Chapter 210

Hallucinogens are listed as a Class I prohibited item by the Federation.

But the earliest ingredients of hallucinogens were used in medicine to soothe rampaging beastmen. Therefore, doctors like Kai can obtain small amounts after reporting it.

It was he who gave Ka'er the hallucinogen, and this is the thing he regrets most in his life, bar none.

At first, Ka'er just drank alcohol, getting dead drunk every day until he was unconscious, waking up in various places the next day, and then repeating the previous day's steps: drinking, fighting, being dead drunk, abusing the blocking medicine, sleeping on the roadside, waking up, drinking, fighting... He had been detained three times for disturbing the peace, and every time, it was Kai who went to the Federal Prison to bail him out.

Because Ka'er used to be a Scavenger, some friends or descendants of those he had assassinated learned of his whereabouts and took advantage of his drunkenness to tail him, stabbing him four or five times from behind. There was another time they almost cut off his hand directly.

Yet Ka'er didn't fight back at all; he lay on the ground laughing loudly, laughing until the other party was creeped out, laughing until his face was covered in tears.

If it weren't for Kai arriving in time every time, Ka'er would probably have died as he wished long ago.

Once, Kai was very angry, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up, questioning him why he lived like a pile of mud. Ka'er smiled even more miserably than he cried.

"Because I died long ago," Ka'er said.

Kai understood the meaning in his words.

The person he loved dearly died, and he himself died along with her on that day. What was living was only his physical body.

Ka'er wouldn't try to commit suicide like Sikesaisi, because he couldn't bear to; he was always fantasizing: what if, what if I died first, but she woke up? Wouldn't that be a loss?

So he didn't have the courage to commit suicide.

But in the long days without her, he couldn't live a single day.

Kai knew his personality; if he continued to let him go like this, he would really end up killing himself.

So for the first time, through non-medical means, he injected someone with the medical version of a hallucinogen. The original intention was to soothe Ka'er's nerves.

After the injection, Ka'er did indeed get better; he stopped drinking and would even spend time dressing himself up so he didn't look so disheveled. He would sit from dawn until dusk holding a bouquet of flowers; no one knew what he was waiting for.

Kai thought this was all part of his recovery process.

But he was wrong.

The side effect of hallucinogens is addiction, and it is accompanied by hallucinations, producing a series of physiological symptoms. Patients initially feel that those hallucinations are very real, but after waking up, they regain cognition and clearly know it is a hallucination. Only extremely miserable people will rely on hallucinations, and even if they clearly know it is a hallucination in the later stages, they cannot extricate themselves.

Although Kai very cautiously used a very small dosage on him, Ka'er still developed hallucinations.

He embraced that soft, thin body again, the fragrance of lily of the valley surrounding him, her hair brushing against his cheek, and she smiled and said to him: "Ka'er, if you continue like this, I won't pay attention to you anymore."

Ka'er nervously hugged her tightly and wouldn't let go, "Don't go, I won't make you angry anymore, don't go."

"Sui Sui, I miss you so much..."

"You promised me, to have a home with me, don't leave me alone..."

"Why are your hands so cold? Why won't you look at me?"

"Will you look at me, please?"

"Will you take me with you, please?"

Ka'er woke up from the bed crying, his pillow already completely wet. The hallucinogen was gradually metabolized in his body and began to lose effect.

He stared blankly at the mirror in the ward, seeing his stubble and sallow, dark complexion, and hurriedly got out of bed.

"I can't go see her like this, she will have a change of heart..."

Ka'er meticulously groomed himself for the first time in a long while, put on brand-new clothes, went to buy her favorite bouquet, and then lay on the bed, closing his eyes in preparation to see her again.

But this time, he couldn't fall asleep for a long time.

He went out and ran another twenty laps, returned drenched in sweat, lay back on the bed again, holding the bouquet in his hand, a smile appearing at the corners of his mouth.

Ten minutes passed, an hour passed, three hours passed... Ka'er still found it difficult to fall asleep.

He coaxed himself, muttering to himself: "Sleep, she is waiting for you in your dreams, she is going to take you away, hurry and sleep."

Finally, through countless methods, Ka'er finally entered a light sleep, but this time, he didn't see the person he wanted to see.

After waking up, he sat in front of the window holding the bouquet, motionless. The sun rose and set, until the moon spilled over his shoulders, and only then did he slowly get up, sneaking into the pharmacy in the dead of night and taking all of Kai's hallucinogens.

He used the blocking medicine to come to the small building, in that room where he had once lived, took off his shirt, and injected himself with a dose of hallucinogen.

Ka'er hung his head, waiting for something. A few seconds later, he heard footsteps coming from the doorway. Immediately after, a small head poked in from the doorway, a timid expression on her face. Seeing him, she asked in surprise: "You... are you okay?"

"You wait, I'll go find tools to help you."

Ka'er stared blankly at her, a sense of familiarity surged in his throat, and his eye rims turned red suddenly.

The exact same scene, the exact same demeanor; this was the first time he came to her inn, the words she said when she saw him cleaning his wounds.

Ka'er smiled, a tear sliding down instantly. He looked at her, repeating the words from the past, only the tone was filled with incomparably nostalgic tenderness.

"No need."

"You come over."

He watched 'Qiao Suisui' walk over, threw away the syringe in his hand, and hugged her.

"You... how did you..."

"How did I what?"

Ka'er repeated the conversation with her, his face already covered in tears, but he still pretended to be relaxed and choked out: "Never seen it? I thought you were Sikesaisi's female... at least you've seen this kind of small scene... after all, this little drizzle of mine is really... a drop in the bucket compared to the wounds he's suffered."

Next, it should have been her being teased by him to the point of nausea, but unexpectedly, the 'Qiao Suisui' in the hallucination reached out and hugged him back.

Ka'er's tears gushed out, unable to be suppressed any longer.

He held her and broke down crying.

"Why did you leave me behind, why didn't you take me with you..."

"You are so mean to me..."

"Let me go with you, I can't wait any longer..."

"I beg you, take me with you..."

The scene distorted, Ka'er opened his eyes abruptly, the tear stains on his face not yet dry.

He looked around in a daze, discovering that he was still in the room in the small building, only there was no one around, and the room hadn't been cleaned for a long time, covered in a thick layer of dust.

Ka'er wiped the tears from his face and injected himself with another dose, expressionless.

In the hallucination, footsteps came from the doorway once again.

The small head poking out, the timid expression, the petite figure.

"You... are you okay?"

"You wait, I'll go find tools to help you."

Ka'er called her to stop calmly, saying gently: "No need. You come over."

Once, and again, and again.

Syringes all over the floor.

Ka'er constantly repeated the hallucination while awake, and then sank into the hallucination while awake.

"You... are you okay?"

"... I miss you so much."

"You wait, I'll go find tools to help you."

"I really miss you so much..."

(End of chapter)