[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-armed-witch":3,"chapter-armed-witch-armed-witch-chapter-950":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"chinese","Armed Witch",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},2354490,4604,"Chapter 950: The Senior Who Had an Episode","armed-witch-chapter-950",950,"\u003Cp>Astrós stepped out of the bathroom after her bath, naked, pondering which evening gown to wear for tonight’s birthday party.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Suddenly, she twitched her nose, catching a tantalizing aroma.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The scent came from her kitchen.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Hmm.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Goddess of Wealth was surprised; she walked to the kitchen door and saw, in that space she rarely visited, a bustling figure.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Unlike the tiny, ant-like form she’d seen not long ago, this figure now stood as towering and divine as herself—its size allowing it to effortlessly command this special kitchen.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“So it’s Dorothy. She hasn’t left yet?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Though her form and aura had changed utterly, Astrós recognized the figure at once, thinking with mild astonishment.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, she hadn’t expected to be given extra scenes.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Though all were Dragon Heads, there were hierarchies among them; in strength, she couldn’t compete with the top few, and in strategy, the Dragon Heads all deemed her—a mere spender—a vulgar fool, so they’d planned minimal roles for her. Yet now, an unexpected bonus had appeared.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yay, girls with money usually don't have bad luck.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Goddess of Wealth thought smugly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>In the kitchen, the Lord of the Yellow Robe hummed a strange little tune, happily testing her new cookware.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>From beneath her yellow robe, sinister tentacles wrapped around the handle of a golden giant pot; beneath it, black World-Ending Dragon Flame burned, while several tentacles identical to those beneath her robe lay inside the furnace as fuel.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>At first, the burning tentacles writhed in pain, rolling in the fire—but as they rolled, they grew accustomed, then gave up entirely.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>If you looked closely, you’d be stunned to notice these tentacles weren’t shrinking—they were slowly growing.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But more fuel meant fiercer flames, so Dorothy wearily extended a tentacle, plucked another from the furnace, and reattached it to her body; the returned tentacle seemed delighted, happily waving farewell to its “sisters” still burning in the fire.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, a profoundly surreal and bizarre scene.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Now, look inside the golden giant pot.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Well, it was still tentacles being stewed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Boiling beans with bean stalks—tentacles stewing tentacles.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The image grew even more abstract.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fortunately, the tentacles burning below and those stewed above seemed unrelated; they were currently hurling furious insults at each other.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Damn you, cunning devil, you’re mocking me!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The severed tentacles in the pot opened mouths and screamed curses.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Shh, don’t talk—you’re ruining my blanching. Ingredients must have the awareness of ingredients.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yellow-robed Dorothy raised a tentacle to her lips and said this, then swiftly added spiritual scallions, ginger, floral rice wine, and other deodorizing ingredients.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, the god’s flavor is too strong—need heavy spices.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As the water temperature rose, the squid god grew increasingly unhinged, screaming and hurling more blasphemous words.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yet this did nothing to hinder the terrifying Yellow Robe’s cooking; she stirred the pot with magic while directing another giant octopus beside her to work hard.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It too was a god, but clearly weaker than the one in the pot—though it was obedient.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This green-skinned octopus god skillfully severed one of its own tentacles, respectfully offered it to the Yellow Robe, then swiftly began kneading dough and chopping onions and scallions.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It was a reserve food source Dorothy had fished up from another world while vacationing at the Golden Land resort hotel—originally kept just for fresh meat—but this octopus god had unexpectedly high awareness: every time, without being asked, it severed its own tentacles and delivered them, even helping Dorothy cook by fetching ingredients.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>All for the hope of getting a piece of meat when dinner came.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Over time, this made the House Witch feel guilty about eating it, so she simply gave it to her senior as a pet—after all, Sister Fan always loved bizarre creatures.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Good boy, no octopus today—we’re eating squid. It’s stronger, and its meat tastes better.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Lord of the Yellow Robe tapped the green-skinned god’s octopus head with a tentacle.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The green octopus let out a mournful cry, reluctantly reattaching the severed tentacle.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It clearly resented the idea that its meat was inferior to the squid’s.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But this heartwarming scene shattered the squid’s composure—it was nearly cooked, and its bravado collapsed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Yes, I ate humans—but who in this world doesn’t eat humans? Don’t you witches eat humans too?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It asked from within the pot.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy paused.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It was a true statement—just as humans considered monkey brains a delicacy, witches saw other humanoid beings as no higher than monkeys in human eyes.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Strictly speaking, witches don’t eat humans—they’re close kin.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But “human” here depends on whether you mean humanity broadly or the human race narrowly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Witches only avoid eating humans; other humanoid species? Well, the witch world is vast—even the most niche tastes have sizable followings, and lately, some once-obscure ones seem to be trending.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But why are you asking me, a lowly little witch?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy was speechless.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She silently turned up the heat.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then, the screams in the pot faded, then vanished.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But now, other tentacles were screaming.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Cai, why didn’t you answer that guy’s question?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>One tentacle beneath the Yellow Robe lifted itself, then opened an eye like a sheep’s, sprouting a beautiful human mouth; a familiar voice emerged, sounding confused.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The House Witch: “??? ”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh no, she knew her senior was having another episode.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Why answer that?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She brushed the unruly tentacle aside irritably and continued cooking.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, the squid tentacles were now blanched—next, the meatballs.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>With a flick of her tentacle, a piece of squid tentacle flew up, mixed with minced onion and scallions, then coated in batter, forming small meatballs.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Another flick—her golden pot transformed into a dantian furnace; she tossed the squid meatballs inside and began refining pills.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Why not answer? That thing may deserve death, but its words were true—witches eat humans too.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Sister Fan wouldn’t be so easily dismissed; she pointed to the fridge and continued.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Modern witches are no different from the old angels—we’ve become new calamities.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy: “.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The House Witch hadn’t expected a trip to the pantry to trigger another episode—she’d actually been about to praise her ridiculous senior for finally not embarrassing herself, having cooperated smoothly to capture the Squid God.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Well, the squid god had some presence—its magical aura rivaled a Sage’s—but in actual combat, it turned out to be merely peak-tier, lacking true Sage authority.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Such native pseudo-gods are always like this—their strength largely drawn from world power; had the squid god remained in its deep-sea realm, it might have reached half a Sage’s level.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But once outside its origin world, its power collapsed drastically—nowhere near the strength of witch Sages, who can create their own worlds and stand as self-contained entities.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Of course—if the squid god had truly been a Sage, it would’ve spotted Sister Fan atop Dorothy’s head immediately, and never chosen Dorothy as its target.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And though Sister Fan can’t handle peak battles, she crushes weaklings with brutal efficiency—this squid god was easily tossed into the pot.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But Dorothy never expected the squid god’s final psychological blow wouldn’t shake her—it had shaken her already-deranged senior.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fine, considering why Sister Fan went mad—she’d been driven insane by similar questions.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The House Witch extended a tentacle to scratch the Yellow Robe’s hood, helplessly watching the earnest tentacle-eye of her senior, thinking how to answer.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But before she could speak, someone else spoke first.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Hah, why overthink it? It’s weak, you’re strong—weak perish, strong survive. That’s all there is to it.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Astrós entered the kitchen, speaking as she eagerly watched the roasting meatballs in the strange furnace.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Um, Goddess, you—”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy, startled, turned to look at Astrós; she’d been about to apologize for using the kitchen, but one glance made her Yellow Robe nearly turn red.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Could you please put on some clothes?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She blinked, saying this.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, when she’d looked up at this goddess in the bathroom in her normal form, she’d felt nothing—just “mountain isn’t mountain.” But now, at equal scale, the mountain was unmistakably a mountain—unbearable.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Which little witch could withstand such stimulation?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She recalled Guinivere saying this Wealth Goddess was a exhibitionist—she’d thought it was just banter, but now she had to believe it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Tsk, this is my house.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Astrós complained, but seeing Dorothy turn away, she smiled and snapped her fingers—gold ceremonial attire grew from her body.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy sighed in relief.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But then she heard the overly energetic Wealth Goddess laugh.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“This outfit is just my Dragon Scale mimicry—it’s essentially my skin. I’m still completely naked.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The House Witch: “.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh no\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Faced with such blatant teasing, Dorothy didn’t know what to say.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her silence made the Wealth Goddess laugh harder.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Hahaha, alright, I won’t tease you anymore—but you youngsters are easily fooled by appearances, obsessing over things that don’t matter.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Wealth Goddess said.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy froze—she felt the goddess meant something deeper.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But Astrós said no more; her plump figure leaned against the counter, eagerly watching the dantian furnace.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, she’d missed breakfast in the palace—but now she was at home, and she’d have the first hot bite.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The House Witch turned back to her senior.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But the tentacle representing her senior now looked noticeably wilted.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Clearly, Astros’s recent words about the survival of the fittest had shaken her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Are the strong always right? Is weakness a sin?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She murmured to herself, lost in confusion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy could understand her senior’s confusion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After all, she had already confessed it herself: this Fourth King should never have existed. Her birth was an experiment by the Three Kings upon the Almighty, consuming nearly all the resources accumulated during the Great Expedition era to create her—and thus, from the moment she was born, she carried original sin, burdened with the despair and curses of countless worlds destroyed and plundered by the Witches.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Whether this Fourth King is a blessing or a curse to the Witch World is truly hard to say.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Though her senior laughed and joked every day like a joker, she was never like Aty, lacking that innate, malicious joy. Her joker persona was merely an imitation of her Demon Lord teacher; she used this attitude of watching entertainment to mask her own confusion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After all, the Three Kings had never given her any guidance—no demands, no expectations, merely leaving her to fend for herself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Sigh.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Home Witch sighed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then she opened the alchemical furnace before her, pulled out a squid ball directly, and shoved it into her senior’s mouth while she was still in her “Yuyu” state.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Astros: “.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>o(╥﹏╥)o, my first warm bite…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Goddess of Wealth wept in anguish.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As for the tentacle senior…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“How’s the taste?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy asked.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“So delicious! I want another one.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Senior Fanni shook her tentacles and said so.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Heh, why weren’t you Yuyu when you started eating?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Home Witch asked coldly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Senior Fanni: “.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her tentacles immediately tried to droop again, but the delicious morsel still in her mouth kept her from collapsing.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I’ll Yuyu after I’m full.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The senior thought for a moment and said so.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy replied irritably.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You know you’re not full yet, so stop Yuyu nonsense. Wait until you’re full before you start thinking about this crap.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Ignoring this erratic senior, she turned and handed the remaining squid balls from the furnace to the goddess, whose eyes were already welling up with tears.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I’m sorry, Lady Astros. Thank you for your gift—I really like this pot. I have nothing good to return with, so I’ve borrowed your kitchen. Please taste it and tell me how it is.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dorothy said so.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Goddess of Wealth: “(*▽*)”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Astros’s face instantly lit up with a smile. She didn’t refuse, happily taking the furnace—but she didn’t take all the squid balls, only about half.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I only need these. The rest can be shared with everyone at the banquet.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She decided so.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yes, as one of the Dragon Heads, her original sin is called “Show-off.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Preparing the banquet…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Sigh, always getting stuck on weird things—so annoying.\u003C\u002Fp>",1982,"2026-06-21T03:49:48.467Z",1,"Qwen3-Next 80B","21a3f8633d755cdece40d00a9c66cba967658187b06e30f0b02c3477ea52943b","armed-witch-chapter-951","armed-witch-chapter-949",1000,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Farmed-witch-cover.jpg"]