Chapter 781: A Mind in Turmoil

Early the next morning, after Ji Xiang got up, he first ran a half-marathon in the hotel gym.

After returning to his room to wash up and heading out, Ji Xiang saw Zhao Zhe waiting outside his door.

"Brother Zhao, why didn't you come in and sit? Standing outside... there's no need to be so polite," Ji Xiang asked.

"I got up early for a stroll and saw you running by yourself in the gym," Zhao Zhe said with quite a bit of emotion. "Even if I went back to being 20, I wouldn't have such good stamina. Xiao Ji, your body is top-notch. But tell me, are gyms open 24 hours a day? What if they aren't?"

"5-star hotels are all open 24 hours. If they weren't, I could file a complaint. Besides, I asked before booking the hotel," Ji Xiang replied.

"Your body is truly great. You always say your Sha Paozi is exhausted from being walked by you every day; I didn't believe it before, but now I truly do."

"No wonder you don't feel tired after performing so many surgeries every day, and when you encounter Doctor Meng on duty, you can still stay up all night following along in the Emergency Department. No wonder, no wonder," Zhao Zhe rambled on with emotion.

"It's alright. You saw the patient Li Muzhi yesterday, right?" Ji Xiang asked.

After getting off the plane yesterday, Deng Chaohong and Zhao Zhe went to see the patient, while Ji Xiang, out of curiosity, followed Lin Jiuze to find the old man of the Lin family.

He hadn't expected that what the old man of the Lin family brought to Ji Xiang wasn't gossip, but a magical experience.

After experiencing that, when Ji Xiang looked back at current medical practices, he immediately felt they were dull and uninteresting.

"I went. The patient's condition isn't very good."

"Oh? Worried about his own recovery?" Ji Xiang asked.

The patient is 29, in his prime, and his issue is an Achilles Tendon Repair, which won't affect his vital signs.

What Zhao Zhe meant by "not good" was most likely the patient's psychological state.

"Yeah," Zhao Zhe nodded. "It's like... I once had a colleague, a graduate from a top university. After graduation, he had already been accepted into a postgraduate program, but his family was poor and he was anxious to earn money to support them, so he returned to Yuanliao City to work."

"His surgical skills were top-tier. A simple Appendectomy, at a glance, was already several grades higher than others. The surgery was performed with such precision that the patient recovered faster than anyone else's patients."

It was indeed very strong, especially since those simple, minor surgeries are where one's foundation is most visible.

Ji Xiang nodded, indicating he understood.

As they spoke, the two arrived at the hotel restaurant to eat breakfast.

"But later, an incident occurred. A Family Member of a patient came in with a knife. The patient wasn't even his, but because the doctor was sitting near the door, the Family Member went straight for him."

"As a result, many tendons in his right hand were severed, and the functional recovery wasn't good. After he recovered a bit, he didn't dare to perform surgery himself, so he came to find me. I knew what he was thinking, so we performed a surgery together."

"While we were downstairs, it was just a functional impairment, but once we were in the operating room, his hand shook uncontrollably, and he couldn't even hold the scalpel steady."

Ji Xiang listened to Zhao Zhe rambling and let out a sigh.

There have been many similar cases; the common point is that once it happens, the doctor's career is over.

At the very least, a Surgeon's career can be declared finished.

From a certain perspective, Surgeons and athletes have similar points.

Especially the doctor Zhao Zhe mentioned, whose hand shook once he got into the operating room; he was likely trying to recover his former standard but couldn't reach it, and the accumulation of negative feedback led to tension and the secretion of large amounts of hormones.

There was no helping that.

"The patient is named Li Muzhi, 29 years old, looking like a spirited young man, it's just that his complexion is very poor," Zhao Zhe continued to nag. "After seeing Professor Deng, he repeatedly rambled about whether he could participate in this year's National Games and the Athletics Diamond League, constantly asking if it could be 100% guaranteed."

"It was like he couldn't understand what was being said. Xiao Ji, you tell me, how could we as doctors ever say something is 100%?"

"Indeed," Ji Xiang sighed.

He had experienced the world of Empathy with a soccer player and understood their day-after-day, year-after-year training just for the dream in their hearts.

But humans are truly too fragile; one moment of negligence can lead to irreversible damage to the body.

Zhao Zhe kept rambling about Li Muzhi's nervousness and anxiety when he saw him yesterday; even eating couldn't stop his mouth.

After a while, Deng Chaohong arrived.

He had gotten up relatively late, and Tang Yan was likely still sleeping in and wouldn't get up until the last minute; they hurriedly washed up, ate, and went to the hospital to perform surgery together.

"Professor Deng, how is the patient?" Ji Xiang asked politely.

"It's alright. Looking at the scans, the injury to the Achilles Tendon is lighter than Neymar's, and I believe the surgery will be no problem," Deng Chaohong gave a definitive answer.

The scans had already been reviewed via remote consultation while at the Second Affiliated Hospital, so Ji Xiang had an idea and didn't ask any further questions.

When the time came, Li Muzhi's Coach came to pick up the medical team.

Li Muzhi's Coach was surnamed Zhai, a tall, sturdy middle-aged man who had developed a belly.

It was easy to see that Coach Zhai must have been as strong as an ox when he was young.

"Professor Deng, I'll have to trouble you in a moment," Coach Zhai said, shaking Deng Chaohong's hand, his waist slightly bent, repeating himself constantly.

Coach Zhai finished his polite remark and wanted to pull his hand away, but Coach Zhai had a very strong grip and held onto Deng Chaohong's hand tightly without letting go.

Deng Chaohong shook his hand, but his strength was no match for Coach Zhai's, and he couldn't break free at all.

"Professor Deng, whether Xiao Li's years of hard work can bear fruit depends on your surgery. This child has truly had it hard; I've been with him since he was small, watching him grow up bit by bit."

"Xiao Li has talent, but when he was young, his mindset was unstable. Every time a major competition arrived, he would lose his composure and perform far below his standard. Back then, after every competition, I would give him a good beating. Thinking back now..."

Coach Zhai held Deng Chaohong's hand, rambling illogically, even more so than Zhao Zhe.

Ji Xiang could even perceive that Coach Zhai was nervous to the extreme; the hand he was using to hold Deng Chaohong's was trembling slightly.

And what he was saying now was more like talking to himself in a state of nervousness, not noticing Deng Chaohong's increasingly ugly expression at all.

"Coach Zhai, please rest assured, we will do our best," Deng Chaohong said helplessly, having to pat the back of Coach Zhai's hand to show comfort.

"The child has already worked so hard. Who would have thought that just as he was about to achieve results, it would end up like this?" As Coach Zhai spoke, tears began to stream down his face.

He was far more nervous and anxious than the average Family Member.

"Coach Zhai..."

"Professor Deng, I beg you, whether Xiao Li can recover to normal depends on you," Coach Zhai said the same words again.

Whether it was Deng Chaohong, Zhao Zhe, or Ji Xiang, they all understood.

Many times before surgery, Family Members would also hold the doctor's hand like this, stating the same request.

It was just that Coach Zhai was in such good physical shape that Deng Chaohong's hand was being squeezed painfully.

"Coach Zhai, if you keep squeezing, my bones will break, and I'm afraid today's surgery won't be able to be performed," Deng Chaohong said helplessly to Coach Zhai.

Coach Zhai froze for a moment, let go, and wiped his face with his sleeve, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Coach Zhai, you're too nervous," Deng Chaohong soothed. "We will do our best for the surgery. Rest assured, we will definitely give it our all."

"I am indeed too nervous. I lost my composure; please don't mind."

The back of Deng Chaohong's hand was pinched red. He sighed, rubbing his right hand continuously with his left to ease the pain a little.

Ji Xiang, Zhao Zhe, and Tang Yan sat in one car, while Coach Zhai took another car with Deng Chaohong.

"Quite nervous," Zhao Zhe said with a smile after getting into the car.

"No choice. Years of hard work, and hope is lost just because of one injury. Who could be reconciled to that?" Recalling the various things he encountered during Empathy and the psychological pressure at the time, Ji Xiang sighed deeply.

When he saw Coach Zhai, he seemed to see "himself," facing a sliding tackle from a teammate behind, falling to the ground injured.

At that moment, it felt as if the sky had collapsed.

During the time he was injured, Ji Xiang's mindset changed countless times; he was no longer strong, no longer unhesitating, anxious every day, and couldn't even get a good night's sleep.

Ji Xiang even clearly remembered that his "self" in his 20s had a patch of hair turn white before the surgery.

It was as if countless snowflakes had fallen.

The anxiety and bewilderment in his heart were beyond words.

Therefore, he understood Coach Zhai's loss of composure very well; even as a senior Attending Physician, Zhao Zhe could not feel that Empathy.

Arriving at the hospital, several people stood at the entrance.

Seeing Deng Chaohong get out of the car, two people who looked to be the Patient's parents grabbed Deng Chaohong and wept as they poured out their grievances.

*Sigh*, although Ji Xiang could hear what they were saying, he didn't prick up his ears to listen.

Ji Xiang also understood the mindset of the Family Member; at this moment, their nervousness had reached the Extreme Point.

When he saw the Patient's mother's legs go weak, as if she were about to kneel to Deng Chaohong, and the moment Deng Chaohong was startled and hurriedly dodged away, Ji Xiang felt an immense bitterness in his heart.

It was just like his own parents; although they seemed indifferent to his development, they knew about Wembanyama coming for surgery even earlier than he did, and they even found an actuary.

In the world of Empathy, Ji Xiang had experienced a lot. Although he was long since accustomed to it, at this moment, there was something unusual in his heart.

Ji Xiang tried his best not to look at the pleas of the Family Member. Every time he looked, Ji Xiang felt a bit of pain, his heart in turmoil.

The surgery must be done well.

Although Ji Xiang put his heart and soul into every surgery, the nervousness of the Family Member and the coach still infected him, stirring up the memories accumulated during his Empathy.

Finally, the Family Member was persuaded to leave by the director of the local hospital, and the group went to the ward to take a look at the Patient first.

Li Muzhi, 29 years old, due to...

Ji Xiang could recite the Patient's Medical Record word for word, and he was also well-versed in the relevant imaging data and physical examination.

But the moment he saw the Patient, Ji Xiang fell silent.

Li Muzhi was just like his "self" in the Empathy, haggard and worn out.

Although he was only 29 years old, his hair was already streaked with gray.

In the field of sprinting, 29 is considered a veteran in his prime, but in reality, Li Muzhi was still a young man.

Seeing that his hair had long since turned white, Ji Xiang understood what Li Muzhi had experienced during this recent period.

And all of this, Ji Xiang understood.

At the time, "he" had also experienced all of this. Ji Xiang exhaled deeply and clenched his fists tightly.

He was like someone facing his former "self."

"Doctor Ji Xiang." Lin Jiuze's voice suddenly appeared.

"What is it, Doctor Lin?"

"Are you very nervous today? Why do I feel that your temperament is different from usual?" Lin Jiuze asked.

"No," Ji Xiang answered indifferently.

He had no way to tell Lin Jiuze about his Empathy experience. Even if he did, he figured others would just find him noisy and would never have the same feeling.

Saying it would be a waste of breath; it was better to just brush it off.

"I just feel your mood isn't right today," Lin Jiuze muttered to himself, puzzled.

"Did you chat with the old gentleman yesterday?" Ji Xiang asked in return.

"Yes." After Lin Jiuze replied, he fell silent, then beamed, "Thank you, Doctor Ji Xiang."

"You're welcome. Your old gentleman is a fascinating person; I will visit again when I have the chance," Ji Xiang said.

The Lin family's old gentleman was indeed a fascinating person; this was Ji Xiang's sincere thought.

After chatting about some idle topics and shifting his focus, Ji Xiang's mood calmed down slightly.

He watched Li Muzhi silently; that gray hair, which didn't belong to this age, seemed to be silently pouring something out to Ji Xiang.

Deng Chaohong performed a physical examination, chatted with Li Muzhi for a few moments, told him not to be nervous, and waved to head to surgery.

The Anesthesiology Department doctor, Nurse, and the ward doctor took Li Muzhi away, and the local hospital's director accompanied Deng Chaohong to the operating room.

Being accompanied all the way by the director of a higher-level hospital, Deng Chaohong felt like he was dreaming.

Although the Second Affiliated Hospital and this hospital were both Grade 3A Hospitals, in the national rankings, this hospital could rank in the top ten, while the Second Affiliated Hospital was far behind.

The attentiveness of the higher-level hospital's director made Deng Chaohong feel honored yet apprehensive.

Ji Xiang followed behind Deng Chaohong to change clothes; he didn't hear a single word of what Deng Chaohong and the director were saying.

In Ji Xiang's mind, the experiences of his former "self" appeared bit by bit.

At the time, he didn't think much of it; when he encountered difficulties, he just got through them one by one. Moreover, he had a goal at the time—to lead the National Team into the World Cup, and even eventually lift the trophy.

But after being tempered and accumulated by time, encountering a patient who shared the same plight, the various emotions in his "self's" heart at that time welled up.

"Did anything happen when Doctor Ji Xiang went back last night?" Seeing that Ji Xiang's state was off, Lin Jiuze pulled Zhao Zhe aside to ask in a low voice.

Zhao Zhe was startled, but quickly reacted, shook his head, and looked at the ground as he replied in a low voice, "Nothing happened. I saw Xiao Ji go to the gym to run a half-marathon first thing in the morning. His body is truly great; when I was young, I would be exhausted after running five kilometers, but Xiao Ji doesn't even catch his breath after running a half-marathon."

"Then why do I feel like Doctor Ji Xiang seems different from usual? What exactly happened?"

"Did you encounter anything strange when Xiao Ji left with you yesterday? I don't have anything going on here, so I reckon the problem is on your end," Zhao Zhe asked casually.

Lin Jiuze felt slightly awkward hearing Zhao Zhe ask so steadily.

The two whispered a few words to each other, but in the end, they reached no conclusion.

Zhao Zhe also felt that Ji Xiang was a bit off today.

If it were any other young doctor, Zhao Zhe would have assumed it was caused by nervousness.

After all, it wouldn't be strange for anyone to be nervous about performing a reverse Flying Knife at a higher-level hospital.

But Ji Xiang wouldn't be.

Back in the beginning, Qin tried to win Ji Xiang over, but Ji Xiang didn't indulge him at all; during a medical conference, he even slammed an A4 sheet of paper onto Qin's face.

This young man's mental fortitude was at an Extreme Point.

And now, the local hospital's director was very amiable, even carrying a bit of an eager-to-learn attitude, which was a world of difference from the tense, sword-drawn atmosphere when facing Qin back then.

That shouldn't be.

Perhaps he was just overthinking it, Zhao Zhe finally gave himself an excuse and a reason.

Arriving at the operating room, Zhao Zhe began disinfecting with nimble hands and feet.

Ji Xiang didn't stand by and wait; instead, he disinfected alongside Zhao Zhe.

He was very careful, from the inside out, every movement meticulous to an Extreme Point.

Seeing Li Muzhi's white hair out of the corner of his eye, Ji Xiang felt somewhat uncomfortable. As he turned, the Circulating Nurse happened to pass by, and in a moment of distraction, Ji Xiang bumped into her.

"Clang~"

The disinfecting kidney basin hit the floor.

The atmosphere in the operating room suddenly became inexplicably awkward.

The Circulating Nurse subconsciously wanted to scold someone, but upon remembering that this was an externally invited expert surgery, she swallowed the profanity back down.

In the operating room, the Circulating Nurse is a rather special existence.

Ji Xiang was also very awkward; his heart was a bit chaotic.

Using the superior doctor's gaze several times had left Ji Xiang with a subconscious, dictatorial manner.

Just as he was about to reprimand the Circulating Nurse, Ji Xiang realized that he was indeed acting strangely today and swallowed the words he was about to say.

Staring at each other, Ji Xiang reacted quickly, bowing slightly, "Teacher, I'm sorry, I'll go scrub in again."

"It's my fault, I'm sorry."

Both apologized, and the matter was considered settled.

Lin Jiuze watched in surprise as Ji Xiang went to re-scrub; this scene just now confirmed his suspicion—Ji Xiang was indeed not in the zone today.

When at the Second Affiliated Hospital, Lin Jiuze had assisted Ji Xiang in many surgeries, and nothing like this had ever happened.

Although Ji Xiang was young, he was an old hand in the operating room, doing everything in an orderly fashion and never causing trouble.

What is going on today?!

Ji Xiang also realized the problem with his emotions and re-scrubbed.

Listening to the rushing sound of water, Ji Xiang tried hard to calm himself down. He took a deep breath, smoothing out the restlessness deep within his heart.

Every instance of Empathy was like a pot of aged wine, and Ji Xiang hadn't expected it to have such a powerful aftereffect.

At the time when he performed surgery on Neymar, he hadn't felt this way.

Returning after re-scrubbing, Zhao Zhe had already finished disinfecting.

Ji Xiang felt the Lead Clothing on his body was a bit awkward; something was indeed strange today.

The surgery,

began.

But from the moment he assisted Deng Chaohong with the skin incision, Ji Xiang felt things weren't going smoothly.

His hands were like Coach Zhai's hands; they were actually shaking a little.

Damn it!

Ji Xiang cursed viciously in his heart.

Holding his breath and focusing, he wasn't entering the System Operating Room; Ji Xiang was trying to concentrate with all his might.

Yet the more he did so, the more his surgical movements went out of form.

"Huh?" Deng Chaohong also noticed something wrong. He looked up at Ji Xiang, and although he didn't say much, he secretly lamented in his heart.

Young master, please don't drop the ball at such a critical moment!

"It's fine, Teacher Deng." Ji Xiang squinted his eyes and returned a smile to Deng Chaohong.

Director Liu of the local hospital stood behind in his Lead Clothing, staring at the surgery.

"Director, is this their level?" an Attending Professor said disdainfully, "Their skin incision isn't even as smooth as the ones performed by the Doctor of Philosophy under me."

"Keep your voice down," Director Liu said in a low voice.

"It's truly damn ridiculous; even if we aren't going abroad for surgery, we shouldn't be finding a doctor from a lower-level hospital to operate. This is just pure nonsense."

Director Liu didn't speak, but turned his head to give the Attending Professor a look, signaling him to stop talking.

"Sigh," the Attending Professor sighed.

Although their voices were soft, Deng Chaohong still heard them.

It felt like slaps to the face for Deng Chaohong.

But Deng Chaohong had no choice; the surgery was originally performed by Ji Xiang, and even after watching a hundred or so cases, he still hadn't understood Ji Xiang's technique.

Even if he tried to imitate it, he could at most copy 30 percent; anything more was impossible.

The more Deng Chaohong thought about it, the more worried and anxious he became; he couldn't understand at all why Ji Xiang would suddenly drop the ball.

Everything was fine during breakfast, and Ji Xiang wasn't sick either; he had been performing surgeries with ease, yet suddenly his performance plummeted, and he couldn't even assist properly.

This was no joke!

If it were anyone else, Deng Chaohong would have at least said a few words to keep them in line.

But the person standing next to him was Ji Xiang, and Deng Chaohong didn't even know what to say.

Forget it, let it be; he could only hope that Xiao Ji would return to normal quickly on his own.

However, was that even possible?

Deng Chaohong could only try his best to take on more of the work, letting Ji Xiang perform fewer operations.

Skin incision, Blunt Dissection; the surgical field was worse than usual.

Deng Chaohong knew very well what Ji Xiang usually did during surgery; without the help of such an impressive assistant, even with his own full effort, this was the best he could do.

But the most critical part was coordinating with Lin Jiuze's operation: Suturing the Achilles Tendon Repair.

Deng Chaohong knew the principles of this step and had read all the papers Ji Xiang wrote over and over again, even to the point of being able to recite them backward.

But when it actually came to this step, Deng Chaohong still couldn't perform it.

At the same time, Lin Jiuze and Zhao Zhe had already begun Super-selection and Angiography.

On the imaging, the faint capillaries of the Achilles tendon were barely visible, yet Deng Chaohong had no idea how to proceed with the next step.

He looked up at Ji Xiang.

Ji Xiang was looking at the imaging, and after forming a judgment in his mind, he reached out his hand.

The Needle Holder slapped into his hand, and Ji Xiang prepared for Suturing.

However, just as the needle tip was about to descend, Ji Xiang felt something was wrong. The position was off, and his hand was a bit unsteady.

Li Muzhi's white hair and the experience of "his own" hair turning white overnight crashed into the depths of his heart like ocean waves.

Ji Xiang's formidable inner resolve was already teetering.

What was happening? Ji Xiang stopped his movements, closed his eyes slightly, and ignoring the fact that Lin Jiuze was right beside him, he held his breath and focused, entering the System Operating Room.

"Can you do it or not?" the Attending Professor said with disdain.

This time, he didn't deliberately lower his voice, and Deng Chaohong heard it clearly.

"Professor Deng, why aren't you suturing?" Director Liu also noticed that Ji Xiang was the one performing the critical part of the surgery.

And since Ji Xiang had stopped his movements, Deng Chaohong hadn't continued either.

Was this bringing a student to perform surgery? Director Liu was very displeased.

"Uh..." Deng Chaohong was stunned for a moment.

"Professor Deng, you know the Patient's condition; it seems highly inappropriate to bring a student to perform this kind of surgery."

(End of chapter)