Chapter 369: Difficulties

On January 17, 1985, I still had to return to my hometown. Even though I could escape for one summer vacation, I truly couldn't find a reason not to go back for the New Year holidays. I had to face the dark side of my hometown, as well as the girl I didn't dare to face.

I had also tried to investigate the girl's identity, but this was as difficult as ascending to heaven.

Wang Liwen and his family did not allow her to live in the village using her former identity. Everything that could prove her identity had been destroyed by Wang Liwen and his wife. Before she gave birth to a child for their family, they would not let her leave the village either, so almost no one knew what her name was or where she came from.

I also heard about it from my mother; I only knew her name was Zhang Manjun. The information might be relatively reliable; after all, my mother had also asked the people who sold her.

My mother likely saw through my thoughts. She told me very calmly, "Shenzhou is so big, where are you supposed to look? Your Uncle Liwen's family, and those who sell people, won't let anyone easily contact that girl, at least not until she gives birth to a child."

At first, I wouldn't give up, secretly pitting myself against them.

I had once heard Zhang Manjun speak from afar; her accent was from Gan. I had then gone to the Enforcer bureau in Gan under the pretext of conducting field research to inquire about missing persons.

But when I saw the dense list of missing persons and the missing person notices as thick as a dictionary, I only felt that I was witnessing the profound sins of humanity.

I bit the bullet and finished flipping through and reading them all, but the result was that among the five people with the same name that I found, not a single one matched the girl's characteristics.

Having done this, I was already somewhat exhausted in body and spirit.

I thought my mother might have lied to me, or that those bastards had lied to my mother; the girl might not be named Zhang Manjun.

I could only try my best to find someone who matched the girl's traits among the vast sea of missing person notices, which caused the search progress to be very slow.

I didn't dare tell Minghao about this; I was afraid he would despise me, or perhaps I was afraid he would despise my family, just as I didn't dare to face my own hometown.

I now feel a loathing from the bottom of my heart for the native land I once loved, and for the people who live there, including my parents...

On January 19, 1985, I returned to my hometown. On the first day back, I learned about Zhang Manjun from my mother; she had recently given birth to a child for Wang Zhicheng.

My father also brought this up at the dinner table and mentioned it was a son. At that moment, neither my mother nor I spoke. My mother seemed somewhat fearful and dejected. During this time, my father looked at me a few times and asked about my relationship with Minghao, and I quickly felt a chill in my heart as well.

Because she had given birth to the child and finished her postpartum recovery, Wang Liwen and his family no longer restricted Zhang Manjun. Zhang Manjun could walk out of the house, and only then did I have the opportunity to talk to her.

After a year of not seeing her, I found that she had almost completely blended in with the women of the village, at least on the surface.

When she saw me, she stared at me fixedly for a long time. I was unnerved by her gaze.

I thought she was holding a grudge against me. After all, as a woman, I was one of the few people in the village who cared about or sympathized with her situation, yet I had completely failed to save her from the sea of misery, and I hadn't even seen her once in this past year.

But the first sentence she spoke left me stunned.

She said thank you to me.

This left me at a loss, bewildered and confused.

I walked with her in the village, but almost exclusively in the area north of the village. She said calmly that she had to let the neighbors see her existence, otherwise her father-in-law would scold her.

I knew Wang Liwen was a hot-tempered and irritable guy; in fact, it was certainly far more serious than just "scolding."

I discovered that she was actually a quite excellent girl. She knew a lot, at least she was more learned than I was, especially in the study of religious philosophy, which made me feel ashamed of my own inferiority.

I had come to find her intending to state my position; I wanted to rescue her and, incidentally, comfort her after she had suffered so much torture over the past year.

But I didn't expect her to chat and laugh with me so easily, and I unknowingly forgot about her situation, treating her with the same ease and comfort as I would a friend from university.

It wasn't until she spoke of her life experiences at Xiangcui University that I was stung back to reality by the beautiful and warm things she described, and I felt deeply heartbroken and felt it was such a waste for her.

While passing through a deserted patch of woods with her, I expressed to her my intention that I would definitely save her and get her out.

After hearing this, Zhang Manjun stared at me very seriously for a long time, then asked out of the blue, "When does your vacation end?"

I told her the truth, that I could stay here at most until the Lantern Festival, and after that, I had to return to school.

She didn't speak again. Just as she and I returned to that home she had no choice but to go back to, she suddenly told me with a cold expression that she hated me, because seeing me reminded her that she once could have been like me—no, even better off than I was—and told me not to come looking for her again in the future.

At the time, I only felt aggrieved and sad, while also feeling deeply guilty, unable to refute her.

Before I left in low spirits, she asked me another question out of the blue: "Do you believe there are gods in this world?"

I turned my head back, thinking in my heart that I didn't want the other person to give up hope of escaping the village, and said, "I do."

She seemed to have received a satisfactory answer and smiled at me. That sallow, rough face still made me feel for an instant that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

She said "Goodbye" to me once more, and then, without looking back, returned to that cage.

I swear, I will save her!

January 20, 1985. Today is New Year's Eve, and the whole village is full of joy, except for Wang Zhicheng's house. I heard from my dad that Wang Liwen's newly born grandson is sick. I was a bit worried about Manjun's situation and ran over during a gap, but Manjun didn't want to see me.

I could only take a look from afar through the crack in the door at Manjun, who was nursing the child in the room. I saw her expressionlessly feeding the child under the watchful eyes of the whole family.

For no reason, I felt a bit afraid in my heart, afraid that Manjun might do something foolish.

January 24, 1985. I heard the terrible news from my mother: the child Manjun gave birth to after an eight-month pregnancy had died of illness.

Upon hearing this news, I almost instinctively ran to Wang Liwen's house, and then I saw Manjun, who was being beaten black and blue, with a bloody head, by that family of animals.

Manjun seemed to have gone mad. She didn't cry, nor did she scream in pain, but just said numbly, "The crows are calling, there are crows calling, they ate the child."

Seeing this scene, I could no longer hold back. I blocked Manjun's path and cursed at Wang Liwen's family, demanding to know why they were targeting her like this.

Wang Liwen and his wife were furious and wanted to beat me as well.

It was my father who appeared in time; he stopped this atrocity and then dragged me home with a dark face. Once home, he scolded me roundly for being ignorant and told me never to meddle in their family's affairs again.

How could I? I promised her, I was going to save her!