Chapter 112: Stirring the Shit

Chongzhen pondered for a moment, then said, "We have heard that the grace of a noble house expires after three generations. The Book of Changes also says, 'Heaven moves with vigor; the noble man ceaselessly strengthens himself.'"

"The Great Sage, the Ultimate Teacher, is a peerless sage of our Huaxia, and the preeminent luminary of our Great Ming's orthodox teachings. By all normal reasoning, no matter how generously We treat his descendants, it would never be excessive."

"Yet among his later descendants, there have been many unworthy ones, such as Kong Yanzhi and Kong Xingxie.

Further back, there was the Kong Mo usurpation, which nearly exterminated the bloodline. It seems, as the 'Fu Feng' says, that after seven days comes reversal; thus, what flourishes to the extreme must decline."

"Now, men like Kong Yanzhi and Kong Xingxie have secretly colluded with the Jianzhou barbarians, smuggling ironware and grain to them.

This is aiding the enemy. They utterly disregard the distinction between Hua and Yi that the Great Sage himself expounded.

This is truly the act of ingrates who have forgotten their ancestors, utterly unworthy to serve as teachers to the world."

"Therefore, We intend to strip them of their title, arrest the northern lineage of Kong Yanzhi for punishment, and have the southern lineage inherit the title of Duke of Yansheng. We wonder what our beloved Minister Kong thinks of this?"

Hearing this, Kong Zhenyun felt as if ten thousand divine beasts were stampeding through his heart. Did he want to inherit the title? Of course he did. Who would pass up a dukedom to play at lofty integrity?

But the timing Chongzhen had chosen was absolutely abysmal — springing this in front of the full civil and military assembly of the grand court. How was he supposed to answer?

If he agreed to inherit the title, the world would gossip about the southern lineage, saying they were at odds with the northern lineage, and that today's affair was likely his own southern lineage slandering the north.

If he refused, given this Emperor's temperament, the title of Duke of Yansheng would probably be lost right here in his hands, and he would become the sinner of the entire Kong clan! No matter what, preserving the title of Duke of Yansheng was the urgent priority.

As for Kong Yanzhi, he could go die!

After much deliberation, Kong Zhenyun could only say helplessly, "Reporting to Your Majesty, the ancients said no man is perfect. If the current Duke of Yansheng has truly colluded with the Jianzhou barbarians, then naturally the law of the land shall deal with him."

"However, your humble servant is of meager fortune and shallow virtue, unworthy to inherit the title of Duke of Yansheng. Your servant believes Your Majesty could select another worthy candidate from the northern lineage to assume it."

Chongzhen ignored Kong Zhenyun, whose heart was bleeding, and turned to the many court officials, asking, "What do you ministers think?"

The court officials, who had originally thought Chongzhen intended to abolish the Duke of Yansheng title entirely, now harbored widely differing thoughts.

Some, like Shi Fenglai, felt that merely stripping the title was nothing — it would be best to execute the entire northern lineage.

Others, like the Censors and remonstrance officials, felt that Kong Yanzhi, after all, was the current Duke of Yansheng, and even if he were to die, he must die with some dignity; otherwise, it would truly be the greatest laughingstock of the dynasty in nearly three hundred years.

Seeing that none of the officials wanted to stick their necks out first, Chongzhen called on someone by name: "Beloved Minister Shi, what procedure do you think is appropriate?"

Cursing Chongzhen inwardly for selling out his teammates, Shi Fenglai said helplessly, "Reporting to Your Majesty, your servant believes the northern Kong lineage is unworthy to tend the Sage's family temple and should be investigated and punished."

But before Chongzhen could rejoice, Shi Fenglai added, "However, since ancient times, there has been the saying that punishment does not extend to grand ministers. The line of Kong Yanzhi is, after all, descended from the Sage.

The Duke of Yansheng's fault is the crime of one man. Your servant believes it is inappropriate to extend mass executions to the entire northern lineage."

Looking at the silent acquiescence of the other court officials, and then reflecting on what Shi Fenglai had said, Chongzhen truly felt a strong urge to slaughter all the ministers in the court and replace them with a new batch.

Thinking about the aftermath of slaughtering the court ministers, Chongzhen shook his head inwardly and said, "Beloved Minister Shi speaks reason. It is indeed inappropriate to excessively slaughter the descendants of the Sage."

"In that case, Wang Cheng'en, draft an edict.

The Duke of Yansheng, Kong Yanzhi, and his son Kong Xingxie are perverse and unworthy to tend the Sage's family temple. They are to be stripped of their title and granted death by suicide.

All those implicated in dealings with the Jianzhou barbarians are to be put to death.

Except for the Confucian Forest, the Confucian Temple, and the lands originally owned by the northern lineage clansmen themselves, all remaining property is to be confiscated and converted to imperial estates, to be farmed by landless people relocated from Shanxi."

"A separate edict: the southern lineage's Kong Zhenyun shall inherit the title of Duke of Yansheng, take charge of the northern lineage, open the central gate, and welcome back the former worthies of the southern lineage, thus uniting north and south into one.

We hope you, minister, will properly discipline your family and not repeat the mistakes of the northern lineage."

After handling the matter, ignoring the officials' chorus of "Long live the Emperor," a thoroughly frustrated Chongzhen simply dismissed the court.

Thinking of how that old rogue Liu Bang had once used a Confucian scholar's hat as a kickball and even pissed inside a Confucian scholar's hat, Chongzhen grew increasingly furious.

He had originally intended to eliminate both the northern and southern lineages in one stroke and smash the Kong shop entirely.

He had not expected such a strong reaction from the court officials, forcing him to change course on the spot and leave the southern lineage intact to continue disgusting him.

When Shi Fenglai came for a private audience, the increasingly aggrieved Chongzhen fixed him with a rather hostile glare and asked, "Speak. Why did you oppose it? Do you think We don't know what you were thinking?"

Shi Fenglai, secretly lamenting his fate and practically wishing he were dead, had no choice but to steel himself and say, "Reporting to Your Majesty, the reason your servant opposed it is not that your servant does not wish to excise this malignant tumor, but that it cannot be excised.

The northern Kong lineage is like a bone-gnawing parasite. Since its establishment under the false Yuan, its roots have long grown deep and tangled.

Even the scholars of the world regard the northern lineage as the orthodox line of the Sage."

"If Your Majesty forcibly issued an edict to eliminate them today, leaving aside whether anyone would even carry out the edict, what would the scholars of the world do if Your Majesty forcibly eliminated them through the Depot and the Guard?"

"Your servant believes that governing the realm still depends on these scholars. Therefore, we can only proceed slowly and gradually."

"Proceed slowly and gradually. Heh. A fine 'proceed slowly and gradually.' Very fine indeed." Chongzhen sneered inwardly.

Shi Fenglai, however, said, "Your Majesty, if you truly wish to excise certain malignant tumors, it is not impossible."

Chongzhen said, "Speak!"

Shi Fenglai said, "Your Majesty's edict today ordering the northern and southern lineages to merge into one is, in fact, a brilliant move.

When the time comes, the northern and southern lineages, in their struggle for power and profit, will likely start fighting among themselves first. They will inevitably have no attention to spare for anything else.

Your Majesty can use this time to cultivate personnel and revive the teachings of the Legalists, Mohists, Agriculturalists, and other schools. When that time comes, Confucianism will be nothing special."

Chongzhen, rather surprised, stared at Shi Fenglai and said, "Is our beloved minister not also a student of Confucianism?"

Shi Fenglai gave a dry chuckle and said, "Your Majesty, your servant indeed studied Confucianism. However, the more your servant read, the more doubts arose in his heart."

"Your servant has extensively reviewed the scriptures and doctrines of many schools of thought, and has found that the only ones truly worthy of being called utterly useless, apart from the Lu Confucians of the Former Han, are the Confucian scholars under the Cheng-Zhu school of principle."

"Such learning is of no benefit to governing the state, so your servant switched to the Gongyang school. The learning of the Gongyang school, however, is quite different from that lot."

As he spoke, Shi Fenglai actually grew angry: "The Sage begot cowards, and his learning was passed on to scoundrels! These bastards, instead of carrying forward the Sage's learning, are everywhere scheming for their own self-interest. They are simply smearing the Sage's name!"

The Chongzhen Emperor, a shut-in from a later era, had no idea what the Gongyang school was. If you just said the word 'Gongyang' to him, he was liable to interpret it as a male breeding goat.

Chongzhen very much wanted to embody the spirit of "knowing what you know and not knowing what you don't know" and ask what exactly this Gongyang school was, but after thinking it over, he ultimately did not ask.

After Shi Fenglai withdrew, Chongzhen instructed Wang Cheng'en, "Compile the materials on all the various schools of Confucianism and bring Us a copy."

The update is a bit late.

(End of Chapter)