sat on the ground under the lakeside shade, leaning against a large tree.

Chris lifted a bucket of ice containing several bottles of drinks and beer, handing her one.

Yang Yi took it and tasted; it was sweet sparkling wine, very low in alcohol. Although she could no longer taste the deliciousness of human food now, she did not refuse; she did not want to detach herself from human life.

Chris opened a can of iced beer and drank half of it in one gulp, sitting beside her.

They smiled at each other; at this moment, neither spoke, yet there was a tacit understanding as if everything was said without words.

Leaning against a tree so thick two people could not encircle it, they quietly enjoyed this moment of tranquility.

Yang Yi casually plucked a blade of grass, suddenly remembering something; she smiled and said to Chris, "Have you ever eaten the tender shoots of thatch grass? We call them 'mao jian'er' where I'm from; before they grow out, they are sweet; chew them a bit longer, and the texture is like chewing gum, but you can't blow bubbles. When I was little, on the way home from school, I would search all the ditches for this treat to eat... ah, unfortunately, it's not spring now; this is a snack unique to spring..."

Her nostalgic smile made Chris's heart ache; he felt sorrow for her, heartbroken over her dark childhood.

Finally, Chris gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders, letting her lean half against his chest, as if he were holding her.

"When spring comes, let's go pick them together, okay?" he said softly.

Since the past cannot be changed, let's rebuild impressions of some unpleasant memories; when recalled again, they will become happy memories, he thought.

"Okay."

The lake water rippled slightly; Yang Yi leaned half against Chris's chest, her heart extremely calm.

Being with him, she felt a sense of security unlike anything before.

The warm wind became cool under the tree shade, brushing her face comfortably; occasionally, a fish leaped from the shimmering lake surface.

Yang Yi felt this scene seemed familiar; suddenly, she remembered where this sense of déjà vu came from—it was a dream; the day of her first date with Chris, but she was late; the reason for being late was that she had fallen asleep and had a dream.

In the dream, she stood in a small stream; around her were birds chirping and insects buzzing; the cool water washed over her ankles; little fish kissed her feet.

The dream was just as tranquil.