Chapter 168: A Visit Back Home

Lianzhou.

Nan Xueyin and Xiao Qingling abandoned the donkey cart and the coffin, strolling under the moonlight as they headed east.

"Sister Nan, have you considered it?" Xiao Qingling asked in a low voice, "About coming with me to Tingzhou."

"I will not go to Tingzhou," Nan Xueyin replied without a second thought, though her tone was very gentle.

Xiao Qingling was a bit unwilling, "But even if you return to Fengdu, it will be very difficult..."

Nan Xueyin gave a small smile: "I am not going to Fengdu right now."

Xiao Qingling was slightly stunned: "Then where are you going?"

"Qingzhou."

"Your hometown?"

Nan Xueyin gave a hum of affirmation.

"Why return to your hometown?" Xiao Qingling's gaze was dejected, "I have inquired about your affairs; I heard that your hometown suffered a disaster, and your parents and neighbors are no longer among the living."

"I still have an uncle."

Xiao Qingling was startled, "An uncle? Why have I never heard of this?"

"Because he cannot be considered a very close uncle. This uncle and my father shared the same father but different mothers. After my grandmother divorced my grandfather back then, she left the Nan Family and raised my father alone. Later, my grandfather remarried and had this uncle. My grandmother and grandfather were on quite bad terms initially, so the two families did not associate at first, and I only found out later that I had an uncle. I have never met my grandfather, but in my memory, I have seen that uncle."

"Is that so..." No wonder Xiao Qingling did not know about this.

"My uncle should also be a scholar; my grandfather's household had decent circumstances. Before my mother passed away, she told me that if I ever didn't know where to go, I could go find this uncle. My grandfather and grandmother had a poor relationship, but my uncle still had familial affection for us. He should take me in."

Xiao Qingling roughly understood her meaning, "Are you thinking of going to your uncle's house so that you will have an identity? If your uncle's family circumstances are decent, you might even be able to become the Crown Princess."

Nan Xueyin nodded, "That is so. In the past, I hadn't thought about this, because I wasn't actually that firm, or rather, I didn't believe how much Xiao Youlan loved me. But later I discovered that I like Xiao Youlan more than I imagined, and he likes me more than I imagined. I don't want it to always be him trying to draw close to me; I also want to give it a try, to make our future smoother."

Xiao Qingling was somewhat worried, "But have you thought that perhaps your uncle has long forgotten you, or perhaps he doesn't intend to take you in?"

Nan Xueyin laughed: "If that is the case, I will have to think of other methods. If it truly doesn't work, I will find a family of similar standing and forcibly take their daughter's identity; if they refuse, I will kill them. I have done such things before."

Xiao Qingling also curled the corners of his mouth, "That is very wicked."

Neither of them spoke again.

Not knowing how much longer they had walked, Xiao Qingling had a sudden inspiration and said: "Shall I go to Qingzhou with you?"

Nan Xueyin turned her head in confusion: "Why?"

"If you go to Qingzhou alone, I am afraid you will be bullied."

Nan Xueyin was even more confused: "Are you sure? Me being bullied?"

Was she not that kind of assassin who made people tremble with fear? The number of people in this world who could bully her could be counted on one hand.

Xiao Qingling realized this point belatedly, but his expression remained firm: "I truly want to go to Qingzhou with you."

Nan Xueyin asked: "Then what about Tingzhou?"

"I have already had someone disguise themselves as me to return."

"That is not you after all; if any problems arise, it will be very difficult for you to explain clearly."

"I don't care about those things," Xiao Qingling said persistently, "I actually didn't want to be a Prince that much; life in Tingzhou wasn't that pleasant. Everything I did was just to be able to find you."

Nan Xueyin sighed very lightly: "Do you know, during the years I liked Xiao Mingyu, I gradually understood a very important principle."

"What is it?"

"In this world, there is not only romance. If you meet someone with whom you share mutual affection, and lovers eventually become spouses, that is naturally very good. But if not, you need not be overly obsessed with it. Liking someone is sometimes very happy, and sometimes very bitter. But more importantly, you should live well and take good care of yourself. Perhaps you will have a very good friend who is righteous, loyal, and willing to sacrifice their life for you. Or perhaps you will discover something you really like doing, and when you are immersed in it, you will be so happy that you forget the passage of time. You might not understand why you were born, why you had to grow up, or why you had to experience these things that aren't exactly happy. But there are always those one or two moments where you feel fortunate: it's good that I survived, it's good that I am standing here."

These were words spoken from the bottom of Nan Xueyin's heart.

It was like a gentle breeze, slowly blowing across the vast wilderness.

The mist dispersed, and the dawn light leaked down from the horizon.

Xiao Qingling did not speak for a long, long time.

The two walked on foot, and when the sky was slightly bright, they arrived at a post station.

Xiao Qingling looked at Nan Xueyin: "Then I have made my decision."

"Hm?"

"I am returning to Tingzhou."

Nan Xueyin nodded.

Xiao Qingling looked at her: "I always feel that after meeting you, I might never like anyone else in this lifetime, but you seem to like my brother very much; compared to forcibly possessing you, I think making you happy is more important. I will return to Tingzhou, make good friends, and find things I like to do. However."

He took a step forward, his face full of sincerity: "No matter when, if you need me, you can come find me at any time."

Nan Xueyin nodded with a smile.

She looked at Xiao Qingling, took the initiative to step forward, and gave him a light hug.

She said: "Be happy, little monk."

Only after watching Xiao Qingling's back disappear did Nan Xueyin turn back to the post station.

She picked a fine jujube-red horse, changed her clothes, and prepared dry rations.

She had no silver on her, so she used the pearls she had stolen from Xiao Mingyu's treasury to exchange for them.

News from Lianzhou City had not yet spread, and the post station attendant, seeing that the pearls were plump and round, accepted them without much hesitation.

Once Nan Xueyin had everything prepared, she went toward Qingzhou alone at a leisurely pace.

She did not know how she should find that uncle of hers; although she roughly remembered his appearance, after so much time had passed, she did not know what he was doing now, where he lived, and even less whether his appearance had changed.

Therefore, before looking for him, she went home for a visit.

This was the first time she had summoned the courage to return; in the past, she had passed by Qingzhou many times, but she had never once returned to this small village.

She always felt that it was Xiao Youlan who had given her gentle and firm strength.

The village from back then had originally fallen into ruin, but now a new small town had risen; the men, women, old, and young coming and going all looked like strangers, yet they also made one feel a sense of familiarity.

The people who had lived on this land for generations actually all possessed the same simple and kind faces.

Nan Xueyin headed toward the small courtyard where she had lived as a child.

Along the way, she saw young children playing the various little games she had loved to play when she was small; back then, she had been the leader of the children, and all of them would trot behind her, calling out "Sister Nan."

Now, these children had their own leader, and they all followed behind him, calling out "Brother."

People and things seemed to have changed, yet also seemed not to have.

What surprised Nan Xueyin was that she had assumed the courtyard would surely be gone; she had not expected that the little courtyard would be completely intact, even looking quite new, as if it had been renovated recently.

It was almost exactly the same as the courtyard in her memories.

Nan Xueyin stood at the courtyard gate, holding her horse, struggling hard to control the sob in her throat.

"Young lady, who are you looking for?"

A gentle question suddenly came from beside her, spoken in the village dialect.

Nan Xueyin had not heard it for a long time, and to her surprise, she actually understood it.

She forced her tears back, turned her head, and looked at the elderly woman beside her.

She shook her head and tried hard to speak in the dialect: "I'm not looking for anyone, I took the wrong path."

The elderly woman looked at her face for a moment, then suddenly asked: "Is your surname Nan?"