Dog-licking Thanos, massacring the Marvel Universe!

Avengers base.

Thanos was sitting on the lawn at the door, holding the donuts, happy water and chicken rolls he had just ordered.

Since coming to Earth, he is no longer obsessed with exterminating half of all life in the universe. His mentality has become much calmer, and he has gradually become accustomed to life on Earth and slowly integrated into it.

Coupled with his excellent cognition and wisdom, he now serves as a strategist among the Avengers. He puts forward some valuable opinions when appropriate and is respected by the captain, Natasha, Rhodes and others.

Today, Thanos' peaceful state of mind is gone.

While he was eating donuts, a cute little black spider suddenly appeared on his shoulder. The spider crawled slowly on his body.

"Ah!"

Seeing the little spider, Thanos, as a macho man, subconsciously screamed and stood up.

The little spider fell to the ground and was trampled mercilessly by Thanos, turning him into a pile of Momo.

Seeing this, Thanos breathed a sigh of relief and slowly wiped the cold sweat from his head.

"Hahaha!"

"Sure enough, Thanos is afraid of little spiders!"

A laugh that sounded like schadenfreude came, and Deadpool walked out of the Avengers Hall, and he was playing with a bunch of little spiders in his hands.

"It's you who did it."

Thanos looked at Deadpool with a gloomy expression. I don’t know why, but it was obviously the first time they met, but he was so dissatisfied with Deadpool.The waiter felt very disgusted and disgusted, as if he had encountered a nemesis.

"You're kidding, Thanos. I didn't expect you to be so sensitive to little spiders." Deadpool said, waving his hand and swatting the spider to death.

"I hate bedbugs," Thanos said.

"I understand, I understand. I hate spiders too. You don't know, they are so talkative." Deadpool complained.

"You're just as annoying as a bed bug." Thanos said with a mocking look on his face, looking down on Deadpool in front of him.

"Are you in a hurry?"

"You purple-skinned monster, isn't it a personal attack?"

Deadpool was angry. He didn't expect Thanos to join the Avengers. After all, this was a villain who destroyed half of all life in the universe with a snap of his fingers, and he was also the Avengers' old enemy.

Since such people can join the Avengers, why can't I?

To be honest, he was very envious.

I originally wanted to say hello, but he is Deadpool, a peace-loving and kind-hearted superhero, so he naturally doesn’t take the usual path, so he caught a few spiders to tease Thanos.

"If you had talked to me like this a few months ago, I would have screwed your head into your butt. Believe me, I do what I say. Now, I am too lazy to care about you."

Thanos's murderous intention and violence disappeared a lot, and he sat down again, tasting donuts, chicken rolls, and sipping ice-cold happy water.

"I believe you are called Thanos. But I'm curious, how did you join the Avengers? That's not the case in the script. Didn't you want to wipe out half of all life in the universe? Did you just give up?"

Deadpool took the initiative to come over, wanting to be next to Thanos.

But the next second, Thanos's double-edged machete was inserted between the two of them, the edge of the knife was sharp and the cold air was overwhelming.

Deadpool believes that if he takes one step forward, he will be torn into pieces by Thanos.

Although he won't die, it will be very painful if he is really cut into pieces.

Thanos ate chicken rolls and said to himself, "A few months ago, I commanded the Chitauri army to invade the earth. Suddenly two women ran to my spaceship and beat me up. They woke me up immediately."

Upon hearing this, Deadpool became even more curious and asked: "Please, you are Thanos, the strongest man in the universe? What woman can beat you? Could it be Captain Marvel?"

"No, it's Supergirl!" Thanos replied.

"Wait? Supergirl? Superwoman? The one with the S mark on her chest?" Deadpool said, greatly shocked.

"Yes, you know him too?" Thanos asked.

"Of course I do, that's Superman's cousin, a superhero from the next universe." Deadpool replied.

He suddenly felt that the world was turned upside down. Which editor thought of this plot and actually let Supergirl run to the Marvel Universe and beat up Thanos.

If you think about it carefully, Thanos at that time did not have the Infinity Gauntlet, the Infinity Stones, or the Tesseract, so he really couldn't defeat Supergirl.

The Cosmic Cube is not the Cosmic Rubik's Cube. It is also a cosmic-level artifact that can control energy and modify reality. It is not weaker than a single Infinity Stone, and even has more comprehensive capabilities. It is one of the exclusive weapons of Thanos in the comic universe.

"But just after being beaten, you changed your mind? Thanos, your will is not strong." Deadpool continued.

Thanos took a deep bite of the chicken roll, glanced at Deadpool with disdain, and said angrily, "If I don't agree, Supergirl will keep beating me. If you haven't been beaten by Supergirl, you don't know how hard her fist is.

If Supergirl is really angry, she can blow up a planet with one punch.

What can I do to resist!

And in the future, I got four Infinity Stones and the Infinity Gauntlet, but I wasn’t surrounded and beaten to death by Luo Xiu and Supergirl! "

"Hahaha, you were beaten by Luo Xiu. I remember that although Luo Xiu was powerful, he was not that powerful." Deadpool felt incredible.

In his world, although Luo Xiu fought against the entire world by himself and even attacked the Pentagon, it was still a movie universe after all, and many big names did not show up or did not exist at all.

And this is the main Marvel universe, where there are all kinds of existences. Invincibility on earth and invincibility in the universe are two different concepts, and they still have to deal with the four-gem Thanos.

"..." Thanos.

"Later I figured it out, even if half of all life is eliminated, nothing will change. Sooner or later, the universe will self-destruct due to the continuous growth of life and the rapid consumption of resources.

I’m not the God of the universe, why should I care about these things? " Thanos explained.

Deadpool now has the ability to break the fourth wall, knows many comic versions, and even knows that he is a comic character. He joked, "Thanos, you destroyed half of the life in the universe, didn't you do it to please the goddess of creation, the goddess of death? You licking dog."

"..."

Thanos was silenced again. He did admire the goddess of death, but what does this have to do with wiping out half of the life in the universe? He said, "How can the goddess of death exist? How can I meet such a creation god?"

"That's right. This kind of creator god is incomprehensible and so powerful." Deadpool deeply agreed.

While the two were talking, a black Audi sports car sped towards the runway of the Avengers Base. The dusty sky filled with foreign air, roaring and thundering in the clear sky, got closer and closer.

"What a cool sports car. If I had one, I would have reached the pinnacle of my life." Deadpool stared at the sports car in front of him as if he was drooling, rubbing his hands and greedily breathing in the smell of engine oil that filled the air. This is the smell of money, so simple and natural.

Luo Xiu, Tony, NatashaGot out of the car.

Seeing Deadpool at the door, Tony took off his sunglasses and said, "Thanos, who is this weirdo? He is actually wearing such a sexy tights."

"You're stupid for applying for the Avengers job..." Thanos picked up the newly opened donut and started chewing it.

"Tony Stark, Agent Natasha, nice to meet you! My name is Wade. Of course, you can also call me Deadpool. From now on, we will all be colleagues. Please give me your advice. I will definitely complete the tasks assigned by the boss."

Deadpool said excitedly, these are all idols.

Then he saw Luo Xiu behind the two of them, and his glance was like a thousand-year glance.

"Luo Xiu, dear Luo Xiu, my dear best friend! It's really you, my God! This is so cool!"

When he saw his relatives in a strange universe, Deadpool's joy was beyond words, and he rushed towards him to give him a hug that represented warm friendship.

As always, Luo Xiu avoided it, mainly because he disliked that Deadpool might be sticky and had an indescribable strange smell.

Deadpool was very sad and felt abandoned.

Luo Xiu didn't expect that it was really Wade. According to Deadpool's current state, he might have almost completed his script, otherwise it would be impossible to travel here?

"Wade, why did you get here?" Luo Xiu asked.

"Hey, it's a long story." Deadpool calmed down and started his dramatic performance.

"I should have listened to your advice and gone to the hospital to check my physical condition earlier. That way, I would have known that I had cancer in advance and had enough time to receive treatment, instead of not knowing my condition until the late stage.

When I was desperate, I participated in a human modification experiment conducted by a black-hearted technology company..."

"Later, I gained Uncle Wolf's self-healing ability, but I was also disfigured and lost my handsome appearance."

With that said, Deadpool took off his hood, revealing a piece of waste paper that looked as miserable as the one the Creator used to go to the toilet?

The face was covered with pimples where cancer cells had proliferated, and there was no hair on the head, piled together like tumors.

"Pathetic guy." Thanos couldn't help but say when he saw it.

I thought I was weird enough, but I didn’t expect Deadpool to be even uglier.

As a Titan, he is named Titan.

In fact, the appearance is similar to that of humans, not very tall, and has purple skin.

Thanos is a mutant of their race who was abandoned by his parents from birth and treated as a monster.

On the contrary, Thanos' younger brother is the most handsome man in the universe, with unparalleled charm.

"Tsk..." Tony shook his head.

Natasha covered her eyes. Deadpool's face seemed to be enchanted, and she would have nightmares when she saw it at night.

"After taking revenge on the Black Heart Corporation, I determined to be a superhero, so I joined the X-Men.

Unfortunately, I can't fit in. Because I always accidentally kill the target.

You know, the X-Men guys basically treat bad guys on a no-kill principle and leave them to the police.

So, I quit. "

Deadpool sighed and continued, "I am married to Vanessa. Although I, as a superhero, carry out what I think is justice, I am not understood.

Besides, I don’t know how much money rice, oil and salt cost. I also have to live. Treating cancer has consumed all my savings.

With no money and no guarantee of life, Vanessa and I had a fight.

She made me give up my superhero fantasies and return to my family.

But I didn’t want to give up, and finally wanted to try again, so I came to the Avengers. "

"Why do you have to come to the Avengers? You can join the X-Men again? And it's not in the same universe? You don't know if you are here, will you destroy the timeline?" Luo Xiu complained.

"There are X-Men there who don't need me. The sacred timeline is different. Luo Xiu, you don't know that in addition to self-healing, I can also break through reality and interact with the audience and even the editor in front of the script.

From them, I learned that Marvel is about to decline, and that Iron Man, Natasha and these first-generation Avengers will die.

And my existence will save Marvel and make the Avengers greater! Hahaha! "

As he said this, an extremely vulgar and arrogant smile appeared on Deadpool's face.

"?? Wait, you said I'm dead?" Tony didn't pay attention to anything else and heard this sentence.

"Am I dead too?" Natasha said

"..." Luo Xiu.

"Can you tell me how I died?" Tony asked curiously.

In this regard, Deadpool did not hesitate and replied, "In Infinity War, you snatched Thanos's Infinity Gauntlet, snapped your fingers in advance, destroyed Thanos and his army, and wiped out Thanos. And you couldn't bear the backlash of the Infinity Stones. It was really admirable that you fell."

"..." Thanos felt speechless. This had something to do with him again.

Always say that he holds the Infinity Gauntlet and the Infinity Stones?

Where does he have the Infinity Stones now?

"But isn't Thanos an Avenger now?" Natasha said.

"Yes, Thanos is now an Avenger? How could he destroy the earth?" Deadpool suddenly reacted.

"That's just a possibility in the multiverse. Every possibility and choice will give birth to a new branch of time, a brand new universe. But it may not necessarily happen, and even if it happens, it won't be here." Luo Xiu said.

"Why? What if Thanos betrays him in the future? This purple-skinned evildoer is very scheming!" Deadpool complained.

"...Fuck you, you Bichi. I have my own pride.Proud! " Thanos cursed.

"At this point in time, the Cosmic Cube with six Infinity Stones has been taken to the unknown space by Loki, so the six Infinity Stones cannot be assembled before Loki appears again. Luo Xiu said.

"The editor must have changed the script overnight. "

In this regard, Deadpool complained in his heart.

Everything that happens here is completely different from what I saw in the comics.

"Then can I join the Avengers? Luo Xiu! "Deadpool has an expectant look in his eyes, pretending to be cute, which makes people unable to bear to look at him.

"I'm not an Avenger, there's no point asking me. Luo Xiu said.

To be honest, he doesn't want Deadpool to stay here.

Because there are too many variables, the timeline is even greater, and Deadpool’s mood is not very stable.

He remembered that there was a version where Deadpool slaughtered the Marvel Universe. This guy was also ruthless when he stood up to him.

"Dr. Luo Xiu. "

The captain walked from the Avengers Hall at this time, with a strong look of gratitude in his eyes.

Tony's parental problem has been resolved, and the Hydra brainwashing control of Bucky's brain has been released, and the conflict between Bucky and Tony is gone.

Therefore, a possible fight between him and Tony disappeared, and Bucky also returned to him.

"Steve, you're in good spirits. Luo Xiu said with a smile.

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Luo Xiu. "A bright smile appeared on the captain's face.

When Deadpool saw this scene, he felt isolated and silently squatted on the ground and drew a circle to curse everyone.

……