Chapter 324: Bang Geng Blows Up the Toilet

The sunlight on the first day of the lunar new year seemed a bit brighter than usual, lazily scattering over the uncleared firecracker debris in the siheyuan, the air filled with a faint smell of gunpowder and the lingering aroma of meat from every household. The children were like little beasts let out of a cage, having held back their mischievous thoughts all year, they released them completely today.

Following tradition, the older boys started running around the courtyard inside and out early in the morning, going from house to house to bow, shouting "Happy New Year! Wishing you wealth!" while their eyes stared fixedly at the candies and melon seeds in adults' hands; occasionally getting a piece of hard fruit candy or a small handful of roasted peanuts would make them happy for half a day.

After the New Year greetings, the real "main event" began—setting off firecrackers! Families with better conditions could buy a string of a hundred small crackers, treasured them, opened them one by one and set them off individually to hear the sound; those with average conditions could still have a few "throw‑crackers" or "sky‑monkeys" for fun.

The older boys from the front, central, and rear courtyards—Bang Geng, Yan Jiefang, Liu Guangtian, plus two or three others of similar age—quickly gathered together at the relatively spacious spot by the alley entrance, showing off their respective "arms." Red and small green crackers, thick "double‑kick" crackers, and ground‑rats that could spin on the ground dazzled the eyes.

After a while, merely listening to the sound became a bit boring. Bang Geng, who was always the ringleader among the kids and had the most wicked ideas, rolled his eyes, looked at the not‑far‑away public toilet built of blue bricks that gave off a "strong" smell, and a mischievous thought popped into his head.

He shook the five or six small crackers left in his hand, deliberately speaking loudly: "Just setting them off like this is boring! Let's make a bet—whoever dares to throw this cracker into that pit, hear a 'muffled thunder,' I'll give him all the crackers in my hand!" He pointed toward the toilet, his face wearing a provocative smile.

Hearing this, the kids all shrank their necks. Throwing crackers into the pit? That idea was really vicious! In there…… the smell was bad enough, and if something unclean exploded…… just thinking about it made them feel nauseous and scared.

Yan Jiefang looked somewhat tempted at the few red crackers in Bang Geng's hand, but didn't dare, urging: "Bang Geng, you…… why don't you go yourself?"

Liu Guangtian also chimed in: "Exactly, you came up with the idea, you go first!"

Bang Geng puffed out his chest, acting fearless: "Go then! Watch closely! Whoever backs out is a puppy!" He really wanted those extra crackers, and being used to lawlessness, he truly pinched a small cracker, lit its fuse, and tiptoed toward the public toilet.

This public toilet was an old‑style structure, separated for men and women, but the pits at the rear were connected, sharing only one vent and one cleanout opening. Bang Geng sneaked behind the men's toilet, found the dark cleanout opening, held his breath, and quickly tossed the lit cracker inside, then turned and ran!

The "hiss" of the burning fuse was especially clear in the silence.

Bang Geng had just taken a few steps when he heard from deep inside the pit behind him a heavy yet powerful "thud"! It wasn't really thunder; it sounded more like something exploding inside a jar, accompanied by a thick, reverberating echo.

Success! Bang Geng and the other kids were first stunned, then burst out with an unstoppable, triumphant evil laugh.

However, their laughter hadn't faded when a shrill, distorted wail came from inside the men's toilet!

"Ah——!! Which damned, smoke‑bringing little bastard!! Oh my god!! My mother——!!"

This voice…… how could it sound so much like Third Elder Yan Bu Gui from the front courtyard?!

The smiles on the kids' faces froze instantly; they glanced at each other, seeing terror reflected in each other's eyes! They'd caused a big disaster!

Only a clattering noise came from inside the toilet, accompanied by Yan Bu Gui's angry, tear‑filled curses and retching. Then the toilet door was flung open, and a figure tumbled out crawling!

Who else could it be but Yan Bu Gui?

But at this moment, Third Elder Yan Bu Gui looked…… truly pitiful! His khaki Zhongshan suit, which he had only dared to wear for the New Year and had been washed until it was white, was splattered all over with yellow‑brown, indescribable filth; his face, his glasses lenses were also stained, and a few suspicious bits of paper clung to his hair. He emitted a nauseating smell, one hand holding up his pants (obviously not yet fastened), the other hand randomly wiping his face, making it even messier.

"You little beasts! A bunch of uneducated brats!! Don't run! Old man saw you!!" Yan Bu Gui trembled with rage, no longer caring about decorum, stamping his feet and shouting loudly, trying to make out which kids they were, but his glasses were smeared, his vision blurred, and he only saw a few blurry silhouettes screaming and scattering, vanishing instantly around the alley corner.

Bang Geng and the others had already been scared witless, they summoned all their strength and ran back to the siheyuan, each diving into their own homes, hearts pounding, not daring to take a breath, afraid Yan Bu Gui would come after them.

Yan Bu Gui stomped and cursed on the spot for a long while; a cold wind blew, the filth on his body turned icy and bone‑chilling, making even himself unable to bear it. He could only endure his sky‑high anger and nausea, staggering back to his own home in the front courtyard, leaving a dirty footprint with each step.

As soon as he entered, he frightened the couple of Third Elder Ma and Yan Jiecheng who were tidying the room!

"Oh my heavens! Old Yan! What…… what happened to you?!" Third Elder Ma was so shocked her rag fell from her hand.

Yu Xiulian also covered her nose, instinctively stepping back.

Yan Bu Gui's face turned ashen, his lips trembled, he could hardly speak: "Still…… still what could happen?! Let those little bastards harm me! Throwing crackers into the pit!! It exploded!! All over me!!" He almost cried out, a lifetime of dignity and calculation vanished in this moment.

He hurriedly told his wife to boil water, and he scrubbed himself from head to toe countless times; the Zhongshan suit he wore for the New Year was completely ruined, he threw it disgustedly into a corner, not even wanting to use it as a rag.

After bathing and changing into old clothes, Yan Bu Gui's anger in his heart not only didn't subside, it burned fiercer! Utter shame! Utter shame! It's the first day of the lunar new year! How will he ever hold his head up in the courtyard from now on?

He decided to investigate! He must pull out the culprit!

He first went to First Elder Yi Zhonghai, tears and voice breaking as he accused the kids' misdeeds, demanding a full‑courtyard meeting to thoroughly investigate the perpetrators.

Yi Zhonghai looked at Yan Bu Gui's face, washed red yet still hard to hide the gloom, was also torn between laughter and tears, could only comfort: "Old Yan, first calm down, it's the New Year. This matter…… the kids were just playing, I will definitely look into it, I will definitely look into it!"

But how to investigate? At the time only those few kids were near the toilet—Bang Geng, Yan Jiefang, Liu Guangtian…… all notorious troublemakers in the courtyard. Yet nobody would admit it! Ask around, and they'd surely say "It wasn't me," "I didn't see anything," "I had already gone home."

Yan Bu Gui himself went to ask those kids; sure enough, each shook their heads like a rattle‑drum, wore innocent expressions, insisted they were just setting off crackers nearby, never approached the toilet, and had no idea who threw it.

Bang Geng even acted superb, blinking his big eyes: "Third Elder, I really didn't see it, I was far away! Maybe the cracker fell in by itself?"

This made Yan Bu Gui so angry he almost fainted.

Without eyewitnesses, without solid evidence, based only on speculation, guilt cannot be established. This mute loss, Yan Bu Gui is doomed to bear. He can only wear a grim face, muttering curses behind backs in the courtyard for several days, saying things like "damned and smoke‑bringing," "when they grow up they'll still be no good," etc., but aside from making a few suspected kids' parents secretly laugh and whisper to keep their children away from him, it had no effect.

In the west wing courtyard, Li Ping'an also heard about this farce. Seeing Yan Bu Gui these days walking around like a plague god, bringing low pressure wherever he goes, he merely shook his head. Children's pranks sometimes really go too far, but Yan Bu Gui usually schemes too much, his social ties are average, now wanting to find the real culprit is difficult.

Thus the "toilet explosion case" of the first day of the lunar new year became the first, and also the most flavorful, unsolved mystery in the siheyuan's New Year, turned into another unsettled muddy account on Yan Bu Gui's heart, and let Bang Geng and the other kids secretly gloat for several days, further boosting their wicked arrogance. And this year, amidst this laugh‑and‑tear farce, continued its hustle and bustle as well as its peace.