Chapter 97: Even though the one who gives you happiness is not me

"I don't want her to be moved; I just want her to come back."

Ze Yan looked at the crystal ball in the glass cabinet and fell into contemplation.

"Shen Zeyan, I can't leave you; can you just stay by my side like this? I'll be obedient."

Si Yun's voice sounded again beside the ear, faint yet clear.

"Ze Yan ge, do you think we'll be together when we grow up?"

At night, he accompanied her while they watched the stars.

"Yes."

He replied.

"I'm only six now; there's still a long time until I marry you."

"I'll wait for you."

One wait, and yet it's been so many years; I wait for her but cannot see her.

"Ze Yan ge..."

Liuli looked at Ze Yan, his eyes full of sorrow, and wanted to give him a hug, but she couldn't.

"I'm fine."

Ze Yan saw Liuli's worry and answered with a smile.

But his smile still couldn't hide his hurt.

Liuli saw Ze Yan's gaze fall onto the clay figurine on the table.

"Ze Yan ge, look, I always save the tasty bits for you, so you grow fair and plump, just like this cute little pig."

Si Yun showed Ze Yan the clay pig she had molded and said to him.

"Then I do the same; I also mold a little pig for you."

Ze Yan said with a smile, looking at the little pig Si Yun had molded; although he didn't dare to look at it, he actually liked it.

"Great!"

Si Yun agreed.

At this moment, Ze Yan looked at the two clay pigs, and these scenes floated through his mind.

Liuli felt the same; she always felt everything was so familiar, all things she shouldn't forget.

The more she tried to remember, the less she could, only feeling waves of pain in her head, yet she still desperately tried to recall.

She shouldn't have forgotten; why does she remember nothing from before age six? Her mind is a blank regarding anything before that age.

She used to think she just started forming memories late, which is why she couldn't recall her childhood.

But now she feels it's not that she doesn't remember, but that she has forgotten.

"What's wrong, Liuli?"

Ze Yan saw her distressed state and asked; it wasn't the first time he had seen her like this.

He worried that last time he hadn't taken her to the hospital.

"Ze Yan ge, wait for me!"

Si Yun chased after Ze Yan from behind; hearing her call him, Ze Yan stopped.

"Chu Si Yun, if you don't eat, I'm really going to get angry!"

"Ze Yan ge, don't be angry; isn't it okay if I eat?"

Because Si Yun is a picky eater, Ze Yan pretended to ignore her.

Actually, Si Yun isn't truly a picky eater; she just wanted to tease Ze Yan, to make him care about her, because she likes his concern.

What Mr. and Mrs. Chu say is useless to Si Yun; only Ze Yan can keep her in line.

"Shen Zeyan, you're such a big idiot; I don't want to deal with you anymore!"

Ze Yan braved the rain to bring Si Yun the flowers he had just picked in the garden.

He thought they looked nice, so he picked a few, not expecting it to rain soon.

He hurriedly brought them over to Si Yun; seeing Ze Yan holding the flowers, drenched from the rain, she scolded him.

"Look at these flowers, do you like them? Just picked."

Ze Yan handed the flowers to Si Yun, who grabbed them and threw them on the ground.

She couldn't understand how he could be so stupid, just because she liked them, he would brave the rain to bring them to her.

Ze Yan looked at the flowers thrown on the ground, not knowing what he felt.

The next second, Si Yun tightly hugged him.

"Shen Zeyan, don't be so stupid, okay? I'll feel heartbroken."

"Meeting you, I become like a fool."

Ze Yan smiled and rubbed her head.

"Ze Yan ge, look, you can see the stars from here."

Si Yun and Ze Yan sat by the window of the room, looking at the outside sky.

Liuli's mind flashed with one image after another, very clear, right before her eyes.

Her eyes were filled with tears, feeling blurry, unable to see anything.

"Ze Yan ge, from here you can see the stars..."

After a long while, Liuli looked out the window and spoke.

Ze Yan heard it and was stunned for a moment; he recalled that Si Yun had said the same thing to him, in this very room.

In an instant, he felt transported back to that night fourteen years ago.

"What did you say..."

Ze Yan asked, waiting seriously for Liuli's answer.

"Brother Ze Yan, I'm back……"

Liuli hugged him.

Ze Yan still didn't understand, and she hugged him.

After saying that, Liuli couldn't hold back her tears.

She doesn't cry often, but when she does, she cries uncontrollably.

Ze Yan felt his shoulder soaked with her tears.

"Say it again……"

Ze Yan wanted to hear if what she said was true; he wanted to confirm whether she was Si Yun.

"I remember everything now, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have forgotten you……"

Listening to Liuli's choked words, Ze Yan felt only heartache.

Happy and excited, Ze Yan didn't know what to say for a moment.

"Are you really Si Yun?"

Ze Yan looked at Liuli seriously, wanting to engrave her face in his mind.

After being with Ze Yan, the missing fragments in her mind gradually surfaced.

The more she saw unfamiliar yet familiar things, the clearer those images became.

Anything related to Si Yun felt familiar to her.

She recalled being alone in the abandoned parking lot, helpless for days and nights.

Each day she hoped for dawn; when night fell, though she was tired, she dared not close her eyes, fearing that if she did, she wouldn't wake up.

Then she wouldn't see her parents or Brother Ze Yan.

She had repeatedly called out in her heart for Mom and Dad, Brother Ze Yan, those she relied on so much, but now she was alone.

Being locked in the abandoned parking lot, the only hope that kept her going was her belief that Mom and Dad and Ze Yan would find her, surely they would.

But no matter how she waited, they never came.

She used to love thunderstorms and darkness, but now she grew more afraid each time.

She also understood why, whenever it rained, she inexplicably felt a heavy heart and a great sense of loss.

That feeling became clear to her, and she felt she couldn't hold on much longer.

As soon as she closed her eyes, she knew nothing.

The more she thought, the more anguished Liuli felt, tears streaming nonstop, and the memories she sought finally returned.

But how could she make up for Ze Yan's years of waiting for her?

She now loves someone else and has married someone else, yet Ze Yan still silently waits for her return.

The more she thought, the more distressed she felt, not knowing what to do.

"Brother Ze Yan, I'm sorry……"

Liuli could only apologize.

"You've finally come back, you don't know how happy I am…… Don't say sorry; the one who should apologize is me, for failing to protect you."

Ze Yan wiped Liuli's tears.

"I'm sorry……"

Liuli hugged him again; this familiar embrace made her feel only her guilt.

"Silly girl, don't say sorry."

Ze Yan gently stroked her head.

"Why did you wait for me all these years? I'm truly sorry, I made you waste so much time, and I still fell in love with someone else…… I shouldn't have loved another……"

Liuli blamed herself.

She and he had originally been betrothed, and she had decided back then to marry Ze Yan.

But she forgot everything—she forgot him, and forgot their promise.

"Si Yun, do you really love him?"

Ze Yan asked.

"I love him…… I'm sorry……"

After saying that, Liuli felt she truly owed Ze Yan an apology.

"There's nothing to apologize for; I just want to see you safe and happy."

Even though the one who brings you happiness isn't me.

Ze Yan's eyes also grew moist; he had finally waited for her arrival.

He had imagined Si Yun loving someone else and living with them, but now it was truly before him.

She told him she had fallen for someone else, and his heart still felt especially painful.

Although he had braced himself mentally, it turned out to be far more painful than he imagined.

No matter what, he only wished for her happiness; his own well-being didn't matter.

Now that she could appear before him safe and sound, he was already content; even if they couldn't be together, he would be satisfied.

"Brother Ze Yan, if there is a next life, I will surely not miss you."

In this life, she has resolved to be with Gu Die alone; her guilt and regret toward Ze Yan can only be made up for in the next life.

"Okay, next time we will definitely be together."

Ze Yan promised, which was also a solemn commitment to her.

Previously, that solemn promise he couldn't fulfill—he couldn't marry her—but if there truly is a next life, he will surely marry her.

Ze Yan held her, not wanting to let go even for a moment; this moment, only he knew how long he had waited.

"Si Yun, don't cry."

Ze Yan wiped her tears; hearing his words, Liuli cried even harder.

She thought of how, whenever she cried as a child, Ze Yan would come to comfort her; now it felt just like before.

"If you cry again, you'll look bad, you crybaby."

Ze Yan rubbed her head and said with a smile.

But whenever she thought of those past scenes of being with him, she couldn't help crying.

Seeing Ze Yan's smile, she saw his childhood smile, exactly the same.

"Ze Yan ge, I'm sorry…… I miss you so much……"

Liuli cried louder and louder; Ze Yan couldn't help laughing; she looked just like she did as a child.

"I miss you too; can I cry as well?"

Ze Yan asked indulgently.

"Crying is too painful; I don't want you to cry……"

Liuli lifted her gaze to him, seeing the warmth in his light brown pupils, just like when he was a child.

No matter how she looked now, scenes from her childhood would appear.

"Then if you don't cry, I won't cry either."

Ze Yan tweaked her nose; whenever Si Yun cried before, he would comfort her like this.

Liuli immediately stopped crying; Ze Yan didn't expect this trick to still be effective.

"That's how our Si Yun should be."

Ze Yan said with a smile; Liuli wiped her tears and also laughed happily.

"Let's go see uncle and aunt; they know you're back and will surely be very happy."

"Okay."

Liuli nodded; she actually still didn't know how to face He Yun and Chu Feng, and didn't know what their reaction would be.