Chapter 173: The Thick-Skinned and Black-Hearted Chongzhen

In the eyes of Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu, the Chongzhen Emperor was flawless in every way — he loved the people, was diligent in governance, frugal, and versed in military affairs. No matter how you looked at it, he was a perfect enlightened sovereign and sage ruler.

Yet there was one thing: this lord was far too willful.

Never mind that he acted on every whim — well, being an emperor is all about being happy, after all, so that in itself wasn't such a big problem.

But what the hell was this about an emperor not staying properly in the rear palace to enjoy his consorts, insisting instead on imitating your old ancestors and charging out onto the steppe at the head of cavalry to pick a fight?

The Jianzhou barbarians to the east haven't even been dealt with yet, hello!

The Chongzhen Emperor, however, clearly did not see it that way. Fighting a war — sure, he didn't know how himself, but he could learn from that famously old rogue in history, Liu Bang.

Wasn't it enough just to know how to handle people? As for the business of commanding cavalry in battle, weren't there Liu Xingzuo and Zhang Weixian for that?

He had come out here himself purely to farm reputation!

Obviously, in the Chongzhen Emperor's eyes, Ligdan Khan was a total pushover.

Sure, he had no problem bullying the Five Tribes of the Inner Khalkha and the Prince of Shunyi, those trash-tier fighters, but when he faced the Jianzhou barbarians, didn't they still beat him like a dog?

And the Jianzhou barbarian Hong Taiji had once been beaten like a dog by himself. From this, it followed that he could thrash that trash-tier fighter Ligdan Khan into a husky.

Although Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu had no idea where the Chongzhen Emperor got this baffling self-confidence, or who on earth had given him the nerve to lead cavalry deep into the great desert, as his ministers, they still had to remonstrate when remonstration was due.

Lu Xiangsheng deliberated for a moment before speaking: "Your Majesty, after all, possesses a body worth ten thousand in gold — why must you personally lead troops on campaign? If Your Majesty has any strategy, you could simply entrust it to the Duke of Ying and Commander Liu."

Chongzhen did not answer Lu Xiangsheng. In his heart, he was thinking: only a goddamn idiot would be unwilling to stay in the rear palace.

His own household had one empress and three consorts — which one of them wasn't delicate, tender, and dewy-fresh? But there were always some motherfucking bastards scheming to sell Us out, and on top of that, hang Us from a tree, you damned scoundrels!

Since that was the case, he might as well run out and lead an expedition against the Mongols. Anyway, a husky-level trash-tier fighter like Ligdan Khan was dead easy to deal with.

Even if he evolved into a Tibetan mastiff, hadn't We still studied Young Master Zhang the Dog's methods? Leading tens of thousands of cavalry to rob money, kill people, and wreak havoc on the steppe — just thinking about this sort of thing made him so excited he had to piss.

Chongzhen was just mulling over these random thoughts when Qin Liangyu spoke up, cutting off his chaotic train of thought: "This subject also believes that Minister Lu's words are reasonable.

Although Your Majesty's martial skill is extraordinary, the soldier's path is perilous and war is dangerous. This subject believes Your Majesty should remain in command at Xuanfu.

Furthermore, this subject wishes to impeach the Duke of Ying, Zhang Weixian, and the New Army Commander Liu Xingzuo for inciting the sovereign to personally lead a campaign, placing the Son of Heaven in harm's way."

Zhang Weixian and Liu Xingzuo looked at Qin Liangyu with faces full of helplessness. This old dame was not to be trifled with, but it truly wasn't something the two of them could have incited.

Who in the whole court didn't know how willful this emperor was? He was a lord even more willful and unreasonable than the Zhengde Emperor, all right?

The Chongzhen Emperor, having come back to his senses, waved his hand and said: "My two beloved ministers need not remonstrate further. This matter has nothing to do with the Duke of Ying or Minister Liu. It was We who insisted on coming."

Seeing that Qin Liangyu still wanted to remonstrate, the Chongzhen Emperor spoke before she could: "Besides, We are not going to the steppe on a muddled whim; there is another purpose."

What damn purpose do you have! You just want to go gallivanting around with a great army like those few ancestors of your house!

As the several of them were grumbling inwardly, they heard Chongzhen continue: "First, when We go to the steppe, We will have Minister Liu accompanying Us.

Moreover, there will be a host of experts from the Directorate of the Imperial Horses guarding the imperial person, so there should be no danger."

Chongzhen habitually rapped his knuckles on the table before continuing: "We wish to go to the steppe and take a look — to see how the herdsmen live, and what exactly is different from our Great Ming's Central Plains.

We also wish to see whether this ten-thousand-man force can truly reproduce the splendor of the Mongol iron cavalry. If it can, then the Jianzhou barbarians in Liaodong will simply not be worth worrying about."

"And most importantly, to see whether the steppe can ultimately be brought completely under our Great Ming's dominion."

So that's your most important goal! Just now you were just bullshitting the Prince of Shunyi and Jorightu Khan! Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu, along with Zhang Weixian and Liu Xingzuo, were at this moment utterly defeated by the Chongzhen Emperor's shamelessness.

A moment ago he was promising all sorts of titles and rewards — what territory, what spoils. In the end, they reckoned those barbarians might get their hands on some of the spoils, but as for the matter of territory, all one could say was heh heh.

Qin Liangyu, seeing that he could not be dissuaded, settled for the next best thing: "If Your Majesty is determined to personally lead the campaign, this subject requests that Your Majesty bring along this subject's son, Xianglin, and the White Rod Army to serve as guards."

Although Chongzhen was willful, and also had doubts about using the White Rod Army as cavalry, it was, after all, a kind gesture from Qin Liangyu. He could only wave his hand and say: "Minister Ma's son can be brought along.

As for the White Rod Army, bringing five hundred will suffice; the rest should remain at Xuanfu for defense. After all, this expedition is primarily cavalry-based.

Even for supplies, We do not intend to bring much."

Lu Xiangsheng, hearing this, recalled that someone in history had also done such a thing, and immediately asked: "Does Your Majesty wish to emulate the story of the Champion Marquis, living off the enemy's provisions?"

Chongzhen grunted in affirmation: "Correct. If our Great Ming handles the supply lines, the front will inevitably be stretched thin, and We would still need to wait for civilian laborers to transport goods.

Opportunities in war are often fleeting — how can one afford to wait? Moreover, this expedition uses two horses per man.

Even if we rely on mare's milk for sustenance, like those false-Yuan cavalry did, it should be enough."

Zhang Weixian and Liu Xingzuo, however, watched Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu with keen interest. These matters had already been discussed with the Chongzhen Emperor on the way here. They just wondered what expressions Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu would wear once they learned of Chongzhen's scheme?

Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu did not disappoint them. Their faces were filled with utter conflict — hard to tell if it was admiration, admiration, or perhaps admiration.

Chongzhen, of course, would not completely ignore what Lu Xiangsheng and Qin Liangyu thought. But if he didn't go for a jaunt around the steppe, how could he raise his prestige within the military?

Since ancient times, political power has grown out of the barrel of a gun. Without the guarantee of the army, Chongzhen felt that even if he made the heads of the Great Ming's civil official system roll in waves, it would actually be useless.

For those people who had gone mad for money, if the emperor dared to block their money-grubbing, they wouldn't mind switching emperors at all.

But if the emperor was like the founding Hongwu Emperor, that was an entirely different matter. No matter how many heads he made roll, as long as the army did not waver, no one could stir up any waves!

His mind made up, Chongzhen then asked Wang Cheng'en: "How are those young eunuchs you were told to bring along? Can they endure it?"

Wang Cheng'en, hearing this, bowed and said: "In reply to His Majesty, the lads' spirits are still good.

Although the training at the Directorate of the Imperial Horses is a bit harsh, the children also know this is an opportunity bestowed by Your Majesty, and therefore they all cherish it especially. By now, they have indeed adapted to the affairs of military life."

Chongzhen grunted and said: "Tomorrow, assign them down to the ranks. Have them carefully observe for Us — among the men in this ten-thousand cavalry, how many are die-hard loyalists of the Prince of Shunyi, and how many can be won over by our Great Ming.

Furthermore, they are not to interfere in combat operations; they need only accurately tally battle merits."

Seeing Wang Cheng'en bow in acknowledgment, Chongzhen then smiled and said to Lu Xiangsheng and the others: "Tomorrow, let us take another look at that ten-thousand cavalry cobbled together by the Prince of Shunyi and Jorightu Khan. If they are usable, we set out in the afternoon.

We shall bypass Ligdan Khan and go straight to his backyard to set fires. Here at Xuanfu, Minister Lu and Minister Qin, do your utmost to pin down Ligdan Khan."

——

Someone in the book review section asked how much money the author spent to boost the ratings to 'premium.' Let me tell you — on the first and second day of publishing this book, I gave out a total of 1150 Qidian coins in recommendation ticket red packets.

After that, printing and mailing the contract cost a few dozen yuan. Other than that, I haven't spent a single cent on this book.

If you still think I'm faking the data, then I can only tell you: do you think Qidian's signing editors are blind? Don't you have any damn clue in your heart how many Qidian long-term contracts there are in total?

(End of chapter)