Chapter 7: The Probability of Being Defeated by the Toilet Is Very Low, But Not Zero

What does it feel like to be trapped in a two-dimensional world yet suffer through cultivation like a web novel protagonist?

Though Dragon Fist’s training was brutal, his instruction was truly painstaking; while the others trained, he never relaxed or rested, always keeping that string taut, monitoring progress as if something were chasing him and refusing to let up.

For him, selecting a qualified successor was the last and most important duty left in his dwindling lifespan.

Unfortunately, Jia Ji’s performance was far from impressive… based on his past record, the title of successor would never fall to him.

The sun had climbed to the zenith, a dry heat rising from the depths of the soul capable of evaporating every drop of moisture from anyone’s body, leaving them parched, thirsty, and tormented.

Dragon Fist, exposed to the same blazing sun, showed not a trace of fatigue, not even a single bead of sweat.

He glanced at the scorching sunlight, then at his least capable adopted son, and gave a barely perceptible nod.

His aura seemed different somehow; his entire state had improved considerably from before.

Jia Ji, who had stubbornly held out until lunchtime, finally exhaled in relief. Though he had no appetite, he ate at a pace one-third slower than usual, yet his gaze wasn’t fixed on the protein-rich meats before him—it was focused on something else.

【BigMoeGod: da da du da da】

【BigMoeGod: Good afternoon, has everyone had lunch yet?】

The one person who knew everything had appeared, and the previously silent group chat suddenly erupted in activity.

【Visible: You finally showed up…】

【Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Exterminator: Lunch? What lunch?】

【Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Exterminator: Are you joking right now? It’s clearly nighttime.】

【ForeverSeventeen: Huh?】

【AngelAfterDeath: Mapo Tofu, delicious!】

【ForeverSeventeen: I think I’ve discovered something incredible… I don’t know how things are on your end, but here, nearly seven days have passed—could it be…】

【BigMoeGod: Your next sentence is—“Is everyone’s time flow different?”】

【ForeverSeventeen: Is everyone’s time flow different?】

In a place unseen by any, a beautiful woman in golden Daoist robes leaned against something resembling a crescent moon, a fissure filled with purple mist and countless eyes serving as her seat—within it, countless non-human eyes mirrored her own astonishment.

Nani?

【ForeverSeventeen: You… you know what I’m thinking??】

【BigMoeGod: This is called synchronicity!】

The volume of information I hold can only be described as tragic!

Yun Zi, the pillar of the Gensokyo group chat, the late-arriving comedic mastermind, a spirit of the realm, the architect behind spiritual vanishings, the demon blamed whenever something goes wrong—I may understand you better than you understand yourself!

【BigMoeGod: Still, your conclusion is correct—since we’re in different dimensions, the probability of identical time flow is extremely low, but our chat remains synchronized.】

【BigMoeGod: I didn’t ignore you on purpose—I just had morning class and couldn’t reply, @Visible】

【Visible: Uh… I didn’t wait long at all—only about thirty minutes have passed here (*'ε`*)】

【Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Exterminator: Nearly a full day has passed for me】

If we set the time flow of the Beidou world as 1, then Yun Zi’s world is the fastest, nearing 30, while Jianzi’s world is the slowest, perhaps only 0.1 or 0.2.

Well, it’s normal for a high school girl’s time to pass slowly—she’s not some ancient demon who’s lived for thousands of years.

【BigMoeGod: @Visible, you’re just starting high school, right?】

Everyone else vaguely understood why they had their nickname; only Jianzi didn’t, which meant she hadn’t yet entered her own storyline.

【Visible: Mm.】

【BigMoeGod: …Hmm, if I’m not mistaken, you’ll soon understand the meaning of your nickname… telling you now won’t make you believe it—those who know, know; those who don’t, will understand when the time comes…】

I can predict Jianzi will awaken her highest-grade Yin-Yang Eyes soon, but for a long time after, she won’t face real danger—though she’ll encounter plenty of scares.

Telling her now would only add unnecessary worry.

Jia Ji would never admit he withheld the truth just to see Jianzi’s tearful, panicked plea for help after being frightened.

…Alright, he did want to see it, a little.

【Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Exterminator: Such a meanie!】

【ForeverSeventeen: Such a meanie!】

【Visible: Such a meanie!】

It seems that even across dimensions, some can sense Jia Ji’s thoughts—like a certain red-haired girl holding a katana, furiously jabbing at her screen, missing every click, and feeling thoroughly annoyed.

Can the half-spoiler riddles just get the hell out of here!

Jia Ji: Hmph, how could a brat like Xia Na possibly understand adult thinking!

The furious Flame-Haired Exterminator and the newly realizing Jianzi simultaneously launched a joint denunciation of the group owner, while Yun Zi, ever the mischief-maker, jumped in too.

In an instant, the small group of five became chaotic.

Only one person seemed unaffected from start to finish.

【AngelAfterDeath:[Image.jpg] Mapo Tofu, recommended!】

A photo was posted: tofu on a white porcelain plate, generously sprinkled with scallions, drenched in terrifyingly red oil.

The glossy, spicy oil—even through the screen—evoked an explosive sensation of numbness, freshness, aroma, heat, tenderness, crispness, and unparalleled spiciness in the mouth; just one glance could easily trigger hunger and salivation.

Jia Ji looked at the food image before him, then through the virtual screen to his own bowl of plain boiled meat with no seasoning—though it had some fat and wasn’t as bland as a dieting gym meal, its taste was similarly dull…

Tears streamed down.

Living with Dragon Fist, he’d never lacked food or clothing, never gone hungry.

But Dragon Fist’s cooking was only enough to fill the stomach—not delicious by any stretch.

Had Jia Ji never seen this image, he might have endured it—but… well, he still had to endure it.

He bit down hard on the dry boiled beef, chewed minimally, and swallowed it with difficulty, eyes fixed on the Mapo Tofu image—Jia Ji wasn’t worried about indigestion.

What kind of person was he now?

A muscular martial artist, a teenage boy in growth, a bottomless stomach perpetually hungry except right after eating.

Excellent digestion, strong teeth, powerful intestines.

Not just meat—he’d chew through a block of raw iron if he had to.

Eat! Eat! Eat!

I’m eating it all, damn it!

The three senior brothers watched their younger brother suddenly go berserk at mealtime, devouring his portion like a whirlwind sweeping leaves, then fixating with bloodshot eyes on their unfinished plates, as if he’d been reborn as a starving ghost.

“What’s gotten into him?”

Still, Laotuoqi sped up his own eating—afternoon training demanded sufficient nutrition.

“Jia Ji brother, uh… here, take mine.”

As for Ken Shi Lang, kind-hearted by nature, he hesitated briefly, then prepared to give his food to his brother.

But Jia Ji’s ferocious, hungry gaze locked onto him for a long while, making him feel uneasy—yet nothing happened.

The spiky-haired boy casually patted his younger brother’s head, then turned to find Dragon Fist for a private extra meal.

The texture felt good, he thought.

…

“Jia Ji! Jia Ji!”

It was Laotuoqi calling again—the most amiable of the brothers, always reminding those who hadn’t arrived before training.

For him, inheriting Beidou Divine Fist wasn’t the ultimate goal—it was merely a means to an end.

“You go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

From the toilet came Jia Ji’s deliberately heavy voice—he’d been inside a long time, now locked in a bitter battle with the Toilet Spirit.

This is the consequence of irregular eating habits!

If he can’t defeat the Toilet Spirit, being sucked in and reborn as a Demon King in another world isn’t out of the question.

Can Jia Ji defeat it?

Absolutely he can, surely he can, easily he can!

But…

“The day’s plan begins in the WC—squatting is the best time to chat,” Jia Ji said.

Sorry, Master Dragon Fist, just one more message!

(End of Chapter)