Chapter 146: Brothers and Sisters

Gon and Killua were completely speechless, stunned by the gap between such behavior and the atmosphere so far removed from it.

Sora's doll looked like a person, but it was not that the head was crushed, but rather it shattered like broken pottery, scattering everywhere.

However, as soon as those fragments hit the floor, they trembled slightly, then the hair grew shorter as if a video were playing in reverse, the ridges on the nose and lips disappeared, and the skin gradually withered; the fragments themselves shrank, turning into gray shards the size of a toe within seconds.

Similarly, the corpse left under Hami's feet, when its head was smashed into pieces, twitched and trembled more vividly than the fragments of the head, while revealing its true form.

Not only did the fingertips not lose the freshness of human skin, but they emphasized the joints, and the skin tone became dull and gray; it turned out that a headless doll was lying on the ground, which should have been the corpse of a Puppet.

This was also a nightmarish, terrifying scene; although I knew Gon and Killua were not there, I was still very worried because I only looked perfect, thinking, "Is this really a Puppet of Omokage? Or is it not? Is it?" It turned out to be an unfounded worry, so I felt relieved.

But, of course, this level of relief could not save anything.

"... Hmm, I have already dealt with the ugly trash. Shall we start now?"

Perhaps because the doll that displeased her had been thoroughly smashed, her anger vanished, or perhaps because she had smashed the doll with her own hands, her mood seemed very good. A conductor's baton.

But I could not start yet. I could not start anything. There were too many unknowns from the very beginning.

So, Gon asked, trembling at Hami's actions.

"... What... so...? No matter how... you can't see... your sister... you and Sora are exactly the same... that kind of thing..."

Hami frowned at Gon's misfortune, but even so, she did not ignore Gon's headache-inducing question, wondering if his relationship with Gon was still okay.

"Oh? You didn't notice? You look at the Circle world."

"!? "

However, the answer was not a response to Gon's question, "How can you do this?" It was just a correction.

Hami opened her tightly closed eyelids, revealing hollow eye sockets, and spoke.

"There are many Wizards who have lost one of their five senses due to the side effects of their Magic Circuit or Magic itself, and were unable to function from the very beginning. It is a bit magical to send them in."

You look at the Circle world. From the very beginning. Even knowing that the doll could recreate that child's appearance, it was precisely because I knew that I could not forgive her.

Correcting and speaking.

It was completely different from when she laughed and asked her to agree, "Isn't she cute?" Hami said with a smile.

The anger that should have disappeared by destroying the doll was reviving.

However, that kind of anger did not suit Gon, who criticized him for destroying Sora's doll without hesitation.

It was not Gon who stepped on her landmine of anger.

Hami moved her hollow eye sockets away from Gon, who was terrified, but it was hard to find them.

She cast her hollow gaze toward the snow-white Killua, who stood motionless without a word, her beautiful lips whispering softly like a small bird.

"Don't you know? Can't you imagine? I don't know."

... I might be a fairly excellent Wizard, but I might be much better than the Wizards of the Clock Tower, but even so, I cannot choose my methods. Unlike that kid, it has no breakthrough. No matter how deep, there is a bottom, there is an end; one day, those ordinary people who are neither Wizards nor Witches will surely uncover the mystery. Hami, unlike 'that child Sora', has nothing particularly outstanding, but there is no end.

You don't know how I look at that girl who has such a sister; the superficial understanding is uncomfortable.

He whispered and threw it toward Killua, and Hami turned gracefully and walked away.

Killua could not move even when he saw his defenseless back facing the balcony.

Now is my chance; even if I think I must run away, my legs cannot move. Paralyzing your mind, as if your head has gone numb.

Killua does not understand.

When Sora's doll head was smashed, was he afraid of Hami, was it because he felt the real girl might be killed so ruthlessly and cruelly, or was it just because he wanted to die like that? I don't know if it was just that. There.

However, my brother's voice echoed in my mind, the voice was too loud, and I couldn't think of anything.

"Do not fight an enemy you cannot beat."

Seeing that I could not resist that voice, Hami looked at me in disappointment, that face without eyeballs, the same face as Sora now, a face very similar to Sora.

"Are you obsessed with it, even if it's fake, a doll, or that child was destroyed?"

"--Hmm?"

Killua finally responded to his gaze, or his words.

However, the reaction now was too late.

What was lost from Hami would never return. What she said after quietly lowering her eyelids was probably just a pity.

"That doll is not an obsession of a girl named Kurapika. A long time ago, it was judged a failure and thrown away by Omokage, and I destroyed it."

That was the second generation. I was hoping Omokage would be obsessed with other humans without learning.

That is "your obsession Sora 'world'."

Hearing Hami's words, Killua even made a puzzled sound.

I wonder if you can hear her words.

Killua's gaze could only see the person who crossed the sea and appeared from the balcony.

"Killua!"

Even the voice of Gon Freecss next to me was very distant.

"It's okay! It's also a doll!!" Gon said. Although he said there was no need to be afraid, even if he knew this, Killua could not help but hope.

I hope it is a dream; if it is a dream, please wake me up.

"What happened? Even if you are obsessed with the broken air, are you afraid?"

To Hami's sarcasm, I could not answer any questions.

Instead, the doll that walked into the room from the balcony answered.

"Noisy."

The jet-black, shiny long hair fluttered in the wind like tattered curtains.

A cold, Hard voice interrupted Hami's words.

First impression, this one looks more relevant than Sora.

But no. "He" has nothing to do with Hami or Sora.

"If you can't discipline your own little sister, don't interfere with other people's business."

"Oh, sorry."

At "his" words of displeasure, Umi let out a sigh of relief. I don't know if this "jealousy" is ironic or sincere. I cannot consider such things.

However, Umi faced Killua mercilessly.

The Doll knew who was there.

"——Unlike me, you are a good brother who cares about his younger brother."

Unable to think of a rebuttal.

Yet, his bloodless lips trembled and muttered as if being manipulated by someone.

"……Ah……Brother……you."

This was all Killua could do in front of the Illumi Zoldyck Doll.

＊＊＊

It was only after realizing that Sora's puppet was a puppet that I calmed down.

However, that is because Omokage's ability possesses the memories of the original human who became the puppet, and accurately reproduces their personality.

Even if she couldn't go against Omokage, could she really face him like her sister did? I could see he was behaving suspiciously, and I could have expected him to give me a chance to Escape.

This is the reason why Killua could not move.

It is precisely because it accurately reproduces the person themselves that nothing can be expected.

These words did not come out from behind my parched throat.

Legs, as if stitched into place, did not move.

Words repeated over and over echoed in my mind.

"Do not fight an enemy you cannot beat."

For Killua, it was right in front of him.

You cannot Escape, let alone fight. That is why I had no choice but to run away forever.

Even if you teach me about those wounds I haven't faced, I cannot face them. Because the other party does not face me.

That is why I had no choice but to run, but I could not run.

Although he knew it was a Doll and not the real thing, Killua was like a frog stared at by a Snake in front of his brother Illumi.

"Killua! Killua!!"

Even though Gon called him and grabbed his shoulders to shake him, Killua's paper-colored face was drenched in cold sweat, and he did not move. I could not move. Not even his gaze turned toward Gon at his side.

However, he looked at his younger brother standing by the sea, his eyes expressing his longing with pain, "I don't want to believe it," "I wish this were a dream."

Seeing Killua like this, he felt his thoughts racing. When Gon began to prepare to Escape with him, Illumi seemed to read Gon's thoughts, closed his sea-like mouth tightly, and opened his eyelids.

"My eyes see nothing but Pitch Darkness."

Revealing eye sockets as hollow as the sea—though hollow, they were not deep enough to not see the bottom—he stood in place just to resist Gon, who was trying to Escape with him.

Like Umi, Illumi never showed any Malice or killing intent toward Killua or Gon. I don't remember anything similar.

However, unlike Umi, it had no Malice and no killing intent; it simply emitted a purely ominous aura, Wrapping them in it, a deterrent.

Letting them know there was nowhere to Escape.

I want to run, I want to run, but I cannot run.

Knowing he could not Escape, Killua remained in place so as not to hurt his younger brother's feelings further, at least minimizing the damage he received.

He couldn't even realize that this was a cowardly act of flattering Illumi by trampling on the efforts of those trying to help him.

Because I had never been taught anything other than "that is right."

"So kill, give me your eyes."

Killua could not Escape. I could not move.

Unlike Sora, this was not my intention. Although this could not be his true intention, he just stood there waiting for Illumi to approach, as if to offer himself up.

Illumi's Puppet spoke to such a little brother, its expression hollow, like a Puppet, yet like a person, with a lifeless, expressionless face.

"That's right, you are a good boy, Kill. You cannot go against me... Don't move."

"Are you going to make me do this!"

Killua could do nothing.

So instead, Gon turned toward Illumi and interrupted him.

He was not frustrated with Killua; Killua did not want to face him, nor did he want to run, so he gave up. This was Gon's natural behavior.

At first, Gon didn't even realize that the action he had been attempting, "Escape Together with Killua," was actually "running away."

His actions, what he wanted to do, and what he intended to do were consistent from the beginning.

Gon was simply acting to protect his friend.

I think he is dazzling.

I want to be like him, I want to give myself the same things he has, so I think, "I want to be Together with you." I should be. We were supposed to be Together.

But Killua could not move.

And, just like last night, he was simply protected by Gon, and he himself did nothing.

Umi closed her eyelids tightly, watching Killua, using Magic to transmit visual information directly to her brain.

He said nothing; I could not see anything from his expression.

She didn't even let me down anymore.

Facing Illumi, Gon created a winning aura, walked toward Illumi, and pulled out several Needles stuck in his own body, throwing them toward Illumi.

Rolling to dodge, Gon's legs did not stop.

Since the long-range attacks "Paper" and the slashing "Scissors" were not yet complete, I intended to close the distance and hit Illumi's Puppet with the only form, "Jajanken."

"!!"

Killua could not say a word on his friend's back.

Although he could not even blink, let alone move his fingertips, opening his mouth to speak was, for Killua, something he believed the teachings of his father and eldest brother were Absolute about while he was at home. No sound came from his open mouth.

The Suggestion of the voice I wanted to shout, "Behind you!", was caught in the Curse of the toy doll illumination not in Killua's mind.

"Wah!"

Gon, who had no idea what Killua was shouting, was swallowed by the shaking of the space behind him, the Needle that should have been dodged, and Hami's displacement Magic, jumping out from the blind spot. Discovered again, Sora was made to fall to the ground like a doll in a movie, clumsily sewn to the ground like an insect specimen.

Fortunately, unlike Sora's doll, Illumi's Needle pierced Gon's back instead of the hem and sleeve edges of his pants and jacket, and Gon himself was not harmed.

Illumi should not have been able to see Gon's condition, but perhaps because of his well-trained senses as an Assassin, he did not even say thank you to Hami who was following him.

"As sweet as my little sister."

"If the brain is destroyed and the child's eyes become cloudy, that pervert will definitely be annoying, don't work overtime."

However, Hami immediately denied Illumi's sarcasm, "Not sweet," she retorted sharply, and cold air flowed between the two.

Illumi's Throwing Magic and Hami's displacement Magic cooperated seamlessly; Gon felt that their appearance and atmosphere were similar, but it seemed that was not the case at all.

I thought about it a bit carelessly, but I didn't have time for such Analysis.

Although Illumi and Hami acknowledged that they were incompatible, was it because of the order of the surface shadow, or did their nature think that pointlessly slapping their own mouths was a waste of time? There was no idle talk; Hami was Gon, and Illumi approached Killua again.

"Stop...! Don't touch Gon!"

Even so, perhaps because Illumi's attention shifted slightly from him to Hami, Killua was finally able to say the words he had been holding back in his heart.

Perhaps it was because it was Hami's words, not Illumi's.

As if to point this out, Hami gave Killua a harsh and ruthless response.

"If you don't want me to take it out, do it yourself. Unlike this child, you are not bound, but aren't you ashamed to make such a shameless request?"

Killua was pointed out, his lips just didn't do anything, and the words he should have regained were lost again.

And Illumi seemed to agree with Hami's words, and seemed a bit uncomfortable with her words and actions, let alone not replying to Hami, but her expressionless face could not hide a certain emotion; she really didn't think of anything. Younger brother Killua, who was used to her expressionless face, was the reason I read.

Illumi had no complaints about this objection. Killua could tell from her blank expression that she felt the same way.

"You went against my Suggestion and made friends, Killua.

... Although I said so much. If you make friends, you will only be betrayed."

Illumi's words made no sound. I couldn't get it out. After all, it reminded me that the scream just now was only possible because the other party was not Illumi.

(Impossible! Gon would never betray me!)

I wanted to say it, I should have said it, but even though I was powerless, Killua just let out a hoarse sigh.

While Illumi looked down at him with temple-cave eyes, she asked her brother who was barely breathing.

"Or did you make friends just to betray them?"

"No, no!"

This time I was able to deny it.

However, the reason this could be said was because the aura emanating from the Illumi in front of him had faded a little.

I knew this was a remark allowed by my brother's kindness.

(I must make this guy shut up now—)

I know in my mind. If I don't make Illumi shut up, I will make the same mistake I made a year ago and last year in the Hunter Exam.

Even if she said it wasn't "natural," even if she forgave him because of "instinct," Killua himself could never forgive himself for breaking his promise to his father.

Nevertheless...

"You cannot go against me, I taught you with a sour mouth.

—Do not fight an enemy you cannot beat."

Killua's legs moved.

However, instead of heading toward Illumi or Hami like Gon, he turned his back on them and walked toward the hallway and stairs.

It carried an aura, but it was to protect himself. It was not built for fighting, just a messy aura that seemed to be agitated at any time, gathering Together, just a desperate look.

(Of course, I can't beat Illumi now...! That's right, once I extract the white three, I'll be ready...)

Killua didn't know what he was doing. I didn't realize that I started acting before I thought, and only found the meaning of the action afterwards.

However, such imitation is not allowed.

That is why my brother would stab that small back.

"What and other Escape low rice fields"

I was pushed onto him, and his legs stopped.

With the disappearance of the excuse, Killua realized what he had done, and the "meaning" of his actions when Hami kidnapped Gon.

"But it doesn't matter. Leaving your precious friend behind to Escape is the worst thing... but it is the correct answer."

I remember breaking my promise a long time ago.

Just like last year's Hunter Exam, I weighed it with Gon and then gave up on Gon.

And this time, it was in front of Gon.

Even if it wasn't my nature, even if it was my instinct, I still did the worst thing. No matter how others comfort him, Killua's Conscience will not forgive him for the crime he committed again.

But... but...

"Just as I thought, you are what I said, you have no right to make friends."

"Shut up! Stop it!"

Denial.

Responding to Illumi's words, another blow, and words of denial came from behind.

Killua himself could only think that Illumi was right, but no matter the reason, it could not change the fact that he had abandoned him. Although I realized that this was not Illumi's fault, but my own weakness, and it should have been my own fault...

Even so... nevertheless... in order to break free from the restraints, Gon forcibly tore the hem of his clothes sewn to the floor, pulled out the Needle, and threw it at Illumi like a whining child, shouting.

I did not care about Hami, who was about to come and steal my eyes; I just glared at Illumi with a flushed face and shouted.

"Apologize to Killua!"

Killua is not bad either.

Gon protects Killua even after being abandoned.

No, I am sure he thinks Killua did not abandon him in the first place.

This is nothing more than an excuse, an afterthought, an excuse to turn a blind eye to guilt.

If you are not good at it, you do not even know that this point is questionable.

To him, it might just be a reflex.

Hearing Illumi's words, when he pointed it out, Killua's back stopped, standing motionless, looking so fragile and painful; Gon could not recall what Killua had done to him, or what had been done to him, I just thought, "I cannot 'forgive you,' so I am just angry and throwing a tantrum."

The fact that my friend was hurt was enough to make me angry.

There is no excuse for hurting my friend.

"... Which mouth are you saying doesn't need extra work?"

"Sorry, I am not a Nen user, but a Magic user."

Having such high expectations for my body would be troublesome for me; its performance is just what it is."

The Needle thrown at Gon was easily caught without even looking, but Illumi's expressionless face twisted slightly, perhaps because Gon's words and actions were very unpleasant. He should steal his eyes.

However, Hami was not sad at all; last night, although he was in an "Absolute" state, he still blew away Gon, who was naked and passing through the Zoldyck "Testing Gate," with his palm.

Despite the tense and sarcastic exchange between them, the two of them remained excellent pawns and workers.

Just as they were arguing, Umi turned to Illumi again, turned to Gon... to be precise, he threw the Dagger in his hand toward his own Shadow, stitching the Shadow to the floor.

Then Gon's movements also stopped at the same time. Before he could discover it, his own body movements were also stitched into the Shadow and Sealed.

The moment I thought "I can't move!?", Gon came out with the Dagger, smashed the balcony glass, and was thrown out of the ruins.

"Gon!"

While arguing painfully, calling out the name of Gon, who was shocked by the professional cooperation that had no impact on the work, using their personal feelings as a command, Killua walked toward the stairs again, but his back was behind him. Illumi spoke again.

"Where are you going?"

Answering this question, I could not help but say: "That's right!"

Knowing. All I did was keep everything new.

Not knowing if this leg was walking on Gon's side, whether it was sincere or calculated.

Also, I would rather escape from here than impose my true intentions on my heart.

But of course, such an escape is not allowed.

"Oh, alright then. Why don't you let me go?"

Facing Killua's weakness and words of guilt, Umi, disguised as Illumi's pursuing body, suddenly said something to Killua.

But she was never an ally. It was impossible before it became an Omokage doll.

As proof, Killua activated Displacement Magic under his feet to open a shortcut to Gon, but the space she connected was almost directly above Gon.

The floor of the ruin corridor was connected to a space at almost the same height as the kicked-out Gon, and Killua, who fell from there due to the pit point, was full of spirit because of his anxiety, so he took a passive attitude, and I was thrown to the ground with no room left.

"Ah!!"

"! Ki... llua!"

But even so, he realized that he was much better off than Gon, who had just fallen.

Although he should have used his "coat" to protect himself, Gon clutched his stomach and continued to breathe shallowly in pain. His forehead was sweating from the pain, as if it had pierced the armor of Aura and broken his ribs.

Nevertheless, he was worried about Killua, who had suddenly fallen, and shouted his name.

Before bringing joy to Killua, he might not know that this fact was too much guilt.

(I... am so weak!)

Knowing his own weakness made him want to die, but Killua still shouted loudly.

This feeling, worrying about Gon, as if to prove that only the sadness of his own injury was real, not to Illumi, not to Hami, not to Gon, but to let Killua and Gon know Gon's safety.

"Are you okay!? Gon!"

"I didn't see the kick... at all..."

While answering, Gon coughed up bloody saliva from his mouth, proving the power of Illumi's kick.

However, Killua knew that even this was being looked down upon.

Judging from the words of Hami, to whom Gon was attached, staying alive might be more convenient than digging out a corpse's eyes.

So we still have a chance. I am not serious. I am not serious because of the order, I am slack.

Killua told himself they still had a chance.

"That was a farce... you will betray your friend anyway."

However, as Illumi said, this was all a farce. The hope Killua told himself was fleeting, and a word from his brother disappeared like a bubble.

Illumi, who jumped down from the balcony, did not consider Killua running away with Gon on his back at all. As if saying such a thing was impossible, he approached with leisurely steps, without rushing.

Hami sat gracefully on the balcony railing, looking down at the two with closed eyes. As if saying that if Gon was injured, there was no need to go all the way to find him.

Neither of them thought that Killua would fight him like Gon even if he had no chance of winning. I do not think this is possible.

Killua himself made this decision.

"—Kill. You will kill that friend someday..."

Illumi confirmed.

Even if you think so, there is no way, I said I have already given up everything.

I thought the same thing a year ago. So at the very least, I chose it out of selfish self-preservation.

At the very least, it wasn't me who caused my friend's death; even if it was my fault, even if it was my fault, I didn't want to dirty my own hands. I didn't want to commit suicide.

Killua could only do so much with a selfish, miserable, pathetic "at least."

But... but now...

"You are good."

Because someone told me that.

Because you cast a Magic on me.

"There's no such thing...!"

I broke my promise. Gon saved him, but Killua only thought about self-preservation.

But I don't want to let Gon hurt me, I don't want to lose him, because I really want to protect someone like Gon. Even if you betray yourself again and again, you still can't throw it away. Because I don't want to throw it away because I can't let go.

So this time, Killua turned to Illumi and denied his brother's words.

With the wish of being able to go anywhere, clutching the red gemstone tightly.

However, although Killua had grown a lot since a year ago, for Illumi, this was still a fragile, weak, and meaningless struggle.

"Then kill me. If you don't kill me, I will kill him."

"Uh...?"

Just like during the Hunter Exam a year ago, Illumi said expressionlessly.

He declared that if he didn't fight, if he didn't commit suicide, Gon would die.

(Don't be afraid, this guy is just a doll, you can win...)

Killua convinced himself to accept this verdict.

The Carnelian given to me by the apprentice of the Possibility Wizard, I choose the future I want from the many infinite possibilities and talk about it.

Like her, "Absolutely possible."

But it is impossible for Killua to become a Wizard.

(But if it is the ability Nobunaga spoke of, then the doll's power is the same as his brother's...

Can you still win? Am I your brother...?)

Killua couldn't even take his eyes off the endless possibilities he didn't want to see. And I also understand that the possibility is the greatest.

This possibility devours the future, the possibility Killua chose.

Even the "Magic" she gave me was covered up by Illumi's "Curse."

"Hey... hurry... kill me."

Illumi approached me defenselessly.

He didn't have much aura. As usual, there were Needles stuck in my body, but I had nothing in my hands. You can still sit on the balcony and watch the sea.

It's shameful, but this is the greatest opportunity, because I was licked, because I was looked down upon.

(If you are this close, you can always kill or I can...!)

However, the corpse lying on the ground in Killua's mind was not Illumi's, but his own.

(No, will I be killed...!?)

Illumi came to Killua's side.

Then, as if to meet the gaze of his brother who was still sitting, he also knelt down, pointing his empty eye sockets at himself.

"Kill."

That voice drowned out the "Magic" the Wizard apprentice gave me, the words she gave me.

(--No, I can't win...)

"That's right. Don't fight an enemy you can't beat."

Illumi said so softly, as if he had grasped his brother's thoughts, pinched Killua's chin, and locked eyes with the gaze of the cathedral cave, magnifying his aura.

"Soul Calling Jade Leaf"

"Stop!"

Just at the moment when a black thread-like tentacle reached into Killua's eyes from Illumi's eye socket, Gon, who should have been kicked unconscious by Illumi, grabbed Killua and flipped him over.

Just like that, he settled in where Killua was, and most importantly, his face, his eyes, turned toward Illumi.

I don't know what I was thinking when I did this.

I'm sure even Gon himself doesn't know. He did it without thinking.

I don't think it would have been better if I hadn't turned my gaze to Illumi, or if I became a scapegoat, there would be no point in dealing with Killua.

It's just because he can't let go. I can't think of words of criticism, but I want to tell the other party my anger, even if the other party doesn't see my anger, I still can't forgive him.

That's why I might just be staring at him.

"! Go!!"

As a result, the tentacle growing out of Illumi's eye socket entangled Gon's eyeball, dug them out, and instead, as if they belonged to him from the beginning, inserted them into Illumi's eye socket, I didn't.

"Oh, did you put it in your eye?"

Umi jumped down from the balcony lightly, talking about the lights.

Perhaps because there wasn't a hint of sarcasm or irony, Illumi also answered surprisingly normally, "Yeah. Although it's different from the instructions, this is fine too, I can see the world glowing."

Sure enough, Umi and Illumi said: "So you had that feeling?" A conversation.

"Ah..."

The eyeball was stolen, and Gon fell again.

The eyeball was dug out, perhaps causing some damage, but the aura on his body also decreased significantly. Presumably, that "Soul Calling Jade Leaf" is not only the eyeball, but also seems to be an ability to steal the aura of the eyeball's owner.

Seeing this, Killua stood up and ran to Gon's side.

"Gon!?"

However, when Killua saw Retsu, the girl who was further away from him but running ahead of him, he became unable to move.

"Gon! Stay strong!"

It was unclear whether they had been searching for them after being torn away by the sea, or if they had just been hiding somewhere watching, but regardless, Retsu was clearly in a distressing situation; without hesitation, she fell and rushed toward Gon in worry, continuing to shout at Gon with a tearful face and voice.

(What am I doing...)

No matter how you look at it, Retsu is more like a friend to Gon than I am, even though Gon has helped me time and time again, while I have betrayed and abandoned him again and again.

Seeing such a scene, Killua could no longer get close to Gon. Stay away.

"You are not worthy of having friends."

Illumi's voice, words, and Curse echoed in my mind again and again.

But I still don't want to give up.

Because I cannot throw it away, because I cannot let go, even though Illumi's Curse shrouds me, I still remember that she gave me "Magic."

Killua stood up.

(At least... take back Gon's eyes...!)

However, reality was cruel to Killua.

He stood up and turned around, but Illumi was no longer looking at Killua.

"The order has changed. Omokage wants this eye brought back. Also, it is time for you to go home."

"Oh, is it okay if I just destroy that failed piece of work? I'm afraid I'll be blamed for my incompetence."

Killua's eyes widened at the two people's words; they chatted casually without even glancing at him.

Then, he opened his mouth to shout something, but Illumi, who had obtained Gon's eyes, did not use the sea's spatial displacement, but instead closed the distance with a jump and kicked his brother away.

Kicked like a ball, Killua spat out a bloody cough from his mouth.

I couldn't say "Wait a minute," "Don't run away," or "Give it back to me." I couldn't even speak.

"Excellent."

To Illumi, this was a familiar sight, just like his little brother kicking him and coughing in pain.

So he seemed not to care at all; he raised a hand at his usual pace to bid Killua farewell, and without hesitation, he swallowed the space created by this sea, which was likely the place connected to the true hideout of the shadows.

Killua could only cough while seeing him off.

After seeing his brother disappear, Killua shifted his gaze to Gon and Retsu.

"Gon! Hey, are you okay? Gon!!"

Without even looking at Killua, who had been kicked down and was groaning, Retsu kept calling out to the exhausted Gon.

I have no complaints about this. Killua could only think that he deserved to be ignored.

"Don't trust Retsu too much."

"Being betrayed is a punchline."

When I remembered what I said to Gon, I started to laugh.

What kind of mouth are you talking about? When I don't even understand myself, I cannot help but mock the absurdity of my own remarks.

(Wasn't it me who betrayed you... Just yesterday, when my brother almost noticed me, Gon protected me...! I...!)

"How long do you intend to sleep?"

A majestic voice interrupted the thoughts in my mind, and only regret welled up in my heart.

He thought he had already gone home with Illumi, but unknowingly, the sea had approached Killua's side, and she stood there with her eyes closed.

Whether it was an order or a dogma, Killua concluded that he was already defenseless, and she also wanted to take his eyes, but she did nothing.

If you want to take it, I hope you take it. I don't want to see anything anymore.

Because I don't want to see a world where I only show my stupidity, ugliness, and weakness.

However, the sea certainly would not satisfy Killua's selfish desires.

Instead, she pointed out something Killua did not want to see, as if to end it.

"... The water that has overflowed from the Container can no longer be Recycled."

Having said that, the sea once again produced a spatial fluctuation like a heatwave, and was swallowed by it, disappearing from sight.

She left, pointing out that what Killua had done or failed to do was now irreversible.

Even with such a cruel sentence, Killua could no longer treat the sea as a "Demon."

However, I slowly stood up, holding my kicked stomach, and I understood the thoughts I had when I stood up.

(... Ah... right.)

Completely affirming the sea's words and convinced, Killua began to walk.

He did not go to find Gon and Retsu, but walked in the opposite direction, leaving without any motivation.

"! Killua! Where are you going!?"

Realizing this, Retsu shouted in confusion.

There was no reproach in her voice, nor was there any joy at his departure.

Killua thought Retsu was ignoring him, but it turned out she did not mean that.

She did not blame Killua.

This was why Killua ran. Ran away.

Because she did not blame himself, and because she cared about him, even if his priority was lower than Gon's, Killua could no longer stay there.

(I... am not worthy of being Gon's friend...!!)

Water spilled from a Container can never be Recycled.

The past cannot be changed. The results of what I did and what I did not do have already emerged.

I prioritized immediate self-protection and lost what I wanted to protect.

I know. I know.

Yet, as Killua ran and ran, falling time and again, he no longer had the strength to run.

The water that should have been spilled, the things lost due to stupidity, the glorious days I thought were taken for granted—even though I know it is only regret, I keep thinking about it and cannot let go.

At this time a year ago, I became interested in a friend I met for the first time because we were the same age.

Honestly, Killua looked down on Gon during the Hunter Exam.

I completely looked down on the fact that he was able to keep up with me in the marathon during the primary exam, saying, "I'll make it." I felt dissatisfied that he had more opportunities than me in the final exam and that expectations for him were high.

However, I realize now that I am actually much weaker.

Killua's combat power is perhaps still slightly higher than Gon's. But, long ago, the heart of Gon, who used it, was much stronger.

Since the Hunter Exam a year ago, Killua had been receiving his help.

Since then, Killua realized that he had not grown at all.

(... I have been with him for so long and received his help, yet I haven't grown at all... Does that mean I have no room to grow?

I... no matter how much I wish, no matter how much I hope... even if he cast "Magic" on me... still, I cannot become like Gon.

What I need is not "the courage to change what can be changed," but "the reason to accept what cannot be changed"?)

Because those days in my memories are so dazzling, dear, and hard to let go of, I am facing the sins of what I have done and what I could not do, and the future Killua wanted has fallen into the Abyss, turning into nothingness. Meaning.

Remembering what Hai said last night, he revealed a weak, sarcastic, self-deprecating smile.

Just like my brother said, I am a black doll without warmth; I thought I should accept the fact that no matter how much courage I have, I cannot change it, yet Killua only said one sentence.

Even Killua does not know what happened.

Those words should have been hard to let go of, but if they sink into the Abyss where everything begins and ends, they become meaningless, because everything is there, unable to be Recycled.

So... Killua cannot help but feel that "that" is convenient.

"Hiccup...!"

Returning to the small town from the ruins was fine, but by the time they reached the ruins, it was before noon, and the sky had already turned dark.

Killua did not know if it was because the Sun had started to set or if the clouds were thick enough to completely block the Sun. He did not even realize when it started to rain.

After being entangled by a group of staggering drunks, Killua finally noticed the surrounding Pitch Darkness and the raindrops.

And the drunkard roared childishly at Killua; Killua had only lightly bumped his shoulder, but his face was bright red, though it was clearly alcohol, not anger.

He laughed happily.

He was a thug; even if he were not drunk, he would steal money. To him, it was just entertainment.

But it was the same for Killua.

The drunkard did not notice the corners of Killua's mouth rising slightly, smiling even more terrifyingly than himself.

(In the end, just like my brother said, I am a person of this side.)

I cannot hear the drunkard's shouting.

But I only understand that this has to do with me.

... I can calculate that even if I kill him, he would not be someone who would cause trouble for my family.

This is why Killua's hands made a popping sound and underwent Transmutation.

By contracting the muscles in his fingertips, he was able to change his claws in a familiar way, letting the claws protrude like cat claws.

"... I have nothing left to protect."

I am not saying this is a favor, but an opportunity.

This is the drunkard's chance to run away. Killua did not have the strength to chase down someone running away, so he should have run.

However, the drunken thug was provoked by Killua, who remained silent and showed no fear toward him at all. I cannot understand what he said, but it seemed he knew this was not a statement of boasting or asking for forgiveness.

"Oh! What are you saying, kid! Ora! I'll teach you social rules!!"

So the drunkard, the thug, and the man had a half-drunk bottle of liquor in his hand.

Then, he swung it down toward Killua's head without hesitation.

(If it is like this—)

At the same time, Killua lifted his head, pulled his arm, and it turned into an evil claw that takes the lives of others.

It should pull back, exert force, and then thrust it into the man's chest.

Pierce the man's chest, dig out his heart, and then crush it.

I should repeat what I have done so far.

Through this action, I should reconfirm who I am and where I am.

I gave up, accepted it, and tried to cut it off.

The dream you had

I intended to crush the dream of living in the Sun with the person I love with my own hands, along with the other person's heart.

However, my hands could not reach out.

"Kill—!!"

"!?"

Because someone stood between me and that man, and without hesitation, Wrapped me up.

If you reach out your own hand, the heart you dig out does not belong to that person, but to that person.

The reason I cannot touch him is because of my brother's Curse, "Do not fight an enemy you cannot beat."

Or............, or——————

"Killua! You're hurt!?"

She loosened her arms around you slightly and lifted her face to ask.

This was Killua's line.

Because she was wedged between himself and the man, the man's wine bottle had struck her head instead of Killua's, then shattered, and the remaining wine covered her head.

But that person was...

It wasn't just rain; amber-colored droplets reeking of strong alcohol dripped from her white hair, soaking the Ten wrapped around her face, and that person, she, was completely unaware that she had been hit. Although his eyes were covered by bandages and most of his face was obscured, he looked as if he were about to cry, asking Killua if he was alright.

She trembled with both hands, afraid she might touch something, afraid of an irreversible situation, afraid of the water overflowing from the Container, yet she still hugged Killua.

Killua said as much.

I knew the only thing I should say was "no" to put her at ease.

However, from within Killua, words that should have overflowed from the Container and sunk into the Abyss surfaced instead.

Even though they should have lost their meaning, they were snatched up by someone still struggling in the Abyss.

"--Help"

Sora responded to Killua's voice.

"Okay."