Chapter 134

The office was in chaos.

Dean Qu was still crying, and was so frightened by Qin Huai's pushing the door and entering that her tears dried up. She was in a flurry, wanting to put gloves on Qu Jing. Just after picking up the gloves, she felt that the urgent matter was to roll down the sleeves.

In a hurry, she used too much force and pressed on the gauze on Qu Jing's hand, hurting Qu Jing so much that her hand shrank. Dean Qu was so frightened that she let go hurriedly.

After a series of operations, Dean Qu finally held the colorful wool gloves that were knitted halfway, stood forward, and tried to block Qu Jing behind her.

Unlike Dean Qu, who was in a hurry to do this and that, wishing she had 8 hands for a while, and wishing she was 2 meters 2 tall and weighed 280 pounds for a while, trying to block Qu Jing behind her like a wall, Qu Jing had no reaction.

The moment Qin Huai came in, she subconsciously shrank her hand behind her back. Finding that Qin Huai's gaze had already fallen on her and couldn't be covered, she resignedly lowered her head and took her hand back.

And Qin Huai performed the best acting of his life.

Qin Huai pretended to be someone who had really come in to find Dean Qu and entered by mistake. He first looked slightly shocked, but hid it well without showing an overly surprised expression when looking at Qu Jing's arm, then quickly moved his gaze away, pretending that nothing had happened, calmly waiting for Dean Qu to finish the set of actions just now, and spoke slowly.

"Dean Qu, the materials over there are all ready, just waiting for the children to come over to wrap steamed buns together. I came to find you and take the documents by the way."

Every word Qin Huai said was dragged very long, sounding like a cautious statement after careful consideration.

Seeing that Qin Huai was willing to play dumb, Dean Qu let out a long breath, looked at Qu Jing with some worry, and hesitated for a few seconds, as if she had made some kind of determination.

"I'll go call the children. I'll give you the documents when you leave, Xiao Qin, so as not to get the document bag dirty."

"Jingjing... help me greet Xiao Qin, go... go... go pour him a cup of tea... no, it's... it's... it's, I'll go call someone, you help greet him."

Then Dean Qu left.

She walked with wind under her feet and didn't look back, as if she was afraid that if she hesitated for a second, she wouldn't be able to walk out of this office.

Only Qu Jing and Qin Huai were left in the office.

Qin Huai knew that it was time to test the favorability.

He believed that Qu Jing's date paste and yam cakes, and Chen Pi tea during this time hadn't been eaten in vain, and the chats with the grandpas hadn't been chatted in vain.

Qu Jing didn't speak, nor did she cover her arms. The two stood quietly in the office, and the air was silent, a deathly silence.

"Are you coming to the canteen tomorrow?" Qin Huai took the initiative to ask, "I'm making date paste and yam-flavored glutinous rice cake, but you might have to come later. Wait for me to go back and make the cake; tomorrow's cake is estimated to be eaten around eight or nine o'clock in the morning."

"And I will most likely not be able to get up tomorrow morning and will go to work later."

Qu Jing looked up, wanting to see if Qin Huai was pretending to be calm and changing the subject or if he was really relaxed. She looked at Qin Huai's expression for a full minute or two, and asked with trembling lips:

"Don't you think it's scary?"

"Quite scary." Qin Huai nodded.

Qu Jing finally let out a sigh of relief, bit her lip, making her already bloodless lips even paler.

"I don't have an ultraviolet allergy at all."

Qin Huai said: "I can guess it, and I guessed it long ago."

Qu Jing poured a glass of water for Qin Huai, signaled Qin Huai to sit down, slowly took off the gloves on the other hand, and rolled up her sleeves to expose her skin.

The same hands covered with scars, new scars overlapping old scars.

"I've been like this since I was very young." Qu Jing said, "I don't remember which day it was specifically. I just remember that one time in elementary school, I didn't get a full score on a math test. I was very angry, very sad, and hated myself very much."

"I don't know why I was so sad. I didn't sleep that night, secretly ran to the kitchen, took a knife and cut a deep wound on my arm, and blood flowed all over the floor."

"By the time I realized what I had done, I had already lost a lot of blood. While I was wiping the blood on the floor, the blood on my hand was dripping down. Knowing I couldn't hide it, I went to find Dean Qu."

"She took me to a small clinic to bandage the wound and bought me candy to make me happy, but it was useless. Since then, when my grades weren't ideal, when I couldn't finish my homework, or when I felt I couldn't learn when studying, I would think of the feeling of the knife piercing my arm that day."

"It was very painful, but the pain made me sober, made me happy, and made me calm." "I started to get out of control. I couldn't control myself. Many times I felt that I had no consciousness when holding the knife. By the time I realized what I had done, my hands were already full of blood."

"At first, Dean Qu took me to a small clinic, but later she didn't dare to take me to the clinic. She bought a first-aid kit herself and learned how to bandage."

"She didn't understand what mental illness was. She thought I was bullied at school. She bought me candy, cake, dolls, and new clothes. She knitted many gloves for me, bought many long sleeves, and helped me cover the scars on my body. She called the teacher to lie and tell the teacher that I couldn't be exposed to the sun and didn't need to take physical education classes."

"But it was still seen by others. Once after class, my gloves weren't worn well, and a classmate saw the scars on my hands, which gave him a fright. The teacher found out and thought I was abused in the welfare academy, so they called the police."

"By that time I was already in middle school. The police told Dean Qu that I might have psychological problems, so Dean Qu took me to see a psychiatrist."

"Was it useful?" Qin Huai asked.

Qu Jing shook her head: "Prescribed medicine, a lot of medicine every day, but I still couldn't control myself."

"I don't know why. I can't explain it clearly. In middle school, classmates said I was a monster, and later I transferred schools."

Qu Jing looked at the scars on her hands: "I am very happy that you, Qin Huai... and Sister Hong, and Mr. Luo care about me so much and are willing to be friends with me. During this time, my emotions have been very stable, and I haven't self-harmed for a long time."

"I thought I was better."

"But a few days ago, when I was in the clinic, I saw a patient with Alzheimer's disease. His condition was already very serious. His granddaughter was clearly in college, but in his memory, his granddaughter was still a middle school student, and he called his son every day to ask him to pick up his granddaughter from school."

"He wasn't treated in our hospital before. It was his son who felt the patient was too annoying and specifically made an appointment for my clinic, asking me if there was any way to make his father better."

"I was powerless."

"After going back that night, I was very irritable. I looked at the thesis literature on the computer and couldn't read a single word. I hated my incompetence, hated my uselessness, hated that I was clearly majoring in this direction but I couldn't cure any patient, only control the development of the disease."

"By the time I started to feel a little better, my arm had become like this again."

Qu Jing looked at Qin Huai: "Maybe my classmate was right; I am a monster."

Qin Huai could only be silent; he didn't know what to say.

What could he say? He knew that the reason Qu Jing did this might be because of her obsession.

She didn't remember the reason for doing this after the previous memories were forgotten, but her body and consciousness, or the instinct of a spirit to save itself, used this way to remind herself to save herself.

But as Chen Huihong said, the bystander is clear, even if he said so, Qu Jing wouldn't believe it.

Qin Huai picked up the gloves on the table and handed them to Qu Jing.

"Go wrap the steamed buns; the children in the welfare academy should all be working, and we two can't be lazy."

Qu Jing squeezed out a smile: "Thank you."

"Will you tell Sister Hong and Mr. Luo?" Qu Jing asked.

"Do you want me to tell them?" Qin Huai asked back.

Qu Jing thought for a while and nodded: "Tell them. Mr. Luo is so smart, you can't lie to him in front of him."

"And if Mother Qu knows that my friends all know my secret and don't mind, she should be a little happier in her heart."

"She has been blaming herself all these years, feeling that it was her who didn't take me to see a psychiatrist in the first place and delayed me, so I became what I am now."

"The person I am most sorry for is her; I don't want to make her sadder."

Qu Jing put on her gloves, rolled down her sleeves, put on her mask, and restored her previous appearance.

"Let's go, go wrap steamed buns."

(End of chapter)