Chapter 195: There is another me in my life

Liu Jiazhen couldn't help but laugh.

Liu Jiazhen said: "When I was staying at home writing novels before, my parents said the same thing, saying I never went out and had no friends, and asking if I had depression."

Mingyin sighed: "So we've all encountered such problems."

Liu Jiazhen: "People engaged in this kind of creative work will encounter this situation more or less, right?"

Mingyin turned to look at Lu Yan He, smiled, and said: "Big star, is it hard for you to understand us in this matter?"

Lu Yan He nodded honestly, "I really haven't had this kind of experience."

"But, I can still understand this feeling," Lu Yan He said. "When reading *Star Orbit*, there is an illustrator in it. Most of the time every day, she is in a state of being alone. She is clearly working and drawing every day, but in the eyes of her family, she has nothing to do at home every day. They are lazy and don't understand her work state, and even feel that she doesn't need to live in a big city and can go home. When reading that part, I was wondering if there was your feeling in it, Sister Mingyin."

Mingyin nodded in surprise and said: "You really read my novel seriously."

"I especially like it," Lu Yan He said.

"I thought you preferred crime mystery novels."

"I like crime mystery novels, and I also like other well-written novels," Lu Yan He said. "I like all stories. When I was a child, I liked listening to stories, and when I grew up, I looked for stories myself, looking for stories I like."

The three of them stood at the door and chatted for a while. At this time, Xu Xiaoyin came over again.

She saw the three of them standing together again and laughed.

"Exactly, you three are all here, so I don't have to ask one by one. Later, our publishing house wants to film a documentary of this book fair. The original plan was only to record, not to interview. Just now, the editor-in-chief decided temporarily that she still wants to add some interview clips in it. I don't know if it can be arranged? This documentary is only used as a behind-the-scenes, and it will be released on some media accounts of our Jiang Yin Publishing House, and will not be promoted otherwise."

Lu Yan He looked at the two writers, smiled first, nodded, and said: "I have no problem."

He is an artist, and of course, he needs exposure of all sizes at this stage.

Liu Jiazhen and Mingyin hesitated instead.

"I feel particularly nervous in front of the camera," Mingyin said. "I was very nervous in Lu Yan He's livestream room last time."

Liu Jiazhen also nodded, "Me too."

Xu Xiaoyin was obviously very aware of her two "socially anxious" authors. She smiled and said: "Why don't we try it first? If it really doesn't work, we won't let this interview clip appear in the main film, okay? Mainly because many of your readers are also looking forward to you."

Mingyin: "Then okay."

"Mm," Liu Jiazhen also nodded.

At 9:30, the book fair opened on time.

In the lobby on the first floor, there is information about the activities of various publishing houses, writers, and celebrity guests.

Li Pengfei squeezed into the crowd to look for it, and soon found the information of Jiang Yin Publishing House.

"On the fifth floor! Old Lu has a sharing session at ten o'clock," Li Pengfei turned back and said to everyone.

As soon as his voice fell, a girl beside him said in surprise: "Lu Yan He is actually coming today!"

Her companion immediately asked in surprise: "Really? Where is he? I want to see him!"

"On the fifth floor, in half an hour."

"Then let's go to the fifth floor first!"

"Mm-hm."

The two girls said and squeezed out of the crowd together and went upstairs.

"Oh, the star who scored over 600 in the college entrance exam is also here today." A mother who brought her child also saw Lu Yan He's name, and her eyes lit up instantly, "He has a sharing speech at ten o'clock, let's go, let's go listen to his speech first, his grades are so good, you should listen carefully!"

The child's face wrinkled into a bitter gourd instantly.

"Don't go! I want to see Jiangshan!"

"Jiangshan's signing has two hours, it's in time! Go to Lu Yan He's place first!" The mother dragged the person away without saying a word.

Conversations like this are still happening at the same time.

Li Pengfei blinked in surprise, turned back and said to Linyu and the others: "It seems that Old Lu doesn't need us to support him at all."

Chen Qin rolled his eyes and said: "I told you long ago, he is very popular now, and he doesn't need us to support him at all."

Li Pengfei: "Then can't you increase some popularity for your old classmate?"

"I didn't say no, I just said, you underestimated Lu Yan He," Chen Qin spread his hands and said.

Linyu: "Let's go up, it seems that there will be many people at the booth of Jiang Yin Publishing House later, let's hurry up and grab a better position, otherwise we might not even see Lu Yan He."

Li Pengfei: "You let Chen Qin hold you up and sit on Chen Qin's shoulders to watch."

Linyu: "..."

Chen Qin: "..."

Chen Siqi felt funny when she heard Li Pengfei's words, but she was embarrassed to laugh out loud on the spot, so she turned her head and looked to the other side.

The exhibition hall of Jiang Yin Publishing House is very large, occupying nearly half of the area on the fifth floor.

There are both book booths and signing desks.

Of course, the most eye-catching is the stage placed in the middle.

This small stage is backed by a high wall, and a large electronic screen is set up. The electronic screen is playing the activity schedule of Jiang Yin Publishing House today.

The scene is already running.

In the place responsible for book market sales, many people have come to browse one after another.

People have also gathered on the stage side.

Five rows of seats are placed in front of the stage, all with name tags on them, which are the seats for the publishing house itself and the media and partners specially invited.

When Lu Yan He was led to the scene by Xu Mingyue, it immediately caused a burst of cheers and screams.

He didn't do any styling today, and was dressed a little more formally, with a pair of black trousers and a white shirt, looking fresh and sunny.

But this scene caused some discussion among media people.

"He didn't wear any makeup today."

"Yeah, but he's still very handsome. Being young is good, he's so handsome even without makeup."

"Nineteen years old, what a nostalgic age."

"We are all almost thirty."

"However, is Lu Yan He's cooperation with Jiang Yin Publishing House too close? I was already surprised when he helped Jiang Yin Publishing House sell books for two authors before, and he actually came to the book fair today."

"Now he is taking this intellectual route, taking what each needs."

"Why are you saying he is so utilitarian? Can't he really love reading?"

"Why do people who love reading go to the livestream room to read? Isn't it just to let others see him reading?"

These discussions reached Lu Yan He's ears intermittently.

He sat in the front row, heard these voices, and controlled his expression not to be affected by anything.

As an artist, he found himself hearing such voices more and more.

For everything he does, everyone will have their own interpretation and firmly believe in their own interpretation.

Intellectual route?

Lu Yan He really wanted to explain clearly to these people that he had never considered taking this route.

How could a nineteen-year-old boy take such a route for himself?

But thinking about it, there is nothing to explain.

Mainly because explanation is useless.

Chen Ziyan had told him long ago.

He didn't know it himself either.

It's not that he doesn't really understand the entertainment industry.

"Yan He, are you OK?" Mingyin, who was sitting on his right, suddenly asked.

Lu Yan He came back to his senses, looked at Mingyin and smiled, "Hm?"

"Did you hear the voices of those people behind discussing you?" Mingyin asked in a low voice.

A look of worry appeared on her face.

Lu Yan He shook his head and said: "It's okay."

"It seems that your work also has many bad situations that we have not experienced," Mingyin said with a soft smile, "Can you often hear such voices in your work environment?"

"I can't say often, occasionally, but these are nothing. The job I do is a job that has to face many people's comments," Lu Yan He said this, actually comforting himself, "Must persuade myself to accept it."

Liu Jiazhen heard them whispering, leaned over and asked: "What are you talking about?"

Mingyin shook her head, "Nothing."

At this time, the host walked onto the stage and reminded everyone that the book fair activities today were about to begin.

"It's starting!" Chen Qin looked back at the host who appeared on the stage and said to Linyu who was still browsing the book market. Linyu heard this, pulled Chen Siqi, and said: "Let's go over."

Li Pengfei had already occupied the position closest to the stage for them.

Seeing the three of them coming, Li Pengfei complained: "Where did you go to browse just now? You're really slow."

Linyu said: "We just browsed at the book stall next to us. Didn't Yan He recommend a few books before? I plan to buy them home to read."

"Do you have time to read now? You feel very difficult to come out today, aren't you preparing for your competition?"

"Always have to rest, how can you keep preparing for the competition?" Chen Qin said immediately.

Linyu: "Yes, always have to rest."

Li Pengfei felt a little regretful that Xu Zijun had to tutor today and could not attend this book fair.

Otherwise, Xu Zijun should like this place very much.

She is also a person who loves reading very much.

Li Pengfei plans to buy a few books for her.

Among the writers who came to sign today, in addition to writers who had just debuted like Liu Jiazhen and Mingyin, there were also several national-level great writers. Xu Zijun prefers traditional literary works, and Li Pengfei plans to buy a set of signed copies of these great writers today and take them back.

"Where is Lu Yan He?" Chen Qin asked.

Li Pengfei pointed to the position on the right side of the front row, "He is there."

"Oh, I see it," Chen Qin sighed, "As soon as I graduated from the college entrance exam, I felt that he and we became people in two worlds. We are still waiting for the admission letter, curious about the future university life, but Lu Yan He has already stepped into the adult world."

Linyu smiled calmly and said: "We are all going to step into the adult world. He stepped in earlier, and we stepped in later, but we are still in the same world. We should not feel that we are separated from him by a world because of the temporary gap."

"Look at your girlfriend, this ideological awareness, atmospheric, look at you again," Li Pengfei looked at Chen Qin with great disgust, "Try harder, Chen Qin."

Chen Qin took a deep breath in anger.

Chen Siqi looked at Linyu thoughtfully instead.

The words Linyu just said were calm and mature, unlike their peers.

Linyu was the liberal arts champion of the 13th Middle School this year, and also in the top ten of Yuming City. She was the monitor before, and her grades have always been very good. She is a star-level student in the school and has received much attention.

Chen Siqi had heard of Linyu's calmness and composure beyond her peers, but hearing this remark with her own ears today still made Chen Siqi a little surprised.

Compared with her, Chen Siqi felt that her feigned maturity seemed "feigned" a lot.

Not true maturity.

At this time, the person standing on the stage, after the president of the publishing house made relevant introductions, began to introduce Lu Yan He.

"Reading is an indispensable part of everyone's life. This summer, we all met a young man named Lu Yan He. He has many identities. Before June this year, he was still a high school senior. Before his senior year, he was an idol artist who debuted at the age of fifteen. After the college entrance exam, he became an actor again. He just finished filming Director Luo Yuzhong's new play. Under multiple identities, he is also a reader who loves reading. Many people know that because of his recommendations in his livestream room, the two books *Nineteen Years of Crime Records* and *Star Orbit* handled by our Jiang Yin Publishing House entered the bestseller lists of major books. He once said in the livestream room that reading is a kind of rest for him. Today, I am very happy to invite him to the scene to share with everyone about reading. Please welcome Lu Yan He."

"Oh—" Li Pengfei suddenly arched his hands and cheered loudly in front of his mouth.

Originally, many people at the scene were applauding, but his voice was too loud, even so loud that it was a bit shocking, so that many people's eyes were withdrawn from Lu Yan He who got up and turned to look at Lu Yan He.

Lu Yan He also looked over in surprise.

When he saw that it was Li Pengfei and the others, he showed a surprised expression and waved at them.

Li Pengfei also waved back excitedly.

When many eyes met, Chen Qin was so embarrassed that he wanted to dig a hole and drill into it.

Chen Siqi also had the same feeling.

She glanced at Linyu and saw that Linyu could not hide a touch of embarrassment under her feigned calm appearance, so Chen Siqi breathed a sigh of relief.

Lu Yan He walked onto the stage and took the microphone handed by the host.

"Hi, good morning everyone, I am Lu Yan He, very happy to meet you here today."

Lu Yan He greeted everyone with a smile, facing hundreds of people off the stage, and was a little nervous after the fact.

"Those few just now are my high school classmates. I didn't know they would come today. It's a special surprise. Don't sneak away, I'll come down and find you later," Lu Yan He said to Li Pengfei and the others.

Others looked at them again.

Li Pengfei smiled brightly (silly).

Lu Yan He withdrew his gaze, "Actually, I was quite fearful when I received this invitation, because I am only nineteen years old. If it weren't for my artist status, I'm afraid no one would want to listen to me talk about such a serious topic as reading."

Everyone laughed kindly.

Including those media people.

"However, I thought about it, and it's quite good. Some people will ask me to sing, some people will ask me to act, and even now some people ask me to teach everyone how to study and how to do well in exams. You may find it hard to believe, and even tutoring institutions have asked me to be a spokesperson," Lu Yan He said with a smile.

Everyone burst into laughter.

Lu Yan He waited for two seconds, waited for the laughter to fall, and then continued: "But no one will ask me to talk about reading. This makes me very regretful, because reading is a very important part of my life. It is not because today is a book fair activity that I say so, but because reading has a special meaning to me, so I dare to come here, risking being ridiculed by many people 'Why are you standing here', to share the meaning of reading to me."

Lu Yan He could see that the expressions on everyone's faces gradually became serious.

"In my senior year, I worked very hard, very desperately, because my foundation was very bad, but I wanted to get into a good university, so I could only go all out and sprint. In this state, I experienced many things I didn't expect, unrelated to exams, but related to myself. When I was so sleepy that my eyelids seemed unable to open, I asked myself what the meaning of getting into a good university was. When I was questioned and ridiculed, I asked myself why I couldn't give up and be a mediocre person. When I faced many dilemmas that I can't explain in detail now, I asked myself whether I could get a good result by persistence and non-compromise. If not, what should I do?"

"This is my inquiry to myself as a high school senior. Others should also have similar inquiries to themselves, right?"

"However, where can we find the answer? Not every question can be answered immediately," Lu Yan He said. "After the college entrance exam, one day, I went to a bookstore with a friend. I actually didn't know what books had been published recently or what books were worth reading. I was just wandering aimlessly in the bookstore, picking a few according to my interests, one of which was *Nineteen Years of Crime Records*."

The live broadcast lens suddenly cut to Liu Jiazhen at this time.

Liu Jiazhen's face appeared on the big screen behind Lu Yan He.

Liu Jiazhen also saw his face, and he showed a look of surprise.

Lu Yan He looked back at the big screen and laughed, "Yes, it is the book written by Teacher Liu Jiazhen. Maybe mentioning this here will cause an illusion to everyone that I am going to say that reading this book helped me find the answers to those questions. Actually, no, it's not like that."

"My heart was full of too many questions, but just at this time, I started reading *Nineteen Years of Crime Records*. I read it in one breath, and then I completely entered another state. Simply put, I temporarily forgot myself," Lu Yan He said with a smile. "I seemed to have another perspective. While reading *Nineteen Years of Crime Records*, I looked back at myself in the past year during the gaps in reading. The boredom, depression, unsolvable emotions, etc., generated in the whole senior year seemed to be picked off from me."

"Reading is a key to entering a world unrelated to oneself. We can generously put aside all concerns and enter a new world."

"I don't mean to say that reading can reduce our troubles. In fact, after we enter a new world, maybe it's like landing on the moon. Everyone who lands on the moon from the earth will not be able to help but look back at what the earth looks like. In every book, I thought I entered a new world, but I repeatedly saw my own life, the shadow of the past," Lu Yan He gripped the microphone. "If I say this, will everyone think I am self-contradictory? I say it can make me temporarily forget myself, and then I say it will make me see myself. Please believe me, this is the only description I can think of now that can express my true feelings."

Xu Xiaoyin and Liu Cheng were standing on the side of the stage.

They were originally checking the subsequent work flow, but unknowingly, they stopped their work and started listening to Lu Yan He's sharing.

Xu Xiaoyin couldn't help but sigh when she heard this: "I didn't expect him to be able to share such real feelings."

"Didn't that girl Xu Mingyue write a script for him?"

"Completely useless," Xu Xiaoyin said, "I have read that script, Lu Yan He didn't use it at all."

"The things he talked about are too private, and many people at the scene may not be able to understand."

Xu Xiaoyin said: "But people who have read books will definitely understand what he is talking about."

Lu Yan He stood on the stage and continued: "From forgetting myself to seeing myself, reading is like a filter. It filters out the sorrow and bitterness that real life brings to me, and leaves all the warmth and strength. Because it is filtered, it is clearer."

"I still remember in *Star Orbit* created by Teacher Mingyin, the story of the mother who silently supported her autistic little son behind the scenes. After the mother died, the little son knew that the friends around him now had all been asked by his mother to try to be friends with him. At the moment of knowing, sadness, discomfort, warmth, happiness, reluctance, so many emotions appeared in an instant. I was touched by the story, and also touched by these emotions," Lu Yan He said. "I don't have autism, nor have I encountered a situation where it is difficult to make friends, let alone the experience of being supported and cared for by my mother like this. Logically speaking, I don't have similar experiences of empathy, so I won't be so touched, but I must honestly admit that I cried messily at that moment, and I couldn't help but think why."

"I was thinking, it's because I saw myself, saw another possible me. In a certain world, I have autism, I have been silently supported by such a mother for many years, I have such a group of happy friends, I substituted myself into it, so there is another me in my life, so, coming out of the book, I looked at myself in reality and gained a perspective to re-examine myself."

"When reading adventure stories, I am the brave, thorn-breaking, wise and courageous me."

"When reading fantasy stories, I am the me with a magic wand in my left hand and a magic stone in my right hand."

"When reading mystery stories, I am the me with agile thinking and amazing insight."

"Every time I read, I can see a new me. Reading does not require similar experiences to empathize. Reading allows us to have more experiences, so we can gain more feelings and experiences."

"Therefore, when you have nothing to do, go to the bookstore to browse, buy one or two books, find a time that only belongs to you, and go to see the self in the book," Lu Yan He said. "When you think you are reading someone else's story, you must not realize that in your subconscious, that someone else is yourself. In another period of your life, the questions and answers about your life often seem less important."

"Thank you."

After Lu Yan He finished sharing, he bowed to everyone.

The scene was silent for two seconds, and applause began to sound.

Lu Yan He returned the microphone to the host and stepped down.

Many people were taking pictures of him with mobile phones and cameras.

Lu Yan He stopped when he passed Li Pengfei and looked at them with a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me in advance when you came," Lu Yan He said.

"We don't need you to worry about us, why tell you in advance," Li Pengfei said, "Old Lu, your sharing just now made me stunned. I didn't understand many places, but I can feel what you are talking about."

Lu Yan He smiled and looked at Chen Siqi standing at the very end.

Chen Siqi also glanced at him.

"Let's eat together at noon later," Lu Yan He said.

"I can't, I have to pick up Xu Zijun, you guys eat," Li Pengfei said immediately.

Chen Qin also said: "Linyu and I have something to do later too. She made an appointment with a teacher to prepare for next month's competition."

Lu Yan He: "You are all so busy, okay, we haven't eaten together for a while."

"Let's make an appointment later," Li Pengfei said, and suddenly remembered something, "Isn't Chen Siqi still here? You eat with her."

Chen Siqi subconsciously wanted to say that she also had something to do, Lu Yan He nodded immediately, "Then it's a deal, then you wait for me for a while, I'll finish here soon."

This ritual activity has not ended yet, and Lu Yan He is not easy to withdraw now.

Especially the signing activities of Liu Jiazhen and Mingyin later, he also plans to go to the scene to ask them for signatures.

Lu Yan He nodded to Chen Siqi and turned back to his seat.

Chen Qin sighed: "Lu Yan He looks completely different from a year ago."

"Envious?" Li Pengfei asked.

"Admire," Chen Qin shook his head, "Such a reborn change must have paid a huge effort."

"Also," Li Pengfei rarely didn't quarrel with Chen Qin, and nodded in agreement.

Several young people were talking, suddenly, a young man came over and said with a smile: "Are you Lu Yan He's classmates? I am a reporter from *Art News*, can I interview you a few questions about Lu Yan He?"

Several people shook their heads at the same time.

Linyu said: "Sorry, we don't answer any questions about Lu Yan He."

She shook her head slightly.

"Just a few very simple small questions, we can find a place to sit and chat, and we can also pay."

"Thank you, no," Linyu still firmly refused, "Please don't disturb us anymore." ===== CHAPTER 196 =====