Chapter 20: The Toilet Demon in the Bucket

Changing the doors went smoothly.

All the doors at Ping’an Lodge look identical, so they only needed to swap the doors, exchange the locks, wipe off the handprints on one door, and transfer them to the other, achieving perfect secrecy.

The door swap was quickly completed.

Room 406, taken by Qi Zhiyong, was fitted with the door from Room 403, which had been marked last night, while Room 403 received a clean door.

Wu Xian and the others would be staying tonight in the former Room 402 of Qi Zhiyong.

This room would be absolutely safe tonight.

The purpose of swapping the doors was still to test the logic of the Door-Crasher.

“Ah…”

If only I could use the last True Fire Spell…

The flames burned the Fat Cultist’s greasy flesh dry, releasing a thick stench, leaving behind a coarse yellow incense stick on the floor, and another strange sound echoed inside the room—perhaps a deity statue had appeared.

According to Shi Ji’s description, a malevolent spirit, drawn to him, was continuously approaching—and the closer he was to the toilet, the faster it came.

He sat on the toilet merely to lure the spirit; he couldn’t risk actually defecating.

Wu Xian narrowed his eyes—he realized Shi Ji had triggered the negative effect of worshipping the deity!

He had encountered something similar during his second worship; he had bowed before the Xuanming Statue, only to be cursed by Mr. Wang, whose body temperature would keep dropping unless he was rescued.

That cost would be unrecoverable!

Shi Ji remained dazed throughout—he was thoroughly bewildered by Wu Xian.

True Fire Spell!

The True Fire Spell ignited the diesel; flames erupted violently. The Toilet Demon shrieked, trying to retreat into the toilet, but because of the diesel, the fire inside the bowl burned even fiercer.

“Ever since I worshipped the deity, I’ve felt like I’m being watched.”

After waiting a moment, the spirit fully unfolded.

Shi Ji worshipped the Heavenly Official—so he had been “Bestowed with Evil.”

After Shi Ji entered the toilet, he felt the air grow noticeably colder, and the copper coin sword in his hand began warming up—this meant the spirit targeting him was about to appear.

If the marked object was the room, Wu Xian wouldn’t lose either—this information could be used eventually anyway.

The two went downstairs together to search for the deity statue.

At the toilet door, Shi Ji hesitated.

Then they saw Shi Ji clenching his legs, grimacing as he twisted his hips.

But what exactly was the effect of “Bestowed with Evil”?

If the marked object was the door, then Qi Zhiyong would surely die tonight—Wu Xian wouldn’t even need to lift a finger to exact his revenge.

It was fat as a pig, covered in filth, and the filth teemed with countless eyes.

Wu Xian raised an eyebrow: “Explain clearly—what do you mean?”

“It’s gradually approaching me—I’m afraid I won’t live until the Great Spirit finds me…”

“Brother Wu, after you worshipped the deity yesterday, did you encounter anything?”

Wu Xian took Shi Ji to a random toilet, cut off the water supply, poured a bucket of diesel into the toilet bowl, then pushed Shi Ji onto the seat.

Before it could comprehend, Wu Xian leapt out with a flash, flicking a finger-thin flame from his middle finger.

Shi Ji shuddered, rolled forward like a stubborn donkey, and the next second, a blue hand emerged from the toilet!

If Shi Ji had moved slower, that hand would have pierced him through!

Behind the hand came a body as thick as a sewer pipe, stretching and twisting through the air, emitting a horrifying stench.

But the moment he sat on the toilet, his abdomen twisted like knives, his intestines contorted, teeth clenched, pressure building—this was excruciating.

Since the deity statues were hard to find now, and Shi Ji could attract spirits, wouldn’t it be easier to just kill the spirit drawn to him and find the statue that way?

Shi Ji’s face twisted, veins bulging.

It smelled like diesel… but what even is diesel?

Since becoming a spirit, it rarely recalled its human memories—only occasional fragments surfaced in its mind.

Shi Ji patted his large buttocks, his expression grim: “Ever since I worshipped yesterday, I haven’t had a proper bowel movement—I’m about to burst.”

After the doors were swapped.

This was a Toilet Demon.

Swapping doors, wiping handprints—doesn’t this mean the rule everyone had firmly believed in was all along being manipulated by Wu Xian?

Only Wu Xian himself knew which room was safe?

They searched for a while but found no statue. Shi Ji finally snapped out of his shock and remembered he needed Wu Xian’s help—he asked him in a hushed tone.

First, it was filthy beyond measure and covered in flames—like a living, roasted pile of shit. Fighting it with a copper coin sword meant enduring both physical and spiritual threats simultaneously.

“Will this really work?”

Just as Wu Xian hesitated, Shi Ji suddenly leapt up from the ground, pulled a black donkey hoof from his chest, and slammed it with all his strength onto the Toilet Demon’s forehead.

According to Wu Xian’s experience, places where danger occurred were more likely to yield deity statues and spirit incense.

This Toilet Demon was covered in diesel and had taken a True Fire Spell—and still hadn’t died.

Later, the invitation included a note: after worshipping, there’s a chance of negative effects—Heavenly Official bestows evil, Earthly Official imposes punishment, Water Official curses.

The Toilet Demon roared and charged toward Wu Xian and Shi Ji.

Wu Xian raised his middle finger, hiding outside the toilet.

This Toilet Demon was stronger than ordinary spirits, but exchanging it for one worship was still worth it.

“Something’s been searching for me, watching me—this feeling is strongest when I’m using the toilet.”

What was stuck on my lips?

Not stinky enough?

This is a problem now.

Shi Ji’s sense was even stronger—eyes watched from everywhere, malice seeped through the toilet bowl into his body, as if trying to devour him from within out.

…

Dead!

Wu Xian chuckled: “Go use the toilet—don’t let your butt swell up any more.”

Wu Xian picked up the incense stick and prepared to worship.

“Also this morning, I wanted to pee, but I kept feeling someone watching me—it was too direct, made my skin crawl, and I couldn’t urinate at all.”

The Toilet Demon, already weakened by the True Fire and struck hard by the black donkey hoof, instantly slumped over, neck crooked, collapsing to the ground.

Wu Xian was startled.

“Last night, when I was taking a shit, I’d just sat down and felt a cold wind blowing upward—I immediately stood up. When the toilet flushed, the water swirled chaotically, like a hand was stirring inside…”

Wu Xian calculated in his mind, then smirked and patted Shi Ji on the shoulder.

“This might not be a bad thing.”

The Toilet Demon stared at Shi Ji, licked the filth from its lips, as if seeing a delicious delicacy—but then it frowned.

“It’s coming—it’s here!”

“Don’t worry—I already told you, I’ve got your back.”

“Let me take you to the toilet—don’t hold it in any longer.”

Shi Ji shook his head: “It’s… not over yet!”

The Taiping Guangji, Ghosts Chapter 18: Diao Mian.

Diao Mian, governor of Xuan Cheng, was originally a military officer who first served as commander of Yumen Garrison. A Toilet God appeared outside the stable—its form resembled a giant pig, its entire body covered in eyes, entering and exiting the latrine and wandering through the courtyard. Diao Mian was away at the time, but over a thousand officials, soldiers, and attendants witnessed it. This continued for several days. When Diao Mian returned, he performed sacrificial rites to pray for blessings, and the Toilet God vanished. Ten days later, Diao Mian was promoted to Inspector of Yizhou, then reassigned as Left Guard Commander, Right Xiongwei General, and Left Yulin General, and rose to great prominence.

(End of Chapter)