Chapter 78: Premium Launch Message

rt, it’s sudden, but the book can go premium.

This book took over a month of stumbling through writing; though it fell short of the Three Rivers recommendation, it completed all four rounds. For a light novel doujin with such a rare theme, achieving this level of success has far exceeded my expectations.

Friends initially told me, “I figured you didn’t even plan to sign this from the start—you were just going to make a flashy, glorious mess from the beginning. Why not write a Hokuto no Ken x Naruto instead? At least you’d get some buzz and a few bucks.”

Indeed, this new book’s cover, synopsis, opening, character selection, and system are all utterly unprecedented—so retro it’s hard to overstate it as unique on Qidian. Every element, every chapter filters readers; those who understand it possess so little information it’s almost tragic.

Originally, the book’s title was “My Hokuto no Ken Won’t Lose.” To pass the signing review, I added the “chat group” prefix (which actually appears rarely), and I thought just getting the full attendance bonus would count as success.

And they were right: for ten days after launch, no signing. I kept writing until over forty thousand words before the editor’s visible hand fished me out. Then the promotion slowly improved, drawing in a hidden crowd of old-timers who carved a path through the light novel section—where Douluo, Doupo, Death Fire Sea, and Dragon Clone stories piled up—and even briefly reached sixth place on the new book overall ranking (just shy of seventh), and first on the light novel sub-ranking (we’re champions). Thank you all for your overwhelming support!

Truly, thank you.

Now I can sing my own “Never Give Up.”

Readers who’ve made it this far should understand the book’s style: it’s a chaotic, bizarre, wave-style meme novel packed with everything old and new—cuteness, obscurity, niche appeal, absurdist humor, retro aesthetics, combat, moe girls, baka, typo-magnetism, meme encyclopedias, emoticons, mugen, abstraction, muscular men, girl bands, weird chat groups, reused Sucai , ice skating, verbal sparring, madness, otaku energy release, trolling, nonsense, tearful moments, iconic scene recreations, wood hair, two-game jokes, Dark Souls 5, ninja “Yaaah!” and harem chaos (I’ll try my best). If you like it, that’s perfect.

Next is the self-introduction segment:

I’m a longtime member of the Renya forum, a top ten chronicler of the Haihu forum’s Earth Ten, a deputy moderator of the Kazami Yūkō forum, and a rabid Hokuto no Ken fan—these are identities and statuses I once held, inescapable “fates” and “past lives.” Others call me LDX.

As for my exact age, don’t ask—it’d sound like I’m a reincarnator.

Though many friends have suspected or guessed, I can clearly tell you: I am not anyone’s alt account, not a reformed old abandoner, not a reincarnated corpse, not, not, not—I’m truly a new writer with a new book. My prose is clumsy, my plot has many flaws (this is even my first time writing a premium launch message—so thrilling, so thrilling).

I originally wanted to say something like, “Please don’t care about my past,” but that might only deepen the misunderstanding. So I’ll open my own box—

Aside from playing countless bad memes in QQ groups, my only prior writing experience is a neighboring cat’s novel, “Who Wields Hokuto no Ken? To Exterminate Demons,” a grand, serious, salvation-themed story with Hokuto’s Fourth Master, Ken Shi Lang, as the protagonist, smashing through all worlds with relentless, meat-punching battles—exactly the kind of thing readers drawn to Hokuto no Ken want to see.

Written purely out of love to fill the original’s void, it’s a blood-soaked, punch-to-the-flesh, obliteration-style tale, fully free, seventy thousand words complete. If you’re interested, go read it. This book was born from me getting tired of writing satisfying fights and slapping my forehead in inspiration.

As for the many fans of beastmen combat and DPS lovers asking about the protagonist’s power level, and the endless debates about “stepping on your own foot” and power escalation—I’ve seen them all. But having spent time in the Wang forum, I know one thing better: the hard part isn’t cheating—it’s keeping the rate of power inflation within a reasonable range.

Qidian has plenty of crazy novels—starting with magnetic field rotation and overpowering all worlds, they’re as common as Pikachu on the street. While infinite beastmen and chaotic world-hopping aren’t impossible, that lane is far too crowded. This book was never meant to be that kind.

From its category, tags, character descriptions, to choosing the protagonist as Jia Qi—everything shows it’s a comedic, trolling style.

Its exact positioning is like the Storm in Wu Shen 300: it can beat anyone it can beat, and can’t beat anyone it can’t (e.g., Haruhi Suzumiya), but it cuts out most humiliating defeats and boosts the moe girl ratio—it’s like a “bursting potential, insane wisdom” plus version of Storm.

In the latest meme terms: “The Heavenly Overlord Rao is definitely the strongest!” “If you only look at the ceiling, healthy Tōki isn’t bad.” “Ken Shi Lang at least managed to evolve Hokuto’s style by 2001.” “Wait—who the hell is Jia Qi?”

And readers asking if we’ll go to worlds like Renya, Haihu, Quanyuan, The First Disciple, Jinrouren, or Yisheng Qianjin—wait, someone actually asked about My Little Pony?—though their art styles fit Hokuto no Ken well, they don’t fit this book or this protagonist.

Though I’ve used countless memes, I won’t actually go to those worlds (hehe). I want this vague, elusive, just-out-of-reach feeling—exactly like scratching through your boots.

Now comes Qidian’s traditional segment: sacrificing some friends’ books:

Martial arts section:

“I Want to Pluck the Moon from the Nine Heavens,” by “Jiang Lang Bu Xi,” the same “Jiang Lang Bu Xi” who wrote “Three Hates the River Never Ceases.”

The Three Brothers of the Underground Martial Arts Studio,

“From the Great Ming Dynasty, Smash Through All Worlds,”

“From Huang Feihong, Smash Through All Worlds,”

“From the Qi Family Army, Smash Through All Worlds,”

(Almost tempted to write “From Hokuto no Ken, Smash Through All Worlds”—narrowly avoided.)

Light novel section:

“Can Only Monsters Exist?” by the ancient second-gen black king—a similar chaotic mix of elements (more Pianxiang tokusatsu/mecha/two-game), which would pair interestingly with this wave-style.

“The Imaginary...” — skip it, just chop it off for sacrifice.

Gaming section:

“You Promised to Set Sail, But You Became the Deep Sea Ruler,” by xieshudefeng, one of my park’s own HakiMi—I can love her hard.

“Others Tame Beasts, You Tame Beast Girls”—should’ve been in the light novel beast-taming section, thick with congee flavor, no need to explain.

“Starting from the Soul Crucible”—a longtime friend from the cat’s circle, a professional at going crazy and opening maps, quality guaranteed.

Finally,

Hello, light novel readers—I’m your faithful new author kenshio, top-tier at memes, second-rate at prose, third-rate at typing, a man determined to become a god of meme culture. I hope you smile knowingly while reading.

Premium launch today at noon (Writer Assistant, let me see my limits).

Please support my first subscription! Qiuli gao!

Reader group number: 1009605086

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(End of chapter)