Chapter 250: The Sea Demon's Butt-Bite (44K Begging for Votes)

Clang, clang, clang!

With each step Herbert took, the "monster" fish catch slung over his shoulder bobbed up and down, its head rising and falling.

The sea demon Young Lady's lovely face kept making intimate contact with Herbert's pert buttocks amid the bobbing.

Duang——Duang——Duang——

Finally, after being bounced aside by those springy muscles for the seventeenth time, Fu Leimei, who had been keeping her eyes shut, could no longer keep up the pretense of sleeping.

"……Hmph!!!"

She snapped her eyes open, snorted in a mix of embarrassment and annoyance, and complained irritably, "Hey! Are you ever going to stop!?"

I admit, your butt really is quite perky, the feel of it is nice, and I did enjoy pinching it before… but you can't keep bumping my face with your butt over and over again!

Are you doing this on purpose?

But just after she blew up, Herbert still paid her no mind, lost in the post-catch bliss of having landed a monster and gotten lost on the way home.

Angler · Lost State. JPG

Sigh, how come I can't find my way home?

Hey!

Hey buddy, how did you know I caught a biiiiiiig monster fish today?

Hey hey hey!

Don't go! I haven't even asked you for directions yet!

Come back… huh? You actually came back?

Hehe! Want to take another look at my big fish?

……

Granted, Herbert hadn't really caught a fish, nor did he have any friends or family to show off to.

But as an angler, that joy is a feeling that transcends all!

Is the point of The Old Man and the Sea really that he caught a big fish?

No!

The true core of the story is that the old man conquered the big fish and won a true victory!

Herbert, too, had won.

In his land duel with the sea demon Young Lady, his practiced skill and silver tongue earned him a complete one-on-one victory!

In the end, he utterly defeated the big fish, turning it into the trophy slung over his shoulder.

This is an angler's victory.

This great victory belongs to mankind!

This glory goes to……

Just as Herbert was basking in the joy of his triumph, he failed to notice that the big fish he had defeated had already regained her senses.

Not only that, but she was now extremely dangerous!

"I'll teach you to ignore me!"

Having been brushed off for quite a while, Fu Leimei flew into a rage. Some wire in her brain must have come loose, for she viciously sank her teeth straight into the butt right before her eyes.

Don't ask her why she bit it.

She didn't know either.

If a hard answer had to be given… "It was right there."

Because it was there, she bit it.

Ah—oof!

Chomp!

The suddenly razor-sharp fangs of the sea demon pierced through the leather armor and bit viciously into the youth's butt cheek.

"Mm!!?"

The instant his butt was about to suffer a grievous wound, Herbert's expression changed at once.

Not good!

Someone's ambushing my hook!

He knit his brows, clamped his legs together, and tensed both cheeks of muscle!

But this sharp reaction was utterly useless—the sea demon's fangs still sank into Herbert's butt.

"Hiss—ha!"

Herbert's face at this moment became quite a sight.

White shot through with red, red shot through with black……

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't actually bite!"

Are you part dog?

Aren't you a sea demon? Why are you biting people!?

Could you be a sea dog instead?

Although Fu Leimei had the good sense not to bite clean through the muscle, she didn't even break the skin.

But even without a proper breach, the pain was still very real.

It hurt just like "rainy night, elevated highway, Maybach"!

It hurt so much.

If that pain could go one step further, it would be "little monster, the best, shriveled up"… ahem.

In short, it hurt. A lot.

Herbert turned back helplessly, gave Miss Sea Demon's head a little push, hoping she'd show some mercy with her mouth.

"Let go, be good, my dear Miss Fu Leimei, stop biting!"

If you're going to bite, bite somewhere else!

Not there!

What's wrong with you?

Valentina has never bitten me like this!

How are you even more childish than she is?

Fu Leimei finally loosened her jaws, huffing lightly: "Hmph hmph~ serves you right for ignoring me!"

After saying that, she thoughtfully provided after-sales service, casting healing magic on Herbert's butt… well, of the water element variety.

Pssh—

The moment those chilly droplets sprayed onto the skin of his butt, Herbert knew.

Fu Leimei definitely hadn't forgiven him yet.

That burning-hot yet ice-cold sensation was truly beyond words.

What is this?

Some kind of artificial Ice-Fire Twin Eyes?

"Mm, all good now, hehe~"

After confirming Herbert's butt was still perfectly intact, Fu Leimei gave it a playful pat and even pinched it for good measure.

After fully embodying the essence of a shrimp-headed sea demon, she floated up as if nothing had happened.

But before she could fly very high, she dropped back down to where she started, continuing to cling to Herbert's shoulder… only now she'd turned around, with her head facing forward.

This time, if she gets bounced around again… hmph hmph.

I'll bite your whole head off!

Herbert felt her ill-intentioned, greedily glinting gaze, his crotch tightened slightly, and he obediently clenched his butt together.

Don't cry.

Sure enough, boys out and about really do need to be careful!

Friendly reminder: friends who love fishing, please be sure to check before using—definitely don't pick a fish with teeth~

Not everyone is Grass Carp Bro.

Even Herbert, who automatically inherited the title of "Grass Carp Bro the Second" after clearing Fu Leimei, and who possessed some of the original's flair, wouldn't dare claim he could truly compare to that legendary figure.

Can't compare, really can't compare.

How could I dare to compete with a true powerhouse.

A weakling like me can only flirt with intelligent beings like dragons and sea demons.

Thinking of this, Herbert suddenly noticed something crucial.

"Speaking of which, Nie Nasha."

【"Mm? What is it?"】 Nie Nasha's voice was cold, and within that chill there was even a faint hint of disdain.

Mm, not faint.

That disdain and annoyance were quite obviously displayed.

Miss Xie Shen had never once tried to hide it, openly declaring her displeasure.

But Herbert didn't care about her tone at all, and continued asking: "Why didn't you warn me just now?"

He rubbed his still-aching butt and complained: "I was about to be attacked by a legendary monster—couldn't you have given me a heads-up?"

Herbert was being unreasonable about this—he himself was very clear on that.

But hey, this was the feeling he was going for!

If he hadn't done it on purpose, Herbert wouldn't have asked like this!

People are just cheap that way.

They have to act cheap every now and then, otherwise their whole body feels off, like there's a sea demon crawling on them.

And Nie Nasha was indeed riled up by his unreasonable questioning, complaining indignantly: 【"You have the nerve to say that!?"】

【"How would I know when to warn you? Who knows if that's just some little game between you two!"】

【"Isn't it just biting each other? Have you two done that any less before? Huh!?"】

Nie Nasha expressed considerable grievance.

Seriously, be a human being, this Miss Xie Shen doesn't want to be part of your flirting routine…

Is this my fault?

Should I be blamed for not warning you?

Before you accuse me, maybe take a look at your own problems first?

No matter how you look at it, it's clearly you two who are the problem!

Every day over there studying how to make the wind chime move loudest, how to move it quietest without drawing attention… pfft!

Who knows if you two are actually enjoying it?

"Hahaha, look at you, getting worked up again."

Herbert laughed and shrugged his shoulders… bouncing the sea demon perched on them.

"Mm?"

Fu Leimei blinked, looked down at that Herbert: "You're looking for me? Just say it?"

Her gaze was strange, staring at Herbert's expression with suspicion.

"Ahem!"

Herbert coughed twice and laughed: "It's nothing, just my shoulder's a bit uncomfortable."

?

"What do you mean? Are you complaining that I'm heavy?"

"Uh, I…"

Herbert felt the Young Lady's gaze turn dangerous, felt the fish tail coiled around him tightening gradually, beads of cold sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Oh dear, why do I always break down over this?

You're a sea serpent—why care about your weight?

Valentina eats so much and doesn't care about her weight!

Learn from her a bit!

Suddenly, the sea serpent lady whipped her head around and said slowly: "Hm? You were… thinking about another woman again, weren't you?"

Herbert:?

"Uh…"

Fu Leimei sharply sensed the shift in Herbert's thoughts, raised her hand, and gripped his cheek, forcing him to look into her eyes.

"Hey, don't go too far! When you're with me, don't think about other women!"

She spoke as if threatening, but the plaintive tone sounded unmistakably like pouting.

Look at me.

I don't care when you're elsewhere, but when it's just you and me, can you not look anywhere else?

Herbert, pinned by her gaze, forced a smile: "Cough, cough, what are you talking about? I wasn't thinking of anyone just now—you're just too… uh… sensitive."

Yes.

Young Lady Fu Leimei, not only your body, but even your mind seems suspiciously too sensitive!

"... Hm?"

Fu Leimei regarded Herbert skeptically, leaned close, and sniffed—unfortunately, she lacked Valentina's talent and couldn't smell lies.

"Really?"

"Really really! Come on, why wouldn't you believe me? Do you think I'd lie to you?"

Herbert was practically pounding his chest in assurance.

How could I ever lie to you!

I was merely thinking, "I just didn't think of anyone (except Valentina)."

As long as you add enough qualifying phrases, any statement can become the truth.

In the end, she reluctantly accepted Herbert's explanation, pouted, and muttered: "... Hmph, you better be!"

To be honest, Fu Leimei didn't truly care if Herbert had companions besides her.

Having multiple companions is perfectly normal for the powerful.

Even if Herbert truly thought of Valentina, Fu Leimei would only sulk a little.

And since Herbert, whether sincere or not, showed a conciliatory attitude, Fu Leimei gladly took the offered olive branch.

So Fu Leimei was merely a little jealous—she wouldn't truly break down or fly into a rage.

Don't try to impose human values on monster society, and don't try to force their beliefs.

Even after centuries of mutual integration, clear racial differences still exist between humans and monsters.

Differences in views on life and death, time, the world, ethics…

Racial integration requires "seeking common ground while preserving differences."

Even within the vague category of "monsters," vast differences exist between races.

Some are matriarchal, some patriarchal, some reproduce through plants, some assemble and splice…

Moreover, even in a world where individual power reaches astonishing heights, human society remains stuck in the medieval era.

The gods, to harvest faith, have stifled certain paths of progress, keeping their flock trapped and long-term in this primitive tier.

Thus the conclusion: gods are wise, mortals are foolish.

Mortals' thinking is neither sharp nor innovative—it still follows the ancient rituals and rules passed down by elders.

If you tried explaining certain "advanced and scientific" knowledge to these medieval folk, you'd only provoke backlash.

Just as many modern people cannot understand the openness of ancient people, and remain utterly baffled by it.

For this situation, first understand one thing: ancient people merely lived in ancient times—they weren't necessarily rigid.

Back then, they were, oh, far more extravagant than you!

Though Herbert possessed modern wisdom, his life experiences had molded him into a true native.

Especially as a noble immersed in the ballroom circle, he knew precisely how to win favor.

Herbert knew how to handle Fu Leimei's state.

Seeing her puffed-up cheeks, he couldn't resist gently poking her.

Poke.

"Pfft! Hey, you!?"

Herbert, having succeeded, shifted the topic before she could get angry: "By the way, you'll need to get off me soon and change back to your previous appearance."

"You jerk… oh, fine."

Fu Leimei knew she couldn't act willful here—she had to return as she had left.

Otherwise, she'd only cause Herbert trouble.

"Alright, then I'll change my appearance."

Fu Leimei reluctantly slid off Herbert, took one last chance to swipe her hand over him, and grinned triumphantly.

She noticed that she had almost awakened little Herbert's battle form once again.

Quit while you're ahead, quit while you're ahead.

Although her body could still hold up, mentally she was still somewhat unaccustomed to that joy of losing control over herself.

A little scared.

"Hehe~"

In quite a good mood, Fu Leimei took out her alchemical legs and once again attached them to her tail.

Fu Leimei waved her fingers, a layer of mist enveloped her body, and she transformed completely, once again taking on the appearance she had when she first appeared at the monastery.

A gorgeous long dress covered the slight flaws of her legs, and atop her head was an added black veil that obscured her face.

She lifted the hem of her skirt and bowed slightly to Herbert, then extended her palm; after doing so, she couldn't help but laugh at herself.

"Hehe, as expected, I'm still not used to this kind of attire."

But Herbert did not refuse; instead, he cooperated by bending at the waist in thanks, and even took the initiative to take her hand.

Herbert held Fu Leimei's hand, then gave a gentle tug, directly scooping her up into a princess carry since she had difficulty walking.

Alright, the catch has been scooped up once again!

Herbert looked at the cheerful Fu Leimei, smiled without a word, and strode toward the direction of the monastery.

"Mm, just like this, let us keep going back like this."

Family of Mist Monastery, tremble!

The Emperor you have been long parted from is coming back!

……

"This is, what situation?"

Herbert held his "catch" and looked from afar at the bustling crowd at the monastery's entrance.

Is this to welcome us?

They don't need such a grand reception, do they!?

And just as Herbert was feeling puzzled, he spotted several familiar faces in the crowd.

"Oh? It's Fa'ao and the others. Come, let's go ask what's going on."

Just as Herbert was preparing to sneak over and figure out the situation, Fa'ao and his group were surrounded by more than a dozen people.

Hm?

In the crowd, the tall Wu Seng Waluo slapped his chest and shouted at the top of his lungs:

"Lord Herbert wouldn't die so easily! We saw him with our own eyes before!"

"You all don't know how heart-pounding and shocking that scene was!"

"Therefore, he should be the true champion of this monster hunt!"

Herbert:?

Eh?

Me?

(End of this chapter)