Chapter 345: Episode 2

Inside the dim room, the capsules were arranged neatly. Dozens, hundreds of spheres filled the floor and walls.

Among the capsules emitting a faint light, only one was mixed with a defective product. It was broken. Looking at the cracked sphere, there was a silver-haired girl.

I was born as an ant; I was born as an Ant Queen, the center of a nest. From now on, I will lay many soldier ant eggs and create a new ant colony. This is the natural way of existence for the species imposed upon me. Without a doubt, instinct is reasoning and action.

This is why when I realized in this way that I was an "ant," I thought I was an ant that didn't look like an ant. The first thing I thought of after I was born was the question of who I am.

There is a strange memory inside me. A vast amount of knowledge that a newborn self could not possibly know is forming a personality. That is a memory of a "human."

Why do I have human memories? There is only one answer to this question.

Among the information left in my mind, there is one memory that is particularly vivid. It is a manga called "hunterxhunter." An adventure story about the protagonist, a boy, and his companions. This seems to be a very important memory. Although I did not try to remember anything, it just suddenly appeared in my consciousness.

There is an interesting description inside. It is about ants called Chimera Ants. Their ecology is very similar to ours. I don't think this is a Coincidence. The story might be based on real events.

The Chimera Ants that appear in the work are different from us. They eat humans and gain human-like appearances and abilities. Some even inherit the memories of the humans they ate.

I thought my memories were inherited according to the same principle. I don't know if my father, the Ant King, mated with the human who possessed these memories. Is it possible to inherit memories without feeding and mating? The details of how the Ant Queen known as the demi-human appeared in the work were also not revealed.

However, I do not seem to have become a complete "demi-human" yet. The body shape and size are not much different from other ants. Only the memories were inherited.

Other ants do not know that I have human memories. No, I don't even admit it myself. Only I am abnormal.

Those who take care of me, who was just born, are part of the soldier ants known as the Royal Guard. There are about ten of them. The King Ant is usually not in the nest. He leaves the nest with the Royal Guard, who are not the soldiers remaining in the nest, to look for the next mating partner. They come back from time to time, but they do not come to my place.

The soldier ants chew our staple food, Red Stone, into small pieces and bring them to us. They also give us water through their mouths. I do nothing but sit there.

It is said that Chimera Ants are able to use radio waves to communicate. I tried it, but no one responded. It seems that the Ant King and the Royal Guard cannot communicate via radio waves. This was also described as a characteristic of Chimera Ants in the work, just as in my memory.

Originally, the King Ant and his Royal Guard, whose purpose is to leave the nest to reproduce, should not settle in the nest. She made a minimum-sized temporary nest for the newborn me and took care of me, but this was only temporary. When I started to lay eggs and entered the military construction phase, they left the nest. There seemed to be no need for unnecessary communication.

I lie in bed all day. A soft bed made of collected animal hair. This beautiful bed that looks like it is covered in silver thread is my favorite. Being on it calms me down.

In the story of "hunterxhunter," the humans who appear use a special ability called "Nen Ability." This seems to be an ability unique to humans, but demi-human Chimera Ants who have inherited human traits by eating humans can also use Nen Ability.

Perhaps I can use it too. Although I have the body of an ant, I have a distinct personality. I think the possibility is not zero. If you can use your Nen Ability, you will be able to do all sorts of things. Anyway, I have a lot of free time, so I decided to try Training just in case.

Nen is a technique for handling Aura, which is an expression of Life Force. Everyone has this aura, but very few people can intentionally perform Manipulation on it. In order to perceive this aura, one first needs to open the paths of aura known as Shoko.

The simplest and fastest way to open Shoko is to receive an Aura attack from a Nen user. It forces one's own Shoko to open and awaken by colliding with another person's aura. However, this method seems quite dangerous.

If you are attacked by a Malice-filled Nen user, the chance of being killed is naturally higher. Even if they survive and the Shoko is opened, if they do not have the technique to retain the Aura overflowing from their Shoko, they will soon run out of Aura and die.

But in my case, I cannot do that, so there is no need to worry. Because there are no other Nen users here. There is another safe way to learn Nen that can be done by one person.

It is Meditation. Slowly calm your heart and face yourself with one mind until you feel the Aura in you.

However, this method takes a long time to awaken. Even for talented people, it seems to take half a year. That is a long time. Before that, there is still a fundamental problem, which is whether my body, that is, an ant, has Shoko.

However, it is impossible to doubt everything from the beginning. The first step of learning is to believe in it with all your heart. If my guess is correct, there should be some human blood flowing through my body. I cannot say that I will never remember.

I close my eyes (I cannot close them because I have no eyelids, but I feel as if I have closed them) and focus my attention inward, as if searching for my own thoughts. I spend most of my time in Meditation.

This place again. Having the same dream. A dark room, countless capsules.

Only one, a human girl in a broken capsule.

"Who are you?" I asked.

She looked up at me without any expression. However, his eyes were stained with negative emotions. As if it were hatred that denied everything in this world.

She was not expressionless. Passion filled his expression, and everything was built upon the void of it.

Deep eyes that attract your gaze. That gaze pierced through me.

She opened her mouth. The answer to my question was spinning.

But I could not hear it. Unnatural radio noise drowned out her voice.

It was as if he himself was rejecting her words.

Awakening. I was dreaming. As I continued Meditation, I found that I had fallen asleep without knowing it, and always started having the same dream.

In the dream, I see a silver-haired girl. Saying something. I don't remember the details because I forget them quickly.

This is not a very pleasant dream. Could this be the effect of Meditation? Her Nen Ability has not made any progress, and I still cannot perceive a trace of Aura.

Furthermore, I have been feeling unwell recently. The egg-laying season is coming. For a Chimera Ant Queen who lays eggs by eating and mating, eating is also a reproductive act. The more you eat, the more soldier ant eggs are produced in your body.

They leave offspring for the prosperity of their own species. This is a natural act as a living being. If I did not have a personality and just lived like an ant, I might feel the love of life in my belly and happily prepare to lay eggs.

But now for me, laying eggs is unacceptable. I shudder at the thought of hundreds of mysterious lives crowding in my belly. I simply cannot believe that these are my children.

If this is to happen, I do not need the feeling of approaching a human. No, this is not a personality problem. Until now, I have been balancing my senses as an ant and my senses as a human to live my life. In the life of a Chimera Ant, I have never felt any pain.

The only problem is "laying eggs." This is simply unacceptable. As an ant ecology, emotional disgust takes precedence over reason. I don't even know why I have this feeling.

Gradually, he stopped eating. The more they eat, the more they prepare for egg-laying. At the thought of this, I have no appetite. However, the soldier ants do not consider my situation and continue to carry food as before.

The bed is piled with Red Stone. The soldier ants, who usually do not forget to tidy up the bed, have never cleaned the Red Stone. It is as if he is being forced to make me eat.

Physical strength is declining. My body has no strength. I still don't want to eat. I seem to have escaped my mission, squatting on the bed and continuing Meditation.

In my dream, I am in that dark room again.

As usual, I stare at the broken capsule. However, the girl is not there. Suddenly feeling uneasy about where he went, I search around the room. But she is nowhere to be found.

"Okayama"

I heard someone's voice. It seems to be a radio signal that talks directly to your head. A tremor runs through my body.

"kokodayo Okayama"

Radio waves are emitted from a capsule. It looks the same as the other spheres around it. But it has a will and is talking to me.

"bokutachi, mousugumareruyo"

A bad feeling. I am going crazy. Stuffing your ears and screaming until your throat hurts. It is useless. The voice invades the head riding on radio waves.

"I'm going to go, wait for me, mother"

Both dreams and reality are being eroded by madness. Even if I stop eating, my body continues to change for the egg-laying season.

My abdomen is swollen. A life different from mine is wrapped within it. An existence different from mine, even though they are inside my own body. As a mother, I do not have the slightest love for my children.

I even want to tear open my stomach. But if you do that, you will die. I also think that if I didn't like it so much, I should have given birth to the children. But what awaits her is her life as an Ant Queen.

Hundreds or thousands of eggs must be laid in succession to form a nest. Even if I were in such a corner before I gave birth, I don't think my spirit would hold up.

Death is the only way to get rid of this pain. In fact, there have even been times when I wanted to hurt myself, but this body is surprisingly Hard, and even if I slam it against a Wall or bite it, it won't get hurt.

But in the end, I don't think I really want to die. If you really thought that way, and you could easily end your life, then you certainly wouldn't be in such pain. The more I want to die, the stronger my attachment to life becomes. Only the pain that cannot be escaped accumulates.

Sure enough, my abnormal behavior was unsightly, and the soldier ants taking care of me began to monitor me. I felt uncomfortable with their actions because I was in a mentally desperate situation, but they might have been considering me in their own way.

Even the fact that they continued to carry a large amount of food must have been their reaction to worrying about me starving to death. Even now, he looks after me so that I don't hurt myself. Thinking of this, I feel very sorry.

If you ask me who is the worst, it is myself, without any excuse. Children are born without sin. I know that. But regardless, I cannot deal with it calmly.

I didn't eat that day either. I haven't eaten for several days. Has it been a week? Even so, he is still conscious and can move, although he no longer has any strength. The Life Force of a Chimera Ant is very strong. You can survive for a while while fasting.

But we cannot go on like this forever. The limit is approaching. Before that, you must reach your own conclusion. Are you going to live like an Ant Queen, or...

Kick, kick

Suddenly, there was a loud noise. This is the threatening sound of our comrade. Gritting the mandibles, making a sound of metal rubbing against metal. The ants near my room, the Queen, would not make such a sound indiscriminately. I looked over there to see what was happening.

There was the King Ant. It is my father. We had never met before. He had no interest in me at all and left all the care to his direct Bodyguard soldier ants.

Why appear now? The King Ant is one size larger than the soldier ants. From a human eye, the difference in body length is only a few centimeters, but from our perspective as ants, the difference is obvious. The feeling of intimidation is not the proportion of a soldier ant.

The moment I saw my father's figure, a strong sense of disgust welled up. A displeasure that makes you not even want to acknowledge that the ant in front of you is your father. My spirit was dominated by a passion that was almost murderous.

I was very confused by the change in my emotions. When I saw the King Ant, I had never had this feeling. Indeed, he had long ignored me, his own child, but that is the behavior of a Chimera Ant. There is no good or bad, and I agree with that. But if that is the case, what is this feeling I am holding now?

Kichi...

Almost subconsciously, I made a threatening sound. Perhaps in response, the King Ant walked toward me. I instinctively felt fear. I climbed off the bed and retreated to run away.

The King Ant followed closely behind. At this point, my fear exceeded my disgust. Terrifyingly scary. I ran away without knowing what I was afraid of.

However, the result of the match was obvious, such as me having lost my physical strength without eating, and the physically robust King Ant, chasing each other. There was simply no place to escape in the originally narrow room, and it was easily caught up from behind by them.

The King Ant scrambled to take the mount from behind me. At that moment, the disgust suppressed by fear emerged again. No, I cannot express it in words. It is a terrible horror that cannot be described in words.

"Stop! Help!"

Although I knew I couldn't get through, I couldn't help but seek help via radio communication. Looking at my soldier ants, seeing this situation, they actually didn't move. I twisted my body frantically, trying to get rid of the King Ant pressing on me.

Even he got rid of the King Ant's restraint, showing strength that surprised him, not knowing where such strong physical strength still came from. The King Ant that was shaken off left just as it had come.

I don't know what you want. In any case, my body and mind are trembling and exhausted, as if they have been disrupted. Even after returning to the bed, I couldn't stop trembling. I don't know why the King Ant would come here now, nor do I know when he will come again. Thinking of this, I don't want to rest well, and I kept staring at the doorway of the room, unable to take a break.

Hellish days followed. Due to anorexia, I was malnourished, but my body was steadily preparing for egg-laying. Nutrition flowed into the abdomen, as if laying eggs was more important than living.

Since then, the King Ant has appeared in front of me frequently. It bites my exhausted body. Although we cannot communicate, I still understood what I wanted to say. I tell you to lay eggs early. Do your part. The evidence is alive.

He no longer has the strength to resist violence. I will do whatever I want. The armor-like red exoskeleton, having been bitten by the King Ant countless times, left fangs and cracks. No matter how Hard this armor is, it cannot withstand the fangs that have Red Stone as their main ingredient.

Stop Meditation. It's not very, but I am not in a state where I can calm my mind and become mentally sharper yet. However, I started having this dream.

That space represents my inner self. I guess those Goo suggest the eggs in my stomach. Day by day, the number of Goo that talked to me increased. I don't know if that voice is really the eggs in my stomach. Perhaps this is just an illusion projected by the guilt I have for not wanting to lay eggs.

However, true or false is not important. The noise echoed in my mind. I don't know if this is a dream or reality. I have always been able to hear "their" voices.

I feel like a balloon inflating in my stomach. The egg-laying season has arrived. I am ready to give birth at any time. Sealing this instinct, it only stubbornly endured it.

I don't want to give birth. To me, this is the most abominable thing. I don't know why, but even if I am in pain to the point of dying, I cannot lay eggs. My memory rejects it.

One day, the King Ant came and cut off one of my legs. The next day, I picked up another one. That was yesterday. Today it might come again. Then the third leg will be gone. Is tomorrow the fourth? Even if both of his legs are gone, he won't be bothered. You can lay eggs without legs. To him, I am just there to lay eggs.

Sure enough, the King Ant came. It bit my leg and shook me. I was dragged around like a toy, my legs were torn off, and I was slammed against the Wall. Consciousness darkened.

"Mother, why won't you come out?"

"Sun Love Taro"

"Bokutachi, nanimowaruikotoshitenainoni"

I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm being crushed by the voices rushing in like angry waves. Unbearable. I feel like I am no longer myself. I squatted down, holding my head.

Someone touched my shoulder. Looking back, it was a silver-haired girl. He was looking at me with the same expression he saw at that time.

I doubted. Who is she? Isn't this a world that expresses my inner self? The Goo represent eggs. Then what is she? Why are you here?

"Who are you?" I asked.

She opened her mouth as if to interfere, and all the Goo started making sounds at once. Can't hear. I can't hear anything....

She grabbed my crushed neck. Come face to face. Close, close, close enough to touch. The voice finally reached my side.

"You are me," she said.

At that moment, her existence disappeared as if it had never existed. And notice. My body is the same as that girl's.

Human hands, human chest, human abdomen, human legs, and human head. Yes, I am human. I didn't realize this, but I was human from the beginning.

The noise disappeared. The radio is tuned correctly.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"You are me," the Goo answered in unison.

But it's still not perfect. Slight noise still exists.

"Wataru Hachitaka"

There are some Goo that emit a particularly large brilliance. They are still noisy. Very uncomfortable. I hit the Goo.

It was softer than I expected. A fist bit into the membrane. It is elastic and not easy to break. Hit, kick. Grab it with both hands and pull it left and right. Bite with teeth.

"I, ha, no, ah, ah..."

Finally broken. A sticky, shiny liquid seeped out from inside. The noise disappeared. There are other sources. Must destroy all of this.

"Crossing the Eight Heights"

There is more.

"Crossing the Eight Heights"

Noisy.

"Crossing the Eight Heights"

Silence.

"Crossing the Eight Heights"

I.

"Crossing the Eight Heights"

It is you.

All the noise vanished.

Awakening. The sunlight is blinding. Is this outside the nest? His joints creak and scream. I cannot even stand up. I only have three legs left.

The exoskeleton is tattered. Full of scratches and holes. But still alive. It seems he was not killed. However, judging by how he was driven out of the nest, it seems he has been completely abandoned and exiled.

I cannot move because I am covered in wounds. But my heart is as radiant as ever.

The bloated feeling in my stomach is gone. I cannot even feel the instinct that I must lay eggs. I have broken free from the shackles.

I have obtained "me".

――――――

"Psychological Synchronization"

An operational ability. Based on the Chimera Ant's radio communication ability, it can emit radio waves very carefully. It manipulates the bodies of those who come into contact with these mental waves, transforming their consciousness into a "Mind Sharing Body" exactly the same as one's own. A "departure" created by the Ant Queen unknowingly.

Originally, the Ant Queen, who had not yet awakened her Nen Ability, should not have been able to obtain this special ability, but her mother, a girl with a Specialist constitution, helped manifest this ability through "Dead's Nen".

【Constraint】

It only applies to opponents with an immature ego.

It only applies to those who have the exact same aura as the user.

It only applies to the other party whom the user identifies as "I am".

【Vow】

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