Chapter 122: Dying Socially Right Now

Even after the Sun rose, Biscuit remained sitting on the edge of the flower bed, continuing to watch.

Biscuit kept watching. I was just watching.

All I could do was watch Sora struggle to prevent her from falling to her death, and continue trying to catch her when she fell.

I did not cooperate. There were no suggestions, nor did I point out when Sora did not notice her appearing in the air... but Biscuit was always there.

On a cold night, he did not sleep, but instead watched Sora's annoying struggle all night with a gloomy face.

Lack of sleep is the greatest enemy of skin, so, unless there was an emergency, Biscuit, who had a policy of getting plenty of sleep, stayed up all night watching Sora's absurd behavior, and still continued to do so.

Biscuit asked herself, "What am I doing? What do you want to do?", but he did not answer.

With this frustration as the culprit, Biscuit hit Sora with an idiot, and incredibly, had not rested since last night.

This was the reason for his annoyance, but Biscuit did not know if this was a place to vent dissatisfaction, or an outburst.

"What is it that you truly want?"

Hearing Biscuit's question, Sora raised his muddy face.

That face, and those night-sky-colored eyes, were blankly looking at him.

I do not understand why Biscuit asked me this question.

It was a face that did not even understand the intent of the question.

Looking at that face, it seemed that the conversation had been established endlessly, and I realized that we were still unable to communicate.

Biscuit was no longer irritated by the person who seemed to be engaged to him, but his topic and perspective had inexplicably deviated to a fatal degree.

However, he let out a long sigh and asked again.

"Why do you ask me, why are you going to such lengths to help her?

Do you see what you look like right now? Even a naughty child playing in a sandbox looks better."

Sora still did not answer Biscuit's second question, only smiling awkwardly.

That smile was not because he was asked a difficult question, but because he did not want to answer, so he smiled to deceive him.

"Of course, it looks terrible.

Just as Biscuit thought, Sora did not answer Biscuit's question, smiling bitterly and admitting that his appearance was terrible.

I cannot touch her, I can only let her fall to her death. Sora's entire body, having been repeatedly hit by Biscuit while attempting to execute a BiscuitThrow, was like a child playing in the mud, just as Biscuit said, or better than a child.

It does not change when the Sun rises. Not giving up.

Although ordinary patients and doctors looked at her with the most suspicious eyes and pulled her away, she never gave up and continued to struggle.

He continued to try to save her, and she could only be seen by Biscuit and himself, as she repeatedly fell to her death.

I should have thought that I would not be irritated by that struggle again, but that was not the case.

Do not answer my own question. It was not that she froze, but that she really could not understand little Biscuit's question, and I told him to spit it out with his hands on his hips.

"What do you mean?"

Refusing in the form of a question.

"I know the other party has no Malice.

But why go so far for someone you have never met?"

Denying everything Sora did and wanted to do.

"Why do you put her above Kurapika? Is what is important to you not the ghost of a stranger who died long ago, but the younger brother you saved?"

I tell you to give up.

"I don't understand why. Although you say you want to kill the thoughts of the dead, you are trying to help the thoughts of the dead, and you put me first, instead of your brother."

Because she died a long time ago.

I might have something to complain about. Knowing this might save her.

"Come on, don't you think what you are doing is vain?

No matter how much you struggle, the person you want to help slips through your hands, falls to the ground, is crushed and crushed, watching you die over and over again, and more than that, I am just crazy."

But reality is ruthless.

Sora, who was desperately trying to save her, could not touch her.

In little Biscuit's view, her repeated falling to her death might not have had any Malice, but this time it backfired.

I don't know how intentional it was, but her Nen Ability had no Malice, she didn't want to hurt anyone, or rather, she didn't want to hurt anyone.

So, even if some conditions were met, you have seen her once, even if you were possessed by her, the person you possessed, the ground she hit would not be hurt.

I won't say it, Sora and other victims who have been possessed until now can only create "growth" unknowingly or unconsciously, or because other conditions were met, they can see it. It seems she is classified as an ordinary person, if she can emit Aura from her whole body, or even have Hard arms, then, it is possible to be touched by her who is Aura herself. Yes.

This is why Sora's idea of "throwing Biscuit to the falling position and letting Biscuit catch it" is an idea I don't want to take seriously, but I want to think it's just a joke, not Sora's own struggle. Your chance of success is actually much higher.

However, this is ultimately a story that has not stepped out of the realm of "possibility".

If the other party has the will to attack, it can be said that it is impossible to have the ability to see and attack from the other party, without attacking from this side.

Nen Ability is not that versatile or foul. If there is such an ability, just by looking at it, there must be some decisive weaknesses and shortcomings. If you don't set such restrictions, you can't create such a terrible ability.

So, most abilities that cannot be interfered with are not because the risk is too great, or strict restrictions are imposed, but simply because they are harmless.

It is a harmless existence, the other party's attack cannot directly interfere, so the Equivalent Exchange that cannot be interfered with here is too simple.

This is why even a veteran Biscuit has no chance to take advantage of it.

... I talked about it a long time ago.

But even so, Sora just said "Hmm" and did not give up.

Just as Biscuit thought the idea "if you are a gifted person, you might be able to touch it" was a low possibility that didn't even need to be confirmed, Sora thought "even a gifted person cannot touch it" was just a possibility, and gave up. No.

Even I, who am not a Nen user, was touched.

I want to be a person without ability.

Believing that his actions met the "conditions", he could not be touched by anyone when she fell, and he helped her, so he did not give up.

"Hey. What exactly are you trying to do?"

He didn't even know if such conditions existed, but he still answered with a smile, just like a true blue sky.

"Is it because I want to be thought of that way?"

With a brilliant smile, he spoke the reason for his madness.

"I don't mind people thinking I'm crazy. That's the truth.

However, I am crazy, but I hope to turn this interesting vector toward the direction of 'goodness,' just as Mr. Bisque said. I want to be that kind of madman."

"... What the hell are you talking about?"

Sora answered while standing up, brushing the dirt and grass clippings off his body.

This was not a relief. The actions and the answers.

So even if Biscuit answered, he would be even more confused, and would ask more when he hesitated.

Biscuit did not know if he asked this question because he was looking for a "human" he could understand, or because he didn't understand anything at all, so he wanted to know if he was a "monster."

However, from her answer, I could understand that both of these expectations were shattered.

"There is no deep meaning or Hidden meaning. It's just like this.

I want to live; the strange thing is that I didn't die, or rather, I died more than once, mentally, at the level of having died several times, that's all. I just said 'I don't want to die.'

As a result, although I might be more afraid of 'death' than anyone else in this world, I understand 'death,' and I am the person closest to 'death.' So, if I don't want to die, I have to keep running, running so fast that I have to forget to breathe, leaving it behind."

Say what you want to say with a smile.

Sora talked about the wish everyone has, even if they haven't expressed it in words.

It was a lonely smile, showing a strange harmony between childhood and old age, like a lost child supporting himself, or an old man looking back on the past, missing the distant past.

"Although I don't want to die like that, I have no reason to live. That's why I think I will become the worst monster in history.

Although he didn't want to do anything, he killed the whole world because he didn't want to die... what a monster."

He laughed while talking about his possible 'what ifs.'

Bisque couldn't laugh at that ridiculous "if."

At first, Biscuit even thought he was a monster. Because I am a monster, I am fighting that Fake Phantom Troupe, and I thought he was coming toward me.

"... Kurapika is the one who kept such a monster within the framework of humanity."

The type of smile changed.

Sora spoke with a lonely and fleeting smile, a sunny smile worthy of that name, and a smile that made people unable to help but feel happy.

He spoke of his salvation, his happiness, and what he had to do to protect them, as if he were telling Biscuit, as if he were bragging, as if he were boasting.

"Because she was there, she told me 'help me,' so she knew nothing about my situation. Even if it was just a glimpse of me, without any reason or meaning, I just grabbed it, 'I don't know,' 'I don't want to die,' and found meaning in my long life... that's why I am now 'not just 'I don't want to die,' but 'I want to live.'

No matter how broken or crazy I am, Sora, as long as I am like this, I want to live... so I don't care if I collapse or go crazy, but I can't let this go.

I can only kill, but I cannot forget or get rid of those feelings of 'I don't want to kill' and 'I want to help.' If I lose them, I will no longer be alive."

"You weren't living from the start!!"

Bisque suddenly screamed, surprising even himself.

He completely denied the reason Sora wanted to live, what he had to do for it, and the things he couldn't let go of.

I had no choice but to deny it. Biscuit, dissatisfied with the whole thing, threw a tantrum like a child, shouting numbly like Sora, forgetting that this was a hospital courtyard.

"You are really, really, really, really, really a big idiot! Why can you help others when you don't even want to die! Why do you think being asked for help is salvation!?

Even if you are like this, do you know how the person you helped feels when they see him sacrificing himself like a suicide while saying such things for his own survival?

If you can save someone by helping a person who doesn't think about anything for them, then go die as you please!!

If not... then you shouldn't help anyone, you should die..."

At first, Bisque's angry shouting made Sora widen his eyes in shock, but the more Bisque shouted and used Stick, the colder Sora became.

It wasn't because he judged Biscuit's words as "nonsense" or "not worth listening to" that he interrupted them and spoke the truth.

Did someone tell you what Biscuit said a long time ago, or did you already know it yourself?

Even after noticing this, Biscuit was reminded that she had made that choice, and blood rushed to Biscuit's head.

"Your way of life and the things you can't let go of are just disgusting!

If you can't find any value other than wasting your life, then go die now!! I know nothing about Kurapika, but I don't want you to give up everything except the wish to help that child or others, and then die miserably. I know, watching me die, you can't save yourself!!"

If you really want to respond to that child's 'save me,' put 'I don't want to kill you' aside, and even if it's him, throw away 'I want to help'!!"

If you want to live, if you really want to help, distinguish between what should be helped and what shouldn't, and then discard them!!"

He shouted to let go of what Sora decided not to let go of.

If you don't let go, you will only end up hurting what you truly want to protect. I was even prepared to admit that.

But no matter where it went, Biscuit's words were a one-man sumo match.

Sora shouted, looked at Biscuit leaning on his shoulder and breathing, then leaned back, looked up at the sky, and answered.

"... I know."

Just as Biscuit thought, Sora didn't need to be told to understand Biscuit's reasoning.

I know that what I did was nothing more than self-satisfaction, which would cause the most cruel harm to those who truly want to protect me.

"I understand what Mr. Bisque wants to say, and I understand how angry he is.

After all, until not long ago, I was in that 'help position.' I also scared a lot of people."

Looking up at the sky, squinting, a dazzling light flashed in his eyes.

Those squinted eyes looked beyond the blue sky, as if looking for someone in the Abyss of the heavens.

I look for those who aim to stand on the side of justice, and those who keep asking "don't you understand?"

"However, sometimes I can understand, because I am in an awkward situation."

……Indeed, it is very frustrating to be told "I am helping you because I want to help you," and to see someone die before your eyes or suffer irreparable harm.

When I see someone important to me get hurt for a stranger they don't even know, I want to scream, "Abandon that person and put yourself first."

But... if I truly put myself first, I would be disappointed in that person. If that person abandoned me, I would be in despair.

In the end, I don't want the other person to "not get hurt." This is for my own sake. When I see someone get hurt, I just want them to stop, because it hurts me too; if they really only protect themselves, even if I know it is unreasonably selfish, I will still feel disappointed and desperate.

Hearing Sora's words, "I understand," he wanted to roar at him again: "If you understand, what are you doing!?"

I couldn't say anything.

Sora knew what he himself had said. For a while, I had been in Biscuit's position, so I knew I hated self-sacrifice that was too one-sidedly self-satisfying.

Just because of such self-satisfaction, there is still a ghost in Sora's mind, and because of that, the Guide, that damn old man, I ended up dying 100 times out of 10.

However, because I understand it, I understand the true intention of that wish.

I don't want the other person to be hurt, that is absolutely true, but more profoundly, the true intention of putting selfishness on the shelf is that I want the other person to remain as they are, without being hurt, you know.

And such a true intention is very natural.

Rather than a person who only puts themselves first, or someone who doesn't reach out when you need help, it is natural to want someone who is willing to sacrifice themselves to help you. About that.

This is all ego.

But if that wish were realized, even if it is ego, if all humans were like this, if you yourself were that kind of person, there would be no sacrifice, no betrayal; if there were difficulties, someone would absolutely help you; the act of "helping because I don't want to be hurt" is ego, and yet not ego.

This would be a dreamlike, happy world, a fantasy story. This is why even if you know it is ego, you seem to have given up on it, because it is impossible.

This is why Biscuit cannot say anything.

I think all of this is useless, I think this is a futile struggle, I don't know what this means, but I want you to stop, I want you to stop, I don't want to see Sora's struggle because I can only see them, so I am just denying...

"……So I can't let go.

Even if this is an insult to Kurapika's selfish anxiety, I don't want her to let me down."

After saying this, Sora revealed a brilliant smile.

Sorry for not being able to listen to Biscuit's opinion; he made a slightly troubled face, but still smiled without hesitation.

Smiling without hesitation and apologizing with a "sorry."

"This! Damn brat!!"

"Guh!?"

Biscuit went completely mad and punched Sora directly into his thin stomach.

The current Sora might have shown that kind of predictive reaction and avoided it easily, but at the time, Sora wasn't playing shogi to the extent of avoiding death, or even if he had predicted it, he wouldn't have acted. I don't know if my body wasn't used enough to move it, but regardless, I couldn't stop Biscuit's sudden attack and took the critical hit directly.

Although I was angry, I remembered that Sora couldn't even put on a "coat," so I didn't add Hatsu to it; this was no longer the way I used to be.

However, Sora at the time didn't notice Biscuit's good intentions at all, then rolled on the ground, twitching and fainting like a dying cicada on the roadside in late summer.

Not only was his stomach suddenly punched, he didn't even understand what had happened to him; he walked over, stomped his feet in front of Sora, and looked down at Sora, saying:

"What are you apologizing for?"

At Sora's apology, he snorted and complained.

Sora, who couldn't even breathe from the pain in his gut caused by Biscuit, naturally couldn't answer, but at Sora's reaction, Biscuit clicked her tongue even more uncomfortably. It was no longer like a thug obsessed with blame and Fate.

As bad as a thug, completely spoiled Biscuit stomped her feet in front of Sora again, as if saying: "I will crush you."

"If you want to apologize, you listen to me, but why do you want to push me away completely while doing whatever you want?"

Sora, who was coughing while trying to avoid Biscuit's inexplicable Pursuit, suddenly stopped breathing and looked up at Biscuit with indigo eyes.

To most of Biscuit's questions and words, he habitually pretended that "I don't understand what you are talking about" or "I don't understand why you have to say such obvious things." Biscuit was angry again. He looked up at her with eyes that seemed to think so.

You are a brat! You don't know anything, but you are a brat!

What do you think a brat like you can do struggling alone? Do you think you can do it? There might be many children weaker than you, dumber than you, who can only rely on you, but you yourself are just a child who can only rely on others!!"

Attack. Everything made me angry.

I also realized that this appearance of mine was disguised for some incomprehensible reason, and my actual age was much older.

Although he misunderstood his actual age to be around 30, he still called her an old witch.

Even though he knew Biscuit was much older than himself, he still grabbed Biscuit's hand without hesitation, pulling him, supporting him.

While saying "I want you to teach me how to live," and offering stupid suggestions on how to help her, Sora, this idiot, this girl, this child...

"Just say something like 'help me'!"

Never said it.

I cried and apologized, I saw terrible things, I wanted to gouge out my own eyes, I didn't know how to live, I knew many times I couldn't control myself, but I never did that. Sora didn't say it.

I didn't ask Biscuit or anyone else.

Of all the things Sora has done so far, not asking for help is the one thing Biscuit dislikes the most.

"It would be fine if a spoiled brat relying on adults died, but a brat who mistakenly thinks he can do anything is big trouble!!

As long as you apologize! If you understand everything I want to say and do, and still want to do whatever you want! If that's the case, please say 'help me'!

If you are told 'help me' and are saved, what are you hesitating for!? I'm sorry for becoming so irrelevant now!!"

Looking very painful, but if you refuse to do anything, you will understand that you will be even more frustrated and annoyed, you stupid child!!"

So, besides yelling at Sora's crazy reason of "I want to become a madman who has gotten rid of kindness," I was completely angry. However, the courage of the protest showed a sharpness that neither the patient nor the sick person had. The doctor could have, but Biscuit continued to yell.

Continued to be angry about not relying on others, not depending on others, and not asking for help.

Stung by that explosion, the person whose anger was burning hot, as if the injury had finally subsided, gave a hoarse cough and opened his mouth.

"--Okay?"

The deep blue eyes were wide open, as if looking at something incredible, asking strangely, to the point that both adults and children could hear it, a voice that couldn't distinguish between male and female, sounding somewhat strangely childish.

Answering this question, Biscuit snorted and spat again.

"Not good, annoying, annoying, annoying, nothing to say, being forced to do it is more troublesome, more annoying, annoying."

"It's troublesome, it's annoying, it's annoying, but it's only natural for a child to rely on an adult!"

While repeatedly emphasizing how troublesome, annoying, and irritating it was, she insisted that it was natural.

Because it was obvious.

That is why I said I would help you, even if it is troublesome and annoying.

Because it was obvious.

I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to see someone who can only get hurt, but... I can't help but get hurt and be hurt, I waste my life on a complete stranger, everything is already over, even if you try hard to help, you can't find meaning in the dead who should be there, and you don't want to let the feeling of "wanting to help" become "meaningless," because I don't want to see that feeling and effort become "meaningless," because it is a matter of course.

So, before you realize it is "meaningless," pretend that you haven't given up before reaching a conclusion, and lock yourself in a Quantum box; it continues to exist as a possibility unless you reach a conclusion. I wanted to leave it, so I told him to give up over and over again.

But I won't give up. No matter how many things Biscuit puts in the box, Sora will still open it, even if he says the box only contains things he doesn't want to see, things that would hurt anyone if they opened it.

I found it in the depths of that box, and I had no doubt about its existence, hoping for Elpis because I reached out.

Hoping for Elpis, if you don't have it, it will be difficult for you to create it with your own hands.

That is why I broke it.

If you don't give up, if you keep struggling, if you keep believing, if you Stick to "this is not meaningless," then at least you are a child. Adult, I told him to ask for help.

This kind of help is selfish and self-serving, but it is natural.

So I reached out my hand.

Biscuit, who had waited for a long time, reached out to the girl who had hit her, causing her to faint in pain.

But the girl still did not take her hand.

Sora finally lifted his upper body with the arm supporting his stomach, his night-sky-colored eyes still wide open, staring straight at Biscuit, and asked again.

"Really, are you okay?"

Confirmation.

Those words were not a lie.

I asked if you would hold my hand.

Just like the ancient heroes who followed me.

Just like an ally of justice who swore not to let go even if drowned in their own ideals.

The answer would never come out, but just like my sister, she died as my shield without a doubt.

I don't want it, I am in a world so narrow that I can't even think of what I want, but like a Wizard who recognizes the vastness of the world—

"Can you really help me?"

I asked if you could help me.

Biscuit answered this question.

"Of course!!"

It was a matter of course, it couldn't be more obvious, I got angry from asking him repeatedly, I threw it away when I was in a bad mood, and since reaching out was already stupid, I grabbed Sora's left hand and lifted it up.

Due to the height difference, Sora couldn't really lift it, so Sora knelt on the ground, and his gaze met Biscuit's. I looked straight into that gaze, which was as straight as Sora's, staring into the Abyss in the depths of the night sky, as if declaring war on the azure emptiness I feared so much.

"I will teach you 'Nen'. The 'Magic' you speak of and 'Nen' are two different things, but they are basically the same, so if you work hard to learn something like 'Magic', you should be able to master it by the end of the day. I mean, do it."

He did not respond to Sora's request, saying it was smarter to remain weak than to become strong, while Biscuit circuitously indicated he would teach him the "Nen" he had refused, and he also rolled his eyes.

Her eyes gradually narrowed, Sora smiled, and Biscuit grabbed his arm, forcing him to kneel.

With an apologetic face that made me want to cry, I smiled as if I had become stronger.

That smile made Biscuit annoyed enough to wonder if she should say it again, so she grabbed Sora's left hand harder and asked, "What's with that face?"

To Bisque's question, although Sora was on the verge of tears, he still answered.

Weakly, as if seeking help.

"—I'm sorry. Mr. Bisque, I'm sorry. Mr. Bisque is a very good person, so I usually can't see it. If I can't do as you taught me, I... I believe Mr. Biscuit will be worried... that's why... I can't say it out loud."

Sora apologized in a voice that trembled weakly like a cry.

He apologized for not relying on him, not being spoiled by him, and not seeking help, is that what you mean?" I asked again.

Sora answered this question.

In that answer, Biscuit realized that what he said really didn't matter.

I ran without knowing it.

Releasing Sora's hand again, appearing in the air above the hospital roof, drifting to where she fell, following where she fell.

Little Biscuit's words were inappropriate.

Almost every word she said, Sora understood himself; this was the choice he made after understanding, so even if I pointed it out now, she would not waver, nor would she yield, so there was no point in saying it.

It goes without saying.

"If you want to live, if you really want to help, distinguish between those who should be helped and those who should not," she had been doing that from the beginning.

From the beginning, I really wanted to help him, but I really wanted to help him, but was interrupted by Sora.

Sora chose Biscuit from the beginning and abandoned her.

Sora said.

Precisely because Biscuit was a "good person," he answered with a face that looked like he was about to cry, saying he had known from the beginning but couldn't correct the misunderstanding.

"She is not dead. She is a living soul."

"Say it first!! You idiot!!"

While screaming, Biscuit, wrapped in Aura, slid her arms and body into the falling position of the woman's vengeful spirit, the woman's vengeful spirit who could only be considered a ghost repeatedly falling to her death.

The electrocardiogram drew small waves.

The waves, which signaled that the patient's heart was about to stop beating, swallowed the nurse's bitterness.

The only thing that made me feel pain was the helplessness of being a nurse who could not cure the patient's illness. In that situation, I was able to enter spring with the will to absolutely help next time.

Helplessness is not the only painful thing that disappoints the nurses.

She feels relieved by the patient's death, yet feels incomparably helpless.

Of course, she does not wish for the patient to die.

The patient is now in her twenties, and having suffered from an unexplained malignant tumor since her youth, spending over a decade without being discharged, there is no reason not to sympathize.

She is too unhealthy and too haggard, but she remains a beautiful woman who cannot be spoiled.

However, she, the patient, and Kyrie Fujo were already beyond saving.

About five years ago, she was given a life expectancy.

After multiple metastases, he removed every part that could be excised; if other metastases were discovered, the only way would be organ transplantation.

I am so desperate that organ transplantation still seems like too easy and possible a hope.

I do not know if I am lucky or unlucky; the tumor was or still is negative when discovered, and it was not immediately life-threatening.

Even if it is negative now, there is no knowing when it will turn positive; just having a bomb-like tumor in one's head is surely very stressful. Eventually, she will lose her life. This is more surprising than a complete cure.

On this point alone, she might have lost her qualifications as a medical worker, but even if she is desperate enough to lament this country's medical care—the lack of terminal care and the option of euthanasia—it can be said that this is the beginning of the world. The patient's misfortune, Kyrie.

Kyrie fell ill when she was young and spent 90% of her life in the hospital. She never went to school and almost never returned home.

Due to living in such a narrow world, coupled with Kyrie's introverted and shy personality, she could not make friends even in the hospital, and her relationships were limited to doctors, nurses, and family; she had none.

The family got along very well. Although they came from a wealthy family and did not need to worry about hospitalization and surgery expenses, their daughter's unexplained illness was enough to break the hearts of other healthy family members, but at least there were doctors. From the perspective of the nurses and the staff, Kyrie was not ostracized; even so, her parents were not overly servile out of guilt, saying, "I'm sorry I couldn't give birth to a healthy baby." They did not feel jealous. When they thought they were there, in turn, they did not look down on them; they cared for them but still admired them.

That family member lost Kyrie a few months after discovering the tumor in her brain.

When coming to visit her, Kyrie lost her entire family instantly in a head-on collision with a truck driven by a drunk driver.

As mentioned above, the Fujo family is wealthy, and in this fatal accident, the Fujo family was absolutely not at fault.

Moreover, although the Fujo family had distant relatives, this relative was also a good person.

It would have been easier to snatch Kyrie's huge fortune than to twist a baby's arm, but she did not touch her property; she found a lawyer and a tax accountant to handle the procedures, and she was hospitalized. You made my life easier.

However, although his relative was undoubtedly a good person, he had no affection for Kyrie.

Not only had he never seen her before, but he only learned of the existence of a relative named Fujo after the entire Fujo family was wiped out, so there was no reason to blame him.

It can be said that the relatives were friendly enough to Kyrie.

Even if they only came to visit her to handle some property-related procedures, and even if they never came to visit again after finishing the procedures, it was not a matter of being heartless.

The nurse thought this was the reason Kyrie was at a dead end, because she could not blame anyone.

The truck driver who took her family away also died; if that family member had handed over all the property to Kyrie as a consolation prize with tears in their eyes and been forced to kneel on the floor of the ward, he would have already been kind, and the mentally handicapped Kyrie could not blame him; I could not do it.

Likewise, I am not the kind of selfish person who would ask a relative who handles all the tedious legal procedures for me to visit me just because I am lonely.

Besides that, she is introverted, passive, and reserved.

For Kyrie, who only knew the white prison of the hospital and the narrow cage of the ward, and who had no one to talk to or be spoiled by other than her family, losing her family meant losing the pipeline connecting the outside world to her own. I also lost the place to vent my fear of the disease I carry.

In a boring world where nothing can be obtained, without any stimulation, while eating the money left by her family and knowing that she will die soon, with people around her in good health, and having connections other than my family, as well as friends and acquaintances, I cannot imagine what it would be like to live to that moment.

Since she herself was not at fault, Kyrie naturally did not have enough strength to endure a life that was even worse than a death row cell.

The nurse thought this was the reason Kyrie jumped.

One day, without any warning, Kyrie jumped from the ward on the top floor of the hospital, laughing happily and saying that she would know when her family came.

But Kyrie did not die. I could not leave my family.

Not to mention the bones of her limbs and ribs, her spine was also partially crushed to the point of paralysis, but because of the hospital's location, he was able to perform emergency surgery quickly, so he was able to save her life.

Then Kyrie would not wake up.

The reason for not regaining consciousness is unknown.

Neither the appearance nor the X-rays showed any wounds on his head, but Kyrie's brain tumor was the reason for his life expectancy, so thinking deeply about it might be meaningless.

The nurse thought, perhaps he just did not want to wake up.

When I wake up, no one is there. Just waiting for death.

The only doctors and nurses who had a relationship with her, taking advantage of Kyrie's silence and not saying any selfish words, you did not realize its existence at all, so you did not think of anything else.

Because of this, due to her multiple surgeries and the recurrence of her illness, her already weak heart had reached its limit, and her heartbeat was getting smaller and smaller.

I also felt sad for her, as she could only heal her body, let alone her heart. I wanted to see Kyrie die.

I thought this was the only salvation I could offer; although I had been taking care of Kyrie since I was a rookie, I could do nothing. Looking down at Kyrie, while listening to the long tone of the electrocardiogram that seemed to stop at any moment.

I thought I was the only one, I thought I could do nothing more, so I was alone, doing nothing, just watching.

Until the door of that ward, which no one except doctors and nurses should visit, opened.

"!?... Who?"

Turning back, the nurse asked suspiciously.

The person who came in was probably an injured person, looking a little younger than Kyrie. Neither the doctor nor the nurse took care of her like him. Of course, they were not even the relatives managing Kyrie's property.

Honestly, this is the first stranger I have ever seen.

If you have seen him once, you will know immediately. Never forget and remember.

She is a rare beauty, with a face that can be called exquisite, and a mysterious appearance that makes it impossible to tell whether she is a child or an adult, let alone whether she is male or female.

He was wearing a simple T-shirt and casual pants, but his right hand was in a cast, and his skin was covered with bandages and casts, so I did not think he was a suspicious person. I thought I was just an ordinary patient in this hospital.

However, from Kyrie's environment, I can say with certainty that no one would come to see her. Because it is not there, it is over now.

So, the nurse thought it was a patient brought in by mistake, or someone who came in by misunderstanding, or just for fun, and wanted to ask them to leave, but the suddenly appearing injured person ignored the nurse, walked forward, and said with a faint smile,

"Nice to meet you."

The voice was also a gender-neutral voice, matching her appearance, but with an overly soft smile on the nurse's face, she vaguely concluded that the other party was a woman.

And with that line, it was confirmed that the other party was not an acquaintance of Kyrie.

I don't think I was told. Because she immediately continued to speak.

"I'm glad I made it in time... I've come to see you. Kyrie Fujo."

The gentle smile twisted slightly.

Sure enough, she was smiling so hard she was about to cry, as if relieved that she had arrived in time, yet also as if regretting that the remaining time was too short.

The nurse thought this girl might be much younger than she had imagined. What a childish smile that was.

The young girl was smiling so hard she was on the verge of tears, slipped past the nurse, and walked to the side of Kirie's bed.

I cannot stop it.

The other party was saying strange things; I couldn't say this when I entered the room, but at this moment I calmly decided that even if I treated him as a suspicious person, I would not complain, but the nurse remained silent. Watching.

Although I thought it was impossible, I had also anticipated it.

The black-haired girl with a plaster cast looked down at Kirie's face and continued speaking with a smile that was about to break into tears.

"... I'm sorry, I'm late. I should have told Mr. Biscuit from the beginning that you were still alive."

"... You can hate me. If I hadn't cut you off, if I had truly wanted to help you by any means possible, I would have arrived there sooner, but I cut you off for my own sake."

"I wanted to help myself, not you."

Saying things that made no sense at all.

Lovingly stroking Kirie's hollow cheek where the skin and flesh had been shaved away, she wound her fingers through her jet-black, lustrous hair, which was the only part not eroded by disease. Admitting mistakes and apologizing.

"The person I wanted to help was me. Not you. Everything I did was for self-satisfaction... so you don't have to feel guilty."

"It is natural that I keep my promise. I made you happy again and again, so that is all I am going to do."

The girl exchanged a "promise" with the still-sleeping Kirie, who was in a state where everything would soon end, not only was she already dead, but her little finger was also stuck in her life.

"—I remember you. A person named Fujie Kirie."

"I cannot guarantee that I will definitely be able to visit your grave, so I cannot make any promises, but every year on this day, I will mourn for you. I only know your name, so I cannot call you a friend, but I will remember you forever. I will always remember that he is someone I wanted to be friends with."

The electrocardiogram raised its volume.

The interval between the electrocardiogram waves, which had been long enough to stop at any time, narrowed.

Hearing this reaction, the nurse, who had been staring blankly at the young girl, widened her eyes and called out Kirie's name.

My eyelids twitched and moved, albeit slightly. That day, Kirie didn't even enter REM sleep after jumping, but just seeing her eyeballs move under her eyelids was a Miracle, bringing tears to the nurses' eyes.

But the Miracle did not end there.

The eyelids and the eyelashes bordering them fluttered. And the eyelids slowly, slowly lifted.

I could not open them.

However, through the gap in the eyelids, black eyes could be seen, and the eyes also slowly moved and captured.

Kirie must have seen the figure of a girl, not the nurse, a girl who remembered her and promised not to forget.

Tears spilled from the cracks in my eyelids.

Just like the eyelids, the lips trembled and opened.

But not a single word could be spoken. Her sickly vocal cords could barely squeeze out a hoarse sound.

Nevertheless, Kirie took a deep breath, trying to convey some information.

And spat it out.

... with life.

Exhausting her final life like a Burning candle, expressing the last brilliance she could produce, Kyrie Fujo died like a flower.

Not a single word was spoken.

All I know is that she passed away peacefully and contentedly.

Because of her, Kirie was smiling.

Kirie did not express anything in words, but chose to smile. I cried and smiled.

Because she died smiling, just like when she had a family.

So Sora also smiled and sent him off.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

After seeing Kirie at the end of her life, Sora quickly left the ward when the nurse went to call the doctor, and then left the hospital.

Then, I crossed my arms at the hospital entrance, raised one hand slightly, and called out to the grumpy Biscuit.

Biscuit raised her head and snorted again, then walked away quickly before Sora could come to her side.

I asked as I walked, without even turning around.

"... Did you make it in time?"

"Yes. It was at the last minute. Thank you, Mr. Biscuit."

Biscuit opened her mouth to respond to Sora's answer, but in the end, she couldn't think of anything, so she had to answer "... Yes."

I could not ask what the meaning of what they had done was.

He concluded that the possibility of Biscuit being low was true.

Kirie did not want to fall and hurt the other party, not just because she was originally a Nen Ability user, nor was it Dead Nen... it was close to Dead Nen, but she was definitely alive, because he was an ability user without a "self-death" bonus, so he was inexperienced in incarnation, and could not even touch a living person, but he could not even interfere with an opponent wearing an aura.

So, as long as Biscuit was in a state of "Absolute" concealment, it was too easy for him to save him.

I could hear from her who she was, and why she kept crashing to her death while she was still alive.

... Because it was solved so easily, this story leaves a bad aftertaste.

Even Kirie herself did not know she was still alive. Although she shouldn't have died, the reason she fell to the ground and died was also because she thought she had died just like that.

And although I feel bad, I guess it was a Nen Ability that was selfish to that extent. I guess it existed.

Bisque showed others Kirie's self-death in the crash repeating over and over again, without Malice, even if he was pushed down and killed, without even discovering the fact that he was "pushed down." I thought I was repeating myself because I wanted someone to know the truth, because it was treated as an accident or suicide.

But the truth was completely different. Kirie absolutely jumped down voluntarily.

Recalling the reason, Biscuit clicked her tongue and muttered.

"... From beginning to end, there was truly not a shred of Malice; it was just too annoying."

"Fine, if you say you had the courage to jump, then you should have shouted 'loneliness' and 'don't forget' before that."

Hearing Biscuit mutter this, Sora, standing beside her, smiled bitterly and agreed.

Just as Sora said.

Although Kyrie Fujo jumped of her own volition, her motivation was completely different from what the doctors and nurses watching over her had guessed.

Kyrie was right; she could not endure loneliness, but she also did not want to desperately seek out her parents.

Considering her motivation, Kyrie might not believe in life after death.

Kyrie was very lonely. I am afraid of death, but I am tired of a life where I do not know when I will die.

These might be true, but they were not the real motivation for the Throw. These things helped me decide to Throw myself.

Kyrie said.

After being caught by Biscuit, for the first time, she did not believe she had already fallen to her death. When she realized she had been saved, when Sora asked, "Why did you jump?" I apologized, apologizing sincerely. I caused trouble for many people, but I could not give up, repeating it over and over again.

"... Don't forget, what I wanted.

I want someone to not forget that I am... a human named Kyrie Fujo... that I was in this world."

Both Bisque and Sora thought that Kyrie possessed those who could recognize her precisely because she had something to complain about, and showing her death over and over again was, in itself, for the sake of showing off.

There was no Malice. However, I also know how much it hurts the other person's heart to repeatedly show them how to die a terrible death.

Even so, Kyrie could not stand it.

I could not bear to die, to disappear like a ghost that never existed from the start, not remembered in the heart by anyone, for better or for worse.

And so... she jumped.

Instead of quietly waiting for a predetermined death in a hospital ward where only doctors and nurses would notice, she chose to die in a terrible, shocking, and violent way so that as many people as possible could vividly remember her.

If she really died here, perhaps she could sink her soul into the Abyss where it was supposed to return, without having to worry about her own death. This ability must have been born because she lost any ending other than the "death of a past life." — "Establishing harmony," this was what she feared most, because she could not do it.

"Truly... a terrible conceit."

Biscuit cursed again in a tone of disgust. Facing this insult, Sora asked back.

"Is it about student Kyrie? Or about me?"

"Both. You idiot."

Biscuit answered Sora's question immediately. Just like that, he angrily complained about the inconvenience caused by the selfishness of Kyrie and Sora.

"After committing suicide because you didn't want to be forgotten, the stupid living spirit of the soul aura carved trauma into people who just looked shocking, why didn't you help them?

For that living spirit's opponent, 'I won't forget, I will remember' would have been enough, but I ended up finding a way to figure out where the main body was... living in a neighboring country is fine, but I'm really sick of people being good to me."

Admittedly, Kyrie did not have any Malice, but what she did was no different from an evil spirit, still struggling.

I tried to help Kyrie.

He appealed that he would not only tell the living spirit but also tell the main body directly that he would not forget.

I know I have no right to complain after hearing that complaint, but even so, how will I explain to the Hunter Association that I was told to monitor not only Kyrie but also the people at the hospital? Or, when I think about that difficulty, I want to complain.

Regardless of whether he understood Bisque's mood, Sora smiled bitterly and gently avoided Bisque's complaint.

"Sorry, we deeply apologize for the inconvenience caused.

However, in the end, Mr. Bisque took over the crash accident, and when I thought I hadn't done anything, I really wanted to visit him at least once.... If the resolution was delayed because I didn't say anything to Mr. Biscuit, I want to do something in exchange for atonement."

"Where is the need for you to atone!?"

Biscuit gave a light kick to Sora's leg, making an annoyed sound as if apologizing not only to Sora but also to Kyrie.

"I know you are a living spirit, but if you don't know that you are repeatedly jumping for this reason, and your main body will really die soon, then it's not a bad thing to keep silent.... First of all. I want you to tell me, but that's just the conclusion."

Biscuit told him it wasn't bad, although he wasn't honest, as if reminding him over and over again.

However, Sora's answer was only a faint, half-hearted "... Yes."

"... But I want to help."

Sora raised his head, tears not flowing, but spilling out.

The fragile fact that he did not want to give up what he had discarded spilled over.

"At first, I thought student Kyrie was still alive. So I pulled student Bisque's arm to keep her from being crushed to death by student Kyrie... but in my mind, I had a thought.

I could have chosen to push student Biscuit away instead of pulling her, or if I could have been a cushion under her, then student Kyrie might have been saved, but I had no choice. The situation wasn't that desperate, even if I wanted to, I couldn't choose, but I chose the easier one.

The quick choice was to put myself first."

"... What's wrong with that? Isn't that a matter of course?"

Biscuit interrupted Sora's complaints and remorse about what he should have done but didn't.

If it is not a sin, then cut off Sora's guilt and throw it away.

"I'm worried it will become the norm."

However, no matter how much his guilt hurt him, no matter how much Biscuit tried to cut him off, Sora held on tight and would not let go.

"I know. My hands are not big enough, nor long enough, to protect everything. I know I cannot protect what I truly want to protect unless I cut them off.

But... I stepped on the brakes too much because I didn't want to die. I was so dangerous that I couldn't follow the most important teachings you taught me about living as a human.

... I'm scared. I don't just want to die, I want to live, but I mistook the important things about living for things that don't need to die, I'm scared.

... I'm scared. Biscuit, I'm scared. It's terrible and unbearable. I'm scared to see Kurapika, I want to see him so much, because I still miss him very much.... Scared.

I have no confidence in myself right now. I, who kill because I don't want to die, just don't want to die, so I can't help but be afraid that I will kill 'Sora' with my own hands."

He complained that he was afraid of getting rid of his guilt.

I am afraid and scared of actions based on the very natural survival instinct of prioritizing oneself.

I cannot say it is an exaggeration.

Because Biscuit saw the obvious, the obvious thing everyone should have, was losing control, eroding the humanity everyone should naturally possess.

"So... Mr. Biscuit. I must become stronger."

I look at the sky; it is because of the streetlights that I can barely see the starry night sky.

Just like the sky directly above, there should be no stars, but the light from an unknown source never Extinguishes, and deep blue eyes stare at Biscuit as she speaks.

This is not about what you want to become or what you want to do, but how you want to live.

Sora declares that this is just a schedule, not a wish.

"I want to become someone like Kirito who can easily help those who have fallen. If I remain weak, I might be able to live wisely without getting hurt, but that wisdom comes from those who saved me. I believe I will eat whatever Kurapika gives me."

So, please, Mr. Biscuit. Teach me how to live in this world... "Ten."

Once again, I hope.

The art of living. The art of becoming strong. He asks Biscuit to teach him "just in case."

Responding to this request, Biscuit asks back with a reluctant expression.

"... If I refuse, what will you do?"

"Biscuit-san, do you know what it feels like to pray for rain?"

Answering Biscuit's question, Sora replies with a smile. If heard from the side, it is a difficult answer to understand, but for better or worse, Biscuit knows what "a beggar who will definitely make it rain" means, so he understands Sora's meaning at once. Finished.

That is why I twist my face unnecessarily.

"... Will you keep following me until I agree to you?"

Facing Bisque's reluctant, unwilling rebuttal, as if confirming or giving up, Sora continues to smile and gives him a thumbs up.

Saying it will definitely rain means "continue the rain-making ritual until it rains."

Although he says absurd things, even knowing he cannot reach Kirito when he falls, he does not take a break and continues to struggle to catch up. I can imagine that I would hate being by his side.

Thus, Biscuit lets out a sigh with the momentum of exhausting all the air in her lungs.

I gave up on this helpless, broken, foolish, young, weak child who tries to be stronger than anyone else.

... In the end, I didn't say "help me," so I gave up "for now."

"... You said it, I won't let you fail."

She is so stubborn that if she had just said "help me," she would have told me. I admit I lost this time, then move on to the next game.

It is nothing more than hatred, not a metaphor, it is serious madness, an element I do not want to get involved in because it has a mysterious ability that makes me feel that even Netero cannot compete with me. Choose to associate with someone you can say you have no choice but to associate with.

Regardless of whether he is involved or not, Bisque harbors a sense of guilt that he will never forget. If this guilt tortures me in an instant, rather than making my guilt worse by not participating, I want to reduce it by participating.

This is why Biscuit gave up on various things and decided to get involved.

I do not know the hope and anxiety Sora speaks of.

I do not know, but it is natural that I will eventually support Sora's wish.

If I can become stronger, I can protect as many people as possible. Because the injuries that should have been caused will be reduced by one point.

Because I feel it is better for Biscuit to choose to save everyone rather than putting herself first and cutting off others to save only herself.

Because it is natural.

So it is just a matter of how things turn out.

Sora smiles at Biscuit's blunt words.

Without begging, he still lines up to buy biscuits, saying with a smile.

"It's okay, Biscuit-san's true identity is more terrifying than that old man who was my former teacher, but I already know that compared to that old man, she is at the Goddess level."

Being killed 100 times in 10 times, being forced to race against time with dogs and giant Spiders that exist to destroy humanity, is a vicious black artificial spirit obsessed with magical girls. Sacrifice toys, I won't run away unless you give up on me!!"

"Either scold me or praise me!!"

"As for that damn old man, I am purely a victim, I went to hit him after the first round!!"

As usual, after saying extremely rude and embarrassing compliments at the same time, Sora reveals that he is overwhelmed by anger due to the insulting words, he feels sympathy, with a very good smile on his face.

When the attack started, when he was hit by an explosive attack, his claim that he was a pure victim was not convincing, but when the sunny smile turned to refute, Biscuit was refuted, and I could no longer object.

From this exchange alone, Biscuit immediately regretted it, saying: "Still, don't get involved with this guy." Paddy.

"Well, so you're welcome. Master."

"Biscuit really likes Sora, doesn't she?"

"... Hmm?"

After Biscuit's story is finished, Gon is the first to speak, with a look of disgust.

Killua notices that the secondary voice of that sound is not "What are you talking about?" I know I won't.

And Killua doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to be beaten for looking embarrassed. Or rather, I even think that if someone doesn't understand, the level I want to reach is like this.

"Biscuit, you have been worried about Sora from beginning to end."

Just as Killua thought, Gon tilts his head as if he doesn't understand Biscuit's reaction, and without hesitation, pokes Biscuit right in the middle of where she doesn't want to be poked.

Killua thinks that Biscuit might not have told him everything that happened when she and Sora met.

I didn't specifically talk about Sora's complaints. He said he was sure Sora was a lunatic, but he didn't explain why.

I don't know if it's because she is worried about them or doesn't want to say it, although she didn't say so, I can still understand.

Biscuit is not very honest, but she has been worried about Sora from the beginning, so she hasn't been hurt a little bit, even if he is a bad person, even if he is injured, she still continues to hold Sora and leave. The place where she is about to get lost. I only know what you gave me.

That is why, unlike the dishonest Killua, Gon laughs happily and speaks frankly.

"After breaking up with Kurapika, I am really happy that Bisque met Sora and took care of Sora. If it weren't for Bisque, Sora might not have become the Sora he is now. Sora doesn't want to either become a Sora who didn't die, or, in order to protect what Sora wants to protect, I will be hurt more than I am now, becoming a Sora that only I want to protect."

Besides, the reason why Sora, who should have been monitored by the Association, can walk so freely is because Bisque said to Chairman Netero "Sora is fine," right?

... So, soup. Thank you. Thank you for knowing Sora. Thank you for your help. Thank you very much for letting Sora be your disciple, protecting Sora and what Sora wants to protect!!"

Even Biscuit cannot turn her back on the too-straightforward Gon.

"Associating with that idiot is a rotten relationship, it's a rotten relationship!! I had no intention of helping or taking care of you, but I was the only one involved from the beginning, and the Association and the Chairman imposed everything on me." The relationship continues. It just continues!"

If not, why am I a woman, no matter how good-looking I am, I can't do proper Training, because my body is different, I am very good at remembering things, I am not worthy of training disciples..."

Gon continued to mumble in denial of Gon's own words, but his words lacked persuasiveness; when Biscuit discovered Killua there, she struck Killua with an uppercut.

Biscuit thought, watching Killua blast himself away and crash in a clean arc.

(... As expected, a "meteor" not worth polishing.)

Gon is a diamond. Killua is a Sapphire.

The two children before her eyes were indeed crudely made gems, but Sora was different. She was not a gem.

No polishing needed. Even without it, she would shine. To Biscuit, a meteor that cuts and burns itself while streaking across, dyeing the pitch-black sky in brilliant light, is Sora.

As if it wouldn't be worth it otherwise. A foolish disciple, wanting to shave herself down like this, ending up burning until nothing was left.

I cursed that foolish disciple in my heart.

Do not say it out loud. The truth is, I am unwilling to admit it, so I was not as stubborn as that day when I waited for you to say "help me."

To Biscuit, that stubborn retaliation of giving up and admitting defeat that day was whether that idiot who only knew how to run would stop without this reprimand.

So do not say it out loud to scold her.

(... Even the Stone here can clean itself up, so please do not burn yourself, do not be in such a rush.

... Even if you are not a meteor, perhaps you can shine just as you are.)

The identity of the meteor does not change; it burns itself, and what streaks across is a Stone.

But that Stone might be a gem. Just like the Blue Planet, this is the reason Biscuit is here now.

Even if you do not burn yourself, even if you collapse, that Stone has value within itself.

Although I think this, I cannot say it; even if someone thinks I am an idiot, even if I say this, I feel guilty for not stopping the running.

Thus, without another word, I continued to be stubborn.

"So painful! What on earth are you doing!!"

"Who is an old hag, who is that! The way you look when you're angry is really like Sora!!"

"Ah, that is for sure. Killua, for some reason, you are as infuriating as Sora when you talk."

"You want me to go to Gon!? I'm not that stupid!!"

Preparing to catch it before it burns out, Biscuit saw through the life of the idiot apprentice.

Together with those who are equally fascinated by the radiance of the meteor, but believe that even if one is not a meteor, one still has value.

Now, speaking only of the meteor that brings them Together, it is noisy yet calm.

The story of the gem master and apprentice among the people ends here.

The next chapter is a continuation of the story, with strong serious elements, so the entire chapter is almost a comedy of Sora's suffering.