Chapter 39: Bringing Out the Weapon of Mass Destruction

Watching the wooden puppets in the court, Chongzhen inexplicably recalled those ghost-animal videos he'd seen in the later age — all sorts of parody-dubbed versions of Downfall.

Chongzhen felt like he was the Führer in that bunker, a bunch of trash about to screw him over, while the Jianzhou barbarians were like the polar bear ready to charge in and smash him dead at any moment.

Just as Chongzhen was wondering whether to arrest and kill a few more people, Xu Xianchun, the Assistant Regional Regional Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard, suddenly stepped out from the ranks and reported: "Your Majesty, if this commercial tax is not collected, where will the dynasty get the silver to train troops?

Where will it get the silver to relieve the people?

As for the corruption that Sir Shi mentioned just now, your subject is dull-witted, yet I do have a small opinion."

Chongzhen, however, grew interested in Xu Xianchun's remarks. It had to be known that Xu Xianchun, one of the "Five Tigers," held a military post — sending him to fight and kill would certainly be no problem, but offering stratagems truly was asking a lot of him.

No matter what, having a subordinate actively step forward was a good sign and should be encouraged. Chongzhen immediately asked: "What lofty insight does Our beloved minister Xu have?"

Xu Xianchun said: "Reporting to Your Majesty, what Sir Shi worries about is simply that the officials and petty clerks below will engage in graft, and he also fears that those supervising them will collude with them.

However, what if we activate the Great Pronouncements instituted by the August Emperor Taizu Hongwu, and let the common people supervise the officials?

Take the territory of a single county as an example: even if the County Magistrate is corrupt, he may buy off one man, but can he buy off the entire county? Add the covert supervision of the Depot and the Guard, and corruption can be stopped."

The officials in the court, upon hearing this, began cursing inwardly.

Xu Xianchun truly lived up to being one of the Five Tigers of the eunuch faction — his methods were vicious enough indeed.

This move was tantamount to pulling the firewood out from under the pot — the common people were certainly unwilling to let officials be corrupt, but ever since the time of the Chengzu Emperor, this Great Pronouncements had gradually become a mere ornament in name only, so which mud-legged peasant would dare meddle in the affairs of the official masters?

Now that Xu Xianchun had brought out the Great Pronouncements, such a weapon of mass destruction, and added the Embroidered Uniform Guard to back up the mud-legged peasants, everyone in the court, even if they thought with their backsides, would know that those below would not dare to be corrupt lightly.

Then the question arose: if those below dared not be corrupt, where would the grandees in the court go to receive their "tributes"?

If the "tributes" from those below were gone, did they expect us Grand Secretaries of the Grand Secretariat and the Ministers of each ministry to personally go down and scrape for money? Did they still want the court to have any face?!

Chongzhen did not care what the assembled ministers in the court thought. In his view, as long as this foul wind of corruption could be stopped, supplemented by the commercial tax, the Great Ming would not perish!

He himself would also not need to constantly worry that some day a delivery man would come and force him to hang himself from a southeast branch.

The Chongzhen Emperor, whose dragon countenance was greatly pleased, decided to do just that. He even wanted to imitate a certain big shot's line: "Who is in favor? Who is opposed?!"

Chongzhen immediately ignored the faces of the ministers below, which looked as miserable as if their parents had died, and said to Wang Cheng'en: "Wang Cheng'en, draft the edict."

"Every household of the Great Ming's common people shall prepare a copy of the Great Pronouncements. We shall dispatch the local government offices to deliver it to each and every household. Whoever dares not deliver it, We shall send the Embroidered Uniform Guard to deal with them.

Those whose households possess the Great Pronouncements may take it to the county yamen and see whether your county officials have embezzled money. If they have, escort them to the capital, and We shall reward you heavily.

Children in households who are entering school must also study the Great Pronouncements diligently. In the future, the examinations will add content from the Great Pronouncements; those unfamiliar with it shall not become officials."

Having spoken, Chongzhen said to Wang Cheng'en again: "Draft the edict exactly according to what We just said. No extra words and no missing words are permitted.

It is imperative that the common people understand it clearly. This edict, like the Edict of Never Increasing Taxes, shall be proclaimed throughout the realm, so that the common people all know of this matter."

Chongzhen thought for a moment, then said to the assembled ministers: "Since the problem of supervision has been resolved, my ministers, let us discuss how this commercial tax should be collected.

We shall first set the tone: what farming households produce and use themselves shall not be taxed; those with small profits shall be taxed little; those with high profits shall be taxed much. For the rest, you ministers may supplement."

Since the matter of the commercial tax was already a foregone conclusion, and Chongzhen, who held the butcher's knife, had also set the tone, the assembled ministers had no choice but to fight for what they could, hoping to gain some advantages for themselves.

Seeing that no result would come from the discussion for a while, Chongzhen simply brought up another matter.

"This time when We went to Xuanfu, We ordered the confiscation of the property of eight traitorous households colluding with the Jianzhou barbarians, and the gains were considerable.

Now that there is money, We have also thought of raising the salaries of all the civil and military officials of the Great Ming. My beloved ministers, after you return, consider this carefully, and submit memorials later."

"Additionally, before We left the capital to pursue the Jianzhou barbarians, We had already ordered the Ministry of Works to supervise the construction of the Loyal Martyrs' Shrine. How is it progressing now?"

The Minister of Works immediately stepped out from the ranks and reported: "Reporting to Your Majesty, it is already the tenth month. No matter how we rush the work, it cannot be completed before the snow falls.

When that happens, under the beating of snow and wind, the quality will be difficult to guarantee. I beg to report that I took the liberty of making a decision and have already ordered the craftsmen to suspend construction, to resume when spring begins next year.

Your subject is guilty."

Chongzhen made an "mm" sound and said: "This matter is not to be blamed on Our beloved minister. The timing of the Jianzhou barbarians' assault on the pass was too coincidental; it is not your fault.

Since it has been suspended, let it be suspended for now. Only, do not disperse the craftsmen yet; await Our decree.

Chongzhen, however, recalled the awkward parts. Glass, cement, gunpowder — these were the mandatory artifacts for a transmigrator.

Gunpowder already existed; he didn't understand that stuff. As for glass, he only knew it was made by firing sand, but how to fire it? Damn it, before We transmigrated, We were only a code monkey, not an engineering dog!

Cement? We don't know how that works either.

At worst, We'll just get a bunch of stones, all kinds, try a bit of everything, fire them separately, and once they're burned to ash, that should be it, right? Then add a bit of water; whichever one solidifies and is especially hard, that would be cement, right?

The more he thought about cement, the more his heart itched. Chongzhen simply said: "Enough, that will be all for today.

My ministers, after you return, consider these two matters carefully. One is the commercial tax, the other is the salary increase.

Memorials should preferably be in plain speech; the more simply and clearly you explain the thoughts in your hearts, the better. You are all dismissed."

After the court withdrew, Chongzhen returned to the rear palace, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt his idea was reliable.

When he arrived at the place where the previous Tianqi Emperor had done his woodworking, Chongzhen suddenly remembered that Tianqi had been a carpenter; this patch of ground was only suited for carpentry.

If he wanted to research how to fire cement, it would still need to be cleared up.

Fortunately, Chongzhen was the Emperor. With a single command, the eunuchs and palace maids of the entire palace bustled into action. Some moved things, some swept and sprinkled the ground, and before long it was cleaned up.

Wei Zhongxian, who had rushed over upon hearing the news to attend, watched as everything before him was slowly cleared away, and thought again of the departed Tianqi Emperor. His nose stung, and his eyes reddened.

Seeing this, Chongzhen felt the memories of the original Chongzhen, hidden deep in his mind, also stirred up, but he forced himself to be spirited and barked: "What are you crying for! Our imperial brother has passed on, and We are grieved too.

But the mess Our imperial brother left Us, We still have to clean up.

Pull yourself together, send someone to the Ministry of Works, and summon some craftsmen who fire lime and bricks and tiles to enter the palace and come here. We have some matters to instruct!"

After thinking for a moment, he added: "Order that this place be renamed the Lu Ban Hall, to comfort Our imperial brother's spirit."

Where are the bookmarks? Where are the recommendation votes? Where are the tips? If you don't hand them over, We will release Wei Zhongxian!

(End of chapter)