Chapter 360: What I want to end is the pain, not my life

The third layer of the Dream Abyss.

The one hundred and seventy-fifth floor of the Seeking Sun Pagoda.

Chen Yan hung his head low, his body trembling unconsciously as he fought; behind him, his Divine Body of Will bloomed with auspicious light, growing increasingly high-spirited.

A radiance like molten gold at sunset bloomed upon the Divine Body, divine light flowing across it.

Within Chen Yan, both 【Heaven Patrol】 and 【Illusion Ripple Abyss Domain】 were being operated unconsciously.

Golden light, Xun Thunder, and Yin-Zhe intertwined; with every strike, space itself distorted, and the explosive overlap of force and Qi-blood made his combat power terrifying.

He was breaking through the limits of his own self, single-mindedly courting death in pursuit of immortality.

Yet, deep within his heart, a primal consciousness was screaming.

This scream came from the youth who had thrown punches inside the prison cell and told Chen Min on the icy ground that he dared not die.

At this moment, Chen Yan's consciousness seemed to be split in two: one was the will of the self, seeking true immortality.

The other was the primal consciousness of the flesh, unwilling to compromise.

A person's consciousness was splitting apart.

Chen Yan took a deep breath; throughout his body, countless particles were wailing deeply, a wave of searing pain washing over him.

Under the compulsion of his will, his primal self displayed immense combat power, unwilling to perish.

This was a confrontation between his will and the primal self of his flesh.

It was precisely under such arduous struggle that both his will and his flesh were rushing toward a path of absolute strength.

High in the distant sky, the old man watched in silence, then let out a low growl:

"Does he want to die or not?"

He was somewhat bewildered.

Chen Yan sought immortality and was single-mindedly walking toward death, so why was he fighting now?

Even the breathing techniques and Qi-blood arts he had never used before were now in operation.

Lu Xunyang took a deep breath:

"The Summer Lord may never have had such an experience."

A flicker of deep emotion shone in his eyes:

"A person's consciousness has actually always been twofold; this is a truth that has long been laid before the world."

The old man raised his eyebrows:

"Don't give me that, be direct!"

Lu Xunyang was not annoyed; he took a deep look at Chen Yan, who was still struggling, and said:

"These two consciousnesses have always had their own names."

Will and the primal self.

Or human nature and animal nature.

Or perhaps conscience and the thief within the heart.

When a person wants to cultivate or refine their body, their true self tells them that once they cultivate, they will be in immense pain; they could instead indulge in pleasure, eat the world's finest delicacies, or sink into lust.

The primal self is the most authentic and deeply hidden consciousness in a person's heart.

Whereas the will is that sliver of consciousness that suppresses the primal self to go and cultivate."

Lu Xunyang took a deep breath; in this world, he was perhaps the one who understood Chen Yan best.

"Every choice a person makes—indulgence or cultivation, sleeping soundly or staying up late, fighting or fearing—"

"is a collision between the primal self and the will."

"For most people, the primal self is the most powerful consciousness in the human heart."

The old man fell silent; his eyes were murky, and for a moment he could not speak, only grunting after a long while:

"You juniors, studying these things all day—no wonder each generation is worse than the last."

A brilliant white light bloomed from Lu Xunyang, and he said with a clang:

"If a person does not even understand themselves, how can they face the truth of the world?"

The old man snorted coldly, a trace of disdain still flashing in his eyes.

Lu Xunyang spoke again:

"Chen Yan's will is too powerful; his own primal self has always been suppressed and eroded by his will."

"But Chen Yan's primal self has always held one deepest consciousness, powerful beyond measure."

The old man's gaze flickered as he looked at Lu Xunyang:

"What do you mean?"

Lu Xunyang sighed softly:

"His primal self has long since shed laziness, fear, and lust."

"The only thing that remains is the consciousness that refuses to die; he was absolutely right—he does not want to die at all."

"When his will chose to pursue immortality through death, the consciousness of his primal self that refused to die became powerful to the extreme."

Lu Xunyang took a deep breath.

What Chen Yan was facing was perhaps something only he could feel.

The more he refused to die, the more intense and terrifying the consciousness of the primal self became, and the more violent the struggle between the primal self and the will grew.

At this moment, Chen Yan's only enemy had always been himself.

The old man's eyes narrowed; he stared fixedly at the youth still inside the pagoda and let out a low hum:

"Then I hope his will loses to his own primal self."

Lu Xunyang shook his head.

He is complex.

No one wishes for Chen Yan to die.

The youth's own ego-consciousness has a desire for life that is intense to the extreme.

Chen Yan is seeking the Dao, is searching, and is also struggling.

A struggle between the self and the self.

"This is a struggle of Law and Dao between the Lord of Will and a youth named Chen Yan."

Lu Xunyang speaks, his heart calm and peaceful at this moment, no longer hostile toward the old man.

A smile appears on his face, a very gratified smile:

"I once thought that the world would never again produce a person such as me."

He sighs with emotion:

"My Dao is not lonely."

His heart is shaken; if his true self could meet Chen Yan, they would absolutely be close friends.

He understands himself, and thus he understands Chen Yan.

He even feels that Chen Yan is more brilliant than himself.

This struggle between the ego and the will, in the eyes of others, might not be understood at all.

But in the eyes of Lu Xunyang, it is magnificent and vast.

Time passes slowly.

The one hundred and seventy-sixth floor.

Chen Yan's entire body radiates brilliance, his will pushing his physical body to the extreme.

Just as Lu Xunyang said, at this moment he has an intense desire not to die.

He does not wish to die, which is why the youth in the Heaven's Pride Trial Grounds could defeat Chen Min.

This has almost become the entire reliance for all his achievements in life.

That youth in the cold dungeon, facing a desperate situation and constantly throwing punches; that blade of grass swaying and growing on the vast earth.

They can reach this step only because they do not wish to die.

Living with all one's might.

Therefore, he is Chen Yan.

But he is also the Lord of Will.

He sees the immortal Dao essence, right at the moment of death, right at the intersection of life and withered silence.

To establish the Realm of Establishment, he must truly experience death.

This moment is the will forcing the ego.

The two collide and clash, like red-hot refined iron constantly fighting, sparks flying.

Behind Chen Yan.

That divine body of will is golden-red like a deity, towering and glorious, becoming increasingly bright.

The closer to death, the stronger the aura of immortality, and the stronger the Dao of Will.

Chen Yan's physical body struggles amidst wails, fighting and cultivating as if his life depended on it.

Within the Saint-Breaking Realm, blue limit-breaking energy constantly surges.

Interwoven with it is the orange light representing strength, the cyan light representing physical energy, the red light representing blood-Qi energy, and the golden light representing technique energy.

Driven by his ego-consciousness, Chen Yan constantly swallows Saint-Breaking Fruits.

One, two, three...

Every floor he clears, the more Dao-Severing Points he obtains.

Once the Dao-Severing Points accumulate to over seven hundred million, Chen Yan immediately exchanges them for precious medicines.

Morning Star-grade Grade A blood-Qi precious medicine or tempering precious medicine.

The blood-Qi divine body is constantly being forged.

The body that had originally only forged the right arm is now being irrigated by terrifying blood-Qi energy.

The wrist, forearm, and joints are being forged inch by inch.

Upon Chen Yan's physical body.

The number of Extreme Satin Patterns grows slowly, and finally, at the two hundred and twenty-fourth, Chen Yan's body begins to crack and stops growing.

The two hundred and twenty-four Extreme Satin Patterns turn into ink-color and pour into the Martial Dao Dharma Image Diagram behind Chen Yan.

Inlaying an ink-colored border onto the Cloud Dream Great City constructed for Chen Yan.

Xunyang Tower, the one hundred and eighty-seventh floor.

The massive Five Great Dharma Image Diagrams turn into streams of light and pour into Chen Yan's abdominal dantian.

Transforming into the Origin Space hidden within Chen Yan's dantian.

The brand-new Origin Space transforms into a small-scale Cloud Dream Great City.

The city walls are towering, and the buildings, arranged like scales, are like a frozen musical composition, with streets crisscrossing like veins.

Upon those towering, continuous green mountain ranges, there is no malice and no ancient beasts.

Bright and brand-new.

This is the Cloud Dream City constructed by Chen Yan.

Immediately following, countless black mists emerge upon the earth of the Origin Space, surging and gathering like tassels in the sky.

Transforming into a bronze giant shimmering with black flames.

His figure is majestic, as if he were a pillar supporting the sky.

Upon his bronze-colored skin, there were branded dense, eerie True Dragon patterns.

These True Dragon patterns were thick and dense, sunken into his physical body, as if they were individual Dao Fruit positions waiting to be condensed.

Chen Yan had no heart to count them, but the moment his Origin Divine Body of the Hard-Refining Path condensed, a number appeared deep within his mind.

Nine hundred and ninety-nine!

Immediately following, upon the Hard-Refining Divine Body, one hundred and fifty-seven True Dragon patterns gradually bloomed with light, the flames of light brilliant and dotted like stars, shedding a gorgeous radiance like clouds and rosy mist.

At this moment.

Under the clash between his will and his true self, Chen Yan's Hard-Refining Path ascended to the Origin realm.

The aura of the Origin flashed for only an instant, but it was still captured by the Old Man and Lu Xunyang simultaneously.

A smile appeared on Lu Xunyang's face:

"Nine hundred and ninety-nine, the limit of nine-nine; I thought it was only a legend."

He was exclaiming in wonder.

The Will Divine Body of the Hard-Refining Path possesses True Dragon phases.

Each True Dragon phase represents the power of one True Dragon.

The power of a True Dragon includes both physique and strength.

The number of True Dragon phases is related to the foundation a Hard-Refining martial artist laid during the Extreme Forging realm and the Unity realm.

Most Hard-Refining Divine Bodies at the Hard-Refining Origin realm have fewer than seventy-two True Dragon phases.

Like him, he is almost a true peerless genius of the Hard-Refining Path in this world, yet back then he only had five hundred and sixty-five.

But Chen Yan...

"Moreover, he just reached the Hard-Refining Origin, and the True Dragon phases lit up already total one hundred and fifty-seven."

"This shows that before Chen Yan reached the Origin, he himself had already attained one hundred and fifty-seven units of True Dragon power."

A strange light appeared in Lu Xunyang's eyes.

Every time a Hard-Refining martial artist reaches the Origin, the strength of their physical body is fairly evaluated by the Origin Divine Body.

Ordinary geniuses can only light up a few True Dragon phases initially, and by the time they reach the peak of the Origin realm, they have only lit up a few dozen.

This means that just as Chen Yan entered the Origin, his own base attributes were already stronger than the vast majority of those at the peak of the Origin.

"He has indeed changed your martial path," Lu Xunyang said.

To the side, the Old Man did not speak.

Although he is the Master of Hard-Refining, when he first created the Hard-Refining martial path, he had only condensed one hundred and forty-four True Dragon phases.

Chen Yan reached beyond the limits in both the Extreme Forging realm and the Unity realm.

This caused Chen Yan's Origin Divine Body to be different from the very beginning.

The Old Man just watched quietly as Chen Yan continued to clear levels within the Xunyang Tower.

Although he is a loner, he could actually slowly understand the problem Chen Yan was facing at this moment.

"A confrontation between will and true self?"

The Old Man murmured.

Inside the Xunyang Tower.

Chen Yan kept whispering.

"Immortality, will it truly arrive?"

"I do not know, but where the Dao lies, it is right ahead."

He kept clearing the tower, obtaining massive amounts of points.

Under the irrigation of these vast points, his physical body was moving toward destruction while simultaneously becoming even stronger.

His Will Divine Body was also becoming increasingly refined.

The consciousness of the true self, unwilling to die, was constantly being suppressed by his will, and would eventually lose all its strength.

He lowered his head.

The self conversing with the self.

It became increasingly blurred, the voice growing lower and lower.

Within his heart and mind, two people were debating the Dao.

…………

In the real world.

Sounds of exclamation rang out one after another.

"That one is definitely San Jin, and also, the one who started clearing the tower with San Jin is also very formidable."

"They've reached the one hundred and eighty-seventh floor; the speed was a bit slow before, but now it's fast again."

"Reaching this level, about how many Dao-Slashing Points can one obtain?"

"Around four billion, probably. The higher the Xunyang Tower, the more Dao-Slashing Points one obtains; legend has it there is also an absolute supreme treasure above the two-hundredth floor."

"Better to focus on comprehending the aura of immortality."

"It's getting more and more intense, but I haven't comprehended anything."

"Wuwuwu, the aura of immortality is too profound; it's simply not suitable for me."

…………

The crowd was incomparably shocked.

Just before, after San Jin entered the Xunyang Tower, two light orbs representing candidates ascended the floors at almost the same time.

Now one has already reached the one hundred and eighty-seventh floor, and the other has already reached the one hundred and eighty-fifth floor, always one step slower.

The crowd could guess that one of these two was San Jin, and the other was unknown.

These two people, ranked third and fourth respectively, had both surpassed Zhu Lili, who was still on the one hundred and seventy-first floor.

The first-ranked Yu Changsheng had already climbed to the two hundred and twenty-seventh floor.

The second-ranked Zhang Luobai had reached the two hundred and fifteenth floor.

As for the fifth place, it was Qiu Changji.

This person had originally wasted a great deal of time in the Dream Abyss, but having arrived now, he had already charged to the one hundred and sixty-fifth floor.

It was precisely at this moment.

In the sky, a bolt of purple lightning struck.

Shao Hengyang landed among the Military Guard examinees who were watching the battle.

"Have you found Chen Yan?"

Xu Di spoke, and at the same time, the other Military Guard examinees also looked over.

Shao Hengyang shook his head, looking somewhat helpless:

"Chen Yan may have already forfeited and left."

Xu Di and the others fell silent.

Chen Yan cultivated the 【Heaven Patrol】 and 【Heaven Patrol Ultimate Dao】, following the path of Lu Xunyang.

At this moment, the Xunyang Tower was overflowing with an aura of immortality, and for the vast majority of examinees, this aura of immortality was impossible to comprehend.

But it was different for Chen Yan.

Therefore, many Military examinees had gone to look for Chen Yan.

Unfortunately, they did not find him.

All around, the examinees from the Martial Suppression Division and the Aristocratic Family Alliance looked toward Shao Hengyang's side.

Some were disappointed, others were moved.

These people felt both gratitude and admiration for Chen Yan; what they thought in their hearts was actually similar to the Military.

But another portion revealed expressions of disdain and indifference.

They did not wish to see the Military rise.

The world was in turmoil, and the changing situation in Qinzhou lay between the Martial Suppression Division and the Aristocratic Family Alliance; the Military Guard was not very capable.

…………

Inside the one hundred and eighty-sixth floor of the Xunyang Tower, San Jin held a long staff, her entire body glowing with cyan light.

Beads of sweat were still oozing from her forehead, and bathed in the cyan light, she was like a fairy.

Only, the anxiety revealed between her brows was intensely strong.

She was somewhat dazed; at the very end, she had heard that sentence from Lu Xunyang: "Go north."

In the extreme north, there was only the Xunyang Tower.

It was just that, even now, she still could not find a single opportunity to save Chen Yan.

Thinking of this, the combat power erupting from San Jin's body became stronger, and her speed became faster.

Without the erosion of malice, her combat power was at the very top tier.

Floor after floor of the Xunyang Tower was passed by her, and massive amounts of Dao-Severing points appeared, but San Jin had no heart for cultivation.

It continued until the one hundred and eighty-ninth floor.

San Jin defeated the gatekeeper of this level and stepped onto the stairs.

All around, the permeating aura of immortality grew more and more dense, until it reached its peak in this place.

But San Jin did not care about this aura of immortality that others regarded as a treasure.

She had things she must do.

But in the very next moment.

Her footsteps paused instantly.

Just a moment ago, a very faint sensation had come.

Extremely faint, just like the feeling of a wisp of wind passing through her body.

Even for her, if she did not have previous experience, she would not have paid attention to this sensation.

Once, San Jin was located on the third floor of the Dream Abyss, and Chen Yan went to the second floor of the Dream Abyss to join forces with Xue Qi to kill the Fei Yi.

Right at that place, Chen Yan and she had collided in the light and dark worlds respectively.

At that time, it was just this kind of feeling.

Now, the worlds where the two were located had reversed, and once again, their bodies collided.

San Jin stood stunned on the spot, and immediately following, she felt an extremely faint wind coming from behind pass through her body, heading toward the higher floors.

Sweat flowed down from San Jin's forehead; her hair tips were crystal clear under the halo of the cyan light, and a few strands of cyan hair were stuck to her fair forehead by the sweat.

"Is... is it you?"

San Jin spoke in a daze, a pair of eyes revealing a look of hope.

At this moment, it was as if bolts of thunder were resounding in her brain.

So, that sentence from Lu Xunyang, "Go north," was not said to her, but to Chen Yan.

So, this aura of immortality that caused all the examinees to tremble was not overflowing from the Xunyang Tower.

Rather, it was overflowing from the third floor of the Dream Abyss, from that young man who had carried her across the ice river and dared to confront the Master of Tempering.

"Puchi..."

San Jin wept with joy, and bean-sized teardrops rolled down from the corners of her eyes.

Chen Yan, never giving up, never compromising.

Even if it was on the third floor of the Dream Abyss, he would still seize the final shred of opportunity.

"Chen... Chen Yan."

San Jin murmured, feeling the aura of immortality that enveloped her, dense to an incredible degree, her expression trembling.

It had always been Chen Yan.

Her eye sockets gradually filled with crystalline tears, like a clear lake rippling slightly.

She just followed this aura of immortality quietly, walking toward the one hundred and ninetieth floor.

But at the very next moment.

San Jin's eyes trembled; she sensed the surrounding aura of immortality fading.

San Jin's face turned deathly pale in an instant, and she suddenly became at a loss for what to do.

Within the gray world.

Chen Yan stood quietly on the floor; opposite him, the guardian of the one hundred and ninetieth floor slowly dissipated into a stream of light.

Massive Dao-Slashing Points poured into the Dao-Slashing Bamboo behind Chen Yan.

Chen Yan lowered his head and sat down cross-legged just like that.

Behind him, the Divine Body of Will grew increasingly brilliant.

His physical body's aura reached its lowest point.

"My physical body is enduring pain, yet it still refuses to give up the fight."

"My will is soaring and brilliant, yet it must head toward death."

He was covered in blood, his long hair matted with blood, sticking to his shoulders.

"My physical body is pleading, begging my will not to head toward death."

"Yet my will chooses to be the firewood in the endless eternal night."

He murmured.

In this desolate world.

He was whispering to himself.

A youth named Chen Yan, who walked out from Green Mountain with a staggering gait, was conversing with a Master of Will who sought to create a supreme future called Changing the Sun and Moon for a New Sky.

He lowered his head, his eyelids unable to lift any longer.

"What I wanted to end..."

He said indistinctly, the last glimmer of light in his eyes vanishing.

"Was the suffering of all living beings."

He stopped breathing, and a crimson heart gradually ceased its pulsations.

"Not my own life."