Chapter 1558: Inspecting the Goods (Two-in-One)

Footsteps echoed, reverberating through the grand hall.

Liang Qu faced the throne, hands clasped behind his back.

"I've considered this for a long time. Today the world is unified; you and I are no longer what we once were. The karmic ties and contingencies of the past have long since outlived their usefulness.

It's time to end this relationship that cannot see the light of day. Li Xianghan, I'm giving you three great fortuitous medicines. Let's part on good terms here and go our separate ways.

This matter does me no harm — each served their own master, each plotted their own schemes; deception is the way of war. But for you and Azure Valley, it would be greatly disadvantageous. Rest assured, I won't breathe a word of what you did and were as a sleeper agent here; you're still the Heaven's Pride of the Southern Frontier————"

"Wah! No, Prince Huai, Prince Huai, you have no heart! You promised me three years of feedback, delayed three years, pushed it back three years, after three years another three years — it's been nearly ten years and you still haven't given me enough! Don't abandon me here! I, I can warm Prince Huai's bed! Even though I'm over thirty, I'm still a virgin!"

Li Xianghan lunged forward, hugging Liang Qu's thigh, bawling loudly.

Three rats tumbled to the ground, reacted, and one after another bounced onto the white jade bricks, clinging to Liang Qu, tugging at his trousers, wiping tears with their claws.

"Audacious madman!" Liang Qu was greatly startled and rebuked sharply, "A mere destined person, yet you want to take everything? Woman! Truly greedy, insatiable as a snake swallowing an elephant!"

"Wah, Xianghan's devoted heart for Prince Huai — heaven and earth can attest! Prince Huai, Prince Huai, how can I go on without you? I've experienced

once those days of slow cultivation — I can never go back to that life."

Li Xianghan pressed two fingers together, sword-finger pointing at the heavens, one handful of snot and one handful of tears, shaking Liang Qu's thigh.

"Let go, let go! You're wiping snot on my trouser leg! Do you know Dragon Dragon Lingxiao? The plaque!"

"Wah————I won't let go, I won't let go!"

Li Xianghan clutched the trouser leg, pressed it to her nose and inhaled hard————

*Whoosh. *

The Yinglong circulation activated; a large glob of snot splattered onto Li Xianghan's face.

"Yah~"

Li Xianghan knelt retching; once she reacted, she immediately rubbed her face against it.

Liang Qu laughed in exasperation.

*Whoosh! *

The three rats floated weightlessly in midair, tails holding tails, linked into a line.

Li Xianghan realized she had floated into the air; facing Liang Qu's cold gaze with hands behind his back, she immediately spread her arms, paddled the air, trying to swim forward — but for every stretch forward, she drifted back a stretch; the hands-behind-back Liang Qu before her became a reality she could never reach.

"Wah! Prince Huai doesn't keep his word, doesn't keep his word! Use people when needed, discard them when not. My dragon dream is ruined — no use for an inside agent anymore, so you go back on your word! My life is so bitter.

Painstakingly stealing intelligence, enduring the dual torture of conscience and morality, reduced to this — more wretched than catching a venereal disease and being kicked out by a procuress. Boo-hoo-hoo."

Li Xianghan gave up trying to approach, throwing a tantrum in midair, spinning like a top.

The three rats spun along, tails twisted into a braid.

Liang Qu's face darkened: "You still have a conscience and morality?"

"Wah!" Li Xianghan cried even louder.

A high-pitched note drilled into the skull; Liang Qu's forehead ached.

*Whoosh! *

Golden light crisscrossed; A Wei flew in with a little belly and a long body, like a large wristwatch, full and satisfied — and froze at the sight of Li Xianghan swimming in midair.

Li Xianghan's eyes instantly lit up; she begged loudly, seeking a roundabout rescue: "A Wei, Grandpa Wei, please intercede for me! Don't leave me! Food, drink, expenses — little female centipede, nightly revelry — I've never shortchanged Grandpa Wei!"

A Wei vibrated its wings, a hundred legs shaking in unison.

What little female centipede? Don't know her, no relation!

Slander.

Naked slander!

"Wah, no little female centipede, no little female centipede, Grandpa Wei, I was wrong, don't just watch me die!"

A Wei's wings trembled, its face showing a few degrees of conflict.

A long while.

It clicked its mouthparts at Liang Qu.

Liang Qu didn't speak.

A long time.

Li Xianghan despaired completely: "Then I don't want the three-year feedback anymore, don't want the three-year feedback! Prince Huai, don't separate me and Grandpa Wei————"

" — this is what you said yourself!"

The grand hall fell silent.

Li Xianghan: "?"

Huai'd — fell for the trap.

This man cut his hair — did he cut away his conscience too?

I'm super screwed — such a sinister scheme, used on a kind, innocent, pure, flawless little girl?

Life's three great joys: promotion, fortune, wife dies — just reached Spirit Transformation and he kicks her to the curb?

"Fine then." Liang Qu let out a long sigh. "Since A Wei interceded, and you beg so earnestly, let's do as you say — cancel the three-year feedback, keep your destined person status."

Li Xianghan slumped to the ground, eyes vacant.

The three rats likewise sat on their rumps, fur disheveled, wretched and broken, on the verge of tears.

The Spirit Transformation feedback dream — shattered.

Her dragon dream, her furnace dream————

Liang Qu crouched down: "What's there to be sad about? However you look at it, this is a good thing for you. Spirit Transformation feedback — could you even handle it?"

"I can handle it!"

"You can't handle it!"

Li Xianghan glanced sideways, her face written all over with "Hoodwinking, keep on hoodwinking."

Liang Qu laughed heartily, waving a hand: "Believe it or not, up to you. Go squat there and eat the banquet. If it's not enough, let Awei help you add more. Don't say my Long Gong mistreats you."

Li Xianghan hurriedly wiped her face.

Her field of vision abruptly changed.

Chopsticks stuffed back into her hand, a clamorous din at her ear; in the distance, the Long Gong's Grand Preceptor chased a large fat toad, beating it and raising masses of bubbles, while a giant Tridacna crawled slowly at the side.

She had returned to the banquet table once more.

Li Yilin found it strange, only feeling that the Li Xianghan before her blurred for a moment, her emotions visibly sinking: "Xianghan, what's wrong? You were fine just now, how did you suddenly lose interest?"

"Nothing, Grandmother." Li Xianghan squeezed out a smile, "Just thinking about some things."

Sniffling hard, Li Xianghan picked up her chopsticks again and fiercely stabbed at the fish head.

She wanted to eat fiercely, eat the Long Gong into bankruptcy, make Liang Qu go bust, to compensate for the loss!

"All settled!"

Liang Qu clapped his hands.

Li Xianghan leaned against him and just kept leaning, but stopped at Awei's level.

He wasn't the type to turn his face and deny someone; he couldn't bear to replace things he'd used for a long time. He just thought about having to perform spirit-summoning daily for two more years, and genuinely found it very troublesome.

The Small Position Fruit authority was all shared with her; once Awei builds up enough seniority and follows the Demon King, the feedback from this piece won't fall short of her no matter what.

"I thought Husband would be like Suhebaru and leave the Southern Frontier Tusi in place." Long Eying walked out quietly, speaking and smiling pleasantly.

"Not the same, not suitable." Liang Qu shook his head.

"Where's the difference?"

"Both are public. The Northern Court's Suhebaru is still that Northern Court Suhebaru, unchanged. But the Southern Frontier's Li Xianghan is no longer that Southern Frontier Li Xianghan.

Perhaps her status will be lofty for a time, but that's because of me, not because of Li Xianghan herself. From now on, she will never have an independent personality again, thoroughly dependent on me. If I'm gone one day————"

"Forbidden to say." Long Eying turned serious.

"Alright, want me to spit three times to ward off bad luck?"

"Yes."

"Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!" Liang Qu shrugged, "Anyway, that's the meaning. If I disappear one day, this two-faced, contradictory little girl will get the Southern Frontier people to beat her to death with random sticks, or drown her in spit.

Conversely, living muddle-headedly, she'd still remain a Southern Frontier pride. Even if Qingyugu declines one day, as long as she stays proper and doesn't do anything outrageous like treason, she'll still be respected.

She's not a good person, but not especially bad either. A bit vain, likes matching wits and courage. But however you put it, she helped me back then; I can't cut off her way out."

"Thinking like this, that girl herself might not be unwilling."

"She's willing, but I'm not willing." Liang Qu smiled.

Don't know if it's her unique life experience, but Li Xianghan's personality isn't independent, and not sound either. But Liang Qu himself is sound.

He turned his head to look at Awei.

"Awei, well done!"

A hundred articulated limbs folded ninety degrees, a hundredfold loyalty.

Requesting authority release.

"Cough———— A Fei's been this fierce lately? Fist came asking last time too————"

Awei's mouthparts opened and closed, fast enough to leave afterimages, *ka ka ka* ringing in a continuous stream, weeping with both voice and tears.

Fat Fish, greedy by nature, deceives superiors and conceals from subordinates, colludes with court politics, suppresses dissidents, lines his own pockets, sells offices and titles, forms cliques for selfish ends, harms loyal and good officials, perverts the law for personal gain, indulges in extreme luxury, brings calamity to the country and harm to the people, deceives the Emperor's hearing, plots treason, throws the harem into chaos——————

Weird.

This articulate?

Water beasts recognizing characters was taught by Old Tridacna; speaking was taught by Long Eying. Basically all take about a year after becoming yaoguai to practice until smooth. Awei was the latest among them, perhaps due to the insect carapace, making it harder to change vocal structure, so he's taciturn and even has a stutter when anxious.

Liang Qu felt awkward.

Position Fruit authority differs from cultivation realm; this thing, if not careful, produces consequences very hard to eliminate — like the Sea Lynx King's malignant birth, causing illuminated flesh to wildly and malignantly proliferate. Even outside his own heaven-earth藏, he could only cut it off and regrow. Plus Awei and Fist's authorities are special, all restricted in use.

"Fine. When the banquet ends, full one hundred percent release permitted. Just don't fight in the Long Gong."

Awei's eyes emitted a brilliant light.

Articulated limbs folded ninety degrees.

Jin Guang shot out crisscrossing.

"Troop review, grand troop review! Right at the Long Gong plaza. Demon King, all Great Demons, come! Make Cangshou old man goose-step, make Tridacna old man form square formations, hahaha!"

Old Toad danced with webbed feet, appealing to ambition, imagining himself riding a legless frog for a dazzling entrance, hands on hips and belly out, laughing at the sky.

Grand Preceptor, imposing in all eight directions!

Fat Fish with Old Toad on his head, following along with head high and chest out, hands on hips and belly out, twin whiskers waving, as if directing the nation. Caught up in the emotion, he suddenly shivered, turning his head to look.

Must be a small fish making trouble.

Definitely Third Prince that treacherous little dragon!

Really must severely control Third Prince! Today I'll go back and play dead once, trick it!

"Huh!?"

Third Prince, likewise turned into a "big watch," sat at the center of the table, likewise shivering.

"Hateful, another treacherous fish plotting against this Prince. Must be that blackguard Fat Boy! This Prince, a dignified three-foot little dragon, how can I stay depressed under a fish forever? Great shame, great shame." Third Prince tossed a claw bone. "Laozu Sect! Laozu Sect! When will you bestow me the Yao Dragon Mirage Qi? If not bestowed soon, our Old Mirage clan will go extinct!"

Mirage Dragon: "....."

Fortunate indeed.

"Eat meat, eat meat!" Guan Congjian raised high a bone club.

"Drink wine, drink wine!" Xu Zishuai stomped on a stool.

Ke Wenbin, Xiang Fang Su, Bai Yinbin———— a crowd laughing to the heavens.

"Yi xu wei————"

Lingering memories, like bright sunshine, like flowing water.

"Don't know if you can understand me, but me, I'm the Huaihe River God from now on, you know the Huaihe River? It's this whole place you live in————"

Old Qiqu slowly turned around, telling the other little Qiqu about the past: "In former days, Lord Wang once spoke with me, saying he would one day become the Water Lord.

I did not deeply believe it, yet unexpectedly it has come true today."

Long Gong joyous banquet.

All under heaven feast together.

Yixing Town, Huaiyin Martial Hall, Pingyang Prefecture, layer upon layer spreading outward, all under heaven celebrate together, all guests rejoice.

Deep night.

Dada sweated profusely wielding a huge ladle, the yaoshou scattered away, only the big frogs still eating, leftovers didn't even need cleaning up.

"Quick, eat, eat!" Dafa poured a tray into his own mouth, Erfa poured a tray into his mouth.

"So bloated, Big Brother, can't eat anymore, gonna throw up." Erfa held his belly, webbed claws braced on the ground, leaning against the wall, breathing with difficulty.

"No good, after this meal, it'll be three months before we eat again! Quick, jump a bit, sink down and there'll be room again, finish this tray eat that tray, finish that tray eat the other tray." Dafa panted heavily, stood up and bounced twice, shaking downward.

Seeing this, Erfa followed suit and got up too.

The big frogs leapt out of the water in unison.

"Dong————"

"What's that racket? An earthquake?" Drunken Long You jerked his head up, vaguely recalling something, clutching his forehead, "Right, find the son-in-law and give him a bath first————"

The clamor gradually faded away.

"Phew, this life is sweet, thought I'd have to go mine." Liang Qu stretched lazily.

"Mine?" Long Eying puzzled, "What mine?"

Liang Qu turned serious: "By all rights, after becoming the strongest, I should be in a mine shaft as a black slave swinging a pickaxe, whipped if I work too slow! Rolling on the ground."

Long Eying: "?"

Despite feeling they already knew each other thoroughly, inside and out, there were still many times she could not fully grasp Liang Qu's thoughts.

"Wonder how later generations will record today, Hongjun transmitting the Dao? Discussing the Dao?"

Liang Qu thought cheerfully, suddenly catching sight of Eying organizing papers at the desk beside him, then glancing down and seeing her vermilion ceremonial shoes, for some reason they drew his attention so.

Nothing much happened next————

Long Gong serene, atmosphere quietly shifting, Long Eying's skin flushed faintly, body temperature slowly rising, gradually exuding a unique fragrance.

"Son-in-law! You're here!"

"?"

Liang Qu turned his head, letting the wine-reeking Long You drape an arm over his shoulders: "Son-in-law, didn't you build a hot bathhouse? Can soak and watch shadow plays, come on, let's go wash up, take a look?"

Liang Qu hesitated, meeting Long Eying's crescent-moon eyes, reluctantly: "Fine!"

"Haha, good good good, let's go!" Long You waved a big hand, "After drinking, I'm itchy all over, us two grandpas'll go get comfortable, wash off the stink."

"Washing off stink is simple————"

"Hey, no, need ceremony, can't keep using your Transformation Rainbow trick, you eat shrimp one by one peeling them, can't you just keep me company for a bath?"

Liang Qu was baffled for a moment.

Why did Long You feel so purposeful, it's just a bath, why drag him along?

Liang Qu let Long You pull him away, the atmosphere from just now vanished like smoke, Long Eying smiled, turned to gaze at the empty grand hall, faintly seeing the big frogs leaping and bouncing, gradually spacing out.

Unknown how long, a figure flickered at the door.

Long Eying snapped back, looked closely, shocked: "Mother? What are you doing?"

"Shh————" Long Xiti peeked around furtively, "Eying, your father and Ashui————"

Long Eying smiled: "They went to bathe, Mother, what are you and Father up to? So sneaky?"

Long Xiti relaxed at those words, patted her chest, entered the grand hall: "You don't understand, this is a Dragon People custom!"

"What custom?"

"Being a father means helping the girl check the son-in-law's goods!"

Long Eying froze, for a long while, face flushing red, whispered: "Nonsense, what kind of custom is that? I've never heard of it!"

"Because it's rarely used, Dragon Men and Dragon Women don't have this business, Dragon Women and humans are the ones who calculate."

"?"

Long Xiti took Long Eying's hand, earnestly: "When were you born? It's always been Dragon People seeking Dragon People, never intermarried with outsiders again, so naturally you wouldn't know.

Us Dragon People, our build is completely different from land people. This mortise and tenon, easy to mismatch! Why are you blushing? Serious talk, how do you think this custom came about? Isn't it because that business goes badly? In the early thousand years, how many couples split because of this, that's how the son-in-law and father-in-law bathing rule came to be!"

"Do I not know if it's good or not? We're holding the wedding now, not making up legalities, legalities were how many years ago." Long

Eying furious, "What are you randomly checking for?"

"You know? You know what?" Long Xiti looked her up and down, momentarily amazed, "How come, can't tell, my daughter's quite worldly? Seen how many? What's good, what's bad?"

Long Eying embarrassed, wanted to say she always begged for mercy first, but couldn't say it, face suffused red, couldn't retort, sneered: "So what, if the check comes out bad, you Dragon People just ditch this son-in-law?"

Long Xiti stroked her chin: "True enough, then you go tell them to stop bathing now."

"————" Long Eying held her forehead, "I surrender."

"Good daughter, so cute!" Long Xiti beamed.

Long Eying's cheeks pinched, in a trance she understood a few points, why her father and mother became a pair, Long Xiti isn't all dignified, Long You isn't all young, just like her and Ashui————

The two frolicked and bantered, chatting idly.

Half a shichen vanished in a flash.

Long You and Liang Qu changed clothes, landed back in the Long Gong.

"Deal, son-in-law, promised, another day I'll take you to Luchang River to fish, never been to the Southern Frontier."

"Go!"

"Hahaha, let's go, Lady!" Long You waved.

Long Xiti and Long You came mysteriously, and left mysteriously.

"Strange—"

Liang Qu touched the back of his head.

Inside the hall, Long Eying chuckled, covering her stomach as she leaned over the table.

The fire trees and silver flowers illuminated the square, the giant frog leapt up and down, the vibrations intense.

"How is it? How is it?" Long Xiti asked curiously.

Long You raised his thumb: "Great buddy, took off his underpants, bigger than me, small person, big spirit, I damn well am two chi taller than him!"

Long Xiti: "?"

"No, Eying, what are you laughing at?"

Liang Qu looked bewildered, not knowing why, after his father-in-law and mother-in-law left, Long Eying laughed, the more he asked, the harder she laughed, doubling over.

Uh.

Long Eying flashed her form, Liang Qu felt a weight sink into his embrace.

Liang Qu reached out to support her thigh, soft flesh overflowing between his fingers, he only felt himself embracing a soft, large jellyfish, "tentacles" pressing close to his arm, swaying and drooping, faint touches.

Breath wrapped and clung, sucking at the earlobe.

Fragrance filled and overflowed, moistening the lungs.

"Huu—"

Long Eying pressed against Liang Qu's ear, lightly exhaling, "Husband, let me————inspect the goods~"

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