Chapter 103: Screwing People Over

Ever since Wang Cheng'en came to Dongjiang, Mao Wenlong had felt his days getting better and better.

Military pay and rations were no longer in arrears — ships from the Dengzhou-Laizhou naval force delivered them before the due date. As for grain, Joseon had begun supplying army provisions some time ago.

And the army overseer? The palace had dispatched a new overseer, which was only to be expected — after all, he was commanding troops isolated beyond the sea, so sending an overseer was perfectly normal.

And although this overseer was, just like the previous ones, still a damned eunuch, this eunuch was fundamentally different from the overseer eunuchs who had come before.

Not only could the damned eunuch read and write, but apart from his habit of chatting idly with the rank-and-file soldiers and verifying battle merits after engagements, in all other matters — military operations or the troops' daily training — the fellow simply never interfered with him at all.

As for the Embroidered Uniform Guard fellow who had suddenly arrived a few days earlier, he wore an even more rigid deadpan face and likewise kept his nose out of everything.

Other than informing him that this mission involved confidential matters connected to the newly appointed Liaodong Governor-General Yuan Chonghuan, nothing else could be pried out of him. Every day he just followed him around idly.

Apart from these two baffling individuals, everything else made Mao Wenlong feel that life was rather pleasant.

Whenever he felt like it, he would lead his troops over to the Jianzhou barbarians' territory for a jaunt — if there was an advantage to be had, he took it; if not, he ran. One dead barbarian meant one fewer barbarian.

He'd haul the pigtails back and exchange them for silver with that damned eunuch. It was truly delightful.

The days passed one by one like this, until today, when the Jianzhou barbarians sent an envoy.

Had it not been for that damned eunuch and the deadpan Embroidered Uniform Guard man's curiosity about the Jianzhou envoy's purpose, he would have preferred to simply truss the man up, ship him back to Dengzhou-Laizhou, and then forward him on to the capital to be sliced to death.

Inside the army's main tent, the damned eunuch was keeping a record, and that deadpan Embroidered Uniform Guard man had disguised himself as a personal guard, intending to see just what this envoy had to say.

Mao Wenlong looked at the man before him, unsure what to make of him.

The man was still dressed in the manner of a Confucian scholar, yet he had shaved his head — his entire scalp gleaming conspicuously — and trailing from the back of his head was a queue of the coin-and-rat-tail style, which looked utterly ludicrous.

The man in Confucian scholar's garb, however, was utterly untroubled by his own ridiculous appearance; on the contrary, he seemed rather self-satisfied. Smiling amiably, he said, "General Mao, a dragon among men — my Great Khan has long heard of your renown.

Today he has specially dispatched this Tang to come and discuss certain matters with you, Great General Mao."

Having spoken, he glanced at the Embroidered Uniform Guard man dressed as a personal guard standing beside Mao Wenlong, signaling for Mao Wenlong to dismiss him.

Mao Wenlong, however, laughed and said, "No matter. This man has always guarded this general's side and never leaves it by half a step, nor is there any matter that requires him to withdraw. If the envoy has something to say, speak freely."

The envoy cursed inwardly: Never leaves by half a step? Does he not leave by half a step when you're getting intimate with your wife at night either? To go this far to curry favor and buy loyalty, you, Mao Wenlong, are truly shameless enough.

Though inwardly grumbling without cease, the envoy still smiled and said, "Allow me to inform you, Great General Mao: my Great Khan now exerts himself to govern and is both magnanimous and broad-minded.

He ardently admires a worthy talent such as yourself, Great General Mao, and wishes to treat you as the Marquis Who Pacifies the South. What does Great General Mao think of this?"

Mao Wenlong thought to himself: To hell with your Marquis Who Pacifies the South! If I were willing to surrender, which of the soldiers under my command doesn't share a blood feud with the Jianzhou barbarians?

Who would follow me in surrendering to their mortal enemies? If I surrendered alone and empty-handed — Marquis Who Pacifies the South?

I'm afraid I couldn't even keep my own head. Marquis my ass.

Besides, after what he and that son of a bitch Liu Xingzuo had done in Liaoyang, did he not have a clear idea in his own mind? Hong Taiji probably wanted nothing more than to flay his skin. And now he was offering a marquisate? Did he really take him for a three-year-old child to be fooled?

Thinking this, he smiled outwardly and said, "Oh? Your Great Khan does not hold against me the offenses I committed in Liaoyang? Furthermore, a marquisate — does your Great Khan intend to unify all under heaven and establish dominion over the realm?"

The envoy said proudly, "Indeed, precisely so. The barbarian Ming is now without the Way, and the Chongzhen Emperor's cruelty rivals that of Jie and Zhou.

At the slightest defiance, he resorts to death by slow slicing and exterminates nine degrees of kinship. This Tang has heard of such things even in Liaodong.

Cruelty to this degree is truly shocking to hear. Once my Great Khan raises the righteous banner, will not the whole world follow like a shadow?"

Mao Wenlong, however, chuckled and said, "Mister Tang, you certainly have a silver tongue. But since I see that you, Mister Tang, are also a well-read scholar, I would like to ask you a question, and I hope you will not begrudge your instruction."

That Mister Tang said, "Great General, you flatter me. This Tang has merely read a few books and can recognize a handful of characters. If the Great General has something to say, please speak directly. This Tang is all ears."

Mao Wenlong laughed and said, "What a coincidence — I, too, have read a few books. I recall that Confucius once said: 'But for Guan Zhong, we should now be wearing our hair loose and folding our lapels to the left.' I wonder what Mister Tang would teach me from this?"

Hearing this, that Mister Tang cursed Mao Wenlong inwardly for being a thorough scoundrel — wasn't this openly mocking a monk by calling him a bald donkey, insinuating that he had surrendered to the Jianzhou barbarians and become a savage himself?

Instantly, his expression changed with fury as he said, "My Great Khan has received Heaven's mandate to deliver the people from dire misery. Is not the Great General's remark going too far?

This Tang's submission to my Great Khan is acting in accord with Heaven. Should the Great General prove so blind to the times, I fear that once my Great Khan's heavenly troops arrive, you shall instantly be ground to dust!"

Hearing this, Mao Wenlong burst into roaring laughter that shook the roof tiles and bellowed, "Alright, alright! I'm done jawing with a shameless wretch like you. You're willing to surrender to the Jianzhou barbarians — I am not. You're willing to be a dog; I still want to be a man."

Having spoken, he shouted toward the tent entrance: "Guards! Seize this dog of a thing!"

But before the guards outside could enter, that deadpan Embroidered Uniform Guard man behind him lunged forward directly, seized this Mister Tang on the spot, and grinned savagely: "No need to trouble anyone else. For this sort of task, I am happy to serve the Great General."

Although Mister Tang had been thrown to the ground and bound by the Embroidered Uniform Guard man, he cried out in shock and fury: "Mao Wenlong! Even when two states are at war, envoys are not executed. Now that you act in this manner, do you not fear the ridicule of all under heaven?!"

Mao Wenlong, however, laughed and said, "The ridicule of all under heaven? What the hell does that have to do with me? All I know is that by escorting you to the capital, I'll have earned a major merit. What use do I have for those empty reputations? Can you eat them or drink them?"

The Embroidered Uniform Guard man also laughed and said, "The Great General speaks truly. What use are those empty reputations? With this wretch, the Great General has indeed earned a major merit."

Mao Wenlong laughed and said, "No rush to escort this traitor to the capital. Let me first draft a letter to that brat Hong Taiji, telling him that this fool happened to be seized by an envoy from the capital who was visiting here.

Then let that brat Hong Taiji send another envoy — when the time comes, won't we be able to nab another one? As the saying goes, good things come in pairs.

Escorting two of them to the capital together — that would put some luster on my face too."

Hearing this, that Mister Tang cursed furiously: "Despicable! Shameless!"

Mao Wenlong, not showing the slightest anger, merely chuckled and said, "I am honored by Mister Tang's praise. You flatter me, you flatter me indeed!"

(End of Chapter)