Chapter 54: Never Letting Go

"Papa... you... you mean Brother Jian's Ocean's Tear didn't fall off?"

Ning Rongrong's eyes widened slightly, and even her tears slowed their flow.

Ning Fengzhi nodded and said, "You know the properties of the Ocean's Tear; this means Qin Jian's heart for you has never changed. He still loves you, and he has never once thought of giving you up."

"Is it... really like that?"

Ning Rongrong was stunned.

"But, my feelings for him haven't changed either, so why would my Ocean's Tear detach?" She asked, looking at the Ocean's Tear in her hand.

Ning Fengzhi thought for a moment and said, "Rongrong, this is where you and Qin Jian differ, and it is also where you fall short of him in this relationship."

"Where I fall short of him..."

Ning Rongrong asked urgently, "What is that?"

Ning Fengzhi said, "That is the understanding of oneself, and the conviction in the future."

"Do you know what you truly want? Do you know what you want to do in the future? Are you truly certain that you want to spend your whole life with Qin Jian?"

Ning Fengzhi's rapid-fire questions left Ning Rongrong stunned: "What is it that I truly want... do I really want to spend my whole life with Brother Jian..."

She was lost in a daze.

"When you are still lingering in the budding romance of youth and the hazy affections of your younger years, Qin Jian has long since seen through to his own heart."

Ning Fengzhi continued, "He knows what he wants, and he knows what he must do. He is very certain of where his feelings lie, and he knows even better what his greatest pursuit in this life is. He has never doubted his own feelings, so his love for you has not changed in the slightest."

"Even when temporarily separated from you, he still firmly believes that you two have a future. This is why he was able to keep the Ocean's Tear from detaching."

Ning Fengzhi reached out to gently wipe the tears from her face and said softly, "And you, Rongrong, you doubted just now. You were not confident in your mutual feelings. You didn't believe in him, nor did you believe in yourself, and you were even doubting the future. How could you receive the recognition of the Ocean's Tear like that?"

Ning Rongrong looked at the beautiful, glowing Ocean's Tear in her palm, lost in a slight trance.

"So it was because I didn't believe in myself..."

Tears flickered in her eyes again, but she forcibly held them back.

"Papa, I know what I should do now..."

She gave Ning Fengzhi a gentle smile.

That smile looked very sweet, but it made Ning Fengzhi's heart twitch.

Is this the price of growing up...

Learning to mask one's own emotions, learning to be considerate of a loved one's feelings...

"Papa, once I have completed the Fusion with the Ocean's Tear again, I will go find him..."

"By then, even if it's to the ends of the earth, I will be with him!"

She gripped the Ocean's Tear in her hand tightly, her gaze so determined that Ning Fengzhi almost didn't recognize her.

"Rongrong..."

Ning Fengzhi patted her thin little shoulder and said, "Since you have figured it out, then work hard. Thanks to the Tulip Qin Jian gave you this time, your soul power has already risen to level 27, and more importantly, your martial soul has become the Nine Treasure Glazed Tile Pagoda!"

He said solemnly, "This is the miracle Qin Jian brought you, so you must not let his efforts go to waste, do you understand?"

"Nine Treasure Glazed Tile Pagoda..."

Ning Rongrong raised her left hand, and her martial soul manifested.

As she watched it, she suddenly burst into tears: "Brother Jian, thank you..."

"There is one more thing that Qin Jian left for you; see for yourself."

Ning Fengzhi placed the letter Qin Jian had left in Ning Rongrong's hand, then pulled Jian Douluo away with him.

He had said what needed to be said and done what he could; what followed required Ning Rongrong to think for herself and confirm her own heart.

This is a path everyone must walk alone; no one can replace them...

"A letter Brother Jian left for me..."

Ning Rongrong opened it cautiously and saw a purple card inside the envelope.

It was not thin like ordinary stationery, but rather a finger's thickness.

Ning Rongrong opened it gently, and suddenly, the pleasant accompaniment of a guzheng and an ancient xun began to play.

Soon, a familiar singing voice emerged: "The moon is bright, the flowers fill the branches... someone is filled with longing..."

She covered her little mouth at once, her eyes misty with tears: "This is... the performance of 'Parting Thoughts' that Brother Jian and I did..."

The heart-wrenching song played again, sounding even more moving than when they had practiced it before.

Because Ning Rongrong finally understood that beauty, that nostalgia, and that helplessness.

She looked down at the crisp handwriting on the letter paper.

"Rongrong, when you see this letter, I will have already left the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Sect..."

"I am very sorry for not saying goodbye to you in person, because I know that if I did, I wouldn't be able to bear leaving..."

"I know you have many doubts, and perhaps even a great deal of resentment..."

Ning Rongrong shook her head subconsciously.

Even so, she had never felt a shred of resentment toward Qin Jian.

"There are some things I cannot tell you, because that is the rule."

"But no matter the heartache, no matter the sadness, I will bear it with you..."

"I don't know when it started, but you are like a part of my own body, impossible to cut away..."

"I really don't want to leave you, but the heavens are just that cruel..."

"Sometimes I wonder if my appearance is a burden to you; if not for me, you would still be that headstrong and willful little girl..."

"You would grow up happily, meet a boy you like, and... marry someone else..."

Ning Rongrong shook her head vigorously, tears streaming down.

"Rongrong... I truly hope that my appearance has brought you only joy and happiness... I truly hope you can be even happier than you would have been without me..."

"I like you so much..."

"Originally, what I wanted to write was, if you are uncertain about your feelings, if your heart has changed, if you have come to like someone else, then let go of our relationship..."

"But when I wrote down these words, my heart felt so uncomfortable, so painful..."

"Rongrong, for the first time I felt that the heart could have physical pain; it was not a mental imposition, but true, genuine heartache..."

"And so, I knew, I cannot be without you..."

"Therefore, I changed this passage a little..."

"Regardless of whether you understand your own heart in the future, and regardless of whether you might be attracted to others..."

"I, Qin Jian, will absolutely never let go!"

"Wait for me, one day I will marry you!"

"Because, you are my fiancée!"

"......"

Ning Rongrong smiled, then cried again.

She slowly crouched down and carefully held the letter paper in her arms.

"Brother Jian... it is impossible for Rongrong to change her heart... Rongrong will wait for you to marry me..."

The singing in the Sound Recording Box lingered on endlessly.

"With your every frown and smile..."

"You gift me eternal longing..."

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(End of this chapter)