Chapter 145: Choice

After seeing Feng Yan that day, Lin Xiyan's sense of guilt grew stronger.

Although she knew that person was her own creation, or rather, such a game character hardly deserved to be called human.

This is what Lin Xiyan cannot understand: clearly a virtual character, yet Feng Yan liked it, and she even felt that this virtual girl had opened the boy's long‑darkened heart and let him emerge from part of his shadow.

Lin Xiyan naturally wanted to credit this to the character she had created, but the character's death made her lose that thought.

This is precisely why Lin Xiyan had been loitering outside the city, never daring to enter this country—one reason being that she had looked at the map and knew all too well how the country treated adventurers.

"It seems I still can't face this," Lin Xiyan sighed, and yet she finally walked into the country's city.

"It's her!" Feng Yan's eyes flew open as he shouted, startling the palace maid beside him.

"Ah!" the palace maid screamed, knocking over what she held.

"Smack!"

The sound of the object breaking came, and then a group of steward eunuchs appeared, shouting at the palace maid, some even stepping forward to slap her.

"Is this how you serve the Master?" one of the eunuchs harshly reprimanded the palace maid; she dared not resist, only lowering her head and silently enduring his anger.

"What's wrong?" Feng Yan slowly rose, walked to the palace maid's side, and then asked the eunuch in front of him.

"This lowly maid served inadequately; I am disciplining her."

"That's no excuse—do those who serve me really need you to lay hands on them?" Feng Yan retorted after hearing the eunuch's words, glaring at them.

"Get lost, I don't need you meddling." Feng Yan said softly, in a tone that brooked no refusal.

"My lord, why is this?" the maid asked Feng Yan as she watched the eunuchs depart.

After all, she was still in the palace, attending to various consorts, and had grown accustomed to the eunuchs' skin.

"A girl is to be cherished, not used as a punching bag, nor as the dregs of the 'three obediences and four virtues'." Feng Yan said slowly, then left the maid's side.

Feng Yan gradually recovered some memories, recalling a few people's names and some unpleasant past events.

Feng Yan's memories began to slowly return to his mind, making him feel somewhat sorrowful.

He began to feel sorrow for his own experiences, and while sighing, he lamented, gaining a feeling different from before.

"This is probably the pain that comes with growth," Feng Yan said, smiling, his heart full of bitterness.

"Feng Yan." A familiar voice sounded from behind— the voice that fascinated him, and also the decisive one that plunged him into the abyss and endless pain.

"Ah, you've come." Feng Yan's voice, neither sad nor happy, slowly approached the girl before him.

That was Wang Tingwan, wearing the clothes she had worn the day she rejected Feng Yan, appearing once again before Feng Yan's eyes.

This time, however, Wang Tingwan was no longer as resolute as before; instead, she felt regret and a hint of bitterness.

In these past days, Wang Tingwan had imagined the scene of them meeting again—always with Feng Yan suffering from amnesia—and she had wanted to say those words when he lost his memory.

As it turns out, Wang Tingwan's calculations came to nothing; the person before her had already recovered.

"Have you come?" Feng Yan felt embarrassed; knowing what had happened before, he was obviously no longer so composed.

In an instant, Feng Yan's mind filled with many words, ready for a long talk, but seeing the person before him truly appear changed everything.

The words in his mind nearly vanished, and even his heartbeat began to gradually quicken.

But this was not due to affection; rather, it was a very complex feeling, mixed with much betrayed friendship and the pain of being stabbed.

Feng Yan's eyes flickered, almost showing tears. Yes, those several pains, adults cannot understand; they only care about grades.

Wang Tingwan understood him, merely giving a slight nod; she deeply knew that the harm done to Feng Yan was as cold as ice three feet thick.

The two merely locked eyes, exchanging only a few words.

"How?"

"Not bad."

"Does it hurt?"

"It hurts!"

Their brief question‑and‑answer counted as communication; though few words, others might see it as perfunctory, but for Feng Yan it was enough.

"I consider myself someone who has endured much pain; I think, but now it seems the cause of pain is simply the lack of an answer." Feng Yan laughed, offering Wang Tingwan this explanation.

While Wang Tingwan watched Feng Yan, as he cheerfully spoke those words, she felt a pang of guilt and asked, "Is the answer to that question really important?"

"How so?" Feng Yan rubbed his hair, then fixed his gaze on Wang Tingwan's eyes and said solemnly, "For some things, the answer must come from her mouth before it can be considered an ending."

"What a strange person!" Wang Tingwan lightly replied to Feng Yan, smiling.

"Ah." Feng Yan also laughed; at that moment, the knot in his heart seemed half‑undone, and he felt he was closer to the answer he sought.

"She is about to speak." Feng Yan thought.

The wind brushed Feng Yan's hair, also making Wang Tingwan's shawl‑length hair flutter; she tucked the hair at both sides, preparing to speak.

Feng Yan had been quite happy, but not long after, his face darkened.

Wang Tingwan also sensed something amiss, turned her head, and understood in her heart.

Yang Xin also came over, stepping step by step toward himself.

Feng Yan walked forward to meet him, at the same time telling Wang Tingwan, "Why talk about it now; we'll discuss it later."

At this moment, seeing Wang Tingwan and Feng Yan together, Yang Xin's anger flared; Wang Tingwan was his girlfriend—what did it mean to go see Feng Yan now? The more he thought, the angrier he grew, and his steps quickened considerably.

"Yo! You've come." Feng Yan said to Yang Xin.

"Hmm."

The two stood facing each other, the atmosphere once extremely awkward. After all, they had long lost any friendship; now they were merely familiar strangers to each other.

Although they exchanged a few words, each knew better than anyone that their broken friendship was like shattered jade—never to be restored.

Moreover, shattered jade also brings some bad things.

"She's my girlfriend; you're being a bit over the top." Yang Xin said with a smile to Feng Yan, knowing Feng Yan's nature—he would never touch another's belongings.

However, this time Yang Xin was mistaken; upon hearing it, he realized he had thought it impossible for Feng Yan to ever say such words.

"That's just your opinion; she isn't your private property, and she seems not to acknowledge that either." Feng Yan said contemptuously, then flashed a hint of a teasing smile.

Clearly, Yang Xin was mistaken; what he originally thought Feng Yan could not accept the most, Feng Yan now actually does not care about.

Even, he had given up some of his own principles.

"Is it worth it?" Yang Xin felt embarrassed, and asked Feng Yan.

"Ask yourself; all of this was created by us both, but nobody knows that, under the so-called push of fate, our relationship has become like this." Feng Yan still had that smile, calmly answering Yang Xin's question, and the bewilderment in his eyes was also fading.

Yang Xin now clearly understood that the person before him was no longer someone he knew well; why wouldn't he give up? The feelings of the girl before him for him were also beginning to slowly change.

The opportunity that had been promised earlier was merely a push from the friends nearby; for the two people before him, she was merely someone with ordinary feelings, let alone any special treatment.

Wang Tingwan watched the stalemate between the two before her, and began to wonder what exactly should be done to be most appropriate; the self who had always been swayed by friends before now also faced her own choice.

This time, no one was helping.

Yang Xin cast a pleading glance toward Wang Tingwan; she turned her head to the side, and this side happened to meet Feng Yan's eyes.

A pair of hollow eyes seemed to see through everything, and also seemed to be abandoned by everything.

Feng Yan looked at the girl before him, then nodded slightly, indicating his hope that she would follow her own heart in choosing.

Wang Tingwan hesitated; choosing between the two boys who liked her was also painful, and having long been subject to others interfering in her choices, she had long lost her own initiative.

She subconsciously hoped for an acquaintance to consult, even if just to ease the atmosphere, so she could smoothly change the subject and find a chance to slip away.

Yang Xin looked at Wang Tingwan's embarrassed appearance, still spoke up, and asked Feng Yan: "Do you really have to do it this way?"

"That depends on you." Feng Yan only answered with that sentence.

Yang Xin knew that the person before him had already fallen into a dilemma; if he continued to press, the superficial relationship he maintained with her would also gradually break apart.

Yang Xin still couldn't bear it.

Finally, Yang Xin walked up to Feng Yan, lowered his head, and in a negotiating tone, spoke softly: "Feng Yan, can we not drag her into our matters?"

Feng Yan laughed, rubbed Yang Xin's head, then tousled his hair, and whispered in his ear: "It's too late, too late; if you had honestly confessed at school, none of this would have happened."

Yang Xin completely panicked, his voice beginning to tremble, and asked: "What do you want to do?"

Feng Yan remained silent, merely quickly coming to Wang Tingwan's side, and with a pleasant countenance asked: "Then, Student Wang, can you now tell me your answer?"

Wang Tingwan became even more embarrassed; she looked at the two people beside her, finally made up her mind, she glanced at Yang Xin's expression, and then looked at Feng Yan before her.

She made a silent resolution, ensuring that this choice would not be regretted.