Chapter 375: I've Always Been With You (6K, begging for subscriptions)

Thud!

From the Secret-Keeper's demiplane came a heavy knock, along with a low growl that had been slightly breached.

"Herbert!"

The Bishop of Ashes, sprawled on the ground, ground her teeth and pounded the floor with all her might.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!"

Thud! Thud! Thud!

Rustle.

Ophidia yanked off her hood and shook out her long purple hair.

Every strand floated up as if defying gravity, like countless thin purple snakes silently hissing in fury.

"... Tch!"

She bit hard on her lip, her face full of humiliation, her eyes brimming with unwillingness.

She had lost.

This time, she had lost completely.

Herbert, you actually made me lose this thoroughly!

She never imagined she would be dragged into Herbert's trial.

This isn't right!

I was the one testing him—how did it become him testing me!?

"No! How is he completely fine?"

"Why isn't Herbert affected at all?"

Just as Ophidia had told Herbert at the very beginning, the ability of this legendary potion was to make whoever drank it forget everything upon entering the spiritual world, completely unaware that they had been hypnotized.

But she hadn't expected that Herbert, who had drunk the potion, was fine—instead, she was the one who suffered.

Because Ophidia had also once drunk 【Silence and Noise】, even though she was already an epic-tier powerhouse, she fell in deeper than anyone else.

Not only did she fail to notice anything amiss, she forgot a thousand years of memories and was completely toyed with by Herbert.

Although carelessness played a large part in this accident—as long as one was prepared, one wouldn't be pulled into the Illusion... but judging by the current outcome, no amount of talking would help; she had indeed been thoroughly toyed with.

Lost badly.

Since there were no outsiders here anyway, Ophidia just lay half-sprawled on the ground, muttering complaints nonstop.

"Herbert, are you even human? And you had the nerve to say I hurt you!"

"How do you have the face to say that?"

Are you even a Holy Knight? Do you still have the dignity of a Holy Knight? Do you still have the Holy Knight's bottom line!!?

Ophidia raged, her furious questioning echoing throughout the entire space.

"Dammit! Dammit—"

After raging impotently for quite a while, her emotions gradually calmed down.

She looked at the books scattered all over the floor, "trembling in fear," then lowered her head to look at her own disheveled appearance, the corner of her mouth twitching uncontrollably.

"This really is a sorry sight... Pfft, hahaha!"

She broke into a smile, shook her head helplessly and somewhat speechlessly, and sighed: "That guy actually dared to put on that act knowing nothing."

After recalling their conversation, Ophidia suddenly realized the loophole in Herbert's words and understood he had been "setting a trap with empty hands," successfully extracting quite a bit of intelligence from her.

"This kid... just how many women has he tricked behind the scenes?"

She muttered maliciously to herself; seeing Herbert looking so practiced and at ease, he must have tricked plenty of others this way.

Right!

Scumbag!

Philandering playboy!

"Haa..."

After griping for another long stretch, she let out a long breath and simply sprawled on the ground like a useless snake, lazy and limp.

"Herbert, he... really is an interesting guy."

Although she had been tricked, to be fair, he really was a very special and interesting guy.

"He wasn't bewitched by the Illusion at all—no, not only wasn't he bewitched, he was even in control of the situation."

"Not just me—I'm afraid any other phantoms he encountered would have been easily broken by him too."

"... Wait, did I forget something?"

Ophidia was silently reflecting when she suddenly noticed something off.

She suddenly looked toward a tome, reached out and pulled; the book fell from the shelf and flew swiftly toward her.

Mid-air, the book transformed into streams of inscriptions that landed on her body, leaving a new mark on one of the scales on her snake tail.

The Bishop of Ashes touched the inscription with her fingertip, reading the information within, her brows tightly furrowed.

"Oh no..."

Because she had once taken this potion herself, she hadn't paid it much mind and hadn't carefully recalled the details.

But by the time Ophidia noticed something was wrong, it was already too late.

"【Silence and Noise】 is the Secret-Keeper's first and most difficult trial; only those who pass the trial can truly become the upper echelons of the Secret-Keepers."

This information didn't differ much from what she remembered—the key lay in an inconspicuous line of small text that followed.

"However, the recipe for this legendary potion was not originally created by the Secret-Keepers, but was simplified after being discovered in ancient texts."

"When first discovered, this potion had another name—【Glimpse of Fate】."

"This is a divine potion from an already fallen ancient god, the Goddess of Fate."

After reading this passage of information, Ofidya's brow furrowed completely.

"To think it's the secret medicine of that ancient god…"

The 【Goddess of Fate】 mentioned here is not the current 【Goddess of Fortune】, but rather an even more ancient deity who had already fallen long before the Age of Faith.

The current Goddess of Fortune is a newborn deity born from the fallen body of the Goddess of Fate.

She is the reborn Her, yet not entirely Her.

Setting everything else aside, just in terms of strength, the Goddess of Fate was a powerful deity of high divine rank, presiding over the divine office of 【Fate】.

This Fate was not merely the fate of mortal things — She even possessed the ability to interfere with the fates of the gods themselves!

Of course, this ability was also considered by some to be the true reason for Her fall.

Yet the current Goddess of Fortune has only barely reached mid divine rank, and the divine offices She governs have been reduced to 【Fortune】 and 【Misfortune】; those She can affect are likely only mortals, with very little interference upon the gods.

In terms of strength, She is simply no match.

For the faithful gods, She remains an ancient god left over from the olden era.

But for those even more ancient beings, the Goddess of Fortune is not of Their generation, but a newborn.

And since the Keeper's potion comes from that ancient Goddess of Fate, then this potion would not be as simple as it appears on the surface.

Although she was certain that what she had given Herbert was 【Silence and Cacophony】, an improved version of the potion left behind by the Keepers.

But in the supernatural world, no matter what happens, nothing comes as a surprise.

Especially when it involves a domain like "Fate," so full of variables.

Fate is the most unfathomable thing in this world — just like the ever-changing whims of the Goddess of Fate.

Ofidya steadied herself and finished reading the remaining information.

"Once the 【Peering of Fate】 ritual begins, whether it succeeds or fails, it must continue until a result is obtained before it can be stopped."

"The stronger one's own fate, the higher the difficulty of the trial… hiss, not good!"

At this moment, Ofidya drew in a slight breath of cold air, and her expression changed.

"Wait, if even I don't count as a true trial, then for him, what would a true trial be?"

"Hiss!"

After thinking for a moment, Ofidya suddenly widened her eyes.

"This is bad now!"

"It can't be that old thing, can it!!?"

We're done for!

Ofidya's heart jolted, and the more she thought about it, the more she felt that the Archbishop had appeared within Herbert's Illusion.

But in truth, for Herbert, the current situation might be even worse than Ofidya imagined!

……

Herbert felt as though he had had a very, very long dream.

He dreamed that he was no longer that helpless orphan, but was instead born as the son of a noble in a kingdom covered in frost and snow.

He had a childhood sweetheart, had family who doted on him, had a gentle elder brother, had everything he lacked in reality.

Wealth, status, looks…

The same soul, yet an entirely different life.

In the dream, he forgot everything of reality and grew up as a child.

At first, everything was fairly ordinary, with no twists; the real surprises came after he came of age.

After that day, everything changed, and all sorts of wild developments unfolded.

He recalled the reality outside the dream, and this sunken dream began to turn into a lucid dream.

Herbert possessed a special talent within the dream, one that could make monster girls fall for him.

Thus, he began to make contact with all manner of monster girls.

Relying on this ability and the wisdom accumulated across two lifetimes, he began to tread carefully through this wondrous, fantastical world — kidding, he was wildly reckless.

After all, this was all just a dream, so what was there to care about?

Even if he died within the dream, what problem would that be?

He'd just wake up, that's all.

Dragons, mermaids, vampires, elves, demons, devils, angels… all manner of monster girls gathered around him.

After confirming that he was truly the chosen one, he began doing things he would never have dared to imagine in reality.

He courted death in every way, yet simply could not die.

He was both executioner and savior.

A madman in the eyes of some, a hero in the hearts of others.

But those people all failed to understand that Herbert did none of this for any special purpose — he was merely following the dictates of his own heart.

He did not care how others viewed him, nor did he concern himself with their fates.

Herbert simply wanted to do what he himself wished to do.

Since this was within a dream, he was determined to begin indulging freely.

In the few short months after waking, Herbert experienced things far more thrilling than the first half of his life within the dream, and far more thrilling than the world outside the dream.

He indulged freely.

And then, gradually, he sank deeper into the dream.

Sinking deeper and deeper, sinking deeper and deeper.

He almost forgot who he was.

The reality outside the dream was something from long, long ago.

It had been so long… he already felt that it was something from a previous life.

And now, the moment of waking from the dream had arrived.

That truly was something from a previous life.

After seeing that face he had nearly forgotten, Herbert felt a heavy hammer strike hard against his head.

Boom—

That at the very first glance upon this face, he would actually feel a sense of strangeness.

It felt like seeing a stranger he recognized, but wasn't all that familiar with.

This feeling was very eerie.

Clearly it was himself, yet it didn't seem like himself.

For no reason at all, a sense of emptiness actually welled up within his heart.

As if he were nothing more than an illusory bubble, entirely entrusted to the figure in the mirror.

And while Herbert was silent, the reflection in the mirror spoke.

"You've finally deigned to look at me."

"Herbert" looked at Herbert and grinned: "Finally stopped pretending you didn't hear anything."

"Played enough? That's about enough, don't keep going, hurry up and wake up, you've got work tomorrow."

"There's still a lot of cases that need handling, you can't keep falling like this!"

"Tomorrow we still need to donate to the orphanage, can't forget about that, the children are still waiting for us."

"Also, the blind date that Sister Zhang introduced needs to be clearly rejected, I've already looked into that woman, what she's after isn't my handsome face and body, but the savings I've accumulated, can't let her get away with it."

"Lucky I dodged fast, otherwise if I'd made contact, wouldn't he have turned around and reported me? Well, although as someone with a matching specialty I'm not really afraid of that, but still it's a hassle."

"Also, gotta tell them properly, stop introducing me to women who are divorced with two kids, I really don't like that."

In the mental world, Herbert chattered on endlessly, while the phantoms of the monster girls remained silent.

But in reality, it became the phantom in the mirror talking to himself, while Herbert outside the mirror stood dumbfounded and mute.

A noisy past, a silent present.

After quite a while, Herbert finally let out a long, emotional sigh and shook his head.

He looked at himself in the mirror and asked softly: "Who are you? Who am I? Who… are we?"

"Who am I? Hmm?"

"Herbert" was taken aback for a moment, then blinked eerily: "You forgot?"

Herbert gazed at him in silence, offering no reply, neither nodding nor shaking his head.

Had he forgotten?

He felt he hadn't, but judging by the other's manner, it seemed his thoughts differed.

"That's a bit of a hassle then…"

The Herbert in the mirror clicked his tongue, muttering a couple of words as if finding it troublesome: "Tch, forgot again, I'm gonna have to explain for ages this time, whatever… who asked me to choose this myself."

He talked himself into it, raised his head to look at Herbert, and said: "Who are we? This question is a bit complicated."

"Simply put, I'm the you of reality, you're the me of the dream, we were originally one, no distinction between you and me."

"If you insist I give you an explanation, multiple personalities, you can understand that, right?"

"I'm the personality of reality, and you're the personality fabricated within the dream to enjoy life."

"Because our life has really been too bitter, so we need a space to escape, reality has nowhere to hide, so we can only take refuge in dreams."

He spread his hands, his expression quite casual: "Nothing more to say, and this isn't the first time either."

"In dreams, we've already enjoyed plenty of versions, fantasy worlds, xianxia worlds, cyber worlds, eroge worlds… wait, you still haven't remembered?"

"Herbert" looked at the perfectly calm Herbert, his brow slightly furrowed, and said with some impatience: "How much more detail do you want me to give?"

"Do you want me to describe for you the plots we experienced in the eroge world?"

Honestly, Herbert had a moment of temptation at that instant.

Oh no, he actually kind of wanted to hear it.

But, listening to his past-life self narrate his own once-yellow fantasies — that move was a bit too abstract.

Alright, way too abstract.

So he shook his head and said regretfully: "Although it's a shame, that won't be necessary, it's a bit too weird."

"That is true."

"Herbert" nodded and pouted: "I don't have such a strange kink, also, this dream is pretty good, I like it a lot, let's continue next time we fall asleep…"

"Uh, hold on a second."

Herbert raised his hand and cut off the other's speech: "You don't need to say more, I've already understood everything."

"Herbert" was taken aback, but didn't mind his rude attitude, and nodded: "Since you understand, then hurry up and wake up, sleeping too much will make you tired, find a memory anchor now and remember it, then get up and wash up…"

*Slap! *

"Alright, let's get to the conclusion first."

Herbert clapped his hands heavily, shook his head at himself in the mirror, and said softly: "I'm not you, and you're not me, I've never had a second personality."

He gave the reflection a slight smile and a wink: "You, are the one who's the illusory bubble."

"You're saying… I'm the fake?"

"Herbert" didn't get angry after hearing Herbert's words, just let out a helpless sigh: "Sigh, this reaction again, you still don't get it."

"Are you about to say, I'm the you of the past life, and you're the me of this life? Everything in reality is nothing but memories of the past life, right?"

"I get it, I get it."

He scratched his hair and said helplessly: "Look, try to recall, in your so-called reality, don't you often feel dazed? Don't you always feel nostalgic for the past?"

"Do you often come up with terrible memes that no one can understand? Do you use them again and again to prove you once existed, to keep yourself from forgetting the past?"

Herbert narrowed his eyes.

"……"

He did indeed often recall the days gone by, and used his own way to maintain his spiritual anchor, to keep himself from completely forgetting everything of the past.

Herbert did not answer, but his expression had already said it all.

"See!"

The reflection in the mirror snorted: "You can fool everyone, but you can never fool yourself."

"These are the keywords we prepared. Every time you do that, it's an unconscious reminder that it's time to wake up."

"Wake up. Don't keep sinking any longer."

"This is nothing more than a game of ours, just an absurd beautiful dream. When it's all over, we still have to return to reality."

"Herbert" gathered his expression and said seriously: "That's about enough. Stop messing around."

"Dream, it's time to wake."

His voice was not loud, his tone not forceful, yet it gave Herbert a feeling as if a lifetime had passed.

He felt his body growing heavier and heavier, but his soul felt lighter and lighter.

A long-awaited sound reached his ears.

Thump. Thump.

The beating of his heart, the sound of blood flowing, all gathered in his ears. He could feel his own steady breathing, and the chirping of birds outside the window.

The him in the mirror was about to fall asleep; the him outside the mirror was about to wake.

The long night had ended.

The hour to wake from the dream had arrived.

But just as Herbert was about to close his eyes and break free from the dream, he let out a soft sigh.

"Sure enough, this was nothing more than a dream."

Herbert slowly opened his eyes. Clarity filled them, not a trace of sleepiness remaining.

He looked at the reflection of his past life in the mirror with considerable regret, and said softly: "You tried to imitate me, to make yourself look like me."

"But you are not me."

"Yes, I do miss everything about the past. I miss it every moment."

Herbert had never denied his longing for his past life, even though the past was not all that beautiful.

It was everything of the past that shaped the present him, that made him who he is today.

He would not forget all that he had been through—not to glorify suffering, but simply to cherish the self who had overcome it.

That was the road he had come by.

"But so what if I miss it?"

Herbert raised an eyebrow and said softly:

"Memory is each of us carving a mark on a moving boat to find a lost sword in the river of time, but a person cannot live in memory."

"A person cannot live in the past."

"No matter how much one misses it, memory can stay in the past, but the living cannot keep stopping in the past."

The white-haired youth looked at the black-haired young man, revealed a peaceful smile, blinked, and said with a grin: "Besides, missing is missing, but I've never actually wanted to go back to the past."

"Because there are already people and things here I can't bear to part with."

Not to mention anything else, in my previous life there wasn't a genuine monster girl!

This point is very important!

Herbert nodded to himself slightly, then whispered to himself in the mirror: "Where I am, that is the reality I inhabit."

"The past will not become an obstacle to trip me up."

"I will walk toward the future."

Life is a one-way journey. Whether you are willing or not, you can only keep moving forward.

"And… you overlooked one thing."

After a long silence, the reflection in the mirror raised its head and looked at the youth outside the mirror.

What was missed?

Herbert smiled: "I've always said that what got me to where I am today is my own effort and sweat, with no other reliance."

He said this without the slightest shame, then shrugged.

"But actually, I know in my heart it's nothing more than a joke."

"If I hadn't met that guy, I'd probably be a completely different person right now, living a completely different life."

"I might still be a miserable holy knight keeping the precepts all day, training my iron crotch skill with the good big brothers of the knight order."

"This dream was very perfect. It shook my heart a great deal, but it also made me unexpectedly forget a character who is vital to me."

Herbert paused, then laughed. Though phrased as a question, he asked with certainty: "You're there, aren't you?"

【"I'm here."】

Without a moment's hesitation, the Young Lady of Harmonious Gods, who should have been slumbering and absorbing divine power, whispered softly in his heart.

【"I have always been with you."】

(End of this chapter)