Chapter 185: The Chongzhen Emperor Is Out of Money Again

Among the hundred officials, who could defy the Chongzhen Emperor?

The answer is no one. Once the Emperor cast aside all shame and acted willfully, the hundred officials, beyond obediently following orders and doing their jobs, truly had no damn recourse whatsoever.

It was just like Southern Han during the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period. Liu Chang, the last emperor of Southern Han, believed that any official with a family would never devote himself wholly to the state.

Therefore, he established a rule unprecedented and unrepeatable: if the great ministers wished to keep their posts, if scholars wished to enter court as officials, the first thing they had to do was undergo castration.

Even if you were a Buddhist monk, if you wanted to be an official, you had to be cut first.

With such absurdity, the scholar-officials still had to care somewhat about face, didn't they? If a normal man had his vital root down below removed, could he still be called a man? Could the scholar-officials endure it?

Yet the reality, more absurd than any novel, was that the scholars of the entire realm, in order to rise in rank, gain wealth, and bring glory to their ancestors, castrated themselves in droves.

The Southern Han state thus became a eunuch state, where everyone from the Grand Chancellor down to the County Magistrate was a eunuch.

The most pitiful were none other than the women of this small Lingnan kingdom, who watched their husbands turn into eunuchs, powerless to stop it, each one becoming a resentful wife.

You see, this is the true face of the scholar-officials. Never mind their hair — they could even cut off their own vital root, so why would they care about hair?

It was precisely because Chongzhen knew the true nature of these scholar-officials that he, utterly unconcerned, held a knife in one hand and a carrot in the other to intimidate them: either obey and eat the carrot, or go die.

Now the situation was the same.

Faced with the Chongzhen Emperor's willfulness, to say nothing of Meng Shaoyu, even Wen Tiren and the other Grand Secretaries of the Grand Secretariat agreed with helpless expressions — first perform the Chariot Sortie music and send the fallen soldiers into the Shrine of the Loyal, and as for presenting captives at the Imperial Ancestral Temple and the like, skip it.

After all this fuss, the course of events ultimately followed the Chongzhen Emperor's wishes — first the ashes of the fallen officers and men were sent into the Shrine of the Loyal, then the troops were ordered back to camp, and the Chongzhen Emperor himself returned to the imperial palace.

As for the Heaven-worshipping ceremony and such, the Chongzhen Emperor indicated he did not care; he would just issue an edict proclaiming it to the realm later and boast a bit.

It was just that after all this fuss over the whole procedure, even a procedure simplified and then simplified again, the time had already reached evening. And the Chongzhen Emperor, back in the palace, was in no mood to go to the rear palaces to "relax."

He first summoned Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai, along with Cui Chengxiu, and also Tian Ergeng and Xu Xianchun.

If "upright gentlemen" were to see the people before the Chongzhen Emperor, every one of them would likely beat their chests and stamp their feet, wailing that the hearts of men are degenerate and that treacherous sycophants swarm the court — never mind how foul the reputation of the Depot and the Guard was; Shi Fenglai and Cui Chengxiu had long been known to all the world as members of the eunuch faction, and the remaining Wen Tiren was a toadying, unprincipled petty man!

Chongzhen, as was his habit, rapped the table before him and asked Cui Chengxiu, "How are things over in Liaodong?"

Cui Chengxiu mentally organized the recent situation in Liaodong, then bowed and said, "Reporting to Your Majesty, the latest news from Liaodong is a battle report sent half a month ago. Mao Wenlong over there has been resisting step by step along the Dongjiang mountains.

Although Joseon has been waving flags and shouting, they truly cannot be relied upon over there."

Chongzhen grunted in acknowledgment and said, "Joseon, huh — waving flags is still somewhat useful, and they can fight when the tide is in their favor. Beyond that, we can't count on them."

As for Joseon's combat strength, the Chongzhen Emperor had never counted on it at all. That later-era film, something called The Admiral: Roaring Currents, was pure nonsense.

The actual situation at the time was that Joseon was pinned to the ground and beaten by Japan, the Ming army in turn pinned Japan to the ground and beat them, and as for how brilliant and mighty Joseon was — ha, yeah right.

Having never intended to count on Joseon for any real help, Chongzhen simply continued, "Then what about Mao Wenlong? What are his combat losses? Can he hold out?"

Cui Chengxiu deliberated a moment before replying, "According to the battle report Mao Wenlong sent half a month ago, they gathered many palm-thunder bombs together, buried them underground along the routes the Jianzhou barbarians had to take, then used bamboo tubes to make the fuses very long.

When the Jianzhou barbarians were halfway through, they lit the fuses, and did manage to blast and injure quite a few of them."

"In addition, the Dongjiang area has many mountains, so the Jianzhou barbarians' marching speed cannot pick up quickly for a while. Thus it is estimated they can still hold out for one to two months."

"As for combat losses, since there had been no large-scale engagement with the Jianzhou barbarians before half a month ago, the losses were not great. As for now, it is unclear."

After hearing the general battle report from Cui Chengxiu, Chongzhen grunted and then asked Xu Xianchun, "What about the Embroidered Uniform Guard's side?"

Xu Xianchun also deliberated a moment, then bowed and said, "Replying to Your Majesty, the secret reports from the Embroidered Uniform Guard are not much faster than those of Minister Cui from the Ministry of War.

According to a secret report sent back by scouts via carrier pigeon five days ago, the Jianzhou barbarians had only just reached Xianshan Fort to rest and regroup five days ago."

"Over on Duke Hu's side, he has already rallied the original Nine Tribes of Yehe and intends to attack the Khorchin tribe.

His intent is unclear. It is unknown whether he simply wants to force the Jianzhou barbarians to pull back in defense, to relieve the pressure on Grand General Mao, or whether he wants to unify the various Mongol tribes in Liaodong?"

Chongzhen grunted again and said flatly, "Whatever he is thinking, as long as he strikes Khorchin, he can relieve the pressure on Mao Wenlong, or perhaps truly force the Jianzhou barbarians to pull back in defense. It seems Our personal expedition to Liaodong is not so urgent after all."

As soon as Wen Tiren heard that Chongzhen was still thinking about the expedition to Liaodong, he immediately objected with immense frustration, "Reporting to Your Majesty, the previous incursion by Ligdan Khan already wasted vast sums.

In addition, the families of the soldiers who died in battle are still waiting for the court's compensation, and the conscripted civilian laborers must also be paid. All of this together is another enormous expenditure.

If Your Majesty personally campaigns in Liaodong again, I fear the national treasury truly cannot bear it."

The Chongzhen Emperor was equally frustrated. What about the money seized from the eight great locust merchants? It couldn't have just flown away, could it?

Thinking of this, Chongzhen asked, "Then what about the silver? We previously confiscated the property of those eight treasonous traitor-merchants who colluded with the enemy, and seized quite a bit of silver."

Wen Tiren smiled bitterly. "Your Majesty, silver is good, but it cannot breed more silver. The great drought in Shaanxi requires buying grain for relief — that alone is a huge expenditure. Over ten million taels of silver thrown in, and what comes back is merely boatload after boatload of grain."

"Over in Dongjiang, Mao Wenlong submitted a memorial saying those palm-thunder bombs are effective and requested more be sent over, the more the better, and also wanted them modified into a type that can be buried in the ground.

That is another expense. Although the silver for Xu Guangqi, Sir Xu, comes from Your Majesty's privy purse, and the Armory Bureau also draws from the privy purse, the purchase of all materials and such by the Arsenal Bureau still comes from the national treasury."

"After all this back and forth, the money in the national treasury is already running low, unless Your Majesty allocates some more silver from the privy purse."

Don't you damn well even think about it! The money in Our privy purse is the old reserve left by the Carpenter Emperor, and you lot still have designs on this pittance?

Had We known earlier, We wouldn't have given so much of the money seized from the eight great locust merchants to the national treasury — We should have kept it in the privy purse!

The Chongzhen Emperor was also worried. The money was gone — where to get more?

Everywhere needed spending, and the damn problem was that this silver couldn't damn well breed more silver. The fucking banking system still hadn't been sorted out to this day, and it had been nearly over half a year of one screw-up after another!

Fortunately, the Chongzhen Emperor before his transmigration had been a liberal arts student turned programmer, and his mental leaps were far from ordinary. Suddenly he asked, "Have the Prince of Rui, the Prince of Hui, and the Prince of Zhou entered the capital to take up their posts?"

Wen Tiren, who considered himself to have some understanding of the Chongzhen Emperor, guessed at once what the Chongzhen Emperor wanted to do upon hearing this — the bastard had his eyes on the Prince of Fu's family fortune, thinking about how to slaughter the fat pig.

But could we have a little face, please? Who doesn't know that back then your Uncle the Prince of Fu was favored, and your father was neglected?

If you just slaughter your Uncle the Prince of Fu like a fat sheep, what will the realm think? An internal feud in the imperial family?

No regard for kinship? Do you not know what the realm said after Emperor Wen of Han drove the Prince of Huainan to his death?

"A foot of cloth can still be sewn; a peck of grain can still be hulled.

Yet two brothers cannot tolerate each other." Has your Chongzhen Emperor never heard this ballad?

If it were the Chongzhen Emperor from before the transmigration, he would certainly have known this allusion. However, the transmigrator Chongzhen Emperor indicated: what damn ballad, We have never heard it — and even if We had, We'd treat it as unheard!

Even with the original Chongzhen Emperor's memories, it was still unheard! Damn Uncle the Prince of Fu, what does it matter to Us!

Yet Wen Tiren had no idea what Chongzhen was truly thinking at this moment.

Seeing the Chongzhen Emperor's expression remain unchanged, as if paralyzed, he had no choice but to bow and say, "Reporting to Your Majesty, His Highness the Prince of Rui, His Highness the Prince of Hui, and His Highness the Prince of Zhou have already entered the capital and are currently settling matters at the Imperial Clan Court."

As expected, the Chongzhen Emperor, who had never known what a bottom line was, did not disappoint Wen Tiren this time either: "Since they have all arrived, then summon the Prince of Rui, the Prince of Hui, and the Prince of Zhou to the palace to discuss how exactly to handle the matter of the Prince of Fu harming the people."

Saturday company annual meeting, causing the update to be too late. A sin, a sin.

(End of chapter)