Chapter 252: He Shen and Ji Xiaolan

Second segment:

【Scene: Study. Ji Xiaolan questions He Shen about the Yancheng disaster‑relief grain being exchanged for bran.】

Ji Xiaolan 【angry】: "Those greedy officials in Yancheng have swapped the food people eat for bran and fodder that livestock eat. Are you aware of this, sir?"

He Shen 【calm】: "I know."

Ji Xiaolan 【more angry】: "Don't you feel ashamed, sir?"

He Shen 【nonchalant】: "I feel even more gratified."

Ji Xiaolan 【astonished】: "What?!"

He Shen 【leisurely】: "One pound of rations can be exchanged for three pounds of bran. Food that could save one person can now save three."

Ji Xiaolan 【furious】: "But bran is for livestock, not for people!"

He Shen 【suddenly raising his voice, with a cruel "clarity"】:

"Are the disaster victims still human?! Those on the brink of starvation are no longer people; they are beasts! As long as they live, what does it matter if it's bran? It's a good thing. Grass roots, bark, even soil can be eaten!"

Ji Xiaolan 【shocked, speechless】: "……"

He Shen 【continuing, voice agitated】: "You're naturally shocked! You're just a scholar, confined to your study, clutching the saints' books and berating the current court!"

"You've certainly heard of 'exchanging children for food'; it's only four characters in the histories! I've seen it with my own eyes! Swapping children to eat is just a pot full of meat!"

Ji Xiaolan 【trembling】: "You—"

He Shen 【steps closer, lowers his voice, yet more ferocious】:

"Do you think I have no humanity? Do you think I only know greed and hoarding? I have personally gone to the disaster zone! …If I don't find a way to adapt, what you'll see there won't be victims but white bones!"

【A brief pause, tone shifting to deep fatigue and sarcasm】

"Save the officials first. If the officials can't survive, what's the point of saving the people?"

Ji Xiaolan 【rebuking】: "Absurd!"

He Shen 【cold laugh】: "That's the fact! Who distributes disaster‑relief grain among the countless victims? Is it you or me? It all depends on those myriad officials! Feed them, and they'll be willing to risk their lives for me!"

"This is the grand principle earned after decades of official career, the golden principle born from countless blood‑stained facts. Mr. Ji, why don't you understand?"

Third segment:

【Scene: Banquet. He Shen leads a dog, putting Ji Xiaolan in a bind.】

He Shen 【pointing at the dog, with a double meaning】: "Vice Minister Ji, what is this? Is it a wolf (vice minister) or a dog?"

A Censor 【joining in】: "The vice minister is a dog!"

Ji Xiaolan 【unhurried, to He Shen】: "Sir He, the Minister, the dignified Grand Scholar—can't tell wolf from dog? Today I'll have to teach you."

【He points at the dog's tail】

"Look at the tail: the lower drooping one is the wolf, the upright (Shangshu) one is the dog. Got it? The Shangshu is a dog."

【Turning to the Censor】: "May I ask, sir, your official rank?"

Censor 【awkward】: "I am the Censor of the Jiangnan Circuit."

Ji Xiaolan 【realizing】: "Ah, Censor sir. This dog loves to eat excrement, so it's called 'Yu Shi' (Censor) eating excrement."

(The hall erupts in laughter; He Shen and the Censor's faces turn red.)

Fourth segment:

【Scene: Casual chat. He Shen and Ji Xiaolan discuss life's pursuits.】

He Shen 【curious】: "Ji Xiaolan, I'd like to ask you, what exactly are you after in this life?"

Ji Xiaolan 【free‑spirited】: "What for? If you mean fame, I already have enough reputation;

If you mean profit, I find it meaningless. I just want to live with flavor."

He Shen 【shaking his head】: "Flavor? Look at me—no fame at all, absolutely no fame. Yet I guarantee that a thousand years from now, more people will know He Shen than Ji Xiaolan! Believe it or not?"

Ji Xiaolan 【sarcastic】: "I believe it; that's an eternal infamy."

He Shen 【nonchalantly laughing】: "Say whatever you like; by then I'll already be buried in a grave, and I won't hear anything you say."

"Think about yourself: you chase neither fame nor profit, yet you're busy all day with your filthy feet pointing to the sky. Isn't life exhausting for you?"

Ji Xiaolan 【retorting】: "Let me ask you, you're busy all day scooping up money. You say even if you die a pile of silver slag, you can't even bring it to your grave. Aren't you tired?"

He Shen 【choked, then laughingly scolds】: "Fine, Ji Xiaolan, though we're like confidants…"

Ji Xiaolan 【dryly】: "But we're not on the same wavelength! See you tomorrow!"

These dialogue scenes play out, and observers from myriad realms react differently.

Some think this 'He Shen' is eloquent, spouting twisted arguments, yet upon reflection there are hints of truth (especially in the disaster‑relief part).

Some feel Ji Xiaolan is sharp and upright, cursing without vulgar words.

More people watch with relish, surprised that the top corrupt official also has such a 'lively, articulate' side.

During the Qianlong era, the Hall of Mental Nourishment.

Emperor Qianlong watches the celestial screen where He Shen sparring with Ji Xiaolan, uttering those shocking yet seemingly insightful remarks.

He then looks at the He Shen on the ground, feeble and only kowtowing for mercy, his gaze extremely complex.

The screen's display is clearly a later dramatization, not authentic historical dialogue.

Yet… some of He Shen's 'logic', especially the blunt remarks about bureaucracy and disaster relief, pierce Emperor Qianlong's heart like needles, making him uneasy yet hard to refute.

He suddenly understands why the screen's 'punishment' for He Shen seems light (only ten years of life reduced, money given to the people).

Because, in the eyes of Heaven (or later interpretation), He Shen is indeed a great glutton, yet he is also a product of this decaying, rigid bureaucracy that requires 'unwritten rules', even a 'wise man' who masters and calmly accepts its filthy regulations.

He is greedy, but he also 'gets things done', especially for the emperor.

His twisted arguments may well be the true portrait of surviving in that era's officialdom.

Eliminating a He Shen is easy, but what about the soil that breeds him?

Realizing this, the emperor's murderous intent wanes, turning into a deeper fatigue and… ennui.

He killed He Shen, the money was gone (divided by the Heavenly Way), and he still had to bear the scornful nickname "Bird Exhausted, Bow Hidden, Collecting Funds for the Son" (Jiaqing).

Moreover, the Heavenly Curtain has already shortened his lifespan; he doesn't have many good years left.

Qianlong slowly rose to his feet, walked to the limp He Shen, looked down at him from a height, his gaze icy, yet no longer raging.

"He Shen."

The Emperor Qianlong's voice was frighteningly calm,

"Your deeds have been exposed by the Heavenly Curtain, and Heaven's Way has already punished you."

"I, having considered your many years of service, still grant a small mercy. The death penalty can be spared, but the living punishment cannot be escaped."

He Shen jerked his head up, and a hopeful light burst from his eyes.

"Henceforth, strip He Shen of the positions of Grand Scholar of Wenhua Hall, Chief of the Military Affairs, Director of the Imperial Household Department, and all other important posts, demote him to Right Assistant Minister of the Ministry of Revenue (for reduced duties), fine his salary for a year, confine him to contemplation behind closed doors, and forbid him to leave the residence without an edict."

"His assets… having already been dealt with by Heaven's Way, I shall not pursue them further."

"However, his accomplices shall be rigorously investigated by the authorities; any illegal ones shall be dealt with according to the law."

This punishment… is absurdly light!

Just a demotion, a salary fine, and house arrest?

For a mega‑corruptor who embezzled eight hundred million taels, this doesn't even scratch an itch!

Everyone in the hall was stunned, even He Shen himself could hardly believe it.

But Emperor Qianlong had already turned away, no longer looking at him, and said lightly to his attendants, "I am weary; everyone may withdraw."

"Uh…"

The people, as if waking from a dream, hurriedly bowed and stepped back.

A eunuch stepped forward and "supported" the still‑dazed He Shen out.

They walked out of the hall.

He Shen's heart was a swirl of five flavors, unsure whether it was relief, sorrow, or endless absurdity.

Emperor Qianlong stood alone in the empty Hall of Nurturing the Heart, watching the Heavenly Curtain finally dissipate slowly, the sunset's afterglow streaming through the lattice windows, stretching his aged silhouette long.

He suddenly recalled the words spoken on the Heavenly Curtain by the "playful" He Shen:

"A thousand years later, more people will know He Shen than will know Ji Xiaolan…"

A bitter, extreme smile flickered at Qianlong's corner of the mouth.

"Hongli, Hongli… you and your 'He Aiqing', now you truly will become 'immortalized in history'… the kind that reeks for ten thousand years."

He slowly closed his eyes, as if he had instantly aged ten more years.