Chapter 48: What Evening Is This, Past and Present?

Leaving the Imperial Palace, I wasn't sure how long I'd been dragged along, only knowing the wind brushed past my ears, my mind a blank, my heart alternating between joy and soreness.

I didn't know how long we had gone when the black-clad man holding me finally stopped.

I looked around; this was already a remote suburb, the surroundings desolate, only a dilapidated hut not far away, seeming lifeless, as if no one had lived there for a long time.

The hand gripping mine suddenly loosened, and I could faintly feel a sticky dampness on my back, the smell of blood filling my nostrils.

I startled, supporting the swaying black-clad man, and asked anxiously, "Bu Sha, how bad is your wound? The bullet must be removed quickly, otherwise your right shoulder..."

A knife was suddenly pressed to my neck; Bu Sha pulled off the black cloth covering his face, his complexion pallid, even his lips somewhat ashen.

His body swayed slightly, unable to stand firm, yet his gaze remained cold as ice, devoid of emotion as he asked, "Why did you only now learn my identity?"

A faint, lingering soreness welled up in my heart, and those nearly forgotten memories suddenly became vividly clear.

I stepped back, grabbed the blade's tip, and clenched it tightly; bright blood flowed down my fair wrist, and I saw his eyes fill with unfathomable surprise.

A sour sensation lodged at the tip of my nose, my eyes alternating between wet and dry; I suppressed my trembling voice and whispered, "When did you change 'Reverse Blade' back to 'Blood Drawing'?"

Bu Sha's body shuddered violently, and in his instantly dilated black pupils was reflected my body, straining to suppress yet helplessly trembling.

His hand gripping the knife trembled, then clenched tighter, drawing out specks of blood from the blade's tip. That was my blood.

His eyes held a light that flickered between bright and dim—sometimes hopeful, sometimes fragile, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes fearful—as if that light accentuated his pallid face, making him tremble incessantly.

"Who... are you really?" he staggered forward a step, his voice trembling like a helpless child's, utterly unlike the world's top assassin.

The aching feeling finally burst into tears, and I well knew that my departure back then would have inflicted great harm upon them.

I clearly knew just how selfish and cowardly I was.

Tears slid past the corners of my mouth, bitterness seeping into my heart, yet inexplicably there was a hint of sweetness. With tears in my eyes, I curled my lips into a faint smile: "The world's top assassin, how could you possibly be so narrow‑minded, lacking bearing, and—"

My body was shoved hard into his broad chest, held tight, viscous blood seeping through his clothes to wet my body. I anxiously pressed against his chest: "Your wound..."

His hand clenched suddenly, squeezing me until I could barely breathe, yet he stubbornly refused to speak or let go, as if fearing that the moment he released me, the person in his arms would vanish like a dream.

I finally ceased struggling, wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tight, tears gushing forth like a spring: "Sorry! Sorry! I really miss you all, I miss you so much!"

Bu Sha remained silent, merely gripping my hand tighter, his hold growing more tense and trembling.

I know I can cry because you are by my side; I know I can be weak because you will surely protect me… like a friend, like a confidant, like the most important kin in the world, forever guarding me and Qiran, forever worthy of unconditional trust.

This is—Bu Sha!

"Bu Sha, are you sure you want to extract the bullet this way?" my voice trembled, just like my hand gripping the dagger.

Bu Sha silently nodded.

There was no anesthetic, no disinfectant, no fire to heat the dagger, not even a clean bandage.

"How… how am I supposed to cut with this knife?" I wiped away the newly seeping blood over and over, knowing full well that every second delayed put Bu Sha in greater danger.

Yet I hovered the dagger over his shoulder again and again, my face deathly pale yet unable to strike, and I blurted resentfully, "Aren't you long retired from being an assassin? What fun is it to sneak into the Imperial Palace just to kill me?"

A fleeting, almost imperceptible smile flickered in Bu Sha's eyes, as if tinged with bitterness and relief, and he said coolly, "At least I know you're still alive."

Ignoring the deeper meaning in his tone, I gritted my teeth, and the dagger in my hand lightly pierced his right shoulder, then swiftly sliced through his slightly bronzed skin.

A muffled groan escaped Bu Sha's throat, his body trembling slightly.

Blood dripped drop by drop along the blade onto the white skirt spread out from my kneeling seat, stark, vivid, eye‑catching…

The fragments of the bullet casing were finally pried out by the blade's tip; my trembling hand could no longer hold the dagger, and the mental and physical anguish left me utterly exhausted, almost collapsing to the ground.

Bu Sha's face was as pale as paper, his lips devoid of color, yet he calmly reached out to seal the nearby acupoints around his wound.

I was about to rise to help bandage him when a "squeak" sounded, and immediately a fluffy white‑silver creature lunged into my arms.

I stared, somewhat startled, at its black‑glossy eyes and said, "Xiao Yin, how did you find me?"

Suddenly recalling something, I grew nervous and asked, "Xiao Yin, you didn't bring anyone else with you, did you?"

Xiao Yin shook its head vigorously, eyes full of grievance and worry as it looked at me, squeaking incessantly.

My heart softened, recalling my old promise, and I hurriedly spoke softly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to abandon you. It's just that…"

Turning back to see Bu Sha's pallid, indifferent face, I suddenly exclaimed joyfully, "With Xiao Yin here, what's there to worry about regarding your wound?"

It was rare to see Bu Sha's eternally icy visage show a hint of bewilderment and surprise; I satisfiedly checked his already‑scabbed wound, then scooped up Xiao Yin and sat beside him.

Moonlight poured into the ruined hut, and I could see dust motes drifting silently in the beams.

"Bu Sha." I called out, knowing he wouldn't answer, and continued, "Why did you abduct me?"

Bu Sha's normally icy face flashed with an odd hue, his hand at his side tightening slightly, and he asked, "Are you really the Empress?"

I nodded, but the words caught in my throat and I didn't know how to speak.

Bu Sha turned his head to look at me, his gaze as still as a black curtain, devoid of blame or resentment, only a faint sorrow; his bloodless lips pressed together slightly but he remained silent.

I helplessly gave a bitter smile; this grief, this chill, spoke louder than any words, compelling me to explain.

I took from my waist a sheet of paper folded into a small square and handed it to him, watching silently as he unfolded it, read it quietly; his face remained icy as before, yet his eyes gradually gained a faint gleam.

I smiled faintly, blocking his hand as he tried to return the paper, and said seriously, "For safety's sake, let's keep it with you for now."

He gazed at me for a long while, then finally nodded, folding the paper back to its original shape and putting it away carefully.

Seeing his solemn expression, I felt a bit happier and asked, "Now it's your turn to tell me why you abducted me, right?"

His face was cold, his voice calm as if he weren't speaking of himself: "I need the Four Holy Stones; someone set the terms, and I will fulfill them."

"The Four Holy Stones?" I asked in surprise, "What are those?"

Hey! Hey! It's been ages since we last met—why are you looking at me like I'm a monster?

Bu Sha's eyes held a hint of helplessness, also a faint smile, as he produced a black and a green stone from his bosom and laid them before me.

I examined them closely for a moment, then suddenly seized his wrist and exclaimed, "Isn't this the Black Tortoise Stone?"

Bu Sha silently nodded.

I picked up the green stone with some interest, nodded, and said, "I see. This must be the Azure Dragon Stone, right? The so‑called Four Holy are the Azure Dragon, White Tiger, Vermilion Bird, and Black Tortoise."

"But what are the Four Holy Stones used for? Why do you need them?"

Bu Sha shook his head calmly and said coldly, "It's not something I can reveal yet."

"Oh." I toyed with the blue‑green stone in my hand and said lightly, "Who exactly is holding me hostage? You can at least tell me, right?"

A cold glint flashed in Bu Sha's eyes, his mouth lifting slightly, "It's someone you would never imagine."

"Who?"

"Yin Ziheng."

I tilted my head, thought for a while, and exclaimed in surprise, "Who is Yin Ziheng?"

The coldness on Bu Sha's face froze at that moment; after a long pause he slowly shook his head and said, "Wangjiang Tower, Linhu Village, the Fourth Prince of the Yin Kingdom."

"It's him?!" I shouted, then my expression grew serious, "Isn't he the one who only loves composing poetry under the moon, living carefree? How did he get tangled in these political struggles?"

Bu Sha gave a cold smile and said, "He brought the Azure Dragon Stone; that surprised me as well."

I shrugged indifferently, too lazy to ponder these trivial tricks. I returned the Azure Dragon Stone in my hand to Bu Sha, and suddenly felt a stir—these two stones looked oddly familiar…

I let out an "Ah—" and hurriedly pulled the red stone Xiao Yin had given me from my bosom, placing it in my hand; my slender, fair hand spread beside Bu Sha's slightly dark large hand.

A hint of surprise flickered in Bu Sha's eyes as he said in a deep voice, "Vermilion Bird Stone."

"It's really Vermilion Bird Stone?" I wore a baffled expression, as if I'd unearthed a treasure, my astonishment outweighing my joy, "I thought it was just an ordinary medicinal stone!"

"Xiao Yin, where did you get such an extravagant thing?" Xiao Yin nudged deeper into my chest, then looked warily at Bu Sha.

I gently turned my hand to the side, back of the hand up, palm down, and the Vermilion Bird Stone rolled steadily into Bu Sha's hand.

Bu Sha's expression remained calm as he looked at me, but a faint ripple of water shimmered in his eyes, warming my heart.

"Squeak—" Xiao Yin let out a shriek and leapt into Bu Sha's hand, a sudden slash of blood marring Bu Sha's wrist.

"Xiao Yin!" I panicked, snatched it back, holding the clawed creature up before me. What's wrong? Xiao Yin normally neither pays attention nor shuns others—why does it harbor such hostility only toward Bu Sha?

No, that's wrong! It's not hating Bu Sha; it just… doesn't want Bu Sha to take the Vermilion Bird Stone.

I looked earnestly at its faintly reddened yet still black‑glass‑like beautiful eyes and asked, "Xiao Yin, is that Vermilion Bird Stone important to you?"

In Xiao Yin's eyes were grievance and pain, yet it still looked at me and nodded.

"Then why did you give it to me?" My gaze softened and deepened as I cradled it, gently stroking its smooth white fur, "Is it because you think I'm more important than the stone, right?"

Xiao Yin lifted its head from my chest, watery light filling its eyes, quietly watching me.

"I feel the same. You gave me this stone, so it's important to me, not because it's Vermilion Bird Stone. But Xiao Yin, Bu Sha is my friend; to me, he matters more than any stone."

"Just as you were willing to give it to me, I want to give it to Bu Sha. May I?"

In the dilapidated hut, moonlight drifted softly, like silver sand spilling over us.

In his black‑glass eyes, calmness deepened, reflecting the silvery moonlight; Xiao Yin gently slipped into my arms, as if in this life it never wanted to leave that warmth, that embrace.

Bu Sha's hand clenched tightly, and his black pupils looked unexpectedly clear and pure, as if a tender light flickered abruptly within his cold, thin aura.

This moonlight, this warmth, this gentleness—all made me unable to suppress a faint smile.

Xiao Yin fell into a deep sleep in my arms; I twirled a dried branch over the fire, its glow warming my face. Ten thousand questions swirled in my heart, yet I didn't know how to begin.

My grip on the branch tightened, the rough bark rubbing my palm until it tingled; I lowered my head, my chin nearly touching my chest, and in a faint, trembling voice asked, "Is he… okay?"

Bu Sha sat before the fire, his gaze heavy, yet he gave no reply. The hut was so quiet it made my heart ache with a burning pain; aside from my own drum‑like heartbeat, I heard nothing else.

Perhaps there was never any sound in my ears to begin with.

I have no idea how long that endless stretch lasted, but I heard Bu Sha quietly utter two words: "Not good."

It felt as if someone had yanked my heart, pain making tears want to fall. My cracked lips moved, yet I couldn't utter a single word; the three simple characters—"Why"—were stuck as if cursed, refusing to be spoken.

"You really don't know?"

"Really… do you need to ask why?"

My hand clenched the branch tightly until the damp ache seeped into my palm. I lifted my head, looking at Bu Sha, "Why aren't you with him?"

In a daze, I saw endless sorrow, loneliness, and grief pouring from Bu Sha's eyes; his face no longer bore its usual indifferent calm. Such intense emotion, reflected in his gaze, left me momentarily stunned.

Bu Sha slowly averted his eyes, his body curling slightly as he slipped into the shadows, the moonlight no longer reaching his face or expression.

He spoke slowly, his voice indifferent yet piercingly sorrowful, "I betrayed Qi… Ran."

I abruptly dropped the branch, knelt before him, circling the fire. The vivid crimson flames danced on his face and in my eyes.

My gaze never wavered as I stared into his black eyes, earnestly asking, "Qi Ran, do you believe?"

I quietly said to him, "Qi Ran, do you believe?"

He suddenly widened his eyes, staring at me in shock; whether indifferent or sorrowful, everything froze in that instant.

He lifted the corner of his mouth and burst into sudden laughter.

He laughed like a child, so joyous, as if venting grievances.

I had never known that Bu Sha could, like ordinary people, laugh heartily, shout recklessly, even though his laughter carried bitterness and helplessness.

I scratched my head, awkwardly asking, "Is my question strange? But I just want to know this…"

Bu Sha gradually ceased laughing; a gentle, moved smile lingered at his lips as he said, "You truly are Shui Bingyi, because there's no one else in this world who would ask such a foolish question."

My heart inexplicably leapt with joy, happiness filling my entire being, and I grinned foolishly, "Did I guess right? Isn't it? Qi Ran doesn't believe, does he? Qi Ran, how could he possibly believe…?"

Bu Sha gently lifted his hand, pulling me into his embrace, holding me lightly.

His gentle awkwardness wasn't abrupt; his moved feeling was subtle yet crystal clear. I curled up in his arms, inhaling a brotherly scent, hearing his slightly cold voice murmur, "Fortunately, you're still alive."

"In front of everyone, I killed Qi's only sister. I constantly entered and left the secret icy domains, dealing daily with various employers; the secret truly leaked out. I led Qi and his subordinates into a trap, causing many deaths, including his royal brother. I told him with my own mouth: I betrayed you. In front of everyone."

…

I couldn't help but flinch slightly in Bu Sha's arms; his hand tightened, and he fell silent for a brief moment.

The firelight danced in the air, clearly warm, yet I felt my heart growing cold.

After months apart, they endured so much suffering and bore so many sins, did they?

Qi Ran… how bitter is your life now? It even makes my heart ache to the point of freezing.

Bu Sha exhaled softly, his voice still faintly cold.

"Qi grasped his sword, mercilessly cutting his subordinates down to the ground. He said, 'Anyone who dares to move against Bu Sha, I will make them die without a body.' Qi looked at me, sad and desperate; sheathed his sword, he said indifferently, 'Bu, if you must leave, then abandon me and go. But for me to believe you betrayed me, I must die!'"

……

My heart throbbed in waves, numb pain came in waves; I clenched Bu Sha's shirt over his chest, feeling his strong body tremble. Yet his voice stayed as cold as ever, devoid of emotion.

He said: "Sorry. I have no choice but to leave Qi Ran."

He said: "Now, I still cannot say."

When sunlight hit my face, the hot sting forced me to open my eyes; beside me was a steady heartbeat and a breath so faint it was almost inaudible. Last night I seemed to have fallen asleep unknowingly in Bu Sha's arms.

I stretched and sat up; Bu Sha's black eyes were deep and calm, indifferent—I couldn't tell if he hadn't slept all night or just woke up, gazing at me with a tranquil expression.

After washing up at the nearby riverbank, Xiao Yin leapt into my arms. I held Xiao Yin, looking at Bu Sha standing quietly before the cottage, gazing at me, and asked somewhat wistfully: "Are you leaving?"

Bu Sha nodded, saying: "I haven't completed the mission; I must return the Azure Dragon Stone."

He asked again: "Are you going back to the Imperial Palace?"

I nodded too: "Wu Ye and Xin Hui are still waiting for me in the palace."

The atmosphere was quiet and heavy; none of us spoke again, yet none of us left.

"Qi didn't know you were still alive." He suddenly said coldly, not blaming, not pitying, merely stating.

I knew Bu Sha was the sort of person in this world who least interferes and least understands meddling—especially in matters of love between men and women. Yet I…still forced him to speak.

I clenched my fists tightly, nails digging into my flesh, yet felt no pain.

"I… want to see him, my heart aches, I feel like going mad. But I cannot see him. To me, Qi Ran is unlike anyone else. His joys and angers, his pains, even his every move, will make me lose my normal judgment, will make me easily—sink into despair. Yet no matter how deep my love for Qi Ran, it cannot erase my longing for my family. That bond of over a decade of mutual reliance, inseparable affection—I cannot, nor can I ever, selfishly abandon them and stay here. If we are destined to part, why meet again, recognize each other again? If we do not meet, my heart truly has suffered; every minute and second is pain, only… the pain cannot exceed this once."

Tears slid slowly down my cheeks; mist filled my vision, I could not see Bu Sha's sorrowful, bitter expression, only gazing at him faintly and saying softly: "Better not to meet than to meet; what is affection compared to indifference?"

"This is, my fate with Qi Ran."

The wind brushed my face, drying the tears sunk deep in my eyes. I saw Bu Sha's gaze, cold and indifferent, scrutinizing my face; his thick black brows slowly furrowed.

His cold voice rang out: "So even if we meet again, you will not acknowledge each other?"

I slightly turned my head, suppressing an inexplicable urge to tremble in my voice, and said calmly: "No. Also please… do not tell him."

Bu Sha's eyes gradually accumulated deep worry, fear, and sorrow; I did not know what he was thinking, nor for whom he worried.

All I heard was him coldly saying: "In a month, I will come find you."

Then he turned and left without looking back, striding away.

(End of chapter)