Chapter 9: Can't Touch

By the time Meng Shutang returned to her grandmother's house, it was already midnight.

Her grandmother hadn't gone to bed; the table still held warm dishes she loved to eat, but she couldn't swallow a single bite.

Her mind was full of the scene she had just witnessed—Gu Yunci keeping Bai Cixian company. They had clearly been fine before, so why had things suddenly become like this?

"What, had a fight with Yunci and still haven't made up?" The old lady could see she was unhappy and asked lightly.

Meng Shutang had no intention of telling Li Xiuyun about the divorce; she didn't want the old lady to worry with her about Zhou Xingfan's medical expenses.

Once she received the project payment and divorced Gu Yunci, she would tell the old lady without hesitation.

"No, I'm just a bit sleepy."

Li Xiuyun had been through it herself and had seen through it long ago.

"What couple doesn't fight? Bickering is normal, but you can't hold grudges."

She paused. "Tangtang, does he want a child? Once when we were out shopping, I saw him standing in front of a maternity and baby store for a long time."

"You're not young anymore either. You can't just focus on earning money for your mother's treatment and not have children."

As for having children, it really wasn't her fault.

In three years of marriage, Gu Yunci had craved intimacy between them, yet he always controlled himself with perfect restraint, never leaving the slightest possibility of pregnancy.

Even on a few occasions when passion ran high and no precautions were taken, he would slam on the brakes at the critical moment.

She had brought up having children twice, but he had vetoed it both times.

The most recent time, he had directly proposed divorce.

"Grandma, our relationship is very good. Don't overthink it."

Seeing she wouldn't talk, Li Xiuyun asked no more and told her to go to sleep.

Though Meng Shutang was married, her room had always been kept for her at home.

The old lady would take the cotton quilt downstairs to air out every few days, just so she could sleep comfortably when she came back.

At the Zhou family home, Meng Shutang did indeed sleep soundly, sleeping straight until ten in the morning. Since it was Saturday, Li Xiuyun hadn't woken her.

After getting up, she ate lunch, accompanied Li Xiuyun downstairs for a stroll, then went to a nearby supermarket to buy vegetables and fruit, stuffed the refrigerator full, restocked all other necessities, and only then returned to Qian Shui Wan.

When Auntie Zhang saw her return, she smiled warmly. "Young Madam, I'll stew some bird's nest for you. Once it's ready, I'll bring it up to you."

Meng Shutang handed Auntie Zhang the gifts she had bought for the staff. "Alright. These—distribute them among everyone."

Then she went clip-clop up to the third floor.

The attic where Meng Shutang lived was a small bedroom converted from a semi-open storage room.

The peaked ceiling was cramped—at its highest point it was about the same as other rooms, but at the low points she had to duck to walk, and the slightest lapse in attention meant bumping into the rafters.

The space wasn't large; there was a small skylight in the roof, and the light in the room was very poor.

None of that was anything—it was the nights that were hard to endure.

The attic had poor soundproofing, and on late autumn nights it was extremely cold.

On her first night staying here, the quilt was thin, and she had to curl into a ball to barely fall asleep.

This time when she returned to her grandmother's house, she had brought over a thick cotton quilt.

In addition, she had decorated the attic, placing green plants and fresh flowers, arranging it to be soft and cozy.

This would be her home for the next forty-four days, and she had no intention of making herself suffer.

Just as she finished tidying up, Auntie Zhang knocked and brought the bird's nest. Seeing the attic transformed, she said, "Young Madam, you're so clever with your hands."

Saying that, she looked around. "When the Madam was still alive, she loved this room very much."

"She loved to paint here when there was sunlight."

"Back then, the window was left open all day, and the smell of paint would drift all the way downstairs."

"President Gu... would just sit here waiting for her. The two of them, mother and son, would stay for a whole afternoon."

In three years of marriage, Meng Shutang knew that her mother-in-law Chu Fu was a taboo subject in the Gu family.

She was like a person who had never existed, even though she had borne and raised two sons—Gu Yunci and Gu Jin Xing.

No one would ever bring her up on their own.

But lately, for some unknown reason, Auntie Zhang had mentioned her for a second time.

It was as if her death had something to do with her own marriage that was about to end. But what did it have to do with anything? Everything was her own doing.

If she hadn't loved Gu Yunci, if she hadn't left with him on the day of her engagement to Gu Jin Xing, perhaps...

Meng Shutang didn't want to think anymore. She picked up the bird's nest bowl from the tray. "Auntie Zhang, was the Madam a painter when she was alive?"

She recalled that at the company, someone had mentioned that Bai Cixian also loved painting.

Auntie Zhang, seeing Meng Shutang bring it up on her own, nodded happily. "The Madam was very talented. She held quite a few exhibitions—at the Palace Museum, at Zhonglin Dasha—every one of them organized by Mr. Gu for her."

"The Madam was clever with her hands. Whatever she painted was beautiful. It was just that her temperament was too fierce—she couldn't tolerate the slightest grain of sand in her eyes."

Meng Shutang: "But why have I never seen any of the Madam's paintings?"

Auntie Zhang: "... They were burned. Mr. Gu burned them all."

The Mr. Gu she spoke of was Gu Yeheng.

Saying that, she sighed. "Young Madam, I'll head down now. Call me if you need anything."

Meng Shutang sat at the vintage carved wooden desk and began working. While drinking the bird's nest, she seemed to casually glance downstairs and saw Auntie Zhang raise a hand to wipe the corner of her eye as she went down the stairs.

Over the next few days, Gu Yunci did not come back.

The attic was very quiet, except for Auntie Zhang coming up each day to deliver fruit and exchange a few words with her.

Meng Shutang also overheard a conversation between Sister Li and Auntie Zhang. Sister Li said, "Miss Bai was still the better one. If the eldest young master had married Miss Bai in the first place, there wouldn't have been so much trouble."

Auntie Zhang: "Don't mention Miss Bai in the house."

……

One day, Meng Shutang finished eating early and went to her studio.

After a busy morning, at noon, Ruan An reminded her, "Sister Tangtang, this afternoon we need to go to Zhonglin Dasha to collect an award."

It was a project they had entered a long time ago, and their studio had taken first place.

"I know."

Ruan An said, "President Gu said before that he'd go with you on the day of the award ceremony. There's still time—do you want to call him and ask?"

Meng Shutang's hand paused slightly. "Forget it."

He didn't even come home anymore—would he care about some little award of hers?

Ruan An knew they were going through a divorce, but the two of them were a talented man and a beautiful woman who looked like a married couple—how could they really split!

"Sister, whether he goes or not is his business, but if you don't say anything and you happen to run into him… that wouldn't be good."

"We won't run into him."

Gu Yunci was either at the Gu Clan building or keeping Bai Cixian company—he couldn't possibly be so idle as to go there.

Ruan An pursed her lips, took her phone, and slipped out quietly.

Qin Zheng had said before that if they had any matters and couldn't reach Gu Yunci, they should find him.

She called Qin Zheng. "Special Assistant Qin, we won first prize in the 'Ancient Bead Restoration and Cultural Heritage Preservation Project.' President Gu said before he'd accompany Sister Tangtang to collect the award. Is it convenient for him to go?"

Qin Zheng said, "Wait a moment, let me ask."

Two minutes later: "Miss Ruan, please tell the young madam that President Gu is busy and won't be going with her.

But President Gu has ordered flowers—he'll have someone deliver them over."

Ruan An was very happy—this showed that Gu Yunci clearly cared a lot in his heart; he was just a tough-talking king who kept putting on airs!

With her as their gold-medal wingwoman, let's see them actually get divorced!

She rushed excitedly to Meng Shutang's side, only to see Meng Shutang not even lifting her head, her voice as calm as a deep pool of water.

"No need to send the flowers. I'll collect the award myself."