Chapter 131: Victim

That summer.

Tomori no longer remembers why he went home first.

Perhaps because you wanted to watch TV, or you were tired of living in the countryside, or something of the sort.

I do not know why my brother did not return with me.

First of all, my older brother might not even remember that about ten years ago, he was sent to the countryside to stay with his mother for about a week along with his siblings.

Even if they remembered, it should have faded quite a bit and become blurry.

Because on the day I returned from Tomori a day late, something happened that could not be compared to the week spent in the countryside.

The fact that the grandfather he lived with had passed away would cover over the boring and ordinary daily life before that.

I do not know my brother.

In my family, everyone except me is a murderer.

Say that my older sister is a murderer.

What happened that summer.

Starting from that summer, I do not know what my older sister was possessed by, nor do I know what Tomori was chasing.

... That is something I hate and cannot endure.

"!?... Scarlet... eyes...?"

Looking at Kurapika's eyes, Neon realized what kind of eyes they were, and a hoarse sound escaped her throat.

Four months ago, he escaped from the guards protecting him, his fortune-telling ability was stolen, he obtained it for a heavy price, and he thought about what he wanted to do.

I realized that the reason for making me aware of my own ugliness was not a fake or an eyeball soaked in formalin, but that it existed in a living state.

The reason I lost blood was not because I knew Kurapika hated me, I understood the reason for that hatred, and I was afraid he would take revenge on me.

It was just that she saw bright red eyes, not specimens soaked in formalin; that day, her "pretty" that she was so proud of finally turned into "just pretty." I am not a thing, but a part of a person who was originally still alive; because I faced the fear of what I had done again, I realized my face had turned pale, and I could not speak. The sound of the heartbeat spoke vividly in words.

But Neon was not a garden, and she still thought her hatred was not enough to avenge her.

As proof, Neon widened her eyes, unable to look away from his scarlet eyes, and asked about Kurapika's eyes with a hoarse voice.

"... Kurapika... so... so... you have always... held a grudge against me?... You became my Bodyguard... to take revenge on me?"

He heard Kurapika's words correctly.

He did not change or explain the current situation to suit himself, but perceived reality with his own true imagination.

He understood that he could not be forgiven.

To Senritsu, his Conscience would only make Neon and Kurapika feel pain.

The better Neon's temperament was, the better Kurapika's temperament was as well.

Even if the most sinful person lives without even recognizing their own sins, but distorted by the environment and the people around them, upgraded to an offender, Neon, without a doubt, should have been the sinful Kurapika; saying it is painful is not enough. The victim continues to be hurt.

I have always thought so.

But now Neon is the same, yet Kurapika is different.

In his heartbeat, without hesitation, "I want to forgive, but I cannot forgive."

On the contrary, I cannot see any hatred toward Neon.

As if to affirm the state of mind of Kurapika that Senritsu heard and read, he still answered Neon's question coldly.

"... I never had any intention of revenge from the beginning.

... I held a grudge. However, what I hold for you now is not resentment and hatred... disappointment and resentment..."

"... Disappointment?"

Kurapika, with red eyes, said bluntly: "To me, you will always be the perpetrator." But Kurapika did not seek revenge, but denied resentment and hatred.

It may also be because he has a Conscience that he cannot believe Kurapika's words. Give it back to me.

I certainly cannot understand.

Resentment is natural, but disappointment is incomprehensible. The relics of his clansmen, the witness to a tragic massacre, the luxury items he cherished, the hope that gave him the hope he lost... he could not understand, because his understanding of the crime was correct.

However, Kurapika sighed deeply and said, perhaps he still does not know what he is disappointed about, which is another reason for his disappointment.

"... You... do not have the taste or preference for appreciating things like human bodies at all... From the day I thought so, I thought you would atone for the 'sin' I committed... I anticipated it.

... But... even if you understand your 'sin', you did not make amends. That is why I have always been disappointed... resentful... hated it."

Neon shook her head, pointed out that she did not make amends, and bit her lip while looking down.

Just as Kurapika said, although Neon knew the horror of her hobby of "collecting human bodies," she did not make any amends.

Most of the collection was sold, but the collection would be returned to the families of the deceased, and if the identity was unknown, it would be buried in a public cemetery; it was not the respect I let go of.

I just sold it as a collection like before, and then handed it over to a Human Body Collector I knew and hated.

What Neon did was not atonement; she just got rid of it because she did not want to see it.

Neon faced the fact that she still trampled on the dignity of the victims and could not even say "I'm sorry."

Neon understood that such words could not make amends.

Neon understood that such words would irritate others' nerves.

Indeed, she had no thoughts, but that was because she was raised in an overprotective box. It is a product of the environment, not stupidity without room for improvement and education.

Taken as a whole, there was nothing good or bad about her sensibility and mental capacity; she was just an ordinary girl.

This is why even if Kurapika pointed out that she did not make amends, Neon could not apologize.

Because Neon is an "ordinary girl," she felt guilty toward Kurapika, and because she understood her own sins, she...

"... But... the hatred has disappeared... I understand why you did not make amends..."

Contrary to the speechless Neon, Kurapika, who was still in a state of Heavy injury, continued to speak slowly and intermittently, but despite that.

He was not condemning, nor was he exaggerating, but was talking to a poor student, as if biting into it.

"You know what you have done, the horror of the 'Human Body Collection', you feel guilty about yourself, and you want to atone for your sins."

... But at the same time... the more guilty I feel, the more guilty I feel. You have neither the virtue nor the strength to compensate by suppressing these thoughts, and you are just an ordinary person, so you cannot compensate.

..."Am I the only one at fault? Is there no sense of being a victim?"

This point of Kurapika's made Neon's heart jump violently.

It was the same heartbeat as when Squala, acting as Neon's Bodyguard in the interview, was struck by Kurapika's chains and played when he proved he was an "intruder" in the ability test.

That was the heartbeat of the moment I was struck by the stars.

When Tomori was keeping a record, Tomori's grandfather was bedridden.

Tomori, his grandfather, had poor health and weak heart and lungs when he was young, and could not even speak; to Tomori, he was just an existence.

Father and mother treated Tomori and his older brother almost as if they were taking care of his grandfather, but since his older brother understood his parents' situation, it was natural for young Tomori to treat him that way. So there was no dissatisfaction. With siblings.

Tomori had no reason to love his grandfather, but he had no reason to dislike him.

But to her parents, her grandfather was nothing more than a burden.

Even though I had a young child, an elderly person in need of nursing was nothing more than a mental, physical, and financial burden.

So I think it was all premeditated from the beginning.

Tomori did not know if leaving the children in the countryside with their mother for a week was his conscience as a parent, or just to protect himself. I don't even want to think about it.

After all, Tomori knew very well that even if it was conscience at the beginning, in the end, it was nothing more than self-preservation.

As a parent, as a person, she had turned her Conscience into a form of self-protection.

Don't think.

I think I shouldn't have come home a day early, or noticed the noise in my grandfather's room.

I cannot see hollow dreams, fantasizing about a past that cannot be changed.

"Hey, Dad. Grandpa..."

One day, only one day earlier than planned, only Tomori returned home from the countryside and found one.

When Tomori went to tell his father about this, he found his grandfather writhing on the nursing bed like a dying caterpillar, possibly full of phlegm, his breathing very thin.

But, my father... my father, who should have been my grandfather's biological son...

"This is a normal thing, leave it alone."

Saying this, he grabbed Tomori by the shoulder and pushed him away from his grandfather's room.

"Dad is resting today too, let's be Together forever."

I kept Tomori away from his grandfather's room.

I stayed with Tomori all the time, not letting her go anywhere, nor touching her Mobile Phone.

Not only the father, but the mother also kept looking at Tomori with a flat face like a Noh mask.

I watched for a long time.

Then, the next day, seeing my grandfather awkwardly curled up on the bed, my parents changed their temper and remembered to call an ambulance.

Although they were anxious, their voices were somewhat flustered, but I thought their communication was as smooth as watching a play.

I know what your parents did.

No, my parents did nothing. Just like Tomori.

Doing nothing. I understand I "did nothing."

I did nothing for my grandfather, who might have died from a small cold.

Deliberate murder.

I am an accomplice to it.

To my parents, after Tomori returned home a day early, something happened that did not count as a failure.

I shouldn't have said anything. I should have done nothing. Just like those summers.

At that time, Tomori was only 5 years old, a trivial matter to adults, but for a child, it would naturally cover their memories and make them forget. I made the worst move.

"Do you have anything to hide, Tomori? Dad doesn't. So, Tomori, we must work moderately hard."

From that day on, that summer day, my parents became overprotective of Tomori.

My brother felt that it was because I hadn't been able to pay attention to him until now, or that I was an only daughter.

Not letting Tomori go out alone, asking in detail what he talked about with friends and teachers at kindergarten and school, spending the day without him leaving his father's study. I didn't doubt it, because I believed everything was overprotected because I was a girl.

My brother didn't know about the subjectless conversation that happened in that study.

The kind brother didn't know that his parents kept saying to his sister: "You are also an accomplice."

Just like that, the parents convinced Tomori that they hadn't told anyone about this, and they knew their daughter was also an accomplice. The ogre falling into Pitch Darkness, I told my daughter again and convinced her... I kept doing this repeatedly for nearly 10 years.

When did my parents realize that I had a deeper impression of my daughter that summer, because I told her over and over again, and I didn't let her go out and touch things that would cover her memories? Tomori didn't know when it was.

I don't want to know. I'm afraid that I became an accomplice privately, and I'm afraid that my daughter would accidentally leak it from my mouth, and I don't want to know my parents' suspicions about me.

At home, Tomori was watched by his parents' suspicions, and even at school, where he could only stay away from his parents, he couldn't rest.

Because when I saw my friends, I remembered how innocent my classmates were, even though I didn't want to do that.

My home, my parents, I am not normal.

Just as his parents told him that he was an accomplice, that he was a murderer, when he grew up and realized the severity of what he had done, Tomori's growing guilt would overwhelm him, and the accumulated pressure might lead to an Explosion. Even without knowing the two words "Nen Ability", Tomori almost guessed correctly, saying that what he got was his own "power", which turned into energy from that kind of pressure.

A "bad bug" attached to his younger brother, wanting to lose his temper at his younger brother's lover, opening his hand to hit him, but ending up at a loss, breaking his cervical spine and killing him, only then did I come to my senses.

Tomori was young enough to think that his physical strength and power that clearly didn't match his body were supernatural, but he called it "power given by God", "God chose me", "I am I didn't expect to develop in the direction of "a special existence chosen by God".

If you think so, if it's true, if God wants to save Tomori, then instead of using this power that can only be used for violence, why not just make that summer disappear? I didn't think "power" was salvation, because it was good.

I don't believe this is a gift from God.

Therefore, Tomori thought, "The Devil has possessed me."

I think this idea is the most meaningful.

Most importantly, it is convenient.

If I were possessed by a Demon, I would kill my brother's lover—I know he is not at fault—and I would kill my parents, who were so paranoid they wouldn't even let me go to school. It is easy for people to think a Devil made me do all this, so as not to suspect my brother and me.

Because I was possessed by a Devil, because I was manipulated by a Devil, I am not at fault.

The same excuse calls Sora a "beast in the form of a Mower."

Because I am a beast, I cannot judge myself by human morality.

I know this is just an excuse to say I am not responsible, because I was possessed by a Demon.

I know. I really know everything.

But now Tomori can no longer stop himself.

Tomori, "possessed by a Demon," runs across the roof of a building, dodging the police pursuit.

Worried that the "thing" is neither the police car chasing me nor the "Devil" stuck to my back, I turn around several times, not even stopping while walking.

I just head straight and desperately demand it.

The prey I want to kill very, very much.

Tomori runs toward his jealous brother like a beast; he is lonely, innocent, and happy.

... Even so, that is truly not the "goal" but the "means," so Tomori continues to look away.

My heart is beating violently; it must be the sound of being struck by the stars.

But her heartbeat does not play the melody of a "liar."

In fact, the heartbeat does not slowly calm down, but accelerates.

"... Victim... consciousness?... Toward Mr. Kurapika... I seem to have no reflection at all!?"

Neon clenches her hands, bites her lip in frustration, and yells at Kurapika.

A child's hysteria reminds me of when she still had her ability four months ago.

He spits out words of self-defense; he has not reformed, and should not say them to the victim.

Judging from the voice from the bottom of the heart, it is a complete mess.

"It's terrible, even if I'm sorry, you won't forgive me!!"

... It should be, but Senritsu does not think so.

Neon's heartbeat is, of course, "anger," but it is a fact that she is furious because she was caught off guard, yet Neon's words do not sound like self-defense.

That is because Senritsu is even able to read the true feelings Hidden in his angry heartbeat.

Neon's anger is a bluff.

When Kurapika pokes her, what she feels is not anger, but fear.

Neon's crying seems to be nothing more than a plea: "Stop stepping on me."

However, Senritsu does not know what Neon is afraid of, nor Kurapika's point of view... her own "victim consciousness." Senritsu only guesses the intent from the other's heartbeat and does not read her own heart.

Senritsu does not know what Neon is afraid of.

"... Reflecting and admitting one's own sins is not contradictory to a victim mentality."

I don't know why Kurapika can continue to speak indifferently, as if not offended by Neon's words.

I believe he is also aware of this. Neon's anger is a bluff, and she is afraid of something; he says it because he knows more than Senritsu does.

Those words... Kurapika follows behind Neon, and instead of rebuking his words, "... No, stop... shut up... shut up!!" I don't know what is so scary.

I don't know how he can look at that girl who is crying and begging him with deep red eyes like Hell Fire.

"... Your victimization is not without reason. It is legitimate... That is why I want to forgive you."

"... No... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I will apologize... I will do anything... so... don't do this!!"

Neon, as if to cover up Kurapika's words, covers her own ears and single-mindedly rejects his words.

Seeing this, Kurapika lies down and takes a deep breath.

His sigh betrays his disappointment.

Kurapika sympathizes with Neon. I think she is a "victim." That is why I want to forgive you. I thought I would forgive her.

However, although Neon is a victim, Kurapika's perpetrator will never change.

No matter how small, without Malice, even if it is because she is a victim, she is Kurapika's perpetrator; that day Kurapika treated his fellow clansmen's eyes as "things," even if they were fake.

Kurapika still has not forgiven her. I have no reason to forgive you.

That is why he points this out without mercy.

"So much... you don't want to admit that you are a 'victim'."

Hearing Kurapika's "answer," Senritsu raises her voice in confusion: "Huh?"

Neon cannot say "no" or "stop," motionless, as if time has stopped. I cannot move.

I cannot say anything. To her, this sentence is like a blade, straight to her throat. A bad argument could be fatal.

However, although Neon's self-defense is clever, it does not win him any time.

I push against the blade stabbing toward me.

Kurapika does not explain to Senritsu, but gives Neon the finishing touch of an answer.

"... The reason she doesn't admit she is a victim is not because she wants to tell me 'even if she is very regretful.' Yes."

This might be right. If you admit you are a victim, you paradoxically admit that you were not loved by your father or the people around you."

When he jumps over the gate, the alarm sounds, loud and stinging his ears, but Tomori ignores it and runs past.

I don't know where my brother is, but because I don't know, I climb the Wall, break the window, and break into the faculty office by the shortest distance.

I thought that even if my brother wasn't there, someone would know where he was.

Seeing Tomori suddenly burst into the alma mater's faculty office, the teachers who had come to school during winter break for club activities and maintenance stared at Tomori with wide eyes.

No one could understand the current situation. No wonder. It was absurd for a student who had attended this school for about a year, whose older brother had become a teacher after graduating and appeared often, to even dream of smashing it with a Dagger, and to burst into it with arms intact.

That is why... I couldn't even scream, everyone looked at me with their mouths half-open, their faces seeming to say "I can't believe it" and "I don't understand."

Because they couldn't believe it, because they couldn't understand it, the words had no meaning.

"... Tomori?"

Tomori could not find any meaning in his brother calling his name.

As if saying he didn't know what was happening, there was only jealousy and hatred on that carefree face of his.

With that kind of face, with that carefree face, I was able to live in a house with that carefree face, my parents treated me as a normal son with that carefree face, loved me, and that carefree, insensitive face understood everything. Tomori hated and loathed the fact that he loved himself but knew nothing about him.

This was the same as me doing nothing.

When Tomori came home a day earlier than planned, I did nothing, and I didn't stop. You didn't come home with me.

Doing nothing, but, but, but——

Tomori lost everything that summer day.

My brother hadn't changed since a long time ago.

He hated and envied, but was also ecstatic, finally able to pour all his emotions into it.

Only then did Tomori's leap trigger a loud scream, the sound as piercing as an alarm that kept ringing.

It was winter break now, and there were about three teachers left in the faculty office, including my brother.

Fortunately, there were no other teachers in a straight line between Tomori and my brother, and whether my brother had just entered the faculty office or was about to leave, Tomori was the furthest distance from the Tomori who came in through the window, and I was able to Escape from the table that was suddenly thrown away.

However, he was squatting on the ground, unable to get up, as if he had lost his back, and was still sitting on the ground moving backward, wanting to Escape from his younger sister.

Tomori slowly approached his brother, and his brother called for help from his colleagues, who rushed to another entrance.

It wasn't for Harassment, but because Tomori's aura and legs were reaching their limit, and running was too much trouble.

There was no way to Escape, running or throwing tables or anything was meaningless, so Tomori chose to walk closer slowly.

Unknowingly, he was induced by the "Devil".

When Tomori reached his brother's place, he didn't know he would admit to the forgiveness of not killing him immediately due to the guidance of the "Devil".

"... Brother."

Even Tomori himself didn't know why he called out.

He didn't know if he wanted to say goodbye or vent his grievances.

Everything I wanted to say was blown away.

Did he hope he could still communicate with the younger sister he had always called "little sister"? I knelt before him and begged him.

"I, I'm sorry! Tomori, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I was wrong! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! Please!!"

He understood what his younger sister had come to do, and he knew he was his younger sister's target, so he knelt on the ground and begged for mercy.

Begging for forgiveness.

I confessed my sins.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't persuade your father!!"

Tomori was at a loss for his brother's words.

Stunned, she only listened to her brother continue to confess on the ground.

I thought you didn't notice anything.

My brother felt that Mom and Dad were overprotective of their daughter because she was cute, and felt it was better than leaving her alone when Grandfather was around, so I did nothing.

But my brother confessed. I actually noticed.

Even if it was out of overprotectiveness because his daughter was cute, he knew that his parents' treatment of his younger sister was abnormal.

But even now, Tomori realized it was natural that he didn't have to think about this.

Even in elementary school, upper grades of elementary school, junior high school, during holidays, she never went out all day. I couldn't imagine that it was abnormal for Mom and Dad to lock themselves in the study.

Moreover, there was a large age gap between Tomori and his brother.

When Grandfather passed away, Tomori was only five years old, and his brother was already in middle school.

If he were a child about Tomori's age, he might not have noticed his parents' abnormality because a child's world is narrow, but at that age, it was strange not to notice the abnormality even if he was overprotected. Tomori noticed.

Because I didn't want to notice, I kept running away, I kept looking away, telling myself I loved my brother, as long as I had him, I didn't need my parents, but my brother foolishly took this as an apology, and when it came to this... I exposed it, and thought it would beg for my life, so I stuffed it in Hard.

"... Ha... Hahaha... Hahahahahaha!!"

Bewildered, confused, and frightened by Tomori's laughter, he raised his head and called out his younger sister's name.

This situation made Tomori laugh even harder.

The younger brother looked at his little sister like a monster, still not quite understanding the current situation, because he only apologized, without any substance, not because of guilt, but for self-preservation.

How could Tomori believe in his heart that his younger sister couldn't kill him? He found it amusing from the bottom of his heart, and couldn't help but hold his stomach and laugh as he asked.

"Haha... Hey, brother..."

I thought I didn't know anything.

My family thought everyone except my brother was a murderer. Not just myself, but my parents too.

"... Why didn't you come home with me that day?"

Faced with Tomori's irrelevant question, his brother asked back in surprise and fear: "When was that day?"

But Tomori did see it.

Hearing Tomori's question, he seemed frightened by "something" in front of him, opened his eyes for a moment, and then moved his gaze away from Tomori.

I thought only my brother was different.

There was no such thing.

Helplessly, my brother and I were once a family of accomplices, just like us.

However, my brother was better than anyone else in the family, and he was very good at fighting.

The reason my brother spent a week in the countryside, which was even more boring than him, in silence, was because he had guessed what his parents were going to do during that time.

Although I guessed it, I still pretended not to know anything and did nothing. "I don't know anything, so I do nothing."

The reason Tomori did not stop him from coming home earlier than planned was because he thought that if his parents knew he had firmly stopped them, they would realize he had guessed their plan.

And the reason they didn't go home together was that if their parents' "plan" had gone well, they should have been in contact long ago. That is why I knew the "plan" was neither a success nor a failure, and was still ongoing, so I did not return.

Precisely because he did not want to become an accomplice, although he foresaw that his sister would become an accomplice to their parents, he still put self-preservation first, sent his sister to a relative's house, and he stayed with his mother's parents. The house was just one more day. In

My brother is the same as me.

However, my "doing nothing" is better than what I and my parents did.

Just like that, my brother continued to do nothing.

He should have realized that his parents' overprotection of Tomori was a form of surveillance, but he did nothing.

If I had intervened, my parents would know nothing, and if only they in the family didn't think of themselves as "accomplices," and were relieved to learn that my brother was also an "accomplice," Tomori would say, "I did nothing." I was able to forget such things.

Because they were essentially people who only trusted themselves, he knew that a "shared secret" would only become a source of suspicion, not a source of security, so for his own benefit, he offered his sister.

Even if my brother really didn't know anything and felt that my parents' excessive interference with my sister was terrifying, my parents would still link it to "that summer" and push it to the point of suspicion. Because, if I had the same eyes as my sister, I might have taken the initiative to dirty my hands this time, instead of the passive way of "doing nothing."

So I did nothing.

It remains the same.

Did nothing.

So I do nothing, as if claiming I know nothing and nothing is wrong.

Although I apologized for not stopping my parents' excessive interference, which was clearly abnormal, my brother did not look away even though he knew about that day that summer.

He did not apologize, did not admit that he had always treated his sister as a sacrifice, and did not do anything.

Did nothing.

Even if his lover was brutally murdered a month ago, even if his parents were killed by a Robbery about a year ago, even if his own girlfriend disappeared some time ago, he would not feel sad or frustrated. I did it, but it did nothing.

I do nothing, such as chasing my lover or looking for the culprit.

I wonder if he is still aware that all of this is Tomori's work, but I believe he knows.

I am the prettiest, so if I can avoid being hurt by doing nothing, I will do nothing. Tomori always sees this kind of person from those closest to him.

This is why Tomori hates his brother the most; he cannot forgive him, he is jealous, and he wants to kill him.

This is why Tomori laughed... cried... cried, not even knowing the meaning of those tears, and raised his terrifyingly Heavy hand.

"One..."

Facing Kurapika's answer, Senritsu raised her voice unconsciously.

It was too simple and too perfect; the "answer" was stuck in a place Senritsu did not understand.

The reason abused children do not tell others about their injuries is that it is so routine that they become numb and do not admit that what they are being abused is abuse. There are many attitudes, such as resigning to being abused because you are incompetent, or being afraid that if you complain, you will be beaten more cruelly.

If you cling to your parents' Whimsical kindness and think "my parents really love me," I can still be saved. Even if it is on a whim, there is indeed a moment of having been loved.

I cannot be saved because in my heart I know and understand that I am not loved, but admitting it is too painful. If you stubbornly deny "the fact that you are being abused" because you don't understand.

Even if I know that denying that I am being abused or denying that I am a victim does not change the facts, at least in myself, even in my own cognition, "He is a child who has no choice but to Stick to the deception, this does not stop him from becoming a child who has not been abused and is loved normally.

A girl named Neon Nostrade is so eager for "love" and desperate for "love."

Realizing this, Senritsu unconsciously cast her gaze toward Neon.

Poor... I didn't mean to, but I reflexively rushed at her.

"... Don't look at me! Don't look at me with those eyes!!"

Sensing the meaning of Senritsu's gaze, which was cast upon her, Neon suddenly threw the Mobile Phone in her hand, which hit Senritsu right on the forehead.

Kurapika raised his voice, worried about her, and his upper body lifted slightly, but Senritsu picked up the Mobile Phone that had hit her and replied, "It's okay, don't worry."

This was Neon's answer, not Kurapika's answer.

Even as a non-combatant, the Professional Hunter Senritsu with a Nen Ability could have dodged or caught the Mobile Phone thrown by Neon, but she dared not do anything and had to resign herself to being attacked by Neon.

Because I know how much hurt Neon gave me with her careless, reflective eyes of pity. Because I can hear and understand Neon's painful, tearing heartbeat.

So at least I have to make up for it.

Neon regretted her actions the moment the Mobile Phone hit her, twisted her face, and reminded Senritsu that she was a girl who could be said to be kind-hearted.

That is why, even though I know this feeling will hurt her, I still miss her and open it.

Neon, who had been hurt by pity and was more sensitive than anyone else, felt pity in Senritsu's words, and remorse turned into anger and hatred.

"If you thought that way and looked at me like that, why didn't you tell me from the beginning!!"

Su cried while facing Senritsu.

"If I did something wrong, I should have said so from the beginning!! I should have scolded me for being selfish!!"

Everyone, always using temporary deception to show off to me... lying... don't lie and say 'the auction has been cancelled', 'participate, because this is a dangerous Robbery that you shouldn't do, sir,' and I didn't even disguise myself to escape!

I knew I shouldn't have said it! But I wanted you to say it! I didn't want you to lie to me, I wanted you to tell me the truth and persuade me... but... but... even if no one is looking at me, why are you looking at me now?!?"

Even if you didn't give me what I really wanted, not scarlet eyes, not a princess's mummy, not an actor's old tissue, but ordinary feelings, ordinary people, Neon, would face me, honestly respond, Neon blamed Senritsu for showing condescending pity now.

I believe he himself knows that this is an unreasonable request.

The newcomers Senritsu and Kurapika could not tell Neon, the daughter of the employer they were escorting, whose personality they didn't even know, "You should stop Collect human bodies."

Even the lie of "canceling the auction" when taking him home was the instruction of her employer Light. Neon knew that even Squalla and Linsen, who worked as Bodyguard, found it difficult to advise Light to be honest.

That is why, even though she was burning with anger, every word of hers ached with remorse.

However... although I understand, I also understand the feeling of screaming and appealing while being hurt, so Senritsu lowered her eyes, trying not to point to the pity she most wanted to be pointed to. But I just listened to the complaints of vomiting blood.

... Neon's words were indeed unreasonable, but neither Senritsu, nor the new escorts hired with her, nor the Squalla who had been escorting for a long time, were qualified to point out that they were unreasonable.

Undoubtedly, the reason we did not do so was not because we did not want to face and deal with Neon honestly, but because we did not want to do so from the very beginning. Because... it was precisely because they were reminded that they were absolutely the perpetrators of Neon, Senritsu continued to listen to Neon's complaints, silently lamenting, as an atonement.

"Daddy didn't look at me! He didn't listen to me! He only listened to the results of the Fortune Telling and what I wanted, only giving me what money could buy, no matter how many times. Let him tell me about his dead mother, he said nothing!!"

Even the others... didn't see me!

Mr. Dalzhorne said Daddy was bad, but he didn't explain anything, he just pushed me away! Eliza and the others just affirmed my words!

Although no one ever told me what was wrong with me, I gave them things without telling them anything, and although they relied entirely on my Fortune Telling, I couldn't tell them the reason for the Fortune Telling because I lost my ability. And to be told by Daddy, "I wish you hadn't been born," that is conceited!?

You don't know what you really want, you keep screaming that you want it, but you don't listen to me, you say it's all my fault because I'm selfish!?

No one told me, how would I know what went wrong!? I'm too selfish, I shouldn't want what I want!?

To Daddy! To those who say this is for me! Is it that bad to want you to love me!?"

Senritsu could not answer anything.

Not bad. There is nothing bad about this.

What she wanted was too ordinary. Even if you don't say out loud that you want it, this is something that would usually be given to you.

At the very least, it is wrong to ask others unilaterally, but asking one's father cannot be selfish. Moreover, the "love" Neon wanted was not just something to be pampered with, but also included the severity of wanting someone to live uprightly, even if it was someone she hated. On the contrary, considering her environment, I really admire her for demanding such sincere feelings.

Neon's claims, appeals, and screams made sense, so Senritsu could not answer.

Because every answer she gave to Neon came from the regret of Neon's rejection, because sympathy was already too late, and because she understood that this was not for Neon, but just for self-satisfaction, the sensitive me could not answer.

"……Do you think this is a reason not to atone for your 'sins'?"

Saying it out loud was like throwing it away.

Kurapika's heartbeat, which had been eerily quiet, gradually quickened its pace.

Kurapika responded to Neon's appeal with an angry voice.

Neon could no longer answer this question.

Because he knew the answer just as Senritsu did, and because he understood that this was an answer that should not be answered, his complexion, which had originally been flushed with anger, began to turn pale.

Toward that bloodless face, the scarlet eyes pierced it with a voice of passion that could barely suppress that color.

The thing Neon used as a shield was pointed back at him.

"……I think it's not that you are unwilling to atone for your sins, but that you cannot bear your own guilty Conscience, and you want someone to blame you, right?

……However, your father's self-reproachful shifting of blame is truly too unreasonable to be accepted as atonement, and no one should be blamed. ……No one blames you, so you have no guidance on how to make up for being forgiven, and you don't want to be a 'victim,' so you can't even defend yourself.

He might be able to bear the guilt alone, but the guilt also magnified his victimhood, which is something he does not want to admit.

That is why you gave birth to a 'Demon' in order to escape the victim consciousness you do not want to admit."

The second Nen Ability that Neon inadvertently created.

Human coexistence that grows by affirming and parasitizing human weaknesses.

Rather than twisting a wish to realize it, no matter how twisted, distorted, or broken it is, no matter how miserable and desperate it is, it realizes it earnestly.

It tells why the incompetent "Devil" was born.

"The reason you have a 'Demon' is not just your guilt-driven wish, which is 'I wish I were unhappy.'

When you are unhappy, the pity directed at you is just pity for your misfortune, not pity for the 'unloved' state you want to deny... or at least yourself. You wish for your own misfortune precisely because you are able to convince yourself.

……The reason you have your father is because you need it as a factor to make you unhappy, but more importantly, you have it, perhaps because you want a clear reason for your father not to love you.

Not loving you from the beginning, not loving you from the start, rather than treating you as a tool, it is better to have a clear fault, you have your reason for not being able to be loved because you are unhappy. Because I can dream that I gave it to you... that is why the 'Devil' is also attached to my father.

As for me... you wanted me to be a 'perfect attacker' rather than a 'perpetrator with a lot of room for sympathy,' so you chose a future that would cause me serious injury and bring me to the verge of death. The 'Devil' guided that future."

Just as she and Sora said, even if the fake "Demon" plunged Neon into misfortune and despair, she was sincere, genuine, and honest to the end, realizing her wish.

Neon's "Demon" earnestly completed Neon's wish of "I am not a victim" and constantly affirmed the weakness of "I don't want to admit that I am unloved," and Kurapika pointed out that it was a unique existence.

"……You may not have realized that I am a member of the Kurta clan, although you may not have imagined it as a premonition... at least at first my disgust and hatred for you………… He must have also realized the regret and hesitation he felt after learning that you were a 'victim.'

... That is why I chose your current future... If I could avoid it, if I could avoid it with my Fortune Telling, I would be grateful to you, and I would definitely forgive you. If you were forgiven by your own power and actions, rather than my goodwill, you would think you had paid the price for your sins, but still deny that you were a victim.

And... failure is fine too. I want to make a mistake, lose all room for sympathy, and become a perfect perpetrator who should be blamed. I want to be considered unworthy of sympathy.

……You just want to erase my pity for you."

A twisted yet overly simple wish.

Realizing this wish does not solve any problems. On the contrary, Neon will not be saved any more.

Even though she heart-wrenchingly wanted to lose the helping hand that should have been extended to her, Neon still persisted.

Dedicated to the "Demon" I created.

Because only they could face the three words "I love you" with a sincere and genuine attitude, Neon could not let go of his "Demon"... his "weakness."

This is why the "Devil" grows and upgrades.

"To be precise, your 'Devil' is not 'something that leads to an unhappy future.' Its existence is to 'deny that you are a victim.'

That is why... you even have a 'Demon' in someone who should have nothing to do with you. ……For your sake, in order to make you a 'perfect attacker,' the 'Demon' was loyal to you and possessed that 'Blonde Killer.' Because of you, I was brought to a future that would not exist without you... I was brought to a future that killed my own brother."

Unconscious, the unconscious wish of weakness, Neon held her breath and clenched her trembling hands, because he knew that it was no longer by his side.

The "Demons" attached to Neon were mocking it.

He was naively happy and mocked Neon for becoming a "perpetrator," Neon's wish had already been realized.

Senritsu could not understand this "Devil," which, despite being so twisted, did not just satisfy Neon's requests on the surface as Neon wanted, but satisfied them honestly and faithfully.

Just as Sora explained, this demon can certainly be said to coexist with humans, but its sincerity is twisted to the point that the wishes it makes are so strong that it is said that what is real is not fake, but a "hand." One only feels that this "Devil" is an Abyss that is within reach but can never be understood.

Kurapika frowned, annoyed by the demon's laughter, and slowly stood up.

Facing the incomprehensible, there was no fear, nor did anger respond to the Neon crying and asking on its face.

With a weary, surprised face... but there was no flinching in that heartbeat.

No matter how many times he was disappointed, he still missed him.

I lifted my upper body, pressing my slowly bleeding lower abdomen, as if admonishing Neon.

"Come on, Neon Nostrade."

"None of your redemptions have grasped the point. That is why I want to forgive you, but I cannot."

I cried while raising my heavy right arm, which should have been exhausted to the point of death, and swung it at my younger brother's face; he did not understand why he would regret it, but he could not forgive me.

However, before the sharp claws of the one calling itself "Mower" could sever the younger brother's face in one strike, the back of Tomori was struck by the "Demon" clinging to him.

"Gander!!"

"!?"

Thanks to the human-sized "Demon" clinging to his back, the Qi shot at his back caused almost no damage, but his already exhausted legs lost their strength, and Tomori fell forward.

The older brother let out a short scream, "Hi!", and his younger sister lunged toward him. There was no sound of concern for the falling younger sister, nor even an attempt to support her.

Sora watched it with cold eyes as he said this.

"... You really are an unlucky child. If you weren't surrounded by incompetent trash, you would have already succeeded. The ending becomes empty even though it was broken."

Sora also entered through the window Tomori had broken into, walking over with the same regret as after the apartment battle.

"... Why... are you... here!?"

"When I was looking for you, the apartment manager said your brother is a junior high teacher, you support your younger sister, and you are a good friend to your neighbors. I had thought—in the end, I was saved as someone with no concept of privacy.

Also, the alarm went off, and you can move forward without hesitation."

Tomori managed to stand up, turned around, glared at this question, and kept walking.

She seemed not at all afraid of Tomori, but she approached her slowly, with no intention of helping the human attacked by Tomori or immediately stopping Tomori.

As he approached, Sora answered.

I did not ask, Tomori kept running away, avoiding his eyes the whole time.

In order to take responsibility for the trouble he had fallen into, and to become the attacker that Tomori could resent without hesitation, Sora pushed his weak wish.

"... I still don't know exactly what happened, but... you have been chased for a long time."

Since that summer, what kind of "Demon" has possessed Tomori?

"That is why you are used to looking backward.

... To escape, I killed many people, used many excuses, deceived them, and then luck, but the evil stomach child, when did all this succeed?"

The Neon "Demon" clinging to Tomori's back had shrunk significantly, likely because Sora's intrusion had disrupted the future of "killing one's own brother."

But even if it was as large as the one possessing Sora and Kurapika, it still existed.

Tomori's fate, the tragedy, and the fate he could not avoid of being shot by the police—he could not say what he wanted to say, which proved he was glaring at Sora with narrow eyes: "It's not over yet." I said with a smile, as if I had said it.

However, Sora ignored the Demon's laughter and continued to speak.

Sora had fantasized from the beginning that "Tomori would kill his brother," but he could not know what happened afterward.

Whether he knew or not, what Sora should do and what he could do had already been decided, and he had no intention of changing it, so nothing would change.

So Sora continued to speak indifferently.

Instead of the Neon "Demon," he just looked at Tomori's "Demon" and talked about it.

"Truly... what an ironic misfortune.

"The choices you made were not the best, nor were they the best; in fact, your wishes will not be realized. My methods were so successful that I surpassed my own goals and kept making big mistakes."

"... What... what are you talking about!? I don't understand what you mean!!"

Hearing Sora's words, Tomori roared, loaded strength into his legs that should have been exhausted, and started running, raising his heavy, irresistible arms to attack Sora.

Sora did not hesitate, parrying the light attacks while thrusting forward.

I hope the "Demon" created by Tomori twists, warps, bends, and breaks, but for now, I can only hope.

Tomori's "Demon weakness," the thrust.

"You don't want to escape; you want to be caught, right?"

Since that summer, Tomori had been running.

I was forced to run.

My father, mother, and even my brother had been forcing me to become Tomori.

To a 5-year-old child who didn't know what "death" was at all and didn't consider the grandfather's good or bad, I planted a sense of guilt, telling him I was an accomplice.

No matter how exhausted Tomori was, he could only run.

That is why... that is why... Tomori...

"Because you knew from the beginning that you couldn't get rid of the guilt that followed, so a long time ago, you were already exhausted and committed more crimes 'so that someone would come to catch you.'

... I didn't choose to turn myself in,... I couldn't choose; is it because you and I don't want to be 'victims'?

... Really, how twisted and warped a wish that puts the cart before the horse is."

Tomori was not an accomplice.

Under the silent pressure of her parents, she was forced to kill her grandfather.

No matter how disturbing and strange the atmosphere of her parents was, and no matter how strange her grandfather's situation was, a five-year-old child had no ability to attract other adults.

There was nothing wrong with Tomori.

She was absolutely a victim.

But Tomori herself did not admit it.

Because, paradoxically, if you admit you are a victim, Tomori would have to admit that.

The parents could have canceled the plan so as not to become her accomplices when Tomori returned, but if they accepted the fact that they chose to drag Tomori into the crime, their daughter would be guilty toward her parents instead of continuing to suffer. Due to emotional pain, I was afraid that the grandfather's care would continue.

We had to admit that easing the burden was more important to us than to Tomori and our daughter.

Tomori did not admit that she was unloved, but forged her own memories, saying that she was not forced to die, but chose to become an accomplice, a perpetrator.

So no matter how guilty, Tomori could only continue to run.

No matter how much Tomori shouted, "I am also an accomplice, also a perpetrator," it is impossible for a 5-year-old child to be an accomplice.

Far from being judged for turning himself in, Tomori had no choice but to keep running, for he would face the truth he least wanted to face.

... Tomori ran away, denying that he was a "victim." Unlike his parents, he defended himself and justified his own actions. I did not. So naturally, I am already exhausted.

At the end of my fatigue, I just want to take a break. "Weakness Kuma" is Tomori's "Nen Ability."

"Because you want to absolutely deny that you are a 'victim,' even if you commit a new crime, you cannot end it by turning yourself in."

I agree. A perpetrator with no room for sympathy will not turn themselves in. Running for self-defense, covering up your crimes... So even if you want to be caught, you must try hard not to be caught.

"There is room for sympathy for this child; in a sense, she is a victim."

Sora says that Tomori's crimes seem to run counter to Tomori's will, but they are not contradictory.

And this was the correct answer; clearly, while frantically waving his arms at Sora, he cried and begged, "Shut up! Shut up!"

No matter what crime Tomori commits, regardless of age or gender, he will receive sympathy from unrelated strangers. Precisely because those who know nothing know nothing, Tomori knows how to face the truth with insensitive speculation, saying, "He must have been abused and twisted." It must be done with despicable motives and despicable means.

Only in this way does Tomori have room for sympathy, so Tomori continues to take overly circuitous steps.

And this method is circuitous, but in the end, it is all based on a child's superficial wisdom of crime and concealment. Easily exposed, Tomori got his wish to be caught as a "perpetrator" and was able to stop running.

Even if the room for sympathy cannot be completely eliminated as Tomori wants, being caught should be enough to end it.

However, Tomori is unlucky; none of this was identified as Tomori's crime, despite it being a child's shallow wisdom.

The body of my brother's first love has not yet been found.

Tomori was completely ruled out as a suspect because the cause of death of the parents, who faked a robbery-murder, was "beaten to death."

I don't know if the police are aware of the similarity in the name of the current "Blonde Killer."

Tomori himself has a foul play called "Nen Ability," but even if there are no Nen Ability users in the police organization, no one in the police organization knows of the existence of Nen Ability. As much as possible, it is not a minority for capable people to commit crimes.

Therefore, it should have been impossible to ever notice the existence of Tomori, a person with superpowers, but the reason no one has noticed until now is not only that Tomori is too talented, but also that Sora criticizes those around him for being too incompetent. Cannot.

... Especially incompetent, and also trash, is Tomori's brother.

Even if he didn't notice the Spiritual Power of Nen, there were plenty of reasons for him to be suspicious of his sister's behavior.

But even though I was the closest, I didn't notice.

I don't know if he is truly stupid, not noticing at all that his sister went out in the middle of the night wearing his clothes, or if he is just a coward who does nothing, like that summer. It is still fragments.

Just as his sister was attacking someone, the person who helped him was crying and crawling away; what Tomori did was meaningless.

Because of a clear conscience, always being chased by guilt, and being shown off by his brother.

Even when faced with the fact that his family, parents, and brother did not love him, Tomori would not stop his steps. I cannot stop myself. Although exhausted, I have no strength left, but I have lost the way to stop... When I cannot choose to accept the cruel reality that I am a "victim" to seek help... from..., even knowing it is meaningless, I cannot stop.

"Why... why is it all me! Why does my brother like me, but unlike me, he is free, he didn't even run away, and he has a girlfriend, why do I have to keep running away!? Don't you notice what I'm doing?!"

What is it!? Why are you... you can't do anything, you can't protect anything, but why are you forgiven!? Why am I not allowed to be a victim or an abuser, and I have to suffer!!"

Sobbing, Tomori still tried to deny that he was a victim and desperately tried to eliminate Sora's pity. Pointing out that it failed.

Continuing to try to be a perpetrator.

However, the struggle will come to an end.

Amidst the shrill sirens, the sound of police cars approaching and gathering can be heard.

Red lights flash outside the window.

Tomori realized this, his face covered in blood, turned to avoid the police, rushed out of the corridor, and ran past.

How I wanted to stop running, but I wanted to rest, so I committed countless crimes, but Tomori ran away again.

Tomori had no choice but to run away.

I wanted to avoid the eyes, but found that "my brother noticed everything and did nothing."

Sora saw through why he was obsessed with being a perpetrator without sympathy.

With this alone, Tomori's wish to "deny that he is a victim" will not be realized; instead, he will be caught, treated as a "despicable and cruel criminal without sympathy," and treated as a "pitiful child who claims to be a victim without love," just too late, equally tragic and unbearable.

So, although I am tired of running away and I don't want to run away anymore, I don't want to end what I have been doing with the word "miserable," so I know that even if I run away, I won't get anything. But Tomori still ran down the corridor, broke the window, and jumped down.

While listening to the "Demon" laughing.

Tomori didn't know if this "Demon" was created by him or possessed by a girl who looked like him.

However, just as the "Demon" laughed, I heard a sharp gunshot.

Thinking that many readers would say that Neon characters do not fit their image, so I wrote this article, but I have always thought that Neon is a girl like Eri-chan.

For the time being, it is based on the content I explained in the work (such as the reason why I worship fortune tellers, and the fact that the types of collections are broad). I intend to.

But if it were really such a child, it couldn't be taken seriously in the first place.

Or rather, the reason why Neon's non-human character took root is because "even if I was told that my Bodyguard, especially my boss and agent Dalzollene, had passed away, I was only worried about Kinoi." If my image is correct, then Neon must hate Dalzollene from the bottom of her heart...

Well, it seems that she was actually frightened by Eliza's confusion, so she really didn't care about others without exception; at least Dalzollene didn't really care.