Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty I Cannot Love You

She still thought the barbecue here was really cheap and tasty.

Later, she brought Cheng Li over.

With the few pennies she picked up from scavenging, she said she would treat Cheng Li to barbecue.

A few pennies couldn't buy much, but he still gave each of the two kids two skewers of barbecue.

She didn't know then that Cheng Li was the Young Master of the Cheng family, because Cheng Li had none of the Young Master's nobility; instead, he was very approachable.

Cheng Li had never eaten at a place like this, so he wasn't used to it, but he didn't want Liuli to feel disappointed, so he ate.

Then he fell in love with this restaurant's barbecue.

Cheng Li was very fat as a child, having none of the Young Master's demeanor, so everyone at school mocked him.

Only Liuli protected him, with an air of fearing neither heaven nor earth.

Cheng Li had already made up his mind then that when he grew up he would protect her just as she protected him.

Later, Cheng Li's identity was exposed, because she insisted on taking Liuli to his house for a meal and had the servants prepare something better, wanting Liuli to eat well.

The first time Liuli went to Cheng Li's house, her eyes were dazzled; she had never seen such a big, beautiful house.

Cheng Li's parents all liked her, finding her sensible, smart, brave, and with good grades.

They then subsidized Liuli's tuition and paid her rent for many years.

Liuli said she would buy a house herself in the future, so only she and her grandmother would live there.

Cheng Li believed she could definitely do it.

In the car, Liuli's heart didn't know where it had drifted to.

Before, when she had worries, besides keeping them bottled up, she could also tell Cheng Li about them.

Cheng Li, just like a beam of light in her life.

When she needed him, he would appear.

Now she also wanted him by her side, but she couldn't.

Returning to the Gu Family, she washed up and then went to sleep.

She also didn't have the energy to think about unhappy things, as her grandmother's surgery was tomorrow.

It's just that he doesn't love her? She'll take her heart back.

Gu Die smoked several cigarettes in the hallway.

Lin Aunt seeing this didn't dare to advise him, knowing he only smoked when his mood was bad.

At such times, as a servant, she could do nothing.

Watching, she felt heartbroken, but there was nothing she could do.

Gu Die also didn't realize from when his mood began to be swayed by a woman's words.

This is probably also why his father doesn't let him get emotionally involved with girls.

Once you give your heart to someone, you can't take it back.

He entered and saw her sleeping so soundly, not knowing what feeling he had inside.

Those words came from her mouth so lightly, and she appeared indifferent as well.

He didn't know which version of her was the real her.

The next morning, it just happened to be the weekend; she hadn't had time to check her exam results before going to the hospital.

At a certain moment in the hospital, she still hoped Gu Die would come.

But up to now she still hasn't been able to wait for him.

「Grandma, you'll be able to see me after you come out in a moment. 」

Outside the operating room, Grandma tightly held Liuli's hand, unwilling to let go.

「Good. 」

Grandma still let go of her hand, looking at her as if it were their last glance.

It's surgery, so there will be risks; Grandma had long been mentally prepared, and Liuli was too.

「Grandma, rest easy with the surgery; I'll accompany her. 」

Gu Die came running from somewhere, his hair a little sweaty.

「Xiao Nie, Liuli I entrust to you. 」

「Good. 」

Hearing his promise, Grandma only felt at ease when she was pushed into the operating room.

She feared that if something went wrong with the surgery, she might never see her little angel again, so she took an extra look.

Outside the operating room, Gu Die and Liuli waited.

All that remained was silence.

Half an hour passed, an hour passed, one and a half hours…

Liuli waited while watching the time.

Finally the operating room door opened, the doctor sweating profusely.

「Who has O-type blood? 」 the doctor asked.

She isn't.

「I am, draw my blood. 」

Only his steady voice could be heard.

「Young Master…」

The doctor didn't dare to draw his blood.

「Quick. 」

More and more blood was drawn, and his face grew somewhat pale.

Liuli came to his side and took his hand; he doesn't love her, and she can't blame him—it's been nothing but her own illusion all along.

She still needs to thank him; without hesitation, he gave her grandmother a blood transfusion.

Doctor, how is my grandmother's condition?

She asked, the doctor shook his head, and she gripped his hand, tightening her hold noticeably.

Grandma will be fine, didn't you say that? She'll live to be a hundred years old.

He felt her tension, and despite his pale face, he continued to comfort her.

"Hmm." She nodded.

After drawing blood, the doctor entered the operating room; she held Gu Die's hand and didn't let go.

After an unknown amount of time, the operating room lights finally went out.

I don't know why her heart trembled slightly.

"Young Mistress, we've done our best; please accept our condolences." the doctor said, lowering his head deeply.

She felt her body go limp all at once.

Doctor... my grandmother...

"Doctor, please, can you save her?" she said while kneeling, "Please, help us..."

Young Mistress...

"Liuli." He tried to help her up, but she wouldn't rise, continuing to plead with the doctor.

Grandma, did she just go like that?

Even though she had steeled herself mentally, she still couldn't accept it; she knew asking the doctor wouldn't help, but she truly didn't know what to do.

"Young Mistress, go see your grandmother one last time." the doctor said, then bowed to the elderly person in the operating room and left.

Doctor... I beg you...

She wanted to chase after him, but Gu Die pulled her into his embrace.

He saw her tears swirling in her eyes, and heartbroken, he held her.

Let go of me...

"Cry if you want to." she heard his gentle voice.

She doesn't cry; her grandmother liked her to smile, so she smiles.

I'll go see grandmother.

Only then did he release her.

Liuli knelt by the grandmother's bedside; thinking that the grandmother would never wake again, never hear her voice again, her tears still flowed uncontrollably.

"If you want to cry, cry loudly." he pulled her into his embrace.

She was just shedding tears, not making a sound, and the light in her eyes dimmed.

She now only thinks about giving her grandmother a proper burial; having something to do will temporarily ease her grief.

At the grandmother's funeral there were few people: Cheng Li, Yu Ke, and Uncle.

It was unexpected that Gù lǎoyé also came, and Shen Zeyan as well.

She had no time to feel surprised; she didn't know how long it would take to move past the feeling of losing her only relative.

Cheng Li, Yu Ke, and Uncle merely stayed by her side, no one speaking to her.

She didn't want to speak, so they didn't ask; at this time, comfort was useless.

You shouldn't have come.

Gu Die and Ze Yan stood at the doorway; their black clothes made them look even more solemn.

She's like this, and you still have the mood to say these things?

Ze Yan countered.

How is she, what does it have to do with me?

Gu Die, hasn't anyone told you your lying skills are terrible?

Gu Die's gray-black hair, in the sunlight's refraction, looked more mature.

It is a maturity not appropriate for his age.

Ze Yan's gaze almost saw through Gu Die.

He had long realized that he loves her; being able to let the Gu Young Master eat barbecue at a small stall shows how important she is in his heart.

Moreover, the Gu Family arranged her grandmother's funeral, even Gù lǎoyé came.

And his gaze toward her— the look of liking someone cannot be hidden.

Knowing his weak point makes things much easier.

The funeral followed her wishes: simple, as her grandmother hadn't liked crowds in life; she wanted to send her grandmother off peacefully.

After the funeral, she went back to her part-time job; as long as she stayed busy, she wouldn't think of her grandmother.

No one in the Gu Family dared mention her grandmother's affairs, not even Gu Die.

He didn't want her to work part-time, but since she wanted to, he let her.

Every day Gu Die personally picked her up and dropped her off for work, yet each time they didn't speak.

Since her grandmother's passing, she hasn't spoken a word, nor cried nor caused a fuss.

Liuli, don't be like this, not saying anything...

At night, when sleeping, he held her and couldn't help but speak.

He worried that if she continued like this, something would happen.

"Stop being hypocritical, okay?" she said coldly.

Chu Liuli……

He struggled to suppress his emotions; in his cold brown eyes something was burning.

She hasn't spoken these days, but as soon as she opens her mouth she hurts people.

Find a time, let's divorce.

He didn't speak, but his heart suddenly felt like it was being ripped apart.

His kindness toward her—could she have never felt it?

You've already angered your father, met your conditions, fulfilled my conditions—being husband and wife is meaningless now.

Meaningless?

His heart was stabbed hard again by her.

Fine, then give me a child and we'll divorce; otherwise my father won't agree to let you go…

She turned over and bit his lips hard.

She fiercely kissed him.

His companionship these days is what she needs, but she doesn't want to get deeper; she doesn't know which of his words are true and which are false.

All she wants is for him to love her!

He returned the kiss, kissing her hair, ears, smooth shoulders…

For the first time she wanted to be with him.

Whenever he thought of her divorcing him for a child, he felt like a deflated balloon.

His eyes were dull and lightless.

Liuli, I can't love you.

He buried his face in her shoulder.

It's nothing; I don't love you either.

She sneered.

He turned away and said nothing more.

The night was silent, without even a star.

Gu Die never imagined that one day he would blame himself helplessly over a woman.

He thought, how good it would be if he weren't Gu Die.

The next day, she worked her part-time job as usual, serving at the coffee shop.

These days her phone has been silent; no one has sent her a message.

Cheng Li knew Liuli's temperament; at times like this she doesn't like others' comfort, so he can only let her work through it on her own.

Yu Ke also thought to give Liuli some space; she needs time to calm her emotions.

The store staff were gossiping about how she had become even more aloof than before, not saying a word.

From morning to night, aside from the necessary 'welcome,' she hadn't said a word.