Chapter 12: I Got the Answer

(... Strange woman.)

Killua whispered this impression in his mind countless times.

"What's wrong? Aren't you going to sleep?"

I had spread out a spare sheet and blanket on the floor, trying to say something to Sora who was sitting there asking, but he couldn't think of what to say, so Killua answered "Ah" and lay down.

On the bed, there was only one person in the small room.

The transportation heading to the Hunter Exam site was, of course, packed with people aspiring to be Hunters.

There was one cancellation for the airship room that day, and I was lucky enough to get it.

Even if it was a single room.

At first, Killua made a look of disgust, but because Sora didn't care, he felt he was being overly self-conscious, as if he wanted to be seen as the opposite sex, and gave up on the idea of sharing the room.

However, as expected, I intended to firmly refuse to sleep in the same bed. We hadn't known each other long, but I was worried this woman would want to sleep with me, call me a "dakimakura," and cling to me.

Yet, unexpectedly, Sora quickly spread the extra sheet and blanket on the floor, fully assuming that he himself would sleep on the floor.

As for Killua, he was absolutely unwilling to share a bed with her, but he also had no intention of giving up the bed.

In order to run away from home and avoid the pursuit of the Maid and his brother, this house was not only famous locally, but also going downhill. It had opened recently, so he missed the bedding where he could rest comfortably, even if it was much smaller than his parents' bed and the mattress was harder.

It was a bit nostalgic, but because of work, he was used to sleeping outdoors, so he wasn't particularly tired. So, Sora didn't give up the bed because of Killua's situation, right?

It was just because I was older, and Killua was younger.

It was just "natural."

"... Hey, Sora."

"Hm?"

I didn't look down on Killua like I did when I was a child; Killua opened his mouth.

"Why do you want to become a Hunter, Sora?"

Killua had no interest in becoming a Hunter, even though he was going to take the Hunter Exam. My motive for applying was just to get rid of boredom, because when I ran away from home, the privileges of having a License were convenient for me.

So even though I wasn't interested in other people's motives, I wanted to know.

I wanted to know more about this strange woman.

Although we had only known each other for about half a day, I knew almost nothing about Sora, but he teased me as if he could see through me, acknowledged me, and gave me things; I couldn't help it.

A long time ago, when a girl about my age came to be the new Maid, no matter how many times I asked her to "be my friend," she would say: "I am your servant, and Master Killua is my employer." I remembered "something" I should have given up on.

I hoped I could get it this time.

"My goal isn't being a Hunter. However, I have nothing to prove my identity, so I want a License."

When I wondered if I had any goals, I smiled inexplicably, for reasons strikingly similar to my own.

However, I didn't like what was said next.

"Also, finding my brother might be useful. Or rather, my brother is an ambitious Hunter, so he's probably at the exam site."

I thought she was like me, with no goals and no dreams, but when she discovered she had something she truly wanted, she inexplicably didn't like it.

"So you have a brother? Didn't you run away because you were my sister?"

"Ahaha. That would be even better. Oh, right, he's not my biological brother, not even loyalty counts, I wonder if he's just a younger brother?"

Killua's rude remark was laughed off.

I was wondering why it would be "better," but more importantly, Killua's frustration was calmed by this sentence: "Neither real nor in-law, strictly speaking, he is just a little brother."

Killua, who didn't even know what his own anger was, of course didn't realize his expectations for this sentence.

He didn't know; he thought that if there was no blood relation, no paperwork, just a shared wish, maybe he could become like before. No.

"What about you, Killua? Do you have a Hunter you admire?"

Sora asked the same question before he could analyze his own feelings, and Killua forgot why he was so angry and even felt puzzled by it.

However, I was satisfied with the peaceful time I had never experienced at my parents' house, let alone the times recently when I only slept outdoors.

"I don't have any special reason either, I just heard it was hard, so I'm killing time. After all, having a License is convenient, I'm old enough to run away from home, and even if I have money, I'm sad."

"Ah, I think I ran away from home."

Hearing Killua's words, Sora raised his voice to show agreement.

I didn't hear any news about the situation, but after all, a sane parent would certainly not let a child around 12 years old take an exam that usually leads to death. On the contrary, if the child is cute, no matter how old it is, it usually stops.

So from the beginning, Sora thought Killua ran away from home to take the Hunter Exam.

However, I learned from his answer that he decided to take the Hunter Exam after running away from home.

"Killua."

"? What?"

Seeing Sora suddenly get up, Killua lay down with a puzzled look.

Sora sat on the floor, without turning on the lights in the room, and rested his chin on Killua's bed to ask him.

If I had run away from home to take the Hunter Exam, I wouldn't have said anything. At most, for his family's sake, I think I would protect him as much as possible, even if he didn't like it.

But if that wasn't the case, I really wanted to tell Sora something.

There was a "failure" I didn't want you to make.

"What do you think of 'family'?"

Faced with Sora's question, Killua looked displeased and turned over in the opposite direction.

Sora sighed, then spoke to Killua, who didn't answer after a while.

"Killua.

If you don't like your family, hate them. If you hate it, there's nothing that can be done. I like it, but if you really want to leave, you should leave. If you want to run away, you can run away. Because running away and winning is very common.

But, whether you like it or not, if you don't know what you think of the other person and run away without facing them, you might regret it."

"... What is that?"

Killua turned around and asked again.

No matter what Killua thought, the family loved Killua.

Although this woman had already wanted to quit, she should have understood during the day that she was a monster whose moral concepts had been destroyed to the point of competing with her own Assassin, but she completely forgot this point and took the initiative to pout. Killua felt ashamed for himself and turned around, motionless.

So he did not know what expression Sora had when she spoke.

"Yes.

Love it or hate it, don't say to its face, 'Well, either way.'

＊＊＊

"My family has been wiped out, I am alone.

My father looked down on me and wanted to kill me, but the sister who protected me fell together with my father. So maybe my blood pressure rose too high, the blood vessels in my brain ruptured, and I gave up."

"Hey, wait."

Killua turned around and let out a very natural retort.

Although the content of the story was Heavy to the point of being attracted to Killua, she came from a very special family, not only in Sora's world, but in this world, Sora's level of tension was high, and if it wasn't low, it was as if it were something deceptive. It was normal that Killua's heart was more attracted to this fact, as if the weather were talking about today.

"I mean, why did your father suddenly want to kill you?"

"Well, it's complicated to explain in detail, but..."

Killua's question made Sora think.

Because Gander was used in the brawl on the airship during the day, and sometimes Direct Death occurred, Killua was thought to have "used some kind of mysterious technique" on Sora, but for some reason, Sora claimed to be herself from the beginning. She did not believe in "Magician".

Sora didn't say anything because she didn't ask, and it didn't matter if she didn't believe her, but she knew that the "Magic" and "Magician" in Sora's world. You wouldn't be able to understand.

However, if I were to explain it accurately, I would have to start with the fact that I came from another world, and I don't care if this fact itself is known, but if I explain it now, the surrounding explanation would be even longer, Sora. It was a question of whether she could say what she wanted to say, so she decided to have another chance, and Sora explained it in the spirit of a rough outline.

"Well, my family has passed down a special technique for generations.

It was inherited from a child, and it was decided that my sister would inherit it, so I was just a backup.

Actually, in order not to complicate the inheritance issue, it is normal for a family to have one child, but the younger brother born before my sister and I, before inheriting the technique, suddenly died accidentally, and at that time there were many parents, because if I were old and the same thing happened, my family would be cut off, so I barely had two children, barely had children."

"... The more I listen, the worse the house is."

I know this is a family I can't talk too much about to others, but even so, the Zoldyck family, caring for their children, cherishing their family, the Magician said, "Children are their own Magic research." I can't believe I only see the values of the "successor machine" that will take over, I drew more.

By the way, Sora didn't say it because she knew it had nothing to do with the main line, and she would be surpassed by donbiki, but Sora and her sister might be far from their brother's face. They died before they were born. I don't even know his name. My parents rarely mentioned it, and when they did, they only said "that".

"Yes, my parents are the worst shit, embarrassing wherever you put them.

But even such parents can give birth to good children. Tobi gave birth to a Dragon, let alone a Hayabusa, and her sister was naturally intelligent, and her mother was even a genius, she said the brother died, and gave birth to a new child, which is good.

So mom always stayed with sister, educated her with heart, and I entrusted the education to my husband."

Clearly affirming Killua's words, Sora continued the conversation as if it were someone else's problem.

"Because we are not a couple bound by love, my father naturally had a complex about his wife, and his sister, that is, his daughter. I really only taught them the basics, saying they should be able to live a normal life without anything, but thinking about it now, that 'minimum foundation' was a messy teaching method, wasn't it?

Perhaps they wanted me at the bottom of the family hierarchy. Well, I have no interest in inheriting the family or the family's technique, so I don't care if I drop out.

When I was a child, I looked at these stupid parents with cold eyes, and one day, the story of the founder of our family's technique taking an apprentice spread.

The parents were amazed by the title of 'founder's personal disciple', and let my 14-year-old sister, although a genius, pass on the skills passed down from generation to generation.!' I sold it.

Then, the founder, the old man..."

"Did you take your sister as an apprentice?"

After saying so much, Killua took the lead in answering.

However, Sora behind her smiled slightly and denied: "It's a pity."

"Someone told me I was better than my sister, but if I really had to choose, I could hardly say which one.

Honestly, my family certainly inherited the skills taught to me by the old man, but in the process of inheritance, I twisted various things and it became something different from the original family, so I said: 'The genius suitable for inheriting our family's skills.' A certain sister is not always suitable to be the old man's disciple. Somehow, when a bird says it wants to be a Fish, it's better to be a waterfowl like a duck or a duck, rather than an eagle or a hawk, so naturally I wasn't taken as a disciple either.

The old man clearly said so, and my mother and sister gave up, gave up, but this is the complex that the stupid old man forced to the extreme."

Just as he was satisfied with Sora's addition, he returned to the topic of "my father almost killed me" that he had begun to forget, and Killua felt uncomfortable.

Killua had no intention of taking over the family, but he admired and respected his father's work, which went beyond the reminiscence I had prepared.

"Because I am a person who looks down on 'normal', I was born into an unusual family, but I might have lived a normal life, but in my father's eyes, I was the person furthest from heaven in the family, he didn't seem to like being evaluated, so he wanted to kill me... or rather, he wanted to use me as Material to strengthen himself. That's right."

"... Your family, what on earth is it?"

"Trash."

I was pulled to the limit by the heir of the Assassin family.

Because the Magic Circuit and Magic Crest were not explained, he knew that this explanation was bizarre and abnormal, but Sora just asked, saying it was fine, because it was actually bizarre and abnormal. After answering the question, she continued the story.

"Since then, just like I said at the beginning, my father wanted to kill me, but my sister noticed and helped me, but my sister didn't expect her father to kill them, they were daughters. Even so, my sister's ability was much stronger than dad's, and I was killed because of this expectation. Dad must have wanted to kill my sister for a long time."

Then, even if I died because of my father's attack, my sister still tried to protect me and killed my father.

After that, when I held my dead sister to see my mother, she was angry at my sister's death because she didn't care about me. The technique inherited by the son is both a technique and an object, so when attacked by the father, it was also destroyed... or rather, it was that stupid person who wanted to attack, the teeth. So, my mother knew that even I and my two backup sisters had become meaningless, and in despair, at the same time, her blood vessels suddenly burst, and she died.

Just like that, there was no one left except me."

A story about a person who was not entitled to be attracted to the family business being attracted many times finally came to an end.

This was a sloppy explanation, so Killua had many things to worry about and to enter, but the part that caught my attention naturally overflowed from my mouth.

"You talk like it's someone else's business."

Although it was about her own house, Sora kept saying it was someone else's problem.

The tension continued, the scum of parents, the death of relatives, as if talking about today's weather, as if it were equal to today's weather.

And to Killua's question, her answer was also relaxed and natural.

"Yes, I think it's almost someone else's problem.

For a long time, I hated my parents because I thought they were trash, stupid, and desperate, and I had no interest in them. Well, those guys are inhumane, so the inhumane impression is enough."

"... What about your sister?"

This question was not answered immediately.

Sora was silent for a moment, and Killua turned around to continue asking.

"Is protecting your sister also someone else's problem?... Do you also hate your sister?"

"... Killua. This question is a lesson."

＊＊＊

Sora paused for a long time before answering Killua's question.

After I answered, the bed springs creaked softly. Afterward, Sora's voice came from a position closer and lower than before, and Killua listened quietly, thinking that he might have collapsed onto the bed.

"I don't know if I like my sister or hate her. I want to know what she thought of me.

After all, our values were completely different, and although we lived in the same house, we rarely met face-to-face. I don't know if he looked down on me or was jealous of me because I didn't inherit the burden of the family.

Just like that, I thought my sister would hate me, but I didn't expect that I would risk my life to save her, so when I was saved, I just said, 'Why?' I asked.

... Then, while I was coughing up blood, I cried in despair because my father was so jealous of me that he wanted to kill me, but my sister smiled and said:

'Don't you know?'. This was my sister's last words."

Killua had his back to Sora, staring at the Wall and asking.

As usual, he spoke in a detached voice without a hint of emotion; I don't know what kind of face he was speaking with, but Killua could not turn back.

Whether it was expressionless or tear-stained, he seemed not to know what to say or what kind of expression to make, so Killua stubbornly turned around and said.

"... So you want me to face you?"

"Don't face me; if you die without knowing what the other person was thinking, you won't regret it at all. After all, there is no one left to face, so I will always be sumo wrestling alone.

Even if the other person is not dead, if you don't know what they think of you, you will always be confused by what they do, and you will hesitate and waver when you need to. That is why it is best to face each other as much as possible, worry and think, and find an answer. If you are so frustrated, you won't know how to get rid of it, and as a result, you will be killed 100 times out of 10.

"What did you do!?"

The contemplative air was blown away by those contradictory, over-the-top remarks I heard during the day, and finally, Killua turned and rushed in.

Sora, who was worried about what he looked like, rested his chin on the bed and looked into the distance, feeling slightly relieved but at the same time a little annoyed.

"In a sense, I went and hit the old man who caused the culprit.

"Who is that old man!?"

"A monster."

Although he was answering Killua's question, Sora's answer was nothing more than a further probe, and he revealed a fake smile.

The failure of the deception.

"I knew from the beginning that the old man should not be blamed. But I am not an idiot who feels happy about other people's misfortune.

That old man probably knew from the beginning. I say this because I knew my house would look almost the same sooner or later.

... But I was angry, why doesn't my friend's father do detective work? I am an expert at finding people and things, so I let that person find an old man to hit him, and as a result, I was hit back; he doesn't know why he likes me. Why?"

"I want to ask that!!"

I am asking Killua, but I know why that old man took him as an apprentice.

If it were his "Magic," he could have predicted Sora's actions, but even so, when I actually saw it, it was more interesting than I imagined.

Of course, Sora hit me with eight outs, but those eight outs were not the "trigger for my family to be wiped out," but "I will never know 'what my sister thought of me'." Even if I could know the "answer" if I had his "Magic," I replied that "I don't need that magic." The Marshal sat on Sora, who had collapsed like a rag, and continued to laugh out loud.

Seeing different worlds or returning to the past cannot erase the fact that Sora has experienced, so for Sora, the answer to his sister's true intentions and his own feelings is "I don't know."

The other answer is for another Sora, so he said: "I don't need it." To Sora, who completely denied his own "Magic," he laughed happily like a boy and said.

"If you have that answer, you will definitely get a further answer one day. The world before the distant end."

Recalling the "Prophecy," displeasure was mixed with killing intent in his heart, and at the same time, there was a bit of gratitude.

Just as the Wizard said, Sora got "the answer other than that."

"I don't know what this means exactly, but I want to believe it is like this." This is the answer I definitely got in this world after escaping from the farthest place.

Killua felt puzzled by Sora, who suddenly smiled slightly in the distance.

Sora reached out to stroke Killua's head, stroking his silver hair, which was softer and shinier than his own white hair.

"You said you don't know your true feelings, but using this as an excuse not to face or think about it is bad. If you don't think, even if you lose it, you can find the answer; moving your legs will only lead you astray. I cannot move forward."

If Sora looks for "answers" in a "Parallel World" or "time travel," I believe that no matter which world he encounters, he will not be satisfied with the "answer."

I didn't look for the answer elsewhere, but I got that answer because I never let go of the wound of "I want to know."

This is the first time I have met him, but I am happy and proud that he is safe and that I was able to help "that child."

I can't help but like that Sora's lack of experience and clumsy Magic are called "wonderful" and that he takes care of me.

The order was reversed, but Sora concluded that his sister must be the same.

I don't think I want to protect her, even if I gave my life, but my "answer" is that she loved me so deeply that I couldn't abandon her, and I still love her so much that I am still worried about it. Because I was able to get it.

"Any answer will do. You don't have to keep that answer forever. You can hate when you want to hate, and you can like when you want to like.

... You just need to fall in love with the person you want to love. Therefore, please face each other properly. Killua."

After listening to Sora's long-winded speech and the advice in the old woman's heart, Killua "hummed," turned around, and left Sora's hand that was stroking his head.

In response, Sora smiled bitterly, as if to say "it can't be helped," but when Killua heard him lying on his back with his eyes closed and muttering, the bitter smile turned into a helpless smile.

"... Well, if I want to, I'll think about it."

She didn't listen at all, but three years ago, a month ago, she had become accustomed to being a disobedient child, so this "answer" was enough for Sora.

＊＊＊

I wanted to say whatever I wanted to say, but when I closed my eyes, Sora's words came alive again, and at the same time, the faces of my family appeared and disappeared.

I don't like the tracks of my life, so I ran away from home, thinking vaguely that if I became a Hunter, I could catch my family because I thought it would make a lot of money, but I still didn't like it. I didn't have the skills to do that. I knew this.

Capturing my family was as impractical and trivial as me flying or using Magic.

So I never really thought about it.

Killua never thought about his feelings for his family.

He stabbed his mother and younger brother.

He was annoyed by his mother, who was overprotective and overbearing, and he looked down on his hysterical, debauched second older brother, yet he could not say he disliked him.

Of course, I have happy memories of my mother praising me, and memories of playing games and laughing together with my second older brother.

My eldest brother is the worst in my family, but I know he takes good care of me.

If I become a Hunter, gain enough power to compete with my grandfather, father, and eldest brother, and then fight my family, I do not know if I would be able to fight.

(... Becoming a Hunter means having such a future.)

The frustration of not being able to find an answer made me drowsy, and as I became more depressed, I was called out.

"Killua."

When I was called, I opened my eyes and turned to face Sora, who was still lying face down on the bed.

She stretched out her arm and stroked the hand of Killua, who was still fast asleep at the desk.

"Can you hold my hand?"

"... Don't treat me like a child."

"No, I really don't want to sleep alone."

Thinking he could see through my hesitation and worry, I stubbornly refused him, and Sora said, "For my own sake."

I thought it was an excuse, but the voice that followed from Sora was so faint that it left Killua speechless.

"I can endure it when I'm alone, but if someone is sleeping next to me, I want to feel their body heat; it's proof that they are still alive. I'm afraid of being alone with my eyes closed."

"I don't like it, because I feel like I will fall into 'that place' again, melt, and then disappear."

Saying things Killua could not understand, Sora's Finger gripped Killua's hand tightly.

"………………Understood."

After answering, Killua grabbed it.

Taller than me, nearly 10 years older than me, sometimes younger than me—I repeatedly reminded myself that I am an adult and she cannot outrun me, yet her hand is not much different from mine; her Finger is even thinner than mine.

Killua closed his eyes again and grabbed his hand, which could be easily crushed.

In the Pitch Darkness behind his eyelids, Sora's soft "Thank you," as if she had breathed a sigh of relief, brought back the sleepiness that had already faded.

I still have not found an answer to how I feel about my family.

However, the softness and body heat of holding hands taught Killua only one "answer."

I have never hated this strange woman.

This is the only answer Killua can get for now.

I wrapped my Finger Together with hers so as not to let go, and let go of my consciousness to enter the Dream World.

When I tested her like in the original work, Sora would immediately answer "Both" and refuse to yield, so I placed Sora herself in the position of the test questioner.

Even so, even if this woman does not realize it, she is very good at raising her own death flag to Illumi.