Chapter 18: Grace is Resentment, Right is Wrong

A boundless road, a green-curtained carriage. The carriage was not very eye-catching, except for being slightly spacious, it looked no different from an ordinary carriage. The horse pulling the carriage was a Li horse, and the young man driving the horse had no smile on his face. A long sword was at his waist, thin and sharp. Beside him sat a woman in green clothes, the light wind blowing her hair, but it couldn't blow away the gentle smile at the corner of the woman's lips.

For several days in a row, this carriage traveled by day and rested by night. Every time it arrived at a place, every time it passed a city, everything had been arranged in advance. The inn might not be the best, but it must be the most comfortable and quiet; the food might not be the most expensive, but it must be light and delicious. The people in the carriage stayed in each place for at most one night, and that night was bound to be the quietest night there. Although the people who did these things might not even see the appearance of the people in the carriage, everyone was respectful and careful, never allowing a single mistake.

Although it was early spring, the willows were green and the orioles were singing along the road, and the flowers were blooming and warming, but there was still a purple copper fire basin in the carriage, and the snow-white silver charcoal was turning to ash inch by inch. Across the faint fragrance of wood branches, the man in green clothes and white fur on the opposite side was leaning on a soft cushion to close his eyes and rest. Qie Lan sat opposite, her gaze falling on that person again.

A calm look did not mean that there were no waves in her heart. After observing carefully for several days, she found that his spirit seemed not very good, or rather, he was unwilling to waste any energy at all. Except for occasionally flipping through books, he was just leaning quietly like this to rest.

And in fact, he was unwilling to spend too much effort even reading books. When the silk books passed through his fingers, he just paused slightly, almost sweeping through them. Every time he finished reading a scroll, he threw it into the fire basin and continued to rest quietly. Along the way, this fire basin swallowed the "Wuya Sword Manual" of the East Sea Sect, the "Prajna Contemplation Heart Sutra" of the Qingtai Mountain, the "Heavenly Remnant Extinction Palm" of the Jieyu Gate, the "Thousand-Character Heart-Piercing Sword" of the Helian Martial Arts Hall... Every one of these heart methods was a secret not passed on by various sects, and every kind of martial arts was enough to make people famous in the world of martial arts, but he discarded them like worn-out shoes and destroyed them with disdain, as if reading them was already giving them enough face.

He coughed incessantly from time to time. She didn't know if it was because of the injury some time ago. He had to drink medicine every day. The medicine smelled extremely bitter. She identified the taste of gentian, but he didn't even frown, as if he had long been accustomed to it.

He always received news from all sides every day, as if he was thinking about things at any time. However, she never saw him have a worried expression. The most familiar thing was the smile that never disappeared from his lips.

He trusted Mo Heng and Li Si very much, and often showed faint pleasure in his eyes when talking to them, but she could feel the alienation in that smile. It was a coldness that existed in everything and yet had nothing to do with everything, an indifference of being in the game but being outside of it, as if no one could truly approach him, and no one knew what he was thinking in his heart...

The last bit of residual silk in the red charcoal turned to ash. Smoke and mist passed through Qie Lan's eyes, revealing an extremely complex expression. In the past few days, she had been in the Imperial Palace, and several imperial edicts had been issued in succession. Not only did he order the pardon of all members of the Jiu Yi tribe and the return of the Jiu Yi country's homeland, but he also issued an edict of self-reproach and buried the Queen of the Jiu Yi tribe with thick rites. After she was captured, the Jiu Yi tribe's army attacking the imperial capital actually retreated unscathed, without losing a single soldier or horse. The sword she stabbed him with that day was originally a capital crime of regicide, but except for Li Si, no one else knew.

At this moment, the Fuxuan Sword was within reach, along with the Yanfeng Bow and Huangyu Arrow, which he had returned to her. Knowing that she harbored hatred, he was completely undefended against her, as gentle as before. Every move he made made her confused and even vigilant. Qie Lan looked at the strange man in front of her, wanting to find some answer hidden in him.

He seemed to have fallen asleep in front of her, his brows furrowed slightly, making a rare, clear weakness appear on his indifferent face. When he turned over, the white fur on his shoulder slipped off unexpectedly. Seeing it was about to fall into the charcoal fire in front of him, Qie Lan was stunned, subconsciously caught the fur coat, and stood up, only to see him press his right hand on his left shoulder, obviously because turning over touched the sword wound from that day.

Qie Lan hesitated for a moment, raised her hand to put the fur coat back beside Zi Hao. Unexpectedly, just as she approached, Zi Hao suddenly opened his eyes, and a cold, sharp gaze appeared, piercing the soul directly. Seeing it was Qie Lan, he was slightly startled, waves rippled in his pupils, but he instantly returned to deepness.

The moment she met his gaze, Qie Lan felt amazing killing intent covering her body. She clearly had several body techniques to retreat, but she couldn't move at all, because any slight movement might lead to a fatal strike.

Was he asleep, or was he awake all along?

Eye to eye, a strange feeling melted in the air. He had a thoughtful smile on his tired face, and she had a half-bright, half-dark exploration in her surprised eyes. He watched with a smile, but kept not speaking, as if he must wait for her to speak first. Qie Lan found that his patience was simply extraordinary, and finally couldn't beat him. "I want to ask you one thing."

He nodded slightly. "You ask."

Qie Lan looked at him without blinking. "I want to know, were the orders to kill my mother and attack the Jiu Yi tribe yours?"

His brows didn't move, and he said indifferently, "It was me."

Qie Lan said, "Were you forced to issue the edict?"

He closed his eyes and smiled, coughing low. "No, I was willing."

Qie Lan's pupils tightened, her gaze piercing the bottom of his eyes, but she only saw endless quiet coldness. His voice was also indifferent and clear. "When meeting strength, do not fight; do not break when facing strength."

Qie Lan was stunned when she heard this. She was a person with a clear mind. Although she didn't know the truth before, after observing carefully for the past few days and thinking about it carefully, she vaguely understood something—

When the Phoenix Empress selected and established the Eastern Emperor back then, the two palaces appeared harmonious and at peace, but in reality, the Empress Dowager was presiding over the court and usurping power, while the Young Emperor was controlled by others. Each side harbored poisonous schemes and deep-seated calculations, hidden beneath honor and glory, concealed within filial piety; the truth beneath it all remained unknown to others.

The disaster of the Witch Clan, the disaster of the Jiu Yi, the tyrannical decrees, the labor and conscription—the Eastern Emperor wanted to hide it from the Phoenix Empress, so he must first hide it from the people of the world. When meeting strength, do not fight; do not break when facing strength... Qie Lan recited these words several times in her heart, was silent for a long time, and then raised her eyes again. "From beginning to end, I have wronged you, right?"

"Oh?" Zi Hao raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. A complex emotion flashed in her eyes. Under his calm gaze, she didn't avoid his gaze either. "The order to kill my mother was yours, the edict to exterminate my relatives was yours, you trapped me in the royal city, set up layers of mechanisms, I originally thought you wanted to kill them all, leaving the Jiu Yi tribe with no way out." She paused. "But now I know, things are not as simple as they appear on the surface, and that sword strike was not something you should have taken."

The last warmth of the furnace fire rose, reflecting in Zi Hao's smiling eyes. "Since I let you stab me with that sword, you don't have to feel sorry for this. If I didn't want to, you wouldn't have had the chance to hurt me."

Qie Lan said, "This is exactly the second thing I want to ask, why?"

Zi Hao said, "The royal family owes the Jiu Yi tribe; this is a fact that cannot be erased."

Qie Lan didn't understand. "But that sword strike could have taken your life."

Zi Hao smiled nonchalantly. "There have always been many people who want my life."

Qie Lan furrowed her brows slightly. "Since the Phoenix Empress is not your biological mother, why do you have to bear everything for her, including that edict of self-reproach? In fact, the sin is not yours, why do you have to be like this?"

Zi Hao hooked his lips, the smile looking like a trace of faint mockery. "You are wrong. She is the previous Emperor's Empress and the current Empress Dowager; this is a fact that no one can change. The reason she entered the palace as Empress was chosen by my royal family, and the reason she held great power was because my royal family gave her the opportunity. The previous Emperor's will was not as good as hers, his strategy was not as good as hers, his knowledge of people was not as good as hers, and even his ability to mobilize troops was not as good as hers. He was imprisoned to death. It is not her fault for being ruthless, but the previous Emperor's cowardice and incompetence. This is my royal family's fault, and it should be borne by my royal family. Since I am the master of the royal family, I could not stop what she did, which led to the slaughter of the people and the sorrow of the common people. This is my fault, and I will not shirk it. It is only natural for you to hate me. Moreover..." His deep eyes lifted, that clear and cold light. "She is both my enemy and my Empress Mother. She forced me and harmed me, making me endure pain that ordinary people cannot endure. I kill her and hate her, which is to avenge her. But she raised me and taught me, letting me learn things that ordinary people cannot learn. I bury her thickly and bear her sins, which is to repay her feelings. I do not owe her half a point, and she, don't even think about owing me anything."

This remark was like a sharp sword in a box, deeply hidden in the scabbard, but it was imposing.

Qie Lan first felt inexplicable astonishment, but in the end, her beautiful eyes lowered and then raised again, showing a smile. "Indeed, grievances are cleared, how crisp. You are the master of the royal family. No matter why, you once ordered the extermination of my Jiu Yi. I stabbed you with a sword, which is to avenge you and the royal family. You took a sword from me, which is to repay the hatred of the Jiu Yi tribe. From now on, we owe each other nothing. But you helped me kill the real enemy, and you have let me and my tribe go several times. The grace that the Jiu Yi tribe owes you will surely be repaid in the future."

Zi Hao's handsome eyes swept toward her, and Qie Lan also turned her head to look. Eye to eye, both suddenly smiled. Qie Lan seemed much more relaxed, exhaling lightly. Zi Hao lowered his eyes slightly, a trace of clear and sharp luster slowly settling into the endless deep bottom.

"In the future, if you see me asleep, don't approach me easily, or you might accidentally hurt yourself." After a while, he suddenly said to Qie Lan in a flat voice, looking slightly tired, leaning deeply against the soft cushion, raising his hand to rub his forehead. The habit he had developed unknowingly for twenty years could not be changed after all! Even if his body relaxed, his heart and spirit would always maintain an impeccable vigilance. He never allowed anyone to approach him easily, not even those close to him like Li Si and Mo Heng. One hundred percent unreserved trust could only be the beginning of a mistake.

Qie Lan was stunned when she heard this, and just as she was about to ask why, the carriage curtain moved, and a small white shadow flashed in, darting into Zi Hao's arms. Zi Hao opened his eyes and lifted the small beast. Qie Lan looked carefully and saw that the small beast had a snow-white fox tail, looking like a cat or a sable, with a pair of golden pupils flashing with exotic light. It actually looked like the Cloud-Born Beast from the Jingyun Holy Domain, which fed on poisonous things and was born with spirituality.

"Its name is Xue Zhan." Zi Hao said, while taking a small scroll of silk from Xue Zhan's neck, letting go of his hand, and Xue Zhan arched its back and darted onto the low table in front. Qie Lan found it cute and reached out to tease it. Zi Hao caught a glimpse and said, "Be careful, it hurts people!" Unexpectedly, Xue Zhan only sniffed Qie Lan and didn't do anything to her.

Zi Hao was quite surprised. This Cloud-Born Beast was still in its infancy, its wild nature had not been collected, and he and Zi Rao raised it carefully, using it to communicate with each other, and also specifically trained it to guard against strangers. Unexpectedly, it was willing to let Qie Lan approach. But although Xue Zhan had no great hostility, it did not allow Qie Lan to touch it. Qie Lan was a few years younger than Zi Hao, after all, a young girl's heart, sizing up this exotic beast, showing a curious look on her face.

Zi Hao smiled, knocked on the table to call Xue Zhan over, and reached out his hand to it. Xue Zhan jumped into his palm, its small body almost curled up in it, and then opened its mouth to bite his finger. Qie Lan gave an "Ah," thinking that this exotic beast contained deadly poison, how could ordinary people bear it? But she saw Zi Hao as if nothing had happened, and instead, Xue Zhan seemed unable to bear it, let go quickly after drinking his blood, and lay there with its pupils narrowed, looking listless.

Zi Hao lowered his head to browse the secret letter in his hand, furrowed his brows, smiled, and finally sighed, picked up a pen and wrote several lines, put it back into Xue Zhan's neck, and flicked its forehead with a smile. Xue Zhan stretched, rubbed against Zi Hao's side reluctantly, jumped out of the carriage, and disappeared in an instant.

(End of Chapter) ===== CHAPTER 19 =====