Chapter 160: I Am a Helpless Child

"……Teeth?"

Forced to turn around by Biscuit, Killua, seeing Sora for the first time, looked blank.

It was as if he had forgotten Sora, only Sora, and even Biscuit; he made Gon change direction beside him, with enough force that it might have hurt his neck, yet he just stared at Sora.

And Sora also looked at Killua with a bitter smile, appearing very awkward, but no matter how long they stared at each other, she could do nothing, so I temporarily tried to take action.

"……Yes. It's Sora, who loves Killua."

I smiled awkwardly, raised my hand, and said something silly. If it were the usual Killua, I would try to wait and see, and he would smile and say tsundere-like, "Don't be arrogant!" or "You're so stupid!"

"Wah!!"

As soon as I said "I love Killua," not only his face, but his ears and neck turned red. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words could come out, opening and closing like a goldfish lacking oxygen.

Hearing such a reaction, Gon and Bisque couldn't help but look up. This reaction clearly indicated that the possibility of the mandrake pollen not working had definitely been crushed.

Even Sora knew this, so she lowered her brows and smiled.

Sora, as usual, intended to convey her thoughts with a smile, "Don't worry" and "You're not bad." Or rather, in her view, it was almost a reflexive smile, so she probably didn't even realize it.

However, for the current Killua, it was a final blow in many ways.

"!!??"

"!? Killua!? Hey, where are you going!?"

"Wait, Sora! Sora, chasing him will be counterproductive!!"

"Killua."

How Sora smiled bitterly at Killua, "Okay, don't worry," he thought he wouldn't turn red again. It, headed straight for the path with no way out, and disappeared.

Sora hurriedly chased after Killua, but Gon stopped her with a valid argument, and the culprit, Bisque, left it to Killua.

Contrary to usual, Sora looked at Biscuit's self-disciplined reaction, feeling no sense of danger, and said as if criticizing her.

"Master! What are you doing!?"

"No, if it works well, it won't change like usual, and it will be the calmest..."

"What do you think?!"

To Biscuit, who answered directly without feeling sorry, Sora also immediately retorted.

Not only Biscuit, but even Gon was confused by his opposition.

"Eh? What kind of reaction is that? Or is it Gon?"

"I only realized it until now..."

"Killing is too unrewarding..."

"Teeth?"

Not realizing Sora's confusion made them hold their heads in sympathy for Killua, and Sora tilted her head deeply.

"Ah, it's okay, no problem. If you bite the root, your sanity will be blown away, but if it's just pollen, the first person of the opposite sex you see will look like the most beautiful person in the world, and the poison will disappear. For a whole day."

After handing the collected materials to the NPC Elder, Gon and the others asked:

By the way, the reason pollen comes out even from female plants is that it mimics other flowers. No wonder the mandrake clung to Killua.

"……Hmm, Killua's reaction does seem like an extension of his usual tsundere self, and it looks like he hasn't completely lost control."

At the Elder's answer, Sora looked like she didn't know how to react, but she was convinced first, then glanced behind her.

There was no one behind. Or rather, there were only Sora, Gon, Biscuit, and the Elder in this room.

However, the signs of being watched from outside the house, or outside, but not far away, did not disappear.

However, no one was vigilant about this sign. No wonder. Because everyone realized this sign was Killua.

Sora chasing the fleeing Killua would only be counterproductive, this is better!!", and Gon understood exactly why, so the result of fulfilling Killua's wish now was that Killua acted alone... or rather, just being in a stalking state.

This person himself would absolutely never admit it, but he didn't want to face him, yet he seemed to hate being separated from Sora.

I don't know if it's the effect of the mandrake or Killua's true intentions.

In any case, let's be reassured that because of the mandrake's fault, this is not a dangerous situation in many ways, so let's relax. Killua, probably listening somewhere, is probably saying the same thing to himself.

Thus, I left Killua alone as he wished, received the Elder's designated card "Elder's Energy Booster" as a reward, and visited an inn in the city, staying in two rooms.

Usually, he sleeps outdoors most of the time as part of his training, but his physical condition is abnormal, and he cannot be with Sora, so he wants to act alone. Decided to stay overnight.

However, if he lived in the same room as Gon, everyone thought he would appear, but even if he could be seen after waiting for a while, he didn't even appear in front of Gon.

"Why don't you appear in front of me? I'm not like Biscuit, I have no intention of teasing you."

"Hey, Gon, what do you mean?"

"Maybe you don't want to take care of yourself and deal with the boils. It's a complicated age."

After waiting for Killua to call Gon and he didn't appear, Gon gave up. Sora and Bisque went to the restaurant on the first floor of the inn to complain softly.

Although Gon was satisfied with Sora's answer, he didn't know how to respond, while Biscuit glared at the disciple who ignored him.

However, Sora was not sad; on the contrary, Sora glared at Biscuit and said:

"Seriously, Master, what are you doing!? Killua, if this continues, even if the effect wears off, you won't appear for a while because of the shame and self-loathing of falling in love with me, you know?"

"……I agree, but do you really think it's 'me'?"

Since the brightness of his eyes didn't change, the level of anger wasn't high, but Biscuit, who had spent the longest time with him, understood that he was really angry, but there were things bothering him more than that. So I will put it above the apology.

If I take care of him unnecessarily, Killua might get angry, but from Biscuit's perspective, this is also atonement for what he did.

However, although Sora understood that Bisque didn't want to avoid the conversation, she didn't understand what Bisque was going to say.

"Hmm?

Well, I am indeed better than my teacher, the age gap between a grandmother and her grandson, but even so, I am nine years older than her, so from Killua's perspective, I am also an old witch. If you fall in love with a mandrake, even if it's temporary, then besides lifelong trauma and dark history, what else is there?"

Biscuit could no longer be angry about being treated like an idiot again, and she froze.

Not only Biscuit, but Gon's eyes also widened, froze, and then both made incomparably sad expressions at the same time, and Sora tilted her head again.

"... There is no helping the age gap between them, but I didn't expect them to be unaware..."

"Yeah, that's right. Because Sora also didn't notice Kurapika... hmm, he didn't notice."

Although Sora couldn't help it, the two of them held their heads and muttered in an extremely numb and childish way, but Sora seemed to not understand the meaning at all, looking puzzled. "What are you two talking about?" I asked.

"What are you talking about, Nanoha?"

"Hmm?"

However, in a sense, not just answering Sora's question, a precise jab was decided from behind, and Sora made a bewildered sound and looked back.

The dumbfounded sound was not because he didn't understand the meaning of this jab, nor was it because he was surprised by being suddenly jabbed from behind, but because someone had appeared under the premise that they shouldn't have.

"Killua!?"

Not only Sora, but Gon and Biscuit also looked up and shouted involuntarily.

Far from waiting for the effect to wear off, even if it did, how much longer would it take for her to appear...

However, for the two people other than Sora, the confusion was quickly resolved.

For a moment, they thought the effect had worn off earlier than they expected, but the two guessed that when Sora was in front of him, Killua wasn't blushing, but was emitting an extremely gloomy aura.

Sora had replied earlier, "Falling in love with yourself is a lifelong traumatic dark history."

Even Killua, who usually wouldn't notice anything, would be angered by Sora's ingratitude and self-deprecating words, which belittled himself and looked down on everyone who thought of him, but his reason and stubbornness did not show.

At least not through actions or words; the Mandrake venom had severely loosened Killua's reason and his stubbornness, if not for the Robbery of it.

Loosened and exposed.

It was indeed a poison-enhanced multiplication, but it was definitely not a fake made by poison. Something that had been there from the beginning overflowed.

"... You really don't know anything."

"Huh? What? Killua, are you okay? I shouldn't have touched you...!"

Sora knew Killua was the ultimate jerk, but still didn't know why, and was confused by Killua's snarky remark, but still cared about him.

Precisely because he cared, he pulled back his extended hand, wanting to have Gon or Biscuit check on Killua, but was grabbed by Killua.

Killua grabbed Sora's wrist, pulled him, and forced him to stand up.

"Come with me, don't listen to me, I really will kill you."

Killua unilaterally put forward his own demands, and just like that, Killua pulled Sora's arm in a state of not knowing what had happened, and led his footsteps away from the restaurant and the Inn, which was not an Assassin's field.

"... Biscuit, what should we do?"

"... Leave it alone. If you stick your neck in, you'll get kicked by a horse. Ah, youth."

After Killua and Sora left, Gon asked with a puzzled look.

Biscuit didn't notice that Gon had misunderstood.

In fact, Biscuit didn't know that Sora's true nature was that of a pure maiden, to the point that it could be called an obsession with cleanliness.

I think he likes dirty jokes just as much as the original Kurapika and the others. As for the Mandrake matter, I think it's less that he was disgusted by it, and more that he was angry because of his sympathy for Gon.

So no matter what happened, Sora would fight back, Killua was on the side, and Sora himself thought he didn't care that much, so he said "leave him alone" lightly. Gon said Biscuit was Sora. It was precisely because I thought I knew the girl's cleanliness that I worried while listening to Biscuit's instructions, "Are you okay?"

I don't know Biscuit. And Gon.

I don't know the real reason why Sora is so dull about "romantic feelings directed at me."

Killua remembers.

It's that I really don't know anything.

"K, Killua, Killua-san. What's wrong? Where are you taking me?"

"Noisy."

I scoffed at Sora's question with a bewildered voice while pulling his hand.

Everything annoyed Killua.

And there was that confused voice that didn't understand.

Even if you grab it with enough force that you might bruise it, you won't say "it hurts," and you will follow without resistance.

Although he knew what kind of situation he was in now, there was absolutely no sense of danger.

... Although I know she is in love with me, I just don't like the troubled look on her face.

This was no comfort to Killua, as he thought it was a temporary phenomenon caused by the Mandrake.

In other words, this woman had no idea about Killua's feelings, which is why she got into trouble.

I am certainly happy, but even with the premise of rejection, I am not worried.

Honestly, this woman thinks that if Killua targets himself in this way, only a very special situation like the current one will occur.

Completely unraveling the reason and stubbornness severely loosened by the Mandrake.

"Whoa!?"

Far away from the Inn, he looked around for signs that Gon and Biscuit were not following him.

Even if he tried to do it with his heart, he wouldn't fall, but Sora wasn't doing any better, falling in the back alley, sitting down and complaining, as if accepting Killua's usual rage.

"Killua!"

"It's this that makes me angry."

Immediately retorted and gave up the complaint.

Despite being angry, Sora's voice was unusually calm, and Sora erased the anger on the surface.

"... Killua?"

We don't know anything. Killua had no room to rejoice, because he interpreted the fact that he didn't feel threatened as trust.

There was no such thing from the beginning, regardless of the Mandrake.

I knew from the beginning that this was a pre-trust issue.

"Is this the reason why I lost control?"

"Teeth?"

The blank face became unnaturally angry.

It certainly wasn't like this at the beginning.

I really don't like that he is a candidate for my older brother's wife, but that's only because my eldest brother and my second brother both dislike Killua. Unknown.

Without a doubt, at first it was just "like." No more, no less, nothing else. It was merely a kind of goodwill, similar to the goodwill you have for Gon.

I don't know when it changed.

But it is true that "like" was something different from time to time.

Not to mention his brother and Kurapika, who had been his enemy from the start, even though he didn't want to give it to Gon... said Sora, who hadn't changed at all from the beginning. Because he couldn't help but get angry.

"Is it because I'm still a child? Is it because I am nine years younger than you?

Don't treat yourself like an idiot and judge me at will."

When I asked, I knew I was saying something unreasonable.

Naturally, I am not within the range of Kurapika and above. Although the age gap is only a single digit, my age was too problematic from the start.

Even with the same 9-year age gap, if you are 30 and 21, people around you will say 30 is a criminal. Few people would say it, but 21 and 12-year-olds are outright criminals.

Now even Killua is asking Sora, but if his lover, a woman in her 20s, appeared, he would have no choice but to be confident.

Although I know this much, and although I reject such a lecher, I know that the more honest I am, the more impossible it is, so even though the Goddess warned me, I looked away, but I am a foolish adult. Due to the product of midnight tension, I could not close the lid.

"Killua..."

"... Five years from now, will you let me appear in your line of sight?

I am still very confused. However, as if he realized something, he ignored the name he was called, took a step closer, and continued.

"After so many years have passed, am I still your cute younger brother, the child you have to protect?

Promise me you will wait for me for five years. Don't become anyone's property, at least until I am on equal footing with others, so I don't have to give up on things I can't help with."

I know, so I tried to give up.

Knowing this, I cannot give up.

After all, no matter how hard I try, I cannot change the fact that I am much younger than Sora.

This is not Killua's fault.

If there was anything he could do through effort, he could have worked hard. Attached.

With a voice that sounded like he would cry at any moment, and with that face, he made a wish while moving closer to Sora.

If the current me is not in range, I hope you will put the me of five years from now in your line of sight.

Five years have passed, I am still a teenager, but I cannot say I am still a child. Because I am an adult. Because I will tell you.

So until then... not becoming anyone's property is Killua's one-sided selfishness.

Although I know I am selfish and not considering Sora herself, I still can't help but say it.

This is the only way Killua can see her.

Thinking this, Killua sat down in front of Sora, grabbed her hand to keep her from running away, and leaned toward her face.

"If you can't do it, look at me here now. If you don't like it, take me as your reason for refusal, rather than because you are a child, or because you are an idiot."

It's not that I don't think about what will happen after the Poison wears off. If things go on like this, I will definitely never see Sora again.

Even so... I think this is better than being such a cute little brother, just a child I want to protect.

Even if it is the "lowest level," it would be good if he remained in Sora's memory as the opposite sex... as a "man."

"Killua, you are—"

"This is not the Mandrake's fault."

Sora did not know what Killua wanted to do, but he still thought this was not Killua's true intention.

Denying the excuse that Sora could be the same as before, he broke the last Wall of such a Sora.

This is not the Mandrake's fault. No, I am sure that the reason I say this is because the Mandrake has severely relaxed my reason and stubbornness.

However, this kind of thought is not the Mandrake's fault.

"... What is 'the first person of the opposite sex you see looks like the most beautiful person in the world'?"

Hearing the Elder's words, I couldn't help but laugh.

At that moment, the Sora that Killua could see————

"You have been the most beautiful person in the world from the very beginning."

What I saw was no different from usual, a silly face that made people angry.

It was just that the label had fallen off.

Although I knew I would definitely regret it when the basket fell off, I still wanted to touch it.

Until now I am still angry and frustrated, but I still feel very comfortable, and I wish everything was broken and lost.

However, in the end, Killua could not touch or take it away.

Although he knew, Killua still couldn't do it.

"... Are you so hateful that you want to cry?"

I wanted to throw away all excuses and destroy that lukewarm relationship that had always been so comfortable before I touched her lips, but before I touched them, water droplets overflowing from Sora's azure eyes touched Killua's cheek.

I know that I don't know what I am doing to hurt her.

And Killua is not prepared to hurt her, even if he is prepared to lose himself.

That is why Killua at least thinks and hopes so.

"... Killua. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize."

No matter what, I won't go back. Unlike a few weeks ago, the water Killua splashed even slapped the hands of the person trying to grab it, and threw it all away. There was no more water that could return to the basin.

Only a single drop of memory remained on the tray.

So at least, at the very least, I only wish for one thing.

"Don't apologize. If you are going to apologize, think of anything, then say it.

What is wrong with me? Everything is fine except for my age. Whether it's about your house or about your brother, it doesn't matter if you don't like his face... say it. Tell me.

... If you don't want me to regret it, tell me, 'I wish I were born earlier.' Tell me this is impossible, not because I am still a child, but because it is me."

Of course, Killua could not do anything about his family, his brother, or even his face, but he was born this way because he is "Killua." So it was still better.

It is heartbreaking, but after seeing the "killing," it was still rejection and denial, so I can endure it.

Even if she doesn't "like" me, the one who "likes" her is exactly "Killua."

If there is one thing missing from my current self, I might not have my "like" or her "like."

Therefore, it is bearable.

What I cannot bear is being cut off regardless of who I am.

Although Killua is not Killua just because he is an element of Killua, it is also not something Killua can change by his own will or effort, so it cannot be seen at all.

"... Look at me."

Killua is Killua, regardless of whether he is a child or an adult. Even if everything has changed, that should remain unchanged.

Nevertheless, I still cannot bear the fact of being called a "child," and I cannot let Sora see me, so I wish.

Sora responded to this wish.

"... Killua... the difference... it is not."

Sora answered while crying.

A face that looked younger than Killua's. She spoke as much as she could in a trembling voice, as if she were more afraid of her own words than Killua was.

"No... no... Killua...

I'm sorry, Killua... I'm truly sorry... Even if you go to the trouble of telling me, even if you have already made up your mind... I can only say this... I'm sorry.

... I'm sorry.... I'm sorry.... But... it is not...."

Your age and everything about yourself have nothing to do with why I... do not... view you as an object.

"... It is all my problem."

Killua thought he had been patiently listening to Sora's apologies and "no" words, but when he finally answered the "reason," something suddenly appeared in his mind.

Killua shouted frustratedly at Sora, who was still struggling and trying to maintain this relationship.

"What is the difference!! Don't force yourself to take responsibility for everything!!"

"Wrong!!"

But Killua's angry voice was drowned out by a more painful, tear-soaked voice.

The words shouted with great momentum were extinguished even more fiercely all at once, and Killua had no choice but to look back.

All Killua could do was watch Sora shed tears quietly.

I don't know what those tears mean.

"... No. Killua. This is not self-deprecation. This is not the perpetrator's delusion. This is a well-founded fact.

Furthermore, I don't think anyone, not just you, is 'that kind of object.' I try not to see it."

"—Hm?"

Learning that my maddening dullness was intentional, I was stunned.

Killua knew nothing.

A long time ago, he should have had information that would have been noticed, but Killua did not notice.

Sora's "confirmed fact" and the reason why no one brought up "that kind of subject."

Sora smiled slightly at the dumbfounded Killua.

During the day, he smiled at Killua, who had been poisoned by a Mandrake, and also revealed the same distressed smile.

Sora said with a smile while shedding tears.

As if to prove the truth of his words, he smiled as usual, except for the tears.

"Killua. I am a 'Magician.' This body has a Pseudo-Nerve called a 'Magic Circuit,' which does not exist in ordinary people of the original world in this world, and possesses organs that do not exist under normal circumstances."

And since this is something that shouldn't have existed in the first place, if you want to pass it on to the next generation, of course, but if you want to have better quality than your predecessors, you need to fiddle with the child while it is a fetus and adjust it.

Even so, once it passes its peak, it will gradually decline, and eventually everything will wither."

A story I heard as a Magician during the grace period before the Hunter final exam. Killua's confusion deepened after the story of the "Magic Circuit" was explained in more detail than it was then.

But when asked, "What is that about?" Sora one-sidedly continued the conversation.

"However, I don't know when that peak can be reached. Just when I thought it had completely withered, my ancestors might return, and a master claiming the highest quantity and highest quality in history might appear.

My sister is a good example. My house should have already started to decline, but she is the owner of the best Magic Circuit in history, and it is so detailed that it can be called a work of art.

... So I can't imagine it.

No one here possesses a Magic Circuit except for me, and I don't want anyone else to inherit it, so no matter who I give birth to, the Magic Circuit should only decline... However, the atmosphere here is greater than my world, and there is no evidence that the Mana created by the world itself will really decline, because it is closer to the Age of Gods. If you are not good at it, the chance of it being strengthened is not low..."

Killua said, "No matter who I give birth to."

Although the topic was an extension of what I just said, I didn't really think that much, so this time I shouted, "What is this about!?"

... I didn't even consider it.

Killua's dreams were all about the continuation of "now."

He still did not realize that he had never seen a dream of the "future."

Even though Killua shouted at him, Sora laughed and cried.

Although distressed, he seemed very happy.

She was very glad that Killua knew nothing.

"Killua. Mana is the Life Energy of this world... it is about breath. Magic Circuit has the function of amplifying and generating energy. But my amount of breath is huge, and it cannot be explained by individual differences.

... And those who possess abundant Life Energy will lose their physical bodies, leaving only their souls to remain in this world. I will attract things that do not belong to this world."

I felt the heat that had accumulated on my face subside.

I can imagine what Sora said to Killua, who is not stupid but rather quite intelligent, and what the "grounded facts" Sora spoke of were.

"This is the biggest reason why a Magician cannot be 'normal'. The technique to prevent harm is not only for oneself, but also harmful to those around you who are attracted to you. Magic is needed as a means.

If all Magic Circuit are closed, at most being 'inspired' is enough, but if it opens at a certain beat, you cannot control the overflowing Mana it produces, you will be attacked by things outside this world, and before releasing it, you will impose a burden on your own body with excessive energy, potentially self-destructing.

Ignorance only brings tragedy, so as long as there is a Magic Circuit, one cannot let go of Magic.

Then perhaps you should let go of the Magic Circuit. However, for a Magician, the Magic Circuit itself is a talent, so basically there is no way to let go of it. Even if there were, it is a technique transplanted to a successor, a technique to deprive others of their Magic Circuit. No one has studied a technique to throw it away without imposing a burden on anyone or oneself, and I never thought I would come to a world where there are no Magicians other than me, so I haven't studied anything... I don't know anything."

I originally wanted to use the Direct Death method, but the Magic Circuit is something intertwined with the nerves and organs necessary for normal life, and there are cases where nerves that should have been normal have completely turned into Magic Circuit. Even if you die immediately, there is nothing you can do.

... My child must give up many things starting from my blood."

He was glad that Killua understood nothing, and when he showed that Killua understood something, his voice trembled with regret, but he still smiled.

That "it's not your fault" smile was truly frustrating, and Killua replied in a low voice.

Although I don't want to be a child, what I helplessly do is act like a child.

"... Are you saying you gave up because you had no choice but to become a 'Magician'? Do you think a 'Magician' cannot be happy!?"

You are! I am now! Are you trying to say that you Magician are not happy!?"

"... Haha. Killua is wonderful... Yes, I despise that I gave up here. Magician trash is trash, even a respected Magician will be insulted."

Such a child's plea was dismissed like a willow tree.

I knew it without being told. I am sure she is even more unwilling to give up than Killua, and I know she has been struggling and thinking deeply.

Therefore, there is no salvation.

"I have no reason to be unhappy because I am a 'Magician'. Actually, I am happy.

... But Killua. I am the only Magician here. Only by telling that child can the misfortune brought by the Magic Circuit be avoided. I have no choice but to pass it on.

I have no one else to help or teach me."

I will tell you the answer I came up with a long time ago.

"... If it were my child or grandchild, that would be fine. I could teach them myself. By the time I become a great-great-grandchild, my struggle might end, but the child I teach will take over teaching me. It should have been given to me.

But what about next? Even if my child is an only child, passed down from generation to generation, it may not be passed down correctly, and the differences are huge.

Even if it is all written on paper or converted into data, the sense of danger will disappear due to the deterioration of the Magic Circuit, and it may be treated as unnecessary. What if an ancestor is born during disposal?

Even if I don't go to weaken it, it won't be weakened, and my teachings may not be of any use when a Magic Circuit possessor on the same level as the ocean is born.

I feel like I'm thinking too much. But it makes me think. I hate it.

I am happy to be a Magician. Coming to this world, I have no regrets. I am glad I lived happily. That is why I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

A child born from marrying someone I love, that child's descendants, a child who should be the result and symbol of my happiness, feeling unhappy due to factors that would not have happened without me. I hate being

I am sure you are thinking too much. However, this possibility is too high and has no basis.

Nevertheless, Killua lowered his head, clutching his hand tightly, bleeding.

"... I don't know how you feel, but as you said yourself, you are thinking too much.

That kind of thing, my grandfather got an incurable disease, and it might be passed on to my descendants, that's the level. What are you doing? Are you trying to say those people shouldn't have children?"

I tell you, this is an unfounded worry.

Although he understood that he was overly irresponsible and selfish, he insisted that the future Sora feared "I don't like" was unfounded.

I know my pain is not the same as Sora's, like the example I gave.

If you have a stubborn disease, there are others besides your family who can help you. With the advancement of medicine, we may overcome it one day.

But will anyone help Sora solve the tragedy of her descendants?

Even if someone reaches out, does it really help?

In a world where only Sora holds the knowledge of a Magician, how long will it take to find the technique to stop the Magic Circuit from being handed down... Killua, who is not a Magician, cannot imagine.

However, Killua said.

"... Don't give up. Even though you are uneasy about it, you... want a 'family', right?"

I cannot believe what Sora said.

Even if I can't see it, I have already understood Sora's wish, and I still hope they come true.

I don't want her to give up because she wants a "family" so eagerly that she thinks too much.

"... Yeah, I'm thinking too much."

Sora affirmed Killua's selfish request.

However, Sora did not satisfy Killua's wish.

"... But I'm sorry. I can't. I'm glad you said 'it's okay', but it's impossible... I'm scared."

While saying "I'm scared", she covered her tears with both hands, but the tears still overflowed from her eyes.

Sora placed the overflowing tears in her palm and said.

"... Killua, didn't you say? In Yorkshin, when Kurapika was sleeping with a fever... it can be said that a Magician's bodily fluids are Mana itself.

And Magic is this world, for those with Nen Ability, Life Energy Aura is about

Suddenly, the story changed again.

But this time I didn't think, "What are you talking about?"

I remembered.

At that time Sora didn't say it clearly, what Sora's reaction to "a Magician's bodily fluids are Magic itself" was, but I guessed it.

This is related to the "terrible" thing Sora mentioned while crying.

Killua opened his mouth.

Enough, I wanted to shout that I didn't need to be told, but I couldn't say anything. Compared to the tragedy caused by "things outside this world" drawn by the Magic Circuit, the tragedy Sora might fear more is so terrible that it shocked him and stripped Killua of the right to speak.

Sora cried and laughed.

Looking like an omniscient and omnipotent Goddess, both beautiful and sad... looking desperate.

"Killua... the most effective way to provide Mana is... sexual intercourse.

That is why... the Magic Circuit will discharge bodily fluid Magic Aura; if you hold my original form, regardless of my intentions, the other party can provide Aura.

I am not the only one; if you extract my blood, take over the Magic Circuit, and are born with it, it can be used as a 'Recharge' device for Nen users."

These words made me remember.

I am a helpless child. I know nothing.

Killua did not know why she had to give up her "family."

About half a year ago, Sora said something he couldn't explain clearly because his face was as red as a tomato, and he didn't pay attention to himself and Gon.

Unlike that day, I didn't blush or panic.

Instead, it was a white face as if drained of blood.

Even Killua did not blush because of his direct words.

On the contrary, my blood drained away all at once, and I became drowsy.

"... As long as we are alive, Life Energy is produced and exists within our bodies, so not only those with abilities, but ordinary people also have bodily fluids. The Magic Aura is melting; however, even for ability users, the amount is small, so whether it is sexual intercourse or blood-sucking, unless you have the 'ability to absorb Aura through such acts' or the 'ability to convert your own bodily fluids into Aura itself' to deal with an opponent, the effect is not soothing.

... But I, possessing the organ that produces Mana, not an ability, but 'bodily fluid' Magic Aura, because it is a constitution that says 'it is just like this'..., regardless of my or others' intentions and abilities, I can share the Magic Aura."

Sora whispered.

I was careful with Killua, and I chose my words to avoid imagining even the slightest catastrophic possibility, but that was meaningless.

The trick of "dividing" is also not bad. If you discover that a person with this constitution exists, the only thing you can do is unilateral exploitation.

That is also... regardless of Killua's affection, Sora possesses peerless beauty, which can be called a treasure that a Human Body Collector dreams of.

Recalling the appearance of the sister, it is not something that will collapse easily by mixing genes with the other party. Children with Sora's bloodline can also be expected to be good-looking.

Killua has already figured it out. The worst future that Sora fears most.

Compared to that, the possibility of being attracted and attacked by "things that do not belong to this world" is almost cute.

At least in that situation, no matter what kind of pain or despair you endure, you might end up with "death."

But... but... if Sora discovers that Sora's bloodline can be used as a "Recharge" device...

The dignity of women and men continues to be trampled upon. You cannot even kill it easily.

If it is bodily fluid Magic Aura, blood might be drawn until the last minute of life activity and sold. That is more convenient as a "Recharge" device.

I have nothing to say other than living in hell alone... but this is definitely not the end.

As Sora said, this is a constitution. In other words, talent is irrelevant; as long as one has Sora's bloodline, even if it fades over generations, it can be guaranteed to a certain extent.

And even if it is just a "Recharge" device, it is more than enough to use, but if it is the best appearance, even if you are not a Nen user, you will want it.

Undoubtedly, no one is short-sighted enough not to consider "increasing."

Moreover, if the Magic Circuit and appearance are passed down from generation to generation, if the reason is "Sora's blood has faded," if it is no longer animal husbandry but just a commercial tool, then the means taken will be—

"Ugh..."

"Killua!"

I imagined the worst ending, where I would end up, and a sense of nausea surged up.

Killua's face was pale, his mouth staggered, and Sora screamed loudly and hugged him so he wouldn't fall.

"Don't imagine. Don't know. Don't know. Stay ignorant."

Rather than supporting Killua who was on the verge of collapse, Sora preferred to rely on Killua.

But that was already impossible.

I finally understood. I understand.

What Sora is truly afraid of is that giving up is too terrible; this is the real reason she had to give up.

The tragedy caused by the Magic Circuit that Sora fears is not "things outside this world." Humans. Sora cannot help but fear the Malice and malice of humans trampling and taking over everything for their own interests and pleasure; although they are the same people, there is no way to stop it. I had no choice but to give up.

As far as possibilities are concerned, both are the same. It is not unreasonable to say it is unreasonable, but it is not something that will definitely happen one day.

First of all, information like "bodily fluid Magic Aura is like 'that thing'" cannot be exposed to others so easily, so if you only consider the possibility, the possibility of being attacked by "things outside this world" is much higher, so you can ignore this. This is very unlikely.

But... if you draw such a low possibility, despair and hell are decided at that moment.

After all, once exposed, the victims of the tragedy will not be the only ones.

Even if Sora's blood is forcibly forced into one of the three great taboos of humanity, it will not be diluted, it will not Extinguish, it will only increase and be used up.

Until the time when the Magic Circuit naturally dissipates.

"I'm sorry, Killua."

Sora said while hugging Killua's small back.

Apologizing repeatedly, I don't know how many times.

"I'm sorry.

... Although you fell in love with me. You made up your mind.... You said you were beautiful... I'm sorry.

I know. You think too much of my anxiety. I know it's like a too negative delusion. I know. But still... I—"

"Don't apologize!!"

I don't know how many times it has been. Every time it is the same.

Sora's apology is meaningless to Killua. I just kept being angry. Killua yelled because it made her want to cry more.

"No need to apologize! You haven't done anything wrong, so why would you apologize!?"

Clinging to Sora, clinging tightly, screaming.

I thought I couldn't be by your side anymore, I thought I couldn't reach that warmth, I said

"Everything is still fine! There is nothing wrong with you!

If that's the case, please don't apologize! If you don't have time to apologize, then keep fighting! You have already achieved this, but you have been struggling, you can say you are happy now, so why would you give up!!"

I was reminded that I am a helpless child.

I had already grasped enough information to realize it without letting Sora speak like that.

When I learned that the most effective way to provide Mana was through sexual intercourse, even if I didn't know that the Magic Circuit would be passed on to the child, I should have realized that Sora himself might become a target, but I didn't—I realized nothing, I didn't.

(What is "look at me"!! I am the one who can't see anything, Sora!!)

You regret your words and actions in a way completely different from what you initially expected.

I realized how foolish I was.

Although Killua hoped to appear in Sora's line of sight, he had never thought about what would happen after Sora appeared in his line of sight.

I cannot imagine it.

I don't want to give it to Kurapika, but I don't hate him, so I don't want to imitate him.

I was angry and annoyed, but I hoped that the lukewarm relationship that was still comfortable could last forever.

He tried to end this relationship, but what Killua truly wanted was for this relationship to last forever.

It doesn't have to be yours, so don't be someone else's.

This must be Killua's true intention. It is too selfish, yet it is a sincere wish.

I realized how foolish my wishes for the child were.

I understand it because it has been realized.

Sora does not belong to anyone. It is not because I am a child that I cannot see.

Killua's wish realized this overly selfish selfishness.

Only by giving up too many things can Sora obtain the happiness that a normal person should have.

This is exactly what Killua wanted.

Saying "no" is unacceptable. Thinking about it now, I don't want to make excuses to escape my own foolish sins, because I didn't think about the "future."

That is why I had no choice but to shout at Killua.

"Don't give up! Don't apologize! You are not bad, so you must walk with your head held high and get what you want!!"

In order to ruin the dream that had already been realized, I decided that breaking up this time would be fine, and I wept bitterly.

I realized that I was foolish and selfish, and that I had turned my eyes away from the future and was only obsessed with the present. This isn't bad, but I do hate having to give up what I truly want.

So at least shout once.

Don't give up. You don't have to give up.

I can only do this.

Killua could not find a way to stop the future that Sora feared, nor could he find any reason to deny it.

I kept shouting out a wish that was too dependent on others.

Although I knew that Sora had suffered, endured, and given up, I couldn't say anything other than to torment him.

"Killua."

The strength of the arms that seemed to be clutching it tightly loosened.

Ending Killua, Sora said with a hug, reforming the relationship that should have been broken.

"Thank you, Killua. But no, I didn't give up.

――――――I chose it. For my own happiness, I just chose another kind of happiness for my own happiness.

So there is no need for Killua to blame himself."

I couldn't ask, "What is the difference from giving up?"

Forcing me to face such a tragic future, let alone stopping it, I was immersed in the happiness she gave me and didn't even dare to imagine such a future, so I had no right to blame him or force him like this.

Most importantly————

"So, Killua.

... I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry. For saying cruel things, for wishing for cruel things..."

A little more, and the strength of Sora's arms holding her became stronger.

I grabbed it and asked.

"... Killua. Can I stay by your side?"

Killua had no right to say "don't give up."

I hated myself for being relieved that Sora was still trying to stay in that kind of relationship, and I also hated myself for not looking to the future and being satisfied with a comfortable relationship.

But still... Killua answered.

"... You are an idiot."

I answered with my usual foul language, pretending that I still had the water I had spilled.

"It's already decided, isn't it?"

Killua's answer made Sora smile.

Tear stains were clearly visible, and the area around the eyes was slightly red and swollen.

Even so, for Killua, she said with a brilliant smile that it was the most beautiful in the world.

"... Thank you. Killua. ————I love you."

To those words, I could not say, "Me too."

It is not because I am embarrassed. Her "like" is definitely different from my own "like," so I cannot agree to her "like" and say "me too."

The answer I can give back to Killua is to cling to Sora like a child, to cling to me, but I cannot raise my voice and cry like a child; I desperately hold back my sobs and reply with a short answer.

"I know."

I know my "dream" flashed by in the face of cruel reality.

Even so, Killua is still praying, because he still does not want to let go.

Killua prays, stronger than he hopes, but powerless to believe, powerless to believe even if he wants to.

(——It does not have to be me.

That is why, someday, please kill someone who is afraid of this "future.")

The "dream" Killua entrusted to the future is just like this.

All I can do now is continue the "present."

"... They say first love never comes true, but it is still sad. We love each other, and it is not our fault, but we cannot be Together.

Seriously, that Goddess's personality is really not like her. You know what will happen, so you shouldn't have pointed it out on purpose."

Open your lying eyes, "Magician."

Sora is different from those miracles obsessed with the distant past of Sora World, a Magician who recreates things surpassed by civilization. Ninjutsu, everything mastered, the "authentic" rainbow-colored hair fluttering in the Wind, while looking up at the sky, continues to talk to himself.

"... You are right, the path you chose is unmistakable. You are right.

First of all, your very existence is an irregularity in this world. Neither Araya nor Gaia would allow anyone who inherits your bloodline to exist.... If I forgive you, this is also the reason why I allow you to exist now. Just like the Magician in your world.

So, for the world, for your descendants, for yourself, this choice is correct."

The Magician affirmed "someone's" choice in what could be called a colorful garden.

"——But the 'story' must have a happy ending."

Affirming while denying.

Denying the choice of "someone's" choice, the way of life.

I don't like it. For this reason alone, the Magician denied it.

"Or rather, I have thought for a long time, you are very good at giving others a happy ending, but you are not very good at it yourself.

The Magician Merlin came to this conclusion himself, and the staff in his hand tapped lightly on the ground.

At that moment, the world changed.

The garden of various flowers disappeared, and a rocky area with almost no vegetation appeared.

Even the world itself was completely deceived and transformed, and even the smell was created.

"It's okay, your 'dream' will definitely come true.

After all, you have worked so hard to make so many people happy, to have a beautiful ending, and many people also hope you are happy.... Not 'people', including me."

It just doesn't suit my wishes, so I sincerely hope "someone" has a happy ending.

I really want to give it to you. I really want it.

That is why there is no chaos.

"If the dream is fleeting in the face of reality——————rewrite reality."

Muma looked up at the moon and said it like a song or a dream.

Unlike a doll, those eyes had an organic heat, although they were eyes that could see emotional colors... but they felt like an insect, a distance that "humans" could not understand.