Chapter 13: To Lay Down One's Life for Righteousness, to Ruin One's Family for the Nation

Liu Xingzuo's heart gave a lurch — a sinking feeling struck him. He pushed open his old mother's door, only to see her hanging from a beam, a wisp of her departed soul long since flown south to her homeland.

His wife, who had come with him to pay morning respects to her mother-in-law, managed only a single cry of "Mother!" before fainting dead away.

Liu Xingzuo had always believed that his long years in the army, his familiarity with life and death, had hardened his heart to iron and stone — that nothing left in the world could move him. He never imagined that at the sight before him, a shock would seize his heart.

He rushed over at once, cut his old mother down from the rope, and saw a letter on the table, but he did not even glance at it — he thrust it directly into his breast, then carried his old mother to the bed and laid her out.

Turning it over and over in his mind, Liu Xingzuo could not help but secretly blame himself. He could only conclude that last night he had pressed his old mother too hard to flee south with him, and she, unwilling to be a burden to him, had taken the rope and ended her own life.

In that moment, he wished only that he himself were dead, if it could bring his old mother back.

Yet Liu Xingzuo was no ordinary man. Years of hiding his true heart while plotting his return south, years of experience dancing between life and death among the Tartars — these still allowed him to regain his composure in the first moment.

Liu Xingzuo laid out his mother's remains, gathered his wife into his arms, and only then took out the letter and read it. It was precisely the final letter his mother had left behind:

"My son Xingzuo:

When you read this, do not grieve. Mother has gone on ahead.

Ever since you were small, Mother has never deceived you. Only this once, Mother must break her word.

Mother knows my son is filial, and would surely find a way to bring Mother south with you, back to the Great Ming.

Yet this return south involves many people, and the stakes are grave. The Jianzhou barbarians are now powerful, and they have many horsemen.

Should matters turn urgent, it may not be possible for everyone to escape safely. If it were only us, mother and son, that would be one thing — but all those returning south have placed their trust in my son.

You must therefore consider everything thoroughly. You cannot, for Mother's sake alone, place everyone in danger — that would be unrighteousness.

This is the first reason.

The second reason: to break one's family for the sake of the nation is the fundamental duty of a subject. This time, Mother goes on ahead to see your father, and to let him know that our son is now returning south to his native land, to serve the Son of Heaven.

Your father would surely be glad. If Mother were still here, and matters grew urgent, then if my son surrendered again to the Jianzhou barbarians, he would be disloyal; if he refused to surrender, he would be unfilial.

This would surely place my son in an impossible dilemma.

As for Mother's remains — my son may cremate them, and bring Mother's ashes back to our homeland for burial. To be buried in the soil of our native land — Mother's heart would be fully content. Only that I cannot live to see the day my son is enfeoffed as a marquis — this I deeply regret.

Henceforth, my son must serve the throne with all loyalty. Otherwise, even beneath the earth, Mother shall harbor an everlasting, bitter resentment."

Reading through his tears, Liu Xingzuo's face was already drenched. He understood now: last night, the pressure he had put on his old mother had been too great. In other words, he himself had driven his own mother to her death. He — he was the truly unfilial one!

Matters having come to this, Liu Xingzuo still made his decision swiftly. Once more he tucked his mother's final testament into his breast and secured it.

Then he first straightened his mother's appearance slightly, so that she did not look as though she had hanged herself, but rather as though she had passed naturally in her sleep.

He roused his wife, and before she could speak, clamped a hand over her mouth and instructed her: "Nothing of what happened here may be spoken of! To all outsiders, say only that the Old Madam longed for home too deeply and passed away last night.

Otherwise, every soul in the Liu household, high and low, will be in mortal danger!"

Liu Xingzuo's wife had, after all, seen some storms in her time. She nodded at once to show she understood.

Seeing this, Liu Xingzuo released his hand. He took down the rope, cut it apart, and threw it under the bed.

Only after making certain that nothing amiss remained in the room did he let loose a great wail of grief, crying bitterly: "Mother! How could you abandon your son and leave on your own!"

Seeing this, Liu's wife broke into loud weeping as well. The shock from before, and the grief she had forcibly suppressed until now — all of it burst forth in this moment, resolving into a single cry: "Mother!"

By now the sky had brightened. The maidservants in the compound, hearing a commotion from the inner courtyard, came hurrying over, along with Liu Xingxian, the steward, and others who had gotten word.

When they entered the Old Madam's room, they found the Old Madam lying on the bed, her body already stiff, while their master, Liu Xingzuo, knelt before the bed with his wife, both weeping like figures drowned in tears. Only then did they understand —

the Old Madam had passed away.

At the sight, Liu Xingxian ran to Liu Xingzuo's side, threw himself to his knees, and wailed, "Mother!" — then could no longer speak for sobbing.

The rest of the household, whether their grief was genuine or feigned, all knelt as well and gave themselves over to loud lamentation. A few maidservants, recalling the kindness the Old Madam had shown them, wept real tears.

In the end, it was the steward who rose first. He came to Liu Xingzuo's side, glanced at the Old Madam's remains, and supported Liu Xingzuo, saying, "Master, the Old Madam has gone. You must restrain your grief. The Old Madam's funeral arrangements still require you to decide on a plan."

Liu Xingzuo, his face streaming with tears, said in a choked voice, "Your master's heart is in utter chaos — I no longer know what to do. The most urgent matter is to have the Mistress and the Second Madam prepare the Old Madam's remains. All else can be discussed later."

The steward hastily bowed and assented, but then added, "Master, having the Old Madam's remains prepared first — that is only proper. But for a task such as this, to have the Mistress and the Second Master's wife do it — does that not seem somewhat improper?

Should we not send for a few old women to handle it?"

Liu Xingzuo flew into a rage at these words. He wheeled around and slapped the steward across the face, roaring, "You old dog!

The Old Madam loved those two most of all in life — what is improper about letting them prepare her remains? One more word of noise from you, and I will have your head without mercy!"

Seeing this, Lady Liu hurried forward and caught hold of Liu Xingzuo, saying, "Husband, calm your anger. This matter, let your wife and sister-in-law handle it."

So saying, she turned her head to Liu Xingxian's wife, who had just risen, and said, "Sister-in-law, you and I shall handle this. Do not provoke your elder brother further."

Then she addressed the steward and the other maidservants and servants: "You are not needed here. All of you, go attend to other matters."

After Liu Xingzuo had led Liu Xingxian out, and no one else remained in the room, Liu Xingzuo's wife said, "Sister-in-law, do not blame me. This matter is of grave consequence.

My husband did not explain it clearly to me, either — he only said that the slightest misstep could cost our entire family our lives."

Liu Xingxian's wife was a virtuous woman. Hearing this, she made no fuss, but only looked at her sister-in-law with a questioning gaze and pointed a finger toward the southeast.

Liu Xingzuo's wife first shook her head, then nodded and said, "I am not certain either. But I imagine that must be it. I only do not know why such a thing came to pass."

With an understanding now between them, the two women spoke no further. They patiently prepared their mother-in-law's remains, then called for a maidservant to bring the burial clothes that had long been kept ready, and changed the Old Madam into them. Throughout, they exercised the utmost care.

For those who die by hanging, there are two kinds. One kind dies from the cervical spine being snapped — in such cases, the outward appearance is generally unremarkable, and the ligature marks on the neck are shallow.

The other kind dies from the rope tightening until breathing ceases — death by suffocation. Compared to the former, in these cases the ligature marks are extremely deep, the tongue protrudes far from the mouth, and the eyeballs bulge out — a most horrifying sight.

With redoubled caution, the two women changed the Old Madam into her burial clothes and arranged everything meticulously, so that if the clothes were lifted, the ligature marks would not be visible.

Once everything was complete, only then did they call the Liu brothers back in.