Chapter 24: A Sunny Day Chapter 13: I Insist on Crying

·

·

·

Protagonist:

Shaowei

Liu Qi

"Look, even this face is born imposing and formidable; if she furrowed her brows and shouted, ordinary people probably wouldn't dare provoke her."

Shaowei originally disliked being pointed at and weighed like this, but perhaps her strength affected her will, or perhaps she faintly smelled something inexplicably safe, so when Jiang Fu lifted one of her legs, she actually let him lift her.

Jiang Fu clicked his tongue: "These legs and feet need no further mention—so slender, agile, and nimble, running and jumping probably wouldn't lose to wolves or leopards?"

"Now look at these two hands..." Jiang Fu squatted there, using the index finger Shaowei had bitten to poke the back of Shaowei's hand, praising seriously: "At a glance, these are hands that have trained hard in martial arts—clearly so small, yet so hardworking and enduring."

Shaowei was still lying on the ground, hands propped before her; at this moment she subconsciously followed Jiang Fu's gaze to her own hands, though Shaowei rarely observed herself.

Jiang Fu gently poked the girl's hand again, slowly saying:

"You say, they grow so proudly on your body, serving you so loyally, protecting you without reservation, making you strong, accompanying you as you grow up, and with breathing and heartbeat day and night, never stopping for a moment just to keep you alive—how could you easily discard them?"

Shaowei couldn't help but be stunned.

She was still looking at her hands.

Those hands were covered in scars and bore traces of frostbite; the palms weren't large, so when she exerted force to support her body, every tiny finger and every knuckle seemed especially strenuous, appearing somewhat... tragically selfless yet uncomplaining.

Shaowei stared blankly for a moment, then suddenly relaxed her hands, bowed her head, and pressed her forehead against the ground.

She actually shed a few tears.

These tears came abruptly and inexplicably.

Crying over such words in front of an outsider inevitably felt embarrassing; Shaowei struggled to suppress herself, not making a sound, wanting to quickly cut off this damn urge to cry.

But she heard Jiang Fu sigh helplessly: "What good does crying do? Crying can't solve any trouble."

This immediately aroused Shaowei's rebellious heart; she raised her head, glaring with tear-filled eyes: "I've always solved trouble with a blade—who said I need to cry to solve trouble? I just want to cry, and I insist on crying!"

Having snapped like that, she seemed to find a reason to cry loudly by defying others in a huff; crying even became a kind of spirited, eccentric rebellion.

Thus Shaowei no longer held back, pressed her head down again, and burst into loud crying.

People become more aggrieved the more they cry, and may not even be able to say clearly what they're aggrieved and resentful about—anyway, tears and sobs did the talking.

Crying while pressed against the ground was too stifling, so Shaowei lifted her face and continued crying.

After tilting her head back for too long her neck got tired, so she pressed her head back against the ground, switching back and forth like this.

The expressionless Mo Li was still mechanically pressing her back; Jiang Fu squatted in place, hands seemingly propping his cheeks, but actually both index fingers were plugging his ears, which ached from the noise.

Shaowei wailed loudly, venting with wah-wah-wuu sounds.

No one knew how long she cried like this; as if she'd cried all her strength away, Shaowei lay with her head tilted to the side, sobbing completely gone, only her body still uncontrollably hitching and jerking; her wet face pressed against her messy hair, her red eyes somewhat unfocused as she looked out the window.

It was a very small window, yet it just happened to hold a setting sun about to fall.

Jiang Fu, who had sat on the bed at some point, clapped his hands: "Even your crying is earth-shaking—at first like ten thousand troops passing, full of the spirit of golden spears and iron horses; if that were all, it would be fine enough, but the middle section added sharpness and etherealness, and by the end it was as tender as an oriole's song; though the crying has stopped now, there still lingers a faint echo circling the beams... Even the finest musician and singer in Chang'an City probably couldn't produce such a marvelous sound?"

Shaowei certainly heard the teasing and mockery in that, but her throat hurt as if burned, so she was too lazy to bother arguing. Probably from crying too long, or perhaps the tears had washed away the medicine's effect, she tried moving her body and managed to slowly sit up.

Jiang Fu casually poured himself a bowl of warm water and ordered the boy: "Mo Li, wash her face."

Mo Li brought a wooden basin to Shaowei, one hand pressing her nape down, the other scooping water to wash her face.

Shaowei was truly too tired from crying, and somewhat numb; originally she let him handle her, but having her nape pressed was bearable, while the calluses on the other's palm—ten times rougher than hers—rubbing her face felt like a knife cut; Shaowei felt as if a layer of skin had been scraped off her face, she gritted her teeth in pain, shook her head to dodge Mo Li's hand, then directly cupped water with both hands and splashed it all over her face with loud splashing.

Water droplets flew; in the breathless moment of cold water wrapping her skin, Shaowei seemed to return to the cold river at the foot of the mountain.

Only now she viewed it from an onlooker's angle, clearly seeing that drifting, self-abandoning girl; she clearly had a complete body, so she counted as a complete, independent person, didn't she?

Even if she shouldn't have come into this world, since she had come, it became "her"—she was a person, and more, she was herself; the world could regard her as a demonic spawn, could despise and reject her, but only she could not despise herself, nor abandon herself.

The last scoop of water splashed before her eyes; Shaowei opened her eyes and met the setting sun outside the window, her reddened eyes burning with a spark of anger.

She was born dirty and superfluous, and died just as wretchedly, yet now she seemed to have fallen into the cycle of destiny once more; this world was no different from Purgatory for her—was her sin too heavy, must she repeatedly suffer punishment and repeatedly die in this fate, in order to atone?

If so, then she must all the more not meekly seek death—this time she insisted on living, insisted on not dying!

Shaowei stared at the setting sun, her eyes filled with stubborn, fierce unwillingness to yield.

But her crying eyes, when widened, stung from the light; before tears could be forced out, Shaowei clenched her fist, gathered strength, and stood up.

Jiang Fu put down the earthen bowl in his hand, looking at the girl who had stood up.

The girl wore simple coarse cloth clothes, her hair loose, barefoot, with babyish flesh still on her cheeks, yet her aura did not seem weak.

Nine-tenths of this aura came from those eyes—those eyeballs were black and bright; even now set in red, swollen, wretched eye sockets, the stubbornness and toughness within had not been diminished in the slightest.

Jiang Fu sized her up without changing expression, slightly narrowing his eyes.

The girl spoke first, asking her: "Speak—what exactly are you plotting?"

Jiang Fu smiled: "Plotting? By that account, you don't think I'll take your life?"

Shaowei: "If you wanted to kill me, you should have done it long ago."

"I really thought you had no human feeling at all." Jiang Fu wore a strange expression, raising the hand Shaowei had just bitten: "Since you know I won't kill you, why did you resist so desperately all the way, and as soon as you woke, try to hurt my servant and me?"

Shaowei frowned: "Is living just about not being killed? How is that different from livestock? You don't kill me, so I should obediently submit to your control and manipulation?"

Moreover, being repeatedly knocked unconscious and tossed around like cargo was embarrassing and undignified.

"Is that how you see it... you little brat have some backbone." Jiang Fu smiled with realization, then answered Shaowei's question: "I do have a plot—I just don't know if you'll agree."