Chapter 17: Yushui Drunk and Vomiting on Yi Zhonghai

The towel that was thrown out was merely the prelude.

The climax segment was He Yushui vomiting alcohol.

In Shazhu's heart, the nine-year-old child wondered whether drinking a liang of baijiu would make him act drunk and crazy or vomit, and this doubt was resolved by He Yushui's personal explanation.

He felt relieved.

The drunkenness needed to be expressed.

The alcohol also had to come out.

To show his kindness, Yi Zhonghai deliberately chose a sitting posture that allowed him to be eye-level with Shazhu: one with his back to He Yushui, a distance of just one chi, and the other facing He Yushui, a distance of less than one meter.

Both of them sat on this small stool.

Holding scheming thoughts, their attention was focused on each other.

They created convenient conditions for He Yushui's vomiting of alcohol.

Then came a retching sound.

The little girl who had been lying on the bed sprang up to sit straight, her drunken, hazy eyes pointing at Yi Zhonghai's head as she said something that made Shazhu unable to hold back laughter.

"Eh! Wrong! When did someone start walking while carrying a chamber pot? No, that's not it—this is the eldest uncle; when did the eldest uncle's head turn into this chamber pot?"

Head turned into chamber pot!

What a wild imagination!

Yi Zhonghai couldn't afford to argue with He Yushui; he smelled the alcohol on He Yushui's body and realized He Yushui was talking drunken nonsense.

The hypocrite is skilled at turning bad into good.

He Yushui said his head had turned into this chamber pot.

For the hypocrite.

It was also an opportunity to draw him closer to Shazhu.

To show his magnanimity.

Yi Zhonghai turned his head, smiled at He Yushui, and said, "You kid, you're drunk; take a good look—see whether this is the eldest uncle's head or a chamber pot."

He Yushui tilted his head and spoke earnest nonsense: "Brother, the chamber pot is speaking."

"Yushui, what chamber pot is speaking? This is the eldest uncle; if you dare to keep spouting nonsense, I'll beat you."

Yi Zhonghai felt he had come back to life.

He used Yushui as a means to carry out this scheme of buying Shazhu's favor.

"Zhuzi, what are you doing? The eldest uncle isn't angry, so why are you? How much did Yushui drink? Zhuzi, from now on you must not let Yushui drink alcohol anymore; she's still a child."

"Alright, I'll listen to you."

The hypocrite stretched his head as far as possible toward He Yushui, turning the original one-chi distance into half a chi.

"Yushui, look at me, see who I am—I am the eldest uncle; any talking chamber pot would become a fairy; this is a head, not a chamber pot."

"I see it now—you are the chamber pot."

As He Yushui spoke drunken nonsense, his mouth instantly turned into a sprinkler nozzle; the messy stuff in his stomach, starting from his mouth, shot rapidly toward the opposite Yi Zhonghai.

Yi Zhonghai's act of drawing closer to He Yushui to show his magnanimity became the greatest cause of his suffering.

The close distance was one factor.

Being caught off guard was another.

Anyway, everything He Yushui vomited sprayed completely onto Yi Zhonghai's cheeks; any vomit that didn't hit his head landed on his clothes.

In Shazhu's heart there was just one word.

Convinced.

He didn't even need to sweep the floor.

Yi Zhonghai helped bear the thunder.

"Eldest uncle, are you alright?"

Yi Zhonghai glanced at Shazhu.

He said nothing.

He felt a little resentful.

Is this my state of being alright?

He Yushui's vomit all landed on Yi Zhonghai's body, not even dirtying the floor of Shazhu's home.

Totally a case of trying to steal a chicken and ending up losing the rice used to bait it.

The hypocrite turned and left, needing to go wash up.

After He Yushui finished vomiting, he honestly lay down on the bed.

Shazhu fetched a hot towel, wiped the little girl's cheeks, and thought that next time he invited Xu Daming to a meal, he must not bring the little girl no matter what.

The door creaked open.

It was the eldest aunt.

In her hand she held twenty bills, each with a denomination of fifty thousand.

She had come to deliver money.

"Eldest aunt, is the eldest uncle alright?"

It was probably also because Yi Zhonghai's miserable state amused her.

The eldest aunt placed the money before Shazhu with a smile.

"The eldest uncle is fine! Is Yushui alright? This is emergency money left by the Great Qing when it departed, for you two siblings; the eldest uncle worried that you two would resent the Great Qing and refuse to spend it, so he planned to give it to you in his own name when you truly could no longer get by, and then, when you had grown up and established families, he would tell you the truth."

Truly worthy of being Yi Zhonghai's wise inner helper.

She was still beautifying for Yi Zhonghai.

I don't know if this is the eldest aunt's own idea or if Yi Zhonghai specifically instructed it.

I just told the eldest uncle that yesterday I couldn't let go, and it was because of Xu Daming making me angry; now I've let go, and the eldest uncle also told me that, and I don't resent our family's old man either.

"Has Old Yi told you?" The eldest aunt paused, hesitated for over ten seconds, then said about He Daqing mailing money: "Daqing isn't neglecting you; when he left, he made an arrangement with Old Yi: after the New Year, each month he'll mail you 85,000 yuan, as living expenses for you and Yushui; at month's end you can ask the eldest uncle for it, or the eldest uncle can deliver it to you."

Then thank you, eldest aunt, and also thank you, eldest uncle; when I have time, I'll slice some meat and treat you both to a meal, as repayment from us two siblings to you, eldest aunt and eldest uncle.

Shazhu gave the eldest aunt a polite response.

But he was thinking about He Daqing mailing money.

In his previous life, there was no such thing at all.

Shazhu never knew that He Daqing had mailed money to him and his sibling.

He guessed that He Daqing had mailed the money, but it was embezzled by Yi Zhonghai, who then gave it to Shazhu under the pretense of lending it to him.

Bangeng keeps stealing chickens and breaking his hands, anxiously about to be force-fed feces and urine; Jia Zhangshi is also from time to time beaten, has her legs broken, and sent to detention.

All of Shazhu's money was swindled away by Qin Huairu.

Well, mistakes happen.

He inadvertently learned the truth that he didn't know in his previous life.

When he has time, he will write a letter to He Daqing to ask about the specific situation.

The night passed without words.

The next day at seven o'clock.

On the stool, Shazhu, who had endured the night, opened his eyes with a yawn, randomly wiped his cheek, and added some coal to the stove.

Wait for the indoor temperature to rise.

Only then did he shout to wake the little girl still lying in bed.

"Yushui, get up, look what time it is, you don't want to go to school again?"

"Brother, I feel awful!"

He drank too much alcohol.

How could he not feel awful?

Drinking alcohol is precisely for the purpose of feeling awful.

If it's not awful, why drink alcohol?

"Do you know what you did last night?"

"I only remember drinking that spicy thing."

"Okay."

"I don't remember anything."

"Brother, that liquor is so spicy, how could you and Daming brother drink it so happily?"

What they drank wasn't liquor.

It was the meaning behind the liquor.

"Lie down for a while, I'll make you some egg soup to warm your stomach, then I'll go to class."