Chapter 630: Pity

Her voice was soft; Han Youzhen looked at Li Enzhu, who had her back turned, and her expression froze.

She hadn't expected the other to speak so bluntly.

After hesitating a moment, she took a deep breath, her gaze earnest:

"We should rely on ourselves."

"Relying on others is unreliable."

"Do you know him?"

"Do you know who he is?"

"Have you forgotten what happened to those girls at school?"

Clenching her fists, watching the companions who had come along the way, she truly did not want them to make a wrong decision.

"Believe me."

"We can survive by relying on ourselves; I will protect everyone!"

"Just as we have always done, we will surely be able to survive!"

In silence.

The girl beside her cautiously moved a few steps, unable to resist also wanting to follow Han Youzhen in persuading the companions.

"Enzhu, what Youzhen said isn't really a problem..."

"Maybe we should rely on oursel..."

"Enough!!"

Li Enzhu suddenly turned around, her eyes fixed on Han Youzhen, her whole body trembling.

She lifted her head, her eye sockets somewhat red.

"Rely on ourselves!?"

"How can we rely on ourselves!?"

"Like the day before yesterday?"

"To bring back a piece of bread, a companion died!?"

"Or for a bottle of water, we nearly lost our lives!?"

"Who exactly is not clear-headed? Who exactly lacks reason!?"

"Han Youzhen, do you really think you can protect everyone!?"

"Of the twenty people who escaped from the academy, how many are left!? Tell me!"

As she spoke, she trembled, wiping the excited tears from her eye sockets with the back of her hand, her voice taking on a sobbing tone.

Among the dead companions was her best friend.

Without regard for the stunned Han Youzhen, she continued to lift her head and stare straight at her:

"Oneself?"

"Where is there a self?"

"You think I haven't considered what might happen?"

"No, I've thought it through very clearly!"

"Besides acting high and mighty, giving pitying lectures, what else can you do?"

"Have you ever thought about it? You can righteously say 'rely on ourselves' only because you are an Awakened One!"

"What about me?"

"I'm just an ordinary person! I don't want to be eaten by zombies! I've had enough of these days where I'm afraid every day!"

Her smile was bleak.

After a pause, Li Enzhu's slightly trembling fingers brushed the disheveled strands from her agitation to one side.

She did not hide the hatred in her eyes.

"Han Youzhen, I'm telling you."

"I have actually always disliked you."

"Of course, you could also think I'm jealous of you."

"You're good-looking, your family background is better than mine, and your grades are good."

"How perfect—everyone likes you."

"Before the apocalypse, your life went smoothly; at any time there was someone to shelter you from wind and rain."

"Even after the apocalypse, you became an Awakened One, stronger than many boys."

"But."

"What about me!?"

Like venting her emotions, Li Enzhu gave a cold laugh.

Her voice seemed squeezed from her throat, each word filled with resentment.

"I."

"To scrape together the tuition for Fushan Daxue, before the apocalypse I worked three part-time jobs every day, hanging around those old men."

"By day I attended classes and studied; by night I went to a part-time job, and when I got home I still had to take care of my mother."

"While working."

"I not only had to earn money from those old men's pockets, but also had to protect myself."

"Otherwise, if I was defiled, I wouldn't be worth anything."

"I have to sell myself, and I have to sell myself at a good price!"

"You're a rich young lady, so of course you find this shameful."

Because you've never experienced any of this!!

I need money! I live in Guanchuan, the poorest part of Fushan! My mother raised me alone, my father is an alcoholic! I want to escape that damned environment, I want to get out of there!

Her chest heaved, Li Enzhu gasped with agitated emotion.

A hint of gloom flashed in her eyes, and she continued speaking to herself.

After the apocalypse, I'm afraid every day.

I'm afraid of what to do if you die.

I'm afraid that every day when I wake up, ugly zombies are gnawing at my body.

You said to rely on yourself.

But aren't we relying on you?

And can you be relied upon?

Often it's not just good luck; aren't you also unable to protect yourself?

The corner of her mouth bore a mocking expression.

Li Enzhu ignored the captain's stunned expression, turned around directly, and tried to tidy up her appearance.

He's strong, really strong.

I've thought about it for a long time, I also have dignity.

Do you think I won't feel bad after shamelessly throwing myself at you?

No, I can only do that.

What's face? What's dignity? Can it let me survive?

Looking at herself in the mirror, Li Enzhu muttered to herself.

My body is my only capital...

After fixing her somewhat disheveled hair ends, Li Enzhu somewhat dazedly reapplied her makeup, covering the tear stains at the corners of her eyes.

She forced herself to squeeze out a smile.

She didn't want Lin An to notice anything when she saw him later.

After bending over to put on her exquisite high heels, Li Enzhu carefully sprayed a little perfume on herself.

Her curves were perfect; with well-matched clothing, her figure's advantages were displayed to the fullest.

She glanced back at the at-a-loss Han Youzhen, who stood frozen in place.

At this moment, Li Enzhu seemed to have regained her composure.

She obsessively gazed at the crystal chandelier above, her fingertips brushing over the dressing table still wet with water.

Do you see it...

Han Youzhen.

Look where we are, look at everything around you.

This...

This is the life I want.

As long as he shows a little, a tiny bit of insignificant pity toward me.

Then I still have hope...

Having said that, she turned and left the room.

Before leaving, Li Enzhu gave her a complex look, silently uttering a sentence.

Click

The door opened, then closed.

Clear footsteps echoed, reverberating and gradually fading away down the long hallway.

Inside the room, Han Youzhen lifted her head, lost and dazed, a flicker of confusion flashing in her eyes.

She subconsciously turned her head to look at the spiritual equipment on the table.

White Equipment, Spiritual Equipment Submachine Gun.

She had originally planned to go find Lin An later and return the weapon to him.

Although, he had no intention of taking it back.

Although, she had hesitated at that moment.

In his eyes, the equipment was utterly unimportant, like trash.

To her, it was precious equipment hard to obtain even at the cost of her life.

This is just a little bit...

Pity?

A bitter smile rose in her heart.

Li Enzhu's unspoken words before leaving echoed in her mind like a swaying bell.

I already...

There's nothing left for me to lose....