Chapter 121: Lu Shenyang's Burden

Gu Yunci put on a troubled look and scratched his head. "I don't think I have yet."

Xin Xin gestured for him to bend down and leaned close to his ear. "Don't rush, I'll help you."

Gu Yunci kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Xin Xin."

Lunch was eaten at home.

Meng Shutang was the chef and Gu Yunci helped out.

The two of them talked and laughed; Li Xiuyun, listening from outside, felt that Gu Yunci had truly changed from four years ago.

During lunch, Xin Xin glanced at Gu Yunci, then at Meng Shutang.

"Mommy, Daddy already apologized, can you forgive him just once? Just once..."

Saying that, she cutely held up two fingers, realized that wasn't right, and curled one back.

Meng Shutang lifted her eyes and glanced at Gu Yunci. "Eat properly, don't listen to Daddy's nonsense."

Xin Xin tilted her head and mumbled softly, "But... Xin Xin wants Daddy and Mommy to be okay!

Mommy, can you stop being mad? Forgive Daddy!"

Seeing how serious she was, Meng Shutang teased her. "And what if I don't forgive him?"

Xin Xin suddenly put down her chopsticks, rested her chin in both hands, and looked outside. "Xin Xin feels so sad inside. I want our whole family to be together."

Looking at her adorable expression, Meng Shutang burst out laughing and put the child chopsticks on her. "Alright, I was just teasing you."

She had been listless and low-energy just a moment ago, but switched in a second to a bright, cute smile. "That means Mommy forgave Daddy! Mommy, give Daddy a kiss!"

Meng Shutang's cheeks instantly burned. She glanced at Grandma, who had been watching the show the whole time. "Xin Xin, eat your lunch properly now."

Xin Xin would not let up. "You said forgiving someone means you have to kiss them."

Seeing Meng Shutang still not making a move, she climbed down from the child seat, gently tugged the hem of Meng Shutang's shirt, and shook it. "Just one kiss. Daddy will be really happy."

Earlier, when he had pulled Meng Shutang into the bathroom and the two of them had been so intimate, he hadn't blushed or batted an eye.

But being put on the spot like this by Xin Xin in front of everyone, even the tips of Gu Yunci's ears turned red.

"Alright," Meng Shutang agreed, turned, and kissed Gu Yunci on the cheek, then turned back to look at Xin Xin. "There. Now go back and eat your lunch properly."

"Now my heart is at ease, and I can eat to my heart's content."

She climbed back onto her stool by herself and happily started eating.

After lunch, Xin Xin and Grandma took a nap, while Gu Yunci and Meng Shutang were in the living room outside.

Gu Yunci said he wanted to see photos from when she was pregnant.

Meng Shutang found all the photos and her diary, and Gu Yunci sat there flipping through them page by page.

"This one is a photo I secretly took that day when I went to your office. It's also Xin Xin's first photo. The diary entry I wrote later."

"This one is a prenatal checkup I had after arriving in England."

"This one..."

She wanted to flip past it, but Gu Yunci stopped her.

This diary entry described how miserable her morning sickness was, that she even threw up bile.

During those difficult days, she suffered insomnia at night, went to prenatal checkups alone, and didn't dare tell a single person...

Gu Yunci's fingers trembled, his breathing tightened, and his heart felt as if it had been fiercely squeezed by a hand. His whole body was suffused with suffocating guilt.

He hated himself so much, hated himself to the extreme.

After finishing, he set the things aside and grasped Meng Shutang's hand, both afraid of losing her again and wanting to make it up to her like crazy.

"These past few years, you've been in England the whole time?"

Meng Shutang nodded. "Mm, Brother Shenyang asked someone to arrange a place for me to further my studies."

Gu Yunci was about to ask something else when Grandma came out from her nap.

Gu Yunci stood up nervously. "Grandma, I'd like Shutang and Xin Xin to go to Qian Shui Wan tonight.

Auntie Zhang just called and said the rooms are set up, and wants them to go back and see if they like it."

Grandma hesitated for a moment. "Yunci, it's not convenient for them to go over in the evening. Let's do it tomorrow.

If you have time, come pick them up again."

Gu Yunci thought it over, pressed his lips together, and said, "Alright, I'll listen to Grandma."

Gu Yunci waited until Xin Xin woke up, played with her for a while longer, and only then left.

Since birth, Xin Xin had always had Meng Shutang and Li Xiuyun revolving around her, so she didn't feel like anything was missing when Gu Yunci left.

After Gu Yunci left, during dinner, Li Xiuyun asked Meng Shutang, "In the car on the way back from the hospital, Shenyang didn't say anything to you?"

Meng Shutang knew what Grandma was asking. She popped a cherry tomato into her mouth. "Mm."

"That child... when I saw you two come back, him standing there so clean, open, and gentle, I understood everything."

Meng Shutang said, "Grandma, I've been saying Brother Shenyang has no interest in me. He just treats me like a little sister. Please stop trying to set us up from now on, it's gotten so awkward."

Li Xiuyun shook her head. "It's not that he doesn't love, it's that he loves too much.

Loves so much that he doesn't dare use a single confession to gamble away the chance to stand behind you for the rest of his life.

I watched him grow up. I know his nature better than anyone.

When he was little, he saw his family torn apart like that with his own eyes. He became afraid of love, afraid of marriage."

Meng Shutang frowned slightly. "Grandma, what happened to Brother Shenyang's family?"

Grandma said unhurriedly, "The Uncle Lu you often see is not Shenyang's biological father. He's someone your Aunt Hao found later.

His biological father was an alcoholic and a gambler, and he would also bring disreputable people home.

One time, that man came home drunk and brought a woman to stay the night.

Aunt Hao happened to catch them. When that man was beating and cursing her, threatening to kill her,

she grabbed the knife nearest to hand to fight back, and accidentally... stabbed him to death."

"His father and his mother, in your young people's words, were childhood sweethearts, campus wedding dresses."

"In the end, love still turned into harm, marriage turned into a grave, and the warm home turned into bloodshed and destruction."

In an instant, Meng Shutang froze.

Lu Shenyang doesn't not love her; he dares not love her.

He fears becoming like his father, and fears dragging her into the hell of his childhood.

The fear dominated by his childhood shadows is deeply entrenched.

Li Xiuyun saw Meng Shutang standing there stunned, and then slowly said: "Later, your Aunt Hao was taken away, detained for almost a year; fortunately, she was judged as self-defense, and only then was she released."

Because his mother was innocent, it also didn't affect Lu Shenyang's employment or such.

The harm to his psyche cannot be made up for in a lifetime.

Late at night, just as they were about to sleep, Gu Yunci came over again.

He brought them lots of food and supplies, but Meng Shutang said she didn't need them: "This place is very close to the mall; we can buy things ourselves."

Gu Yunci said, "I bought them, so you don't need to go back and forth."

After saying that, he handed Meng Shutang a black gold-foil envelope, saying, "This is the education fund and trust I bought for Xin Xin; the beneficiaries are you and your grandmother."

Meng Shutang took it and saw written on it: "Family Inheritance and Growth Protection Irrevocable Trust."

Trust funds: 700 million US dollars.

This money is nominally for Xin Xin, but in fact it is for Meng Shutang and Li Xiuyun.

But not accepting it—refusing money meant for a child—would be inappropriate.

But accepting it—such a large amount—would also be inappropriate.

"Too much." Meng Shutang refused.

"It's for the child." Gu Yunci's refusal was decisive.

He gave Meng Shutang no chance to refuse at all.

Gu Yunci was about to say something when the phone rang; he took it out to answer.