Chapter 3: Awakening? Return to School—Deception?

Feng Yan and Chen Hao watched their bodies gradually become transparent and start to vanish, puzzled, and saw the National Preceptor so frightened that he collapsed onto the ground, staring blankly at their disappearance. Chen Hao laughed and said to Feng Yan, "Look, this NPC is still somewhat interesting; even this can be done. Our bodies becoming transparent and about to disappear is probably because the time is up. We should wake up now and go do our own things." They turned around, slowly faded into the air, leaving no trace of their existence as if they had never appeared, while only the National Preceptor remained there.

Ah, Feng Yan yawned and stretched lazily. "What a good dream," he said, then took off his blindfold. At the same time, he wondered whether this was part of a game.

He recalled the words of the madman in that dream: "Born into the world, fall into the world, not for kings or ministers, but to plead for the people. My companions and I lived in a dark, filthy room, windows and doors tightly shut. Later I opened a window and became a sinner, turning into this form." He could not distinguish dream from reality? Feng Yan shook his head: a dream is a dream, a game is a game, he thought, and got out of bed to wash up. After that morning, the afternoon would bring the return to school, so he did his best to fulfill a student's duties. He found that he seemed constantly scolded by his homeroom teacher; thinking of this, he gave a wry smile, noting that he had never once been praised by that teacher, which made him feel down. "Sigh, it seems nothing has changed," he muttered to himself. He went to the kitchen to get food; every morning his grandmother would step out for a while to chat with others, and thus would leave the rice in the pot. How long had this habit been formed? Feng Yan was unsure, perhaps since he began to enjoy sleeping in late. He ate, washed the dishes, and packed his clothes. Because his home was far from the county seat, after finishing lunch he prepared to leave.

After packing his belongings, he sat in his room for a very long time, unwilling to get up. Eventually he stood, and as he prepared to go out for a walk, a beam of light shone straight into his room. He formed his own thoughts, recalling the words of the person in the dream: "Light is innocent; to survive in darkness, the first one to discover light is a criminal." After saying this, he opened the door and went out for a stroll. He saw golden rice fields surrounding him, the golden stalks gradually emerging; a southern breeze blew, carrying the rustling sounds of the fields. The leaves of the big trees, once deep green, turned yellowish and fell with the wind. The autumn air was clear and refreshing. Watching the scenery, Feng Yan understood that a person walks this world not to live for others nor to become what others expect, but to live a flavorful life that satisfies oneself—such is what we call a life. With this realization, his mood lifted, and he continued to look ahead at the scenery.

He watched the scenery and thought, finally feeling relieved. Perhaps this is what is called contemplation, or enlightenment? Feng Yan was not sure. As he kept watching and walking, he hoped this would be how his life was from now on, and that would be enough. "Yeah, this is great," he said, a slight smile curling his mouth as he turned back toward the road home. After that noon, it was time to return to school; Feng Yan, Chen Hao and the others would resume their studies. However, the holiday's joy had made him forget about his homework. When he got home he found piles of assignments, sighed at them, and said, "There's no escaping it." He glanced at the clock—9 o'clock. "Good, I can still make it," Feng Yan laughed. He brought in a chair, sat down, and tackled the homework. For them, all the assignments were completed in the last few hours of the holiday; of course, for them, this was nothing unusual. Feng Yan finished the last Chinese language test paper, but his eyes lingered on a short story printed on it. He read the passage: "That night, together with him, I finally understood that I am just like him. I shed tears, wanting to leave the last bit of warmth in the world for him, so he could get through this cold night."

Seeing that passage, Feng Yan thought, "Not everything on the test paper is boring; some things are worth reading." He checked the time again—11 o'clock. "Time flies," he thought. He knew that soon his grandmother would return, so he packed away the homework; everything was already taken care of. "Going back to school?" Feng Yan still didn't want to, since being looked down upon by teachers was humiliating. He knew he couldn't tell them, couldn't tell his grandmother, nor his parents who worked away from home. He gave a wry smile, packed the items into his backpack, then placed the backpack and suitcase together in the bedroom. After everything was done, he faced his reflection in the mirror and said, "Some things you have to face yourself; no one can help you." Having said that, he turned away, left the bedroom, and walked out. When he stepped out of his room, his grandmother had prepared the meal, which was already on the table. After eating, he took his luggage and headed to the station.

Feng Yan arrived at the station; everything was almost ready. He sighed, realizing that this time he finally didn't have to endure scoldings from the subject teachers and the homeroom teacher. He was happy, and as the train pulled into the platform he boarded to return to school. While thinking, he felt someone call his name from behind. He turned and saw a familiar face—it was her! He was startled at first, then ran toward her. Standing before her, he said, "Long time no see, Lin Xiyan, where do you study?" "Third Middle School," Lin Xiyan replied. "Feng Yan, I've noticed you're much darker than before and have lost a lot of weight; the roundness you had has become sharp." "It's been so long, and you're still as beautiful as ever," Feng Yan laughed, "You too—aside from a bit of darkness, aren't you a beauty like a lotus emerging from water?" Hearing his words, Lin Xiyan's face flushed instantly. He finally took notice of her: she wore a white dress, her hair draped over her shoulders, she had a delicate oval face, eyes like March peach blossoms, a small upturned nose. She was now biting her lip, looking rather captivating. Feng Yan realized he had gone too far with his comment. Her face remained red; Feng Yan had never seen her like this, and at that moment he was stunned, unable to recover his composure for a long time. "Feng Yan, Feng Yan," Lin Xiyan called, seeing him standing there like a piece of wood. Lin Qin laughed, patting him from behind. Feng Yan was first startled, just as he was about to turn his head, he looked behind and saw her watching him, smiling, "It's the first time I've seen you daydream, but I'm still curious when you'll learn to be witty like everyone else."

Lin Xiyan found two seats by the window and pointed to one, saying, "Sit by the window; you always get car sick." After Feng Yan sat in the window seat, he said to Lin Qin, "It's been a few years; do you still remember?" Lin Xiyan laughed, took the seat next to Feng Yan, and said, "You forgot, back then we were on the same bus, and I saw you vomiting and having diarrhea from motion sickness." Feng Yan was initially shocked, then joked, "Then why were you paying so much attention?" Lin Xiyan's expression turned uneasy; she whispered, "We're classmates, isn't caring for each other normal?" "That's true, but where have you been these past years? I haven't seen you recently," Feng Yan asked. "I went to a big city for middle school, but because I didn't have a household registration there, I came back," Lin Qin replied. Hearing this, Feng Yan understood and thought, "So that's it, this reunion feels pretty good!" The bus slowly moved toward the Hall of Knowledge. Feng Yan fell silent, watching his small home recede farther away, feeling reluctant. He turned his head out the window and saw Lin Qin looking at him, so he asked, "Do I have any marks on my face?" Lin Xiyan said, "It's been three years, and you're still the same as before. Not a bit changed." Lin Xiyan's memory flashed to Feng Yan's former appearance: his once round head, the chubby face now lean, the once‑teased willow‑shaped eyebrows had become thick and dark with sharp angles, the slightly plump belly had disappeared, and he was already a teenager. What remained unchanged were his eyes, revealing a melancholy not typical for his age, as if hiding a secret. She wanted to know those secrets, but she also knew he would not speak of them.

"What exactly are you trying to say?" Feng Yan asked her, his eyes fixed on Lin Xiyan. Lin Xiyan had never seen Feng Yan like this; she felt curious and said, "I want to know what's happened to you in these three years; you've become more melancholy than before." Feng Yan fell silent for a moment, then recounted all his middle‑school experiences to her. She was first intrigued, then gradually felt sympathy, and eventually compassion. She said, "A lot has happened." "Hmm," Feng Yan replied. "I'm tired, I want to rest a bit; may I borrow your shoulder?" Lin Xiyan said, and he gradually rested his head on Feng Yan's left shoulder, then added, "You can tell me later; it's better than carrying it alone." "No, you don't want to know too much," Feng Yan said. "Let's rest first; aren't you tired?" She leaned on Feng Yan's left shoulder. Feng Yan's left hand was nowhere to be seen. He watched her with closed eyes, slowly falling asleep, thinking about last week's events, and gave a wry smile, thinking to himself, "Does this count as being petty?" Behind Feng Yan, someone gave a teasing smile. He watched Feng Yan and Lin Xiyan leaning on his shoulder, as if a stone in his heart had finally settled.

Feng Yan let her lean on him, and she gradually fell asleep. He didn't know what to do and asked himself, "What on earth happened to me, becoming such an annoying person?" He couldn't bring himself to wake her, so the bus kept heading toward the county town. He watched the scenery change from golden rice fields to buildings of varying heights, realizing the school was near. He kept thinking, still without an answer; he tried to suppress the thoughts, but whenever he stopped, he didn't know what to do, and anxiety rose, as if he were stuck on a stubborn point, feeling very uncomfortable, until Lin Xiyan woke up. After she woke, she saw Feng Yan still lost in thought; she wanted to ask something but didn't, just watching until the ticket‑selling aunt called out, "The bus for Second Middle School is stopping, we've arrived." He then realized Lin Qin had been awake all along, watching him. Feng Yan said to her, "We've arrived, we should get off." Lin Qin made no move, still seated, and in a teasing tone said, "I have too many things, you have to help me, take me to school." "Alright, Xiao Gan Mao, I'll do it," Feng Yan laughed, but before he finished, a pink fist landed straight on his chest. Feng Yan pretended his chest was hit, squinting his eyes and saying, "You really hit me! Ouch, that hurts…" "Stop pretending, your acting is over‑the‑top, do you think I'll believe it?" Lin Xiyan saw his reaction and burst out laughing.

"Hey, by the way, you're at Third Middle School, right?" "Yeah," Lin Xiyan replied. "Alright, consider me your helper this time, I'll carry your luggage," Feng Yan said. "Don't worry, it's not much," Lin Xiyan answered. Most of the Second Middle School students had already gotten off, and the bus slowly moved. Lin Xiyan leaned against Feng Yan's shoulder, closed her eyes, and said, "It seems this is what reliance feels like—so wonderful, so warm." Feng Yan stopped thinking about those things; his previously clueless left hand now rested on her left shoulder. They gradually arrived at Third Middle School, and after the ticket‑selling aunt's announcement another group of passengers disembarked. Feng Yan and Lin Xiyan got off; he hauled Lin Qin's suitcase and entered the school with her. Feng Yan escorted her to the dormitory entrance, and before leaving Lin Xiyan said, "If anything makes you unhappy, you can tell me." Feng Yan nodded, shouldered his backpack, and walked away, thinking, "What's the big deal? Who she's with is none of my business. Yet why does it still hurt? What is the reason?"

Feng Yan slowly walked back toward Second Middle School, looking down at the road as if afraid of tripping over a stone. He heard someone call his name; looking up, it was Yang Xin, who stopped his electric scooter in front of Feng Yan. Yang Xin said, "Come on, hop on." Feng Yan sat on the back seat, and Yang Xin sped off, the wind brushing Feng Yan's ears as if speaking, "Your best friend lied to you, how does that feel?" When they arrived at school, Yang Xin parked the scooter and said to Feng Yan, "Let's go play on the grass of the playground." Feng Yan followed Yang Xin to the playground; they found a stone to sit on. Yang Xin asked, "Is that girl your girlfriend?" "No, it's not like that; we were just good friends when we were kids," Feng Yan hurriedly explained. "Oh, I see," Yang Xin's eyes flashed disappointment. "What's up?" Feng Yan asked. "Nothing," Yang Xin replied, "I have something else to do, I'm leaving now."

Feng Yan didn't know what Yang Xin was rushing off to, and he didn't ask; he watched him walk away, shaded his eyes with his hand, and fell asleep on the grass.

Feng Yan saw him again, the madman; he witnessed that madman's growth! He saw the madman's talent, saw that the madman was not truly mad, watched him become disappointed step by step, pretended to be mad, hoping the country would change, he~~~ Feng Yan jolted awake from the dream, recalling the dream, smiled, thinking he too had become obsessed with this game. He checked the time—5 o'clock. Feng Yan returned to the classroom, ready to start handing in assignments. At that moment, a few girls in the class started chattering, "I saw Wang Mu's boyfriend!" "Really? Who is it?" "I don't know, but I heard his name is Yang Xin!"

Hearing this, Feng Yan was first startled, then felt a sense of betrayal!