Chapter 9

"Encountered the Sorrowful Mermaid Queen in the Alien Prison—high attack, high HP, monstrous strength! Spent all my strength and still couldn't defeat her!"

【？】

"Disciple is incompetent, beg the Ancestor to aid me!"

【？】

"Immortal, save me! Just lift a finger! Why are you just standing there watching, Immortal!"

【？】

The God of Satire seemed equally surprised by Herbert’s reaction, sending three question marks in succession, and after a long hesitation, finally spoke.

【...Speak plainly.】

Please be normal. I’m scared.

I finally meet someone I can talk to, and this is what I get?

Herbert sneered, but ultimately chose not to continue teasing.

Though it really was fun to tease.

"Oh, so today I met a legendary sea monster. She tried to control my mind—but guess what?"

"Hey! Not only did her song not affect me, she was incredibly friendly and wanted to give me a loving hug! Isn’t that amazing?"

"So, do you have any insight into this?"

【You noticed?】

The text became more ornate, faintly conveying the writer’s joyful mood.

"Of course—it’s so obvious, I’m not Bai Chi, how could I miss it?"

【Hehe, it seems you’ve finally grasped my greatness.】

"Understood. Completely understood."

Herbert clenched his teeth, veins bulging on his temples, face set in grim determination.

So damn dark.

Making a cow-headed female and goblin females charge me together...

No human could possibly imagine such a dream!

So twisted.

Though the Evil God did spare a shred of mercy and ultimately didn’t carry it out, preventing Herbert from truly breaking.

Even so, irreversible damage had already been done to his spirit.

His mind is contaminated!

Layers of folds in his brain were packed with memory fragments comparable to Old Ones’ corruption.

Herbert shook his head, took a deep breath, and redirected his focus elsewhere.

【Good, you understand. Hehehe...】

【With my protection, a mere legendary sea monster means nothing~】

At the height of his pride, the Evil God sketched a smug little face on the paper.

【But the failure of charm magic has little to do with me~ Think for yourself—what other blessings do you have?】

Other blessings... oh!

Herbert thought it over and realized—it was the Pure Blessing he’d always despised.

Pure of heart, immune to all enchantment.

Herbert had assumed this ability merely granted him higher resistance to charm—but never imagined it granted outright immunity.

Immune to charm!

That explained why the monastery’s high-ups dared let him manage the prison alone.

With the Pure Oath blessing, as long as Herbert didn’t break his vow, no one could enchant him, no monster in the prison could manipulate him.

So, like a salaryman who drinks three cups of black coffee and still brings emergency heart pills to work for an all-nighter—is the real tool just someone who comes pre-equipped with resistance?

【Correct. Though I look down on Him, as long as this Sacred Mark blessing remains, all charm magic will fail against you.】

"But wait—last night, weren’t you the one who enchanted me?"

I nearly followed you out of my room!

【You compare them to me? How little do you think of me?】

"Oh..."

Mm-hmm.

You’re the Evil God, you’re awesome.

Herbert’s lip twitched, barely holding back the retort—If you’re so awesome, why can you only log in after midnight?

Is it because you don’t want to?

Or does Mom not let you play with your phone, so you sneak it at night?

The two continued bantering for a while, until Herbert finally changed the subject, writing seriously: "Listen, stop wasting time on this nonsense—shouldn’t we talk about real business?"

【Oh? What do you want to discuss?】

"Your purpose, what you need me to do, and what you can offer in return."

【Are you threatening me?】

"Not yet—this is still negotiation. Threatening comes only if we fail to reach an agreement."

When discussing serious matters, Herbert’s laziness vanished. His expression was calm, utterly unconcerned that he was bargaining with a divine entity.

Even though the Evil God belonged to the domain of evil, no one could ignore that this was a deity towering above mortals.

The world’s natives might genuinely revere such beings, believing them unstoppable.

But Herbert, reborn into this world, carried no such mental imprint—he feared them, but did not revere them.

【You’re confident, aren’t you? So sure I’ll follow your terms?】

Herbert’s left hand trembled. A drop of ink fell from his pen, spreading rapidly across the paper, forming a grotesque, self-arranged string of text.

【Do you truly believe you have the right to negotiate?】

Do you really think a mere mortal like you has the right to bargain with a god?

The Evil God made no effort to hide his contempt, challenging the mortal’s arrogance.

And the mortal... paid it no mind.

"Hah!"

He even let out a scoff.

"Of course."

Herbert’s expression didn’t change. He abandoned the letter-game entirely and spoke calmly: "Because the one who needs something isn’t me—it’s you."

He leaned back, tilting the chair onto its two front legs, swaying lazily back and forth.

"Don’t rush to deny it. Let me lay it out for you."

"You came uninvited. You’re the one dragging me into this boring game. And you’re the one sealed and trapped."

The room fell silent, save for his own voice echoing.

"Besides, today has confirmed one thing—you’re far weaker than I imagined."

"You really think I did nothing all day, just hiding in some corner trembling?"

"Here’s a hint—why do you think I asked you about the mermaid first?"

The boy grinned scornfully, just as the Evil God had sneered at mortals—mocking the deity’s stupidity and pride.

"You really thought I was just bored?"

Hum—

A faint hum vibrated in his ears, as if some being’s wrath had interfered with reality.

But Herbert ignored it, continuing his monologue.

"Your reaction gave me the answer—you’re not omniscient."

"You didn’t know about my encounter with the mermaid, didn’t know what happened, didn’t know what we spoke about... meaning you can’t read my thoughts."

"Even if you are a true Evil God, you’re not nearly as terrifying or invincible as I first thought."

"Am I right, dear Evil God?"

Click.

"Now..."

The rocking chair legs settled. The boy lifted his right leg, lounging casually, and asked:

"Do I now have the right to negotiate with you?"

(End of Chapter)